


Like the angel you are

by niamcuddles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Homeless, M/M, homeless!niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-18 19:26:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 164,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2359523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamcuddles/pseuds/niamcuddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To be honest, Niall has already given up on his life ever getting any better, he's used to being on his own and not being looked after, so maybe not even a way too caring stranger can help changing that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, I'm not gonna lie I started this story about 6 months ago and I finally wanna finish it so I decided to start uploading it here so that I'm more motivated to carry on! So in case this seems different from my frequent stuff it's because it's partly a lot older, but please tell me what you guys think! :D

"Hey, kid, get away from here or I'm gonna call the police! Last chance!" Niall flinched at this voice, this was the second time they wanted to throw him out of here, with everyone watching while giving him dirty looks, it made the boy panic inside, he couldn't take anyone staring or threatening him. "And don't you come back!"

Even as he hurried outside the coffee shop, Niall still heard the whispers, well, a lot of those weren't actually whispers, because no one really cared whether he heard that he was 'filthy' and 'disgusting' and you know what, maybe they were right. Actually, Niall didn't wanna be around himself either, but it's not like he had much of a say in that. 

The only jacket he owned was really thin, which was why he had been trying to avoid going outside for as long as possible, also it was getting dark and well… Niall was fucking scared that the guys from last night would somehow find him again, though he was in a completely different part of the city now, but that also meant completely different dangers, maybe ones that would make him pray to get the old ones back.

The only place he could go to was the park really, he had been at the mall before, for the water in the resting rooms, but once all the tourists would leave, someone might get alerted by some strange looking boy still hanging around there and then well… do what that guy in the coffee shop had threatened Niall with.

At the first sight, he might not even look THAT bad, but looking twice, Niall's clothes were maybe a little dirty, torn up at the hem, a few holes here and there since all he had were like, two shirts and an almost completely ruined backpack.

The thing about late summer was that there were more people who thought it would somehow be a good idea to block all of the benches just because they wanted to sit there and stare at nothing, which got Niall a little worked up to be honest, if he would have to pay so much money to be in London then he wouldn't wanna just sit around, then again though, tourists usually also were more generous, he had gotten ten whole bucks today, so who was he to complain or judge other people really.

For a while or so, Niall pretended to just be enjoying walking around, he still sometimes got a few weird looks though which made him very uncomfortable, it was so embarrassing to feel so grossed out with yourself, having other people judge you, even if he preferred that over guys who liked to call him every name in the book and push him into bushes, leaving him crying the whole night. Well, it wasn't their fault that Niall was so overly sensible though, at least they hadn't seriously injured him, maybe he should be thankful that he had always gotten away with a few bruises, more mentally scarred than physically.

Once it got dark, Niall found a free bench luckily, it was a little away from the main way, so exactly what he had wanted, but he just sat down first of all, not getting his blanket out or anything, that would just make people suspicious, he just sat there, doing nothing at all since he had forgotten the newspaper at the coffee shop and reading the one from yesterday really wasn't exciting anymore after doing it for the third time.

After an hour or two, the park pretty much cleared out, it was getting really dark too, except for that one street light, but it was further away and anyway, maybe no light was a good idea, less chances for anybody noticing him. Niall wished he had a clock though, so he'd know whether it was midnight already or not, not that he generally cared about the time that much, but he did today for just one single reason.

"No, I told you, I left… no… I'm not, I… No! You listen to me now, I…" That voice nearly made him jump and tumble to the ground, the last thing Niall had expected was someone walking past, or even worse, sitting down on the other bench next to his, obviously not taking any notice of him though.

It was a guy, Niall couldn't see his face that well because he was wearing a hoodie, something he had been trained to immediately be careful around, be scared of even, like, big, muscular guys with dark faces, but actually this one sounded pretty desperate to be planning on killing Niall or hurting him, he didn't wanna listen to the conversation this stranger was having on the phone, but the guy was only five meters away, not talking very quietly either and Niall had nowhere else to go, silently praying that he'd stay unnoticed if he just kept still enough. 

"Well, it's not exactly fair that you judge me for that now, it's my job to travel and-…. yeah, whatever, then believe what you want, I wasn't fucking cheating on you!" And then he obviously hung up because he leaned forward, sighing slightly while burying his face in his hands, the hoodie fell off as he ran his fingers through his hair, Niall couldn't stop staring at him with wide eyes, like a deer in headlights, he was so terrified that guy might be really enraged now, maybe looking for a punching bag or something to let his anger out. "Fuck…"

See what he meant? The stranger here might wanna get rid of his aggressions, maybe he wanted to hit something or yell at somebody, Niall, for example, oh god, he should really just try and sneak away, or- "Oh." 

When Niall was dumb enough to drop his backpack while trying to get up, it felt like signing his death penalty, freezing while staring at that guy whose head had immediately turned in shock, brown eyes piercing through Niall's. Shit. "Did you… did you just hear all of that?"

No, Niall should've yelled at him that NO, he had not heard anything at all, or run away, but the stranger looked like he was really strong and fast and also Niall was hungry, and pretty weak with a lack of muscles, so maybe that wasn't a good idea at all, he couldn't even talk after all because he was so bloody scared, his palms getting sweaty, heart bumping so fast as if it might jump out of his chest any second. 

"Look, ummm… I know this is kinda awkward, I mean… maybe you could try and forget about it or… we can take a photo, how's that?" What? What was Niall gonna do with a picture of him stare at it? As if he didn't have enough reasons already to be terrified, what was wrong with that guy? "Are you… okay? You're not gonna start crying, right?"

Well, he really wanted to, because Niall had no idea what the hell was going on, but at least the guy didn't seem mad, just a little panicked now actually, maybe Niall could like, change the topic to distract him from whatever the hell he was talking about, because even though he might not seem very violent or anything, he came off as pretty insane which didn't make things any better. "Do you… can you tell me how late it is, please?"

Obviously, that was the wrongest thing he could've said, because the stranger's eyes nearly fell out as far as Niall could judge from the distance and the darkness, but maybe it was the confused expression on Niall's face that made the other guy take another look at his phone, his answer almost sounding robotic. "Well it's… like 11 thirty. Umm…"

"Oh, thank you. Sorry for… listening to your… conversation but… umm… I hope you can work it out." Or so, wow, Niall was so fucking stupid, really, he should've just left, why couldn't he shut his mouth for once, after getting into trouble so many times for being so annoying and talkative?! Oh right, because he was pathetic enough to even find it nice that someone was talking to him at all, and not to threaten him or humiliate him, just a normal conversation, though maybe the situation wasn't that normal thinking about it.

"Thanks, I… wait, it's really late and you… how old are you?" Why'd that matter? Why'd he seemed so concerned right now?

"Ummm… sixteen." Well, if it would've been midnight, Niall could've said seventeen, so that was a little depressing … or maybe not, did he really want time to pass by so fast?

"Oh, really?" Yeah, Niall looked a lot younger, which wasn't really helpful at times, actually never, though people tended to take more pity on him if he looked younger, but it also made him seem like an easier target for anybody else, so even if he did get more money, he could be sure it'd get stolen from him again anyways. "You know, maybe you should go home, there are a lot of drunk guys here at night."

Well, THAT was something Niall could've written a novel on. "I… I can't really, so yeah, I…"

Maybe he should've just said that he would, take his stuff and leave, but the truth was, Niall wanted that stranger to keep on talking to him even if it was highly dangerous, who knows, maybe he was just waiting to call the police or something, Niall had been fucked over so many goddamn times, he shouldn't trust someone who was hanging around in the park in the middle of the night when they obviously didn't have to be here. How old was that guy even, twenty five or so, what was he doing here, it seemed as if he was hiding or something, which would make two of them actually. "Oh, why not? There's an underground station over there, I could… umm, show you, I guess."

"That's okay, thank you." Was he trying to kidnap Niall, he didn't sound like he would actually, his voice wasn't angry or anything you'd expect from somebody who'd try to hurt somebody, but then again, he was nothing more than a stranger either.

"Did you forget your money? I got, um… " What the hell, if Niall wouldn't have had so many bad experiences, he would've really yelled at the guy now to ask what the hell was wrong with him for taking his wallet out, but so he just stared at him, speechless, because the whole situation had taken a completely different turn than he had thought it would. "I only got five bucks, sorry, or I would've paid for your taxi."

"W-Why?" Wow, would he really just give _Niall_ this much money? Obviously, he hadn't figured out yet that the boy had nowhere to go, so if he played it well then maybe he'd give the money to Niall and leave him alone without anybody getting hurt or angry.

"Why not? It's really dangerous, you know, and the underground station as well, I mean at night and all, and you don't sound like you're from here, am I right? Where are your parents or, ummm… I don't know, school class or something?" Was this the nicest person on earth or was Niall just being made fun of big time without noticing?

"W-Well, I… I should probably go and… look for my class or so, I guess, well…" He couldn't know, he didn't have an idea yet, apparently hadn't noticed Niall's dirty clothes or the countless holes in them, so the boy decided that losing those five bucks was worth not getting raped, he quickly got to his feet, picking up the backpack that was still lying on the ground, attempting to leave while he still had the chance to.

"So, you do have enough money?" No.

"S-Sure… I'm fine… " It wasn't a complete lie, Niall did have enough money for a ticket after all, if he had wanted to buy one, which he didn't, but that wasn't for the other guy's interest. "Ummm… thanks for the offer… bye, I guess." 

"Wait!" Oh god, he was coming after Niall, he was going to punch him, the younger boy already felt it, he shouldn't have turned his back on an extremely weird stranger, what was even wrong with him tonight?! "Here, take it anyway. Just wanna be sure."

None of those horrible things Niall had thought would happen actually occurred, he just stared, completely confused as the stranger was offering those five bucks now, Niall could take his appearance in better now that we were standing closer, he was keeping his distance but Niall still saw the brown eyes, the guy had a nice face, which didn't say anything at all though, but somehow Niall wanted to believe that he really was just being a good person that happened to have sat down on the bench next to him without any intentions at all. Yet still, being careful was Niall's biggest priority if he wanted to survive, that also meant turning down things he could actually need just to save his skin. "No, really, I'm fine, I-"

"Come on, here." As the guy stretched his arm out, the sleeve of his hoodie slipped a little, giving Niall a glimpse of something tattooed around his wrist, something written, the boy wasn't really sure what but there might've been another tattoo peeking out from under the stranger's clothes as well, though Niall didn't wanna stare too obviously, a mistake he had made way too often.

The look on the other's face told Niall that there was no way he'd just let him go, so Niall didn't back away when the stranger came closer, carefully almost, causing Niall to try and hide his backpack a little, maybe the guy wouldn't notice how dirty it was or how ripped the younger boy's jeans were, how torn up he looked in general. "Okay… thank you, ummm?"

"Liam. My name's Liam." Right, pretty common name, Niall just nodded even though he found the intense glance he got at that a little weird, as if the guy expected to get another reaction from him at revealing his name, but he let Niall take the money without further do, causing him to try and not to look into those brown eyes anymore, he felt quite weird now, as if his whole life story was written across his face.

"Thank you, Liam, really. I really… gotta go now or my… my parents are gonna worry." Was that too much? Maybe, but whatever, Niall had already made the mistake from before again and turned his back on that Liam guy, fastening his steps a little, wanting to jump from joy for having another five bucks, now he had fifteen for tomorrow! That was a lot, like a birthday present or something, he could really count himself lucky, things like that didn't just happen very frequently, because usually Niall was very good at sensing whether someone was gonna hurt him or yell at him, but he had been wrong this time apparently, it really had just been a nice stranger. 

Niall would've looked over his shoulder to check whether he was being followed again, but he didn't dare to in fear that he actually was, there were no footsteps after all, actually, there were no sounds anywhere except for a few cars and stuff, but you always hear those no matter how late it was, it was kinda comforting too, instead of hearing nothing at all at least.

Since now Niall had to look for another bench to sleep on, just in case that Liam guy would go back to the other one, he needed to find one that qualified, preferably far away from his previous spot. The thing was though, Niall wasn't really paying attention or thinking anything bad right now, consumed by the happiness he felt while walking, still not being able to believe his luck, on one hand already kinda thrilled about tomorrow, something that rarely happened, maybe all the tough luck he's had lately was finally over.

"Hey, kid." Or not. 

It wasn't Liam's voice, so that's why Niall checked with a look over his shoulder, immediately regretting it at seeing two men, they looked a little tipsy and one of them laughed way too loudly, a beer bottle in his hand that Niall already saw flying across his head, all of the happiness and relief drained from his body within half a second. Shit, why did this always him?! "He's talking to you, boy."

This had happened a lot of times, yet Niall still didn't know how to handle it best, he just wanted to run away, but what if they caught him? Who knows, they might just wanna make fun of him and leave again, he just wouldn't answer and keep on walking, some people just found it hilarious to call him names without actually doing anything. 

But not those, apparently. "Are you deaf or something? Don't you want a little company? You're all on your own, aren't you? We saw you at the mall today, washing up in restrooms, huh? That's filthy, you're fucking disgusting."

"I-I was just…" Washing up in a restroom, Niall didn't know why he had bothered turning around now, stopping, maybe because they were coming dangerously close and he had hope he could maybe talk himself out of it, besides, he felt very vulnerable, having his back turned towards those men, he'd at least like to actually see what was going on. 

"Yeah, of course, poor, little boy. Who knows, maybe we let you go if you pay us well enough, let's see what you got, kid, gonna have to starve a little tomorrow then, but you're gonna go rob some tourists again anyway, am I right?" They were so close now, Niall took a step back, shaking from how much he feared to get hurt, quickly reaching into his pocket to pull out all the money he had, even though it hadn't been stolen like they had accused him off, he didn't steal, ever. 

"N-No… h-here's a-all I g-got… P-Please…. don't h-hurt m-me…" One time, Niall had been beaten up so badly by some guys that he hadn't been able to move anymore for a few hours which explained his voice going all shaky, shivers running through his body as they ripped the money from his numb fingers before laughing at how little it was, Niall already wanted to clutch his arms around himself in pain that was sure to follow now. Those weren't that kinda guys that made fun of you and then left. 

"We saw that guy giving you money before, are you like, selling your body or something? That's filthy, let me look at your bag, bet we got some more things in there." There was nothing Niall could do when one of the men ripped the backpack off of him violently, causing him stumble so he landed straight on his butt, not daring to move even though it had hurt pretty badly. Just no crying right now.

"I don't think he's got anything, look at how dirty it is, we might catch a disease if we touch his stuff." More laughing while Niall just watched from the ground, there was nothing in the bag besides a blanket, newspaper, a second shirt and his passport even if that didn't fall out because it was hidden in the back pocket luckily or they would've taken it for sure. Niall watched silently as all of the contents were being emptied on the ground in front of him, it was fine if it got a little dirty, he could still pick it back up once they left again. _If_ they left again.

"That's seriously pathetic." Moving back a little as they kicked at his things, a tear escaped Niall that he hardly noticed, he was so fucking terrified, it felt as if though his heart might stop any second, he just wanted to get away, with is stuff or without, he just didn't wanna get hurt. "Well, since we don't need a whole bunch of useless shit, we gotta find something else you can pay us with so we let you go, right?" 

"N-No, p-please…" That was it, Niall couldn't hold the tears any longer, quickly moving back further on all four before trying to get to his feet, why was he so fucking stupid, if he would've just pretended he didn't know where the underground station was, Liam would've showed him and he could've gone somewhere else far, far away from here. "P-Please d-don't…"

"Awww, are you crying? No worries, we're just teaching you how-"

"Hey, shut up. You hear that? There are people coming." Really?! Immediately, Niall tried to see someone in the darkness, but there was no one there as far as he could tell, besides, he needed to keep his attention on the two men fighting in front of him now.

"So what? Let's get him in the bushes and-"

"No! I can't get into more trouble, I don't wanna go to jail for fifteen bucks from a homeless child!" If there really were people coming, which Niall thought so as well because he suddenly heard footsteps, then he should've maybe yelled for help but one, he didn't wanna draw more attention on himself and two, if they found him, they might call the police anyway. 

"Stop yelling around, you bastard!" Because of them being so distracted, Niall quickly managed to get back up to his feet finally, still crying a little bit, not knowing what was happening anymore, all he knew was that there was someone coming, who might not even be better than those guys, but it still caused them to put their hoodies up really quickly, running off into the other direction, leaving a completely freaked out and terrified Niall behind with all of his stuff spilled on the dirty ground. Fuck, he had no money anymore, what was he gonna do tomorrow?! Or even tonight? What if they followed him, he couldn't even buy a ticket anymore for the underground!

"Oh god, are you okay?!" Niall's head shot up at this, he had completely tried to blend the steps out while stuffing his backpack carelessly, thinking about the easiest method to just kill himself and escape this stupid messy life, but the fact that LIAM had followed him threw Niall a little off track. Or a lot, was the guy trying to kidnap him after all? 

"I'm fine…" He sniffed, trying to get up straight again without scrunching up his face in pain, he couldn't believe that Liam was still here, that he looked worried, not that that changed anything now, Niall's night was ruined already. Or who was he kidding actually, everything was ruined, and had been, for a very long time.

"Are you hurt? I heard what that guy said, they took your money? I can-"

"No, I'm fine, alright? Just leave me alone!" This was so stupid, Niall could've needed some help, but he didn't trust Liam, besides, his sight was all blurry from those tears which got him even more mad, he wanted to storm off, drown in his sorrow all by himself, but a sudden tight grip around his wrist forced him to stay.

"You got nowhere to stay, have you?" Wow, big surprise.

"Stop stalking me and let me go!" Liam's face was a little shocked since he had had that realization, he was so strong, it nearly hurt to try and wind out of his grip, but Niall didn't stand the slightest chance anyways, whatever this guy was planning on doing to him, Niall wouldn't be able to defend himself and he knew it.

"I'm not stalking you, I just found it weird to see a sixteen year old alone in the park at midnight with torn up clothes, telling me he's gonna go find his class and then five minutes later it's suddenly his parents." Well, but who could guess that Liam was so damn interested in Niall that he'd remember those stupid lies he had told before?! 

"What do you care?! Let go." Why was he keeping Niall here, his heart was going to jump out while more silent tears streamed down his face, he was angry and scared, though mostly, Niall was just clueless what to do now, not even that terrified of Liam anymore, because let's be honest, things couldn't really get any worse than they already were. That's when suddenly, Liam's face got soft.

"What are you gonna do now? You have no money left and… do you have a home?" This just made Niall cry even harder, why did he have to rub it in?!

"N-No… l-let g-go…" Weakly trying to open up Liam's fingers with his free hand, Niall just gave up and went limb, there was no point in exhausting himself, this was a lost case, maybe he could beg. "P-Please d-don't h-hurt me…."

"What?! I'm not gonna hurt you, I… look, I just… what's your name?" Obviously this situation was a little overwhelming for Liam as well, especially now that Niall was sobbing rather loudly, he just couldn't keep it in anymore, how much shit could happen in just one night?

"N-Niall…" There was no point in lying, what was he gonna do if he knew Niall's name, he'd probably still hurt him anyway, just like _everyone_.

"Alright, Niall, look. You have to get out of this park in case those guys come back and hurt you. Would you come with me if we go find a cash machine and I give you some more money? Would you know ANY place to stay at all?" What was wrong with him? Even more money, damn, did he have so much that he could just throw it around and give it to homeless people?! Niall was so confused by all of this, he just wanted to be left alone to cry god damn it!

"I-I… I d-don't need y-your m-money…" Liam was probably cutting off his blood circulation now with the tight grip, at this point Niall would've maybe even stayed here without being forced to, since that Liam guy would've been able to catch him in no time, and then he'd be really mad at Niall for trying to escape, he wouldn't wanna risk that.

"Well, no offense but it looks like you do. Come on." When he pulled a little, Niall tried to resist for a second but then he had to take a step anyway, if he didn't wanna fall face first. "I won't hurt you, I won't do anything to you, I just wanna help."

"W-Why?" See, the thing was that Niall knew why people stole his stuff, beat him up and called him names, it was because he deserved it, his life was fucking pathetic and he knew that all those things he got called were the truth, but Liam here offering his help made no sense at all, why would some random guy just help Niall out? This seemed very strange, there had to be a reason behind all of this, a very scary one probably that would leave Niall as a sobbing mess, because that's what usually happened. 

"I… I just want to." Didn't sound like a very good reason but it's not like Niall had a choice but to buy it, because Liam dragged him all the way back, never letting go of his wrist, his fingers were overlapping, that's how tightly he held onto the younger boy.

There weren't many people anymore, actually, none at all, which made a lot of sense considering the time, yet still, Liam pulled his hoodie up again, it seemed as if he was quite paranoid, maybe he was crazy and Niall was just blindly walking with a lunatic who had no idea what was even going on right now. When Liam nearly froze at the spot because of a group of girls on the other side of the street as they reached one end of the park, Niall couldn't help but blurt out with his question, he was already trapped anyways, did it really matter now what he said? "Are you a criminal or something?"

"What? I told you, I'm not gonna hurt you or-"

"But why are you so scared then of anyone seeing you?" Maybe he was a murderer, what did Niall know, he never read those sections in the newspaper, it was scary and he didn't like scary stuff.

"I just… well, I wouldn't have to be so careful if I didn't have to pull you by your wrist, it might seem weird if anyone sees." Exactly!

"Maybe you should just let me go then. And not kidnap me." By now, Niall had stopped crying, but his face felt really wet even as he tried to dry it with his other sleeve, nearly bumping into Liam as the man suddenly stopped walking at what Niall had said, his face falling a little as he turned his head to look at the younger boy.

"Do I look like I'm gonna kidnap you?" Yes, he was wearing dark clothes, he had tattoos, and obviously he didn't like to shave in the mornings, call Niall prejudiced but he had at least noticed one of those things in every guy that had hurt him.

"Well, a little b-"

"I'm not and I'll show you, come on." To Niall's surprise, he wasn't pulled into a car but across the street instead, of course with Liam still looking around all panicked, something told Niall that he had lied before, he probably really was a criminal, not that it mattered, it couldn't make him any less trustworthy than he already was, Niall could've screamed for help but he was scared of just getting shot or something like that, besides, in case someone would come for him, there was no guarantee that the new person would be any better. That's something Niall knew better than he knew anything else, he couldn't trust, not a soul in this world.

Which was why his heart nearly stopped when they really did stop in front of a cash machine, his wrist was still being held by Liam to keep him there, but the older boy reached into his pocket now, pulling out his wallet and then a card. Was he kidding?! "You're really giving me money?!"

"Yes, I told you. How much do you need?" Alright, NOW Niall was really scared, maybe Liam had a disease or something and was desperately trying to save the world before he died, Niall had read a story like that once in the newspaper. Or maybe he was just bloody insane. Or maybe it was not his card even though he seemed to know the code pretty well. "If I gave you a thousand bucks what would you do?"

"Get robbed, probably." Ridiculous, he probably didn't have any money at all, this was way too strange to be true.

"No, but seriously, how much do you need?" They were just looking at each other now, Liam hadn't typed in anything yet, he was seriously waiting for Niall to answer, but what did he want to hear? Sure, a thousand bucks would be nice, but so would be a million and only one, the only question was how long until the money was gone, Niall didn't know what to say, the fact that Liam, a complete stranger, was willing to give him, a kid from the streets, anything at all seemed pretty ridiculous, and so desperately too as it seemed like, in the middle of the night, he must have some pretty damn big issues.

"I… I don't need your money…" Well, Niall did, but as he looked down to escape Liam's intense look, his stomach twisted a little, making him feel bad for all of this, maybe Liam was really just trying to help, maybe he wasn't a murderer or a psycho, either way, Niall couldn't take whatever it was he was being offered. "It's fine, thanks, I… I know how to survive on my own."

Liam sighed at this, but Niall still didn't wanna meet his eyes again, he really had no clue what to do after he'd get his wrist back, because it seemed like he would actually be allowed to leave, but he didn't have anything, not even those fifteen stupid bucks from before. "I'm stupid, right? I mean… you don't need money, not really, you need somewhere to stay and… I could get you a hotel room."

"What?" Was he being serious, was this guy made out of money or something?! Niall stared at him again, just to see if he meant it or if it was just a big joke, but he was just biting his bottom lip, deep in thoughts as it seemed.

"Or something to eat first or new clothes but it's… so late already and… where's your family, Niall? Or anyone you know?" With his mind still stuck at 'something to eat' Niall just shook his head slowly, not knowing what to answer, he didn't wanna tell a stranger anything private, rule number one. "Okay, you don't have to tell me, but… are you all on your own? And I know this sounds a lot like someone who would wanna kidnap you, but I won't and you're free to go whenever you want to just… I wanna help."

As he let go of Niall's wrist all of a sudden, there were prints from his fingers on the pale skin, causing Niall to rub it slowly, not even thinking about running away like he would have a few minutes earlier, where'd he run to anyway? "I… I'm on my own."

"And you're so young and… shit." Obviously it got to Liam, maybe he felt bad for Niall, he had no idea what was going on right now, but Liam closed his eyes quickly, as if he was trying to decide something and then he got his card out of the machine again before looking at the younger boy, speaking slowly, carefully. "I have an idea. Come home with me and we'll think of something to do there instead of here."

"Come home with you?!" In what world did he live, this just screamed rape and murder, Niall's jaw just dropped at how serious Liam seemed to be, but his expression seemed desperate as well, as if he really wanted Niall to come, as if he was just the person he seemed to be, just some nice, rich guy. "Why would I do that? I don't know you."

"Well, I don't know you either." True, however a completely different situation seeing as Liam could probably break Niall's neck with his bare hands. "It's just… you know, I'm scared that those guys from before will come back and do something to you and I'm also scared that I can't give you enough money to really help you and also… well, you're only sixteen and… I feel bad and I don't think I can go to sleep tonight thinking about that I just let you go. And if I really wanted to do something to you, I would've done it by now."

"But…" It was so tempting, like, wherever this guy lived, Niall would like to be in a normal flat again, for a little while even, and Liam was so nice after all, and Niall didn't think that his life could get any worse, what if Liam kept him caged somewhere, it would still be better than living on the streets, he couldn't treat Niall any worse than the boy was already being treated every single day of his life. Sure, he had been contemplating a lot of theories before, about Liam being a rapist and a murderer and whatnot, only now, when he was actually being _offered_ to come along and home with Liam and not being dragged into a car or whatever, now, Niall really did consider saying yes. What was there to lose? His freedom? His self respect? Niall wasn't free and he wasn't even sure what self respect actually was. "Do you really mean it?"

"Yeah, I do. I'll call a taxi now and meanwhile you can decide, okay?" Wow, and Liam had an iPhone too, maybe he rally was rich or something, why'd someone like him pick someone like Niall up from the streets and take them home? Well, that question alone should've woken Niall up for being this stupid, but he watched as Liam spoke on the phone, thought about what his options were and he came to the conclusion that 'don't get into a stranger's car or flat' couldn't really apply if every single person in the world was a stranger.

 

———————

 

Maybe there was a tiny bit regret once Niall pulled the door of the taxi shut after getting in, but it was too late once Liam said something to the driver, who eyed the younger boy very suspiciously by the way, and the car started again, driving off.

It was so nice to sit in here, Niall had almost forgotten how to use a seatbelt which made Liam look at him rather worriedly but the younger boy hardly noticed, he was really fascinated looking out of the window, it was so strange not having to walk or taking the underground hoping that no one would yell at him again, even though he always paid.

No one talked, well, not to each other at least, Liam seemed really annoyed as he picked up his vibrating phone, sighing out something like 'Harry, I already told you that I left ninety minutes ago'. This didn't sound like someone who was planning on killing some kid from the streets and to be honest, if he wanted to kill Niall then why all that effort?

To Niall's surprise, once they got out of the taxi, they still had to walk and even though he wasn't being pulled along anymore, Liam was still fucking paranoid, his hoodie was pulled up again as well, but Niall didn't dare asking, he just kept as close to the older boy as he thought was alright because Liam still seemed safer than anybody else right now, especially safer than those guys that had gotten him a few weeks ago, in exactly this area somewhere. "Is it far?"

"No… you know that really high building? It's that." Wasn't that expensive as shit? Niall didn't ask, because somehow, this didn't surprise him, Liam seemed to be really rich, which made everything even stranger to be honest, if he wanted to kill Niall, he wouldn't do it in his flat, and if he wanted to have sex with someone, he could've just used his money to get himself a stripper, right? Hopefully Niall's thoughts would never leave his mouth. 

"Why aren't we taking the main entrance?" Another thing that got him suspicious, but what was Niall gonna do, Liam nearly pushed him through after locking up another door, a back entrance as it seemed, panicked again before quickly blocking Niall's sight, or maybe he was blocking his face from something because it seemed quite like that actually, only that wouldn't make any sense.

"Because that would just mean more walking." Yeah, like, two minutes, Niall was about to go take the stairs, but a voice stopped him. "Niall, wait, we'll take the elevator. It would be too far."

"Okay…" Or maybe he doesn't want anyone to see you, was what a voice in Niall's head told him, but it was too late once the doors closed, making all the anxiety fall off of Liam at once, he opened his hoodie up now, not trying to hide his face or hair anymore, a slight smile playing on his lips as he looked down at the younger boy, not a creepy one though, it was really soft actually.

"I'm glad that you decided to come with me." Only why was the question here. "You don't have to be scared of me, I promise, I just wanna help, nothing more, but you'll see."

Niall had no idea what to answer, now that Liam had said that, he WAS scared because this elevator was going up high and he'd have no chance of escaping from there even if on the other hand, he was desperately hoping that this guy really wanted to help him, maybe he'd even give Niall something to eat, that'd be great.

No matter how many times Liam had shown him that he was rich tonight, literally nothing could have prepared Niall for the apartment he stepped into a few minutes later, this was unusual, for someone so young and even Niall knew that even though as you can guess, he wasn't in apartments very often, but everything was so clean and it was so big and modern and the TV was so gigantic, Niall hadn't even known stuff like this existed, not even talking about the goddamn view from up here! "Wow…"

"Alright, come on." Liam hadn't noticed the boy's impressed face, or maybe he was just choosing to ignore it however Niall still followed him down some hall to another room, that one was just as impressive, and he had another TV and his bed was bigger than anything Niall's ever slept in his whole life. "I guess you wanna take a shower, right? I'll get you some of my clothes, I mean, you're pretty small, maybe I'll find some older stuff but it'll be a little loose, I hope you don't mind."

He'd let Niall shower?! The boy couldn't even close his mouth anymore from being so impressed with everything, this bedroom was insane, he'd kill to sleep in here just one night, there was a shelf with something on that looked like awards or so, maybe it was decoration, Niall for sure wouldn't ask though, he had other things on his mind anyways, trying to progress all of this was hard enough. 

"Alright, here you go, I'll show you the bathroom, okay?" His smile was really nice as he handed Niall the clothes, he would've thanked Liam but his throat felt too tight for that, all he felt capable of doing was running after the older boy through the apartment like a puppy. "There are some towels on the left, you can use everything in the shower and if you need any help, just call for me, okay? Oh, right… there's some unused toothbrushes over there in case you wanna brush your teeth. And your clothes… just leave them here, we can wash them if you want, okay? I'll be outside."

"T-Thanks…" There was no way that this could be happening right now, he just gave Niall another really sweet smile before pulling the door closed after walking into the hallway again, leaving Niall alone in his massive bathroom, maybe it was even bigger than the bedroom had been.

First of all, Niall did exactly nothing besides trying to avoid the mirror, he didn't wanna know how bad he really looked like, under a lightning like this one and a full body mirror, he was just staring at all the things in here before his eyes got stuck on the shower, he hadn't showered in fucking ages.

Without even bothering to lock the door or having any time to be frightened, Niall took all of his clothes off, carelessly throwing them onto the ground before getting into the shower, nearly sighing out loud from how good the warm water felt. It was sensational, a few bruises and little cuts on his body were stinging but he simply ignored it, just standing there without bothering to move for at least five minutes straight before looking at Liam's shampoos and shower gels. Apparently one wasn't enough, but Niall didn't waste any thought on that, just taking one that was already open, he didn't care what it smelled like anyways, everything was better than what he smelled like now.

In the end, Niall probably took way too much, but it felt so nice to get clean, to wash his hair and make sure his feet weren't dirty anymore so he wouldn't ruin Liam's floor, he felt so incredibly good afterwards that he could've cried from happiness, no matter what Liam wanted from him, this had just made up for _everything_.

For a second, Niall thought about putting on his own clothes, thinking he might be thrown out again soon, but then he still put Liam's on because they were clean and smelled washed, it was nice, he would've never thought he'd be able to wear something like that again, or feel so clean and warm, he almost felt like a real human being again

Also, Niall found the toothbrushes, actually he used to have one himself but it had gotten so disgusting that he had been forced to throw it away, planning on buying a new one soon because he didn't want his teeth to get bad, it would just be another burden.

As Niall walked out again slowly, he felt like a lot of time had passed by, Liam's sweatpants were a little big on him, he had to actually tie the strings, and his shirt was loose too but it was really comfortable and snuggly, and Niall shouldn't have felt this safe and alright, but he couldn't help myself.

"You look really young." This nearly made him flinch, Niall hadn't made a lot of noise while walking back into the living room slowly, well, it actually wasn't a living room, it was just one big fat room with couches and a TV and a kitchen sorta thing, he had been so captivated with observing everything that he hadn't noticed Liam being there, he looked a little worried now as he eyed Niall from his place on the couch. "Are you sure you're sixteen?"

"Actually I'm… I'm seventeen." The clock on the wall read shortly after one am, so yeah, it was officially Niall's birthday now.

"Why'd you lie before then?" He wasn't mad, just confused, which Niall understood, he played with the shirt he was having on because he didn't wanna meet the other guy's eyes, the TV was muted too now which made it very quiet, causing him to feel a little uneasy.

"Well, I… I was sixteen when you asked me how old I was." As Niall shrugged, he saw a smile spreading across Liam's face from the corner of his eyes.

"Oh, is it your birthday today? Is that why you asked me for the time?" Why'd he always remember every word Niall had said?

"Yes…" There was literally nothing else to say, he felt weird for just standing there while Liam was sitting on the couch, but luckily he waved the younger boy over, really excited now as it seemed.

"Happy birthday, Niall. Come here, you can sit down if you want to." Niall's legs moved without him planning on it, he sat on the other end of the couch, painfully aware that Liam never moved his eyes off of him, still smiling though, as if none of this was weird to him or bothered him in any way. "I ordered some pizza, I hope you're hungry, if I would've known it is your birthday I would've let you choose, sorry. Well, you can decide on breakfast tomorrow."

"T-Tomorrow?" Almost choking while Liam raised his eyebrows, Niall thought he had misheard the last sentence, he wanted to let Niall stay _over night_?!

"Well, yeah? I have two guest rooms, you can choose one. I wouldn't kick you out in the middle of the night and I'm alone here so you're welcome to spend the night, we still haven't talked about solutions yet, have we? And it's really late and I assume we're both hungry so we should just eat and then go to sleep." This was too much, Niall shouldn't have accepted any of it, he should've grabbed his stuff and left but when he looked into Liam's eyes, they were so soft and caring, he was literally the nicest person Niall had ever met in his whole entire life, he didn't wanna have to leave, never again, he didn't even care if there would be consequences to this, he just wanted to stay.

"I-I… thank you so much, Liam, I… I don't know why you're helping me but no one's ever done anything like this for me and… I can never repay you, I-"

"Hey, come on, why'd you wanna repay me? I'm doing this because I want to and right now I'm just really glad that I came after you. Let's not talk about stuff like this for tonight, okay? We can… pretend that we're friends." At first, Niall didn't know whether to laugh or to be shocked, but the other boy's face was so soft all of a sudden, it caused him to swallow and thinking that having a friend like Liam would be really nice.

"But I… we don't know anything about each other." Also, Niall didn't wanna tell him anything and maybe Liam knew that because he laughed quietly, still watching the younger boy.

"Ask me anything." That was an invitation, right?

"Are you rich?" This was the first thing that came to his thoughts and Niall mindlessly blurted it out, causing Liam to sigh a little, half shrugging, right, that had been a pretty stupid and rude question, the couch they were sitting on probably had cost more than a small flat.

"Well… I guess so." He didn't sound like a snob or so, but why would he deny something that was so obvious, this had been Niall's fault if anyone's, he shouldn't have been so nosy.

"How old are you?" The next thing bugging him the whole time ever since he had first seen Liam, Niall was sure as hell he must at least be ten years older than himself.

"I turned 20 like, two weeks ago." Twenty?!

"You look… a lot older." They only had an age gap of three years and look how different their lives were, Niall was fucking homeless and Liam… wait. "Do you go to university or so?"

"No, I… well me and three of my friends, we kinda… well, we make music, you know." Didn't explain all his money, and why was he so nervous now?

"Oh. Are you good? I mean… I don't wanna ask too much, sorry." Maybe he had another job, maybe his parents were rich, Niall shouldn't just jump to assumptions, after all, he wouldn't wanna get asked such personal questions either.

"No, it's fine, I guess we're alright, yeah. Well, I hope so at least." This made Niall wonder if Liam could play an instrument, he nearly blurted out that he could play the guitar just because talking to Liam felt like talking to someone he knew since a long time already, even if Niall didn't actually know anyone so you could probably say that out of everyone, he knew Liam the best.

Before anyone could say something else they heard the doorbell ring and Liam jumped up so quickly that Niall almost flinched, but before he was left alone, Liam turned the volume of the TV on again, shoving the remote into the younger boy's hands before disappearing into the direction of the front door.

This confused Niall a little, a lot actually, he didn't feel like it would be alright to change the channel so he just looked at whatever was on, some movie that he didn't know, the last time he had properly watched TV had been approximately about two years ago or so, well, sometimes there are TVs in like, cafes and stuff, but yeah, it felt nice, to just sit here, not freezing or feeling dirty or having to fear for his life or what he would wake up to the next day, Niall felt really good here and he shouldn't have, but he couldn't help it.

"You shouldn't bite your nails like that, it'll start bleeding." As Liam playfully scolded as soon as he came back, Niall immediately pulled his thumb from his mouth, it was a habit, all his nails were bitten down, some to a point where it hurt, but he always thought that at least they wouldn't get dirty then, either way, he couldn't seem to stop. "Okay, here's your pizza, I got plain for the both of us because I didn't know what you like."

"You… you got me one for myself?!" A whole one?

"Well… yeah? If you're still hungry afterwards, my fridge is about half full." Niall's shocked voice seemed to confuse Liam, but he still caused Niall to feel like the luckiest boy in the world as he handed him the carton, like, once someone had given him the last slice of their pizza and he had been really happy about that already but this was just, wow.

"Thank you so much." Niall didn't dare check Liam's face because he was busy opening the carton up and inhaling, like, it wasn't even a small pizza, it seemed really big to him, there was no way he could finish all of this, maybe Liam would let him take the rest with him tomorrow when he left again, he seemed so nice, Niall couldn't even imagine that Liam would say no to anything at all.

"No problem… right, we have nothing to drink, one second." So then Liam got impossibly nicer when he asked if Niall wanted some coke, he hadn't had that in ages so it tasted even better now and even if he was very aware of the older boy's stares because of how fast he was eating and drinking, Niall didn't wanna slow down, he hardly had time to be embarrassed for it, it was just habit, besides, he hadn't had something warm to eat in so long, he couldn't just sit back, eat slowly and enjoy it even if he had wanted to. "So… your accent, it's irish, right?"

"Uh… yes." Couldn't hurt if Liam knew that, right? Ireland was pretty big and besides, there was nothing there that would give him hints on anything, he could exactly do nothing with that information.

"How long… have you been in London?" Niall almost didn't answer, but the question had come out really careful, plus Liam was so nice that it felt like the least thing Niall could do was give him the answers he wanted, if anyone deserved them it was definitely Liam, even if it made Niall pretty nervous.

"Like…two years…" That hadn't been exactly what Liam had wanted to know but Niall didn't know how to explain his situation, he had never told anybody and he wouldn't even know if he'd be able to do it without starting to cry or completely freaking the older boy out, after all, he was just here for one night, he wasn't gonna risk getting kicked out now. 

Luckily, Liam just considered it for a moment before accepting it like that and dropping it, which surprised Niall, every second this guy was just getting nicer and nicer, it was unbelievable how he treated some kid from the streets, he just changed the topic completely, switching through the channels then, sometimes commenting on stuff or asking harmless questions, it almost felt familiar to talk to him, as if they had known each other since forever, as if they were just friends hanging out and eating pizza. Niall found myself wishing he wouldn't have to leave tomorrow, which was exactly why he shouldn't have come in the first place, besides the obvious dangers of course, but it was too late now anyways, so he could as well enjoy it while it lasted. "I wonder if there's ever anything interesting going to come on tonight, doesn't seem like it."

"I don't mind." Liam switched the channel again while Niall shrugged, still busy with his pizza, he didn't care about what channel was on, he enjoyed sitting here with Liam way too much as to feel anything apart from happiness.

When the older boy put the remote down again, there was like the end of a music video, it must have been a popular song because Niall recognize it, he had heard it in the mall, so he looked down again, not really paying attention to what came on next until he heard some sound next to me, checking to see that Liam had dropped the remote. "Shit, I…ummm…"

First, Niall was really confused as to why he wanted to change the channel so quickly all of a sudden, so he checked the screen while still chewing, taking a few seconds to recognize the song because he didn't know the video obviously, but he did know it was One Direction even if he had no idea what the song was called but he knew about them because he had seen so many girls with shirts of them and stuff like that, not that he really cared about it or ever payed any attention, just one of those things you know about because they were so popular, always in the newspaper as well. Probably Liam didn't like them if he was in such a hurry to switch the channel, but Niall didn't feel too embarrassed about asking anymore, it was a harmless topic after all. "Oh, don't you like them? They're always on in the malls and stuff, a bit annoying."

The least thing he had expected was Liam staring at him for that, blinking once before breaking out into laughter, what had Niall said that had been so funny? "Well, I… I mean, that song right here is pretty old already, huh? They could play another."

"Yeah… they're pretty young in that video, I wonder how old they are because I always see teenage girls with their shirts on and stuff…" Liam's face was so amused, Niall had no idea why that would be, was he a fan or something?

"I guess they're around… my age or so. Not reading the newspaper, are you?" He teased, still smirking while Niall felt the urge to tell him that he did in fact read the newspaper, but not _those_ kinda things.

"Yes, I do, just not about boybands, I don't even know their names. Do you?" The look on Liam's face told him that he did, maybe Niall should have apologized, if Liam liked them, then Niall shouldn't be so mean about it, he had just jumped to assumptions, because hell, sometimes Liam did act a little strange.

"Maybe, if I think about it really hard." Then he winked at the younger boy, who still had no idea why but it nearly made him spit out his coke, Liam really wasn't bad looking or so, he looked really good actually and Niall felt hot thinking about this, it was so wrong, he'd probably never see this guy again after tomorrow, he couldn't think those things or get used to them, he wasn't allowed to.

As Liam got up all of a sudden, Niall nearly panicked, he didn't want to be left alone, but luckily, Liam just got something more to drink before coming back, smiling at the younger boy as he sat down, helping him to calm down again. He wasn't gonna hurt Niall, he knew that for sure now, maybe Liam really only wanted to help, it just seemed too good to be true, that he was so funny and nice and caring all at the same time, it made Niall wanna stay there forever just talking to the other boy and feeling this safe and alright. This was probably the best turn of events he had ever experienced.

 

—————

 

When Niall felt something really soft under his cheek and a weight on top of him a little heavier than his blanket, it immediately cause him to jerk up in shock, it was almost completely dark but as he felt around himself, he realized that he must have been lying in a bed. A _real_ bed, so he must still be in Liam's apartment, but… he didn't recall getting into a bed, he must've slept in on the couch, maybe… maybe Liam had carried him, wow, if so then that was incredibly nice, Liam was Niall's favorite person in the whole world without a doubt, even if he'd have to leave him soon and would never see the other boy again, he'd be forever grateful anyways.

As Niall got up slowly, stretching a little, thinking about just lying back down because well, if he was asleep, he couldn't be thrown out, but he knew he really had to leave sooner or later, he just didn't want to, and who could blame him, really?

Apparently it was already the next day, and way later than Niall usually woke up, because there was no sound or anything, it was warm and silent, he wished he could've slept for another ten years, or never woken up again, but yeah, too late, at least he had caught up on sleep a little bit, and a really relaxing, dreamless one as well.

As Niall found the door handle in the darkness, he almost expected it to be locked, which wasn't the case of course, Liam wouldn't do something like that, he trusted Niall enough for whatever reason to let him wander around his apartment while he slept. Niall found myself in the hall, he hadn't been in this room before, but he was just a few doors down from where the bathroom was so he felt safe to find his way back to the living room, if Liam wasn't awake yet then maybe Niall could just enjoy the view for a bit while he waited.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?" But Liam actually was awake, and in a really good mood as well as it seemed like. And also, he was only wearing sweatpants, no shirt and with the tattoos on his arms on display, they kinda suited him very well.

"Good… thank you for, you know umm… everything and… I can get my clothes and-"

"Come on, sit down first of all, I haven't had breakfast either yet." He just cut Niall off like that, gesturing him to sit down at the kitchen table so that's what Niall did, a little confused as to why he didn't tell him to leave but rather was continuing to be this extremely nice. "Do you want coffee or hot chocolate? Or juice? Or water? Literally, you can have anything actually, I've got more to drink than I have to eat."

"Umm… hot chocolate, please, if that's oka-"

"Of course, I offered it to you, didn't I?" There was a brush on Niall's shoulder that nearly made him jump as Liam walked by, had he really touched Niall, just like that?! He had trouble already to not stare at Liam for being half naked, so this was making everything even harder, Niall didn't wanna leave. "Okay, we also have toast and umm… some cereal but I'm not sure if you'll like that because it's like, healthy and stuff, but anyway, I'll put everything on here, okay? Just eat whatever you want."

"O-Okay…. thank you." It was insane, to just be sitting here while Liam talked on about some dream he had had last night all while putting stuff on the table and then his phone vibrated as well and he was texting while still speaking to Niall, the younger boy tried the hot chocolate meanwhile, very carefully, but it tasted heavenly anyways, Niall almost choked trying not to drink it too fast.

"You know what I've been thinking about? There's gonna be um, rain tonight, I mean, I've heard it on the radio and I was thinking that maybe umm… like, you could stay another night if you want to. Or actually… a few more days, you know." Liam wasn't looking at Niall while saying this, if he wouldn't have known better, he would've said the older boy was blushing a little bit, not that Niall payed that much attention right now, he was really surprised by that offer, still not considering it for more than half a second though.

"I… I'm gonna be okay, thank you, I don't wanna… bother you any longer and you've been so nice and… yeah…" Oh god, Niall hated himself for doing this, he wanted to say yes one million times and throw himself at Liam and hug him and cry but here he was chewing his toast and saying that he was gonna leave soon. He had to.

"You're no bother at all and you're welcome to stay, but it's your decision, I won't lock you up here. I just wanted to say that… I don't mind having you here and you know, what's one more night?" Yeah, he said it so easily, but what's one night and then what's two and what's a whole week and then when Niall would leave again for real, it would be even harder than it had been before, it'd be really hard right now as well but he'd get over it, this wasn't his home after all, he didn't belong here so there was no need pretending that he did. 

"No, really… I'll be fine, I'm so thankful for this already. Thank you." It seemed as if Liam wanted to say something but then he just nodded once, taking his phone again as it lit up, sighing slightly, so Niall just decided to ask, simply because Liam had never been annoyed by his questions before. "Are you… okay?"

"Yeah, I just… well, remember last night, when I was on my phone? That was my girlfriend and she's like really pissed at me and stuff, because I went out last night and forgot to call her and she accused me of cheating and stuff and… well, I'm just a little mad and she just texted me, that's all." Right, of course he had a girlfriend and all that, and probably a really busy life, of course it would bother him if Niall stayed a few more days, it would just be really annoying for him anyway, Niall had made the right decision telling him that he'd leave today.

"Oh, I'm sorry… I hope she'll come around, you're really nice, she shouldn't accuse you of that." This guy seemed like the last person on earth to cheat and still he looked up a little, surprised as it seemed to hear that coming out of Niall's mouth.

"Thanks, Niall… must seem pretty dumb to you, doesn't it? I mean… having problems like that…" Actually, that's not what Niall had thought about at all, but now that Liam had said it, he was already shaking his head, the older boy seemed a little embarrassed for having told Niall, but he liked that Liam had done it, almost as if they were real friends.

"No, I don't think it's dumb at all, everyone has different stuff to deal with, you know." Liam stared at him for a second before looking down, thinking about those words as it seemed and Niall quickly ate a little more because even though he had managed to eat half of the pizza last night he was hungry again, so he better ate a lot now so he wouldn't need anything else anymore today.

They stayed silent for a bit, Liam wordlessly got more toast and Niall thanked him silently, turning a little red at how much he was eating but Liam hardly payed attention to that actually, besides, Niall felt like he had interfered into this guy's life so much already that it didn't really matter anymore whether he ate that slice of toast or not. He would've asked Liam if he could have something else to drink as well but he didn't dare to, because he didn't wanna be rude, Liam had told him that he could eat everything he wanted but Niall wasn't sure if that counted for drinking as well.

"Hey, Niall, um… you know, I have this backpack that I don't need anymore, yours looks a bit… damaged, so maybe you wanna have mine? And also… I washed your clothes when you were asleep, but if I look through my closet I'm sure I'm gonna find something else that you can keep, you know. Or I'll give you some money and you can buy something yourself if you prefer that, whatever you want, okay?" Yes to all of that but Niall only smiled slightly at Liam even though he felt kinda dizzy after stuffing so much food into his body, he felt as if he might explode or something.

"Thanks, I… if you really don't need that backpack anymore…." He didn't wanna take Liam's stuff but sometimes Niall really was scared that his backpack would completely break, so yeah, a new one couldn't hurt, right? 

"Of course not, you can have it. I can give you a lot of other stuff as well if you need it, like, your socks are a little bit torn and stuff and I have a bunch of old shirts as well that I would throw away sometime anyway." Something told Niall that Liam didn't have as many old shirts as he was telling him, Niall couldn't take them all, but he just kept up the smile for now because Liam seemed so excited about getting all of this out, offering it to Niall, making him want to cry about how much he didn't wanna go away from here. And from Liam. "Also, you can take a few of those toothbrushes, I just have them for whenever someone comes over or so, I can easily buy more, okay? Or you could just stay."

"I…" No idea what to reply, Liam had just thrown that in as if it was nothing, Niall couldn't give in, as much as he wanted to, really, but it wouldn't be good for him. The toothbrushes on the other hand…

"It's okay, just think about it, alright? You could always come back as well, I mean… you need a key to go up here but if you're waiting downstairs or so, I'd see you sooner or later." God, please someone stop this boy, he made Niall like him even more than he already did and he felt awfully close to tears, it was like saying goodbye to a really good friend even though Niall was still dressed in the clothes he had slept in, not even attempted to get up yet.

"Thank you really… ummm… where'd you put my clothes?" Can you believe that Niall had wasted another one and a half hours at breakfast? And the clock on the wall already read 12 pm, he must be insane for still being here and Liam must be as well, for constantly trying to make Niall stay, why would he do that anyways? Probably just because he was a good person, not because he actually wanted him to.

"The bathroom." Liam seemed a little disappointed by Niall's question, or maybe Niall just wished that he would be, but he did his best not to look at the older boy as he got up, attempting to put away his used plate. "Oh no, leave it, that's fine, really."

"Thanks, Liam…." Saying his name felt really nice, like, Niall didn't know anyone else by their name, it felt special, also when Liam said his because no one else ever said it out loud or even knew, sometimes Niall forgot about what he was even called.

The stare in his back was hard to ignore as Niall walked over to the bathroom, closing the door behind himself again, using a few seconds to just press his eyes closed, forcing the tears back inside his body. No, he couldn't stay here or come back here, Liam was just offering it out of being a good person, he didn't need Niall here or wanted him here, Niall needed to go and be on his own like he had always been.

His clothes were hanging over the edge of the bathtub, even folded, but somehow Niall had a feeling about those not being his own socks but other ones, actually, he knew it for a fact, but pretended not to notice, it was nice having some without holes in them, if Liam had thrown his away then Niall was forced to take those ones, right?

Also, he had never known that his shirt actually had a completely different color, it looked so clean, a few stains hadn't gone out but that was completely fine, and the jeans were still torn but not dirty anymore, or smelly, wow, this was awesome, Niall wasn't even disgusted by his boxer shorts anymore. 

Since he figured that Liam didn't have any use for the toothbrush anymore that Niall had used last night, he brushed his teeth again before taking it with him, not feeling to bad about it because Liam would probably throw it away later anyways, so he left the clothes he had worn in the bathroom as well for the same purpose, Niall wasn't really hygienic after all, he wouldn't blame Liam for disinfecting his whole apartment in a bit. Not that he'd ever find out. "…Liam?"

"I'm here, come over!" The voice came from Liam's bedroom, it was really creepy that Niall knew his apartment so well by now that he didn't have to think about where he had to go as he walked over, stopping a bit further away as he saw Liam holding something up to show him. "Look, that's the backpack, okay?"

"Thank you, really." It was just black, that was good, no attention to be drawn on, but what worried him was that Liam was going through his massive closet as Niall entered his room, pulling a few more things out while kneeing on the floor.

"Okay, I know you'll maybe say no to a lot of the stuff, but here's a hoodie that I really don't need anymore, and it'll get colder, right? So please take it. And a few shirts, just take as many as you want to, you can also have a pair of sweatpants or so, like, pick a few things, or all of it, I'll be right back, okay?" There was that brush again, on Niall's bare skin because he had left his jacket by the door meanwhile, but goose bumps were raising all up on his arm as Liam got up and hurried out of the room, leaving Niall to stare at the all the clothes Liam would give to him to keep, he wouldn't even be able fit half of it into the backpack if he had wanted to.

Still, Niall told himself it would be really dumb to not take a few of the things, as much as he was against receiving so much help from somebody he could never repay, so he chose the hoodie and another shirt, that should be enough, Niall also put the stuff from his own backpack inside the new one, he'd throw it away later, it was really disgusting anyway and he had actually gotten it from a dustbin once.

"Niall…" At Liam's voice, the younger boy quickly turned around to see him in the doorframe, something in his hands that nearly made Niall sigh, no, he couldn't take all of this, no way. "Here's a few toothbrushes and toothpaste, some bandaids and also, here's some money."

"I can't… I can't take the money, I-"

"Just take as much as you need, okay? Well, and also… here's my phone number." Oh. "If you need anything, you know, don't hesitate to call me. I'll give you a few coins for a pay phone, for emergencies or so. It doesn't have to be one though, just… if it's really cold or so and you need somewhere to stay. Or whatever."

"R-Really?" Niall couldn't help but be speechless because what the hell, Liam was giving his number to a stranger, a homeless kid to make it even worse, this was so nice, the fact that he offered Niall that he could stay here for a night or so, he probably would never do it but it felt so good to know that someone cared. Or pretended to care at least, Liam was really trying his best here for no apparent reason, actually causing tears to well up in Niall's eyes.

"Yeah, of course, there you go." Wow, he really came over to hand all of those things to Niall, he took everything besides the money, well, he did take fifteen bucks because that's how much he would've had if those guys hadn't been there last night, but Liam rolled his eyes and gave him another ten, which was where Niall drew the line, promising himself not take any more, this was way too much already, he owed this guy his whole damn life now. Not that he regretted coming here, hell no. "And you don't have to go now, you know, you can stay a little while, or a little longer, whatever."

"No, I… I should really go, yeah…" Fuck, why was he so sweet?!

"Okay…" It didn't sound very excited but Liam let Niall step out of his room and over to the front door where his dirty shoes still were, he took a little longer to put them on than necessary, those few minutes didn't really matter anymore either, he had spent too much time in this apartment already. "Alright… well… take care, Niall, okay?"

"You too… I just, I can't thank you enough for this, I don't even know what to say." Standing face to face to him nearly made Niall cry, this was horrible, like, Liam just had such a great personality and the ability to make you feel so safe and as if it would be alright to tell him anything and he'd listen and try to help you, Niall would never meet a person like him again, knowing this was really depressing.

"You don't have to say anything, I wish I could do more for you actually…umm… can I hug you?" Fuck yes.

"S-Sure…" No one had hugged Niall in so long, he nearly jumped at how tight Liam's arms were around him, the older boy was still shirtless so Niall felt his skin under his cheek and on his arms, he wished Liam would've never let him go, now he had finally managed to do it, Niall was crying pretty badly the second he pulled away and nearly stormed out of the apartment without saying another word or even throwing another look into Liam's face.

Fuck this, really, he hated his goddamn life, he was losing everything and everyone and he couldn't take this anymore, coming home with Liam had been the best idea yet also the worst somehow, it had been fucking great while it had lasted, but stepping outside again felt like being crushed by reality.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and giving me kudos, it really motivates to write faster! :D

A week passed by, Niall tried to forget Liam, he really, really tried hard but it didn't work the way he wanted it to, especially while wearing the boy's clothes, Niall loved the hoodie and wore it instead of his shirt when it got colder, also, the money was really helpful too if he only ate every second day.

Like predicted though, it rained that night after he had left, which wasn't really surprising seeing as he was in London and all, the bigger problem was that it didn't stop anymore after that, especially the last few days had been pretty bad, wet and cold and uncomfortable.

Since Niall hadn't been able to go back to that park, he had to find other places to sleep there, but he always got kicked out of underground stations and stuff even if some nice tourists stepped up for him once but it didn't really help so then he just left anyway, he was used to it after all, sadly but true, none of this was new and it used to make him cry but not anymore.

The only big problem was that he caught a cold, it wasn't bad at first, only a little coughing and Niall felt a little hot as well but that was fine, last winter he had gotten sick as well, really badly, but he had survived it too, only then he had managed to stay in the cellar of an empty block of flats outside the city, and now he had really nowhere to go that was inside, so he was out in the cold 24/7, plus the fact that he was sick made people avoid Niall even more than before. If that was any possible though, probably not. 

Truth be told, he had almost called Liam once, just to hear his voice actually, just for someone to talk to him and be it only for five seconds, but just as Niall had gotten the courage to do it he realized he had lost all the coins, not feeling strong enough to go and beg now when all he wanted to do was sleep, but it was hard because he was always shivering so much that he kept himself awake. Also, it wasn't really a good tactic to have like coughing attacks when you're trying to stay invisible, but what should Niall have done to avoid that? Maybe he was going dying to die, if he was so cold already, what was he gonna do in winter? Hopefully he'd never have to find that out and be dead until then. 

So while sitting on a bench at another park and watching people walking past, Niall thought about accepting Liam's offer for the very first time ever, like, go there and wait for him to come home, Niall knew he wouldn't actually do it, but the possibility that he might was good enough right now, like trying to make himself believe that he would actually go there right after he had taken a tiny nap. It also distracted him a little from the mother calling her child back that was walking a little too close to him with the words 'Honey, get away from that boy, that's gross.', didn't really help that Niall had to cough really badly again right at that second, like it actually hurt his throat so much he wanted to cry, yet at the same time, he felt himself slowly falling asleep right there, in the middle of the park, not even late at night, wondering if Liam had already forgotten about him.

 

_"But what are we gonna do with the boy? Does he have any relatives?" Niall pressed his ear tighter against the door, keeping one hand over his mouth and nose, so he wouldn't make a sound. He shouldn't have even been here, he should've been deep asleep since hours, but he hadn't managed to close his eyes in what seemed like forever, those pictures haunting him, keeping him awake almost every single night._

_"He doesn't, he can't stay here either. I guess they'll put him in foster care or something." His eyes got wider at this, he couldn't go there, even if he had already suspected it but that didn't mean he wanted it!_

_"He seems really sensitive, would it really be a good idea to take him away from here though, I mean… it's only been a week." Why would they do this to Niall?! They had told him it was fine if he stayed, they were his best friend's parents after all, he knew them since ages!_

_"I can't raise another child, we don't have enough money and I know it's hard but we can't keep him here. I… I don't want to keep him here." When the footsteps came closer, Niall quickly got up, running up the stairs again as quietly as possible, not that they actually cared about what he was doing, that was pretty clear now. He had known it before though, how hesitantly they looked at him all the time, as if it was his fault, as if he had wanted any of this to happen. Or worse, as if he had been the one, ask if he wasn't a victim as well._

_When Niall got back into the room that he was staying in, he carefully closed the door, not crying though, because he had cried enough lately, it felt like he didn't even have any tears left now, as if they were all dried out._

_His whole stuff, or the little stuff that he had, was still all packed up, as if he was ready to go any second, he bet they couldn't wait to get rid of him, get him far away and never see him again. Niall would rather die than go into foster care though, he had heard all sorts of stories of places like this, who knows, maybe he'd even get adopted by some strangers who'd treat him badly, he'd rather run away and live on the streets if he thought about it._

_Yeah, Niall should really run away, not like anybody would come looking for him, they were desperate to get rid of him after all, weren't they? He'd do them a favor, the last and only one he could help them with._

 

"Hey, boy, this is my bench, get the fuck off." There was some push against Niall's shoulder that hurt a lot more than it should have, maybe because everything hurt right now, he felt as if he was taking his last breaths already, actually, he could've really needed that little bit of sleep to try and recover but whatever, maybe he didn't even want to recover anymore.

"S-Sorry…" The man didn't seem like he would hurt Niall, he just simply wanted his bench which the boy understood, it was dark already and the other guy probably wouldn't freeze as much as Niall with a jacket that thick.

As he gathered up his things awfully slow yet still the quickest he could manage, trying to forget about the dreams he's had lately, the man didn't even yell at him so Niall thought that that was pretty nice, the nicest anybody had treated him in the last days, which was very sad thinking about it. 

As he wanted to leave, the man stared at Niall for a moment longer after sitting down before speaking up again, Niall already starting to feel dizzy from standing for twelve seconds. "You know who you remind me of? A few days ago some posh guy was looking for someone and he asked me, you fit perfectly to the description. Maybe he was a policemen, did you do anything?"

"No, I didn't… it's probably a mistake, no one would come looking for me." He sniffed again, not feeling like making any conversation right now, or never again preferably, Niall just wanted to lie down, maybe the grass was good enough. Or even the sidewalk. Or fasten the dying process a little by choosing the street, death couldn't be worse than this, could it?

"Well, if he meant you then he seemed pretty desperate but whatever. You should probably do something against that cold. Goodnight." At least he wasn't threatening to kill Niall and other than him, Niall still had ten bucks to buy some food, the problem was, he just didn't feel like wasting his little energy to go find a store that they would probably kick him out of anyway, and if they didn't, it's not like food would magically heal his cold and keep him alive.

Niall's appearance was not that bad actually, his clothes weren't that dirty and the backpack was really new of course, he just looked like someone with a really bad cold, which probably came from the fact that he did have a really bad cold, the worst he's ever caught to be exact.

After a while of just wandering around, not very aware of his surroundings, Niall found another bench, this was one wasn't that much off of the ways and the chances were about 99% that someone would shoo him away again angrily, but honestly, Niall wasn't really sure whether he would even notice someone speaking directly to him, they'd have to push him or something because sometimes he felt so dizzy and tired that he couldn't really decide whether it was reality or dream anymore. Which was why his nightmares were so damn scary lately, because maybe they were real, and this was a dream, a dream to warn Niall that maybe being put into foster care was better than this right here.

Despite the state he was in, Niall drifted in and out of sleep a few times, sometimes he had flashbacks, sometimes he also thought he was back at Liam's apartment, the cold didn't really fit for that scenario but other than that, it got a little easier that way, if he just kept on pretending, or it was probably called hallucinating by now actually, that's how bad he had gotten.

"NIALL!" That voice came from really far away, Niall tried to ignore it because he was probably dreaming anyway so he pressed his eyes shut tightly, he was using the backpack as a pillow, not even bothering to unpack the blanket anymore nowadays, he still felt cold either ways, and what'd it matter if he died? Less stuff to throw away for the police. "Niall, fuck… Niall, wake up, come on."

The shaking on his shoulder was really disturbing, god, was every bench in this park someone's property or something? Maybe if he explained the situation he could stay, but even just the thought of saying something felt seemed almost impossible, not even talking about opening his eyes or moving, but Niall tried, his voice really scratchy and quiet. "But I… I'm tired…"

"I know, but you have to get up. Please." Somehow that voice was too familiar, Niall attempted to sit up now which was a bad idea because it just led to a lot of coughing again, someone was holding his arm though so he wouldn't fall over maybe, his sight was really blurry now from tearing up so heavily. "That sounds horrible, shit, I'm such an idiot. Niall, listen to me, you're going home with me, okay? And that's not an offer this time, it's already decided, come on."

"What, but I…" Finally, Niall rubbed his eyes a little, being met by a pair of brown ones that he knew too well and he couldn't believe that this was real. Was this really Liam coming to get him? Or had Niall just died? Well, probably it was just a dream, finally a nice one though, even if he still felt like dying. 

"Do you even hear what I'm saying? Shit…" Liam's palm felt really cold against Niall's forehead, like an ice block actually, which was weird because he had thought he had felt cold before already. "I'll help you, come on now, please, we'll go home, Niall, it's okay, I'm here."

"Home?" Why was he saying it as if it was Niall's home too, this was definitely a dream, but still, he was so happy that Liam was here that he could've cried, it felt so good to see him, that he hadn't forgotten about Niall and still cared. Reality was probably different but it would hurt too much to accept that Niall would for sure wake up any second, so he just went with it instead, even if he was tired as hell and getting up sounded like the worst idea in the world.

"Yes, home. I didn't go looking for you for five days so I can leave you here now." Looking for him?

Maybe Niall wanted to say something, he wasn't really sure though, because he forgot a second later, all he knew was that Liam was pulling him to his feet, he was so strong, or maybe it was because Niall was so skinny, either way, Liam was able to keep him up with his arm around Niall's waist pressing him to his side while picking up the backpack too. His grip seemed too firm as for this to be a dream, but Niall didn't wanna make himself any hopes, just standing next to Liam, he already felt warmer, about to let his eyes drop closed again, not even having taken a proper look at Liam up to now.

"Don't you sleep in, Niall." Somehow it sounded really strict, but once a while Niall heard Liam cursing silently to himself so he wasn't really sure anymore, maybe Liam also sounded a little panicked, not that Niall took too much notice, he was half asleep and besides that, he had to cough really badly every few minutes. "This sounds so bad, I should've never let you leave, I'm so sorry, please, you'll be fine again, okay? I'll take care of you, Niall, I promise, I'm not letting you run off again."

There was sniff at the end of the sentence that definitely did not belong to Niall, why would Liam be sad though, if this was just a dream anyways? Niall was walking next to the older boy even if he couldn't feel his legs anymore and had to be held up half of the time too, but he just trusted Liam blindly anyway, it couldn't get any worse than it already was after all, besides, Liam was the only person he felt safe around. The only person he actually knew.

"We're almost there, I got a car, it's all… oh shit." Something had happened, Niall wasn't really sure what or even aware of anything going on around them, but whatever it was, it caused Liam let go of him for a second, no idea what he was doing, Niall was busy not falling over without any help, as far as he could tell there were some people over there, but why'd that bother Liam suddenly? "Okay, listen to me now, I'll explain his later, but here's my jacket, stay by my side and try to hide your face as good as possible."

"What?" Well now that sounded a lot as if he wanted to kidnap Niall, that thought almost made him laugh, he wouldn't mind getting kidnapped by Liam in any way. 

"Trust me, please, I'll explain it, I promise, just not now." Just because this situation got a little out of hand though, Niall tried his hardest to look somewhat awake and get a grip of the situation, as far as that was possible because Liam had pulled him to his side so tightly that Niall felt his shirt under his cheek, he also had Liam's jacket thrown over his shoulder, blocking his view a little in an attempt to hide Niall's face probably. This was… very questionable, yet due to the fact that he was half asleep, half dead, Niall just continued walking by Liam's side as good as he could possibly manage, not getting what was causing that panic in the older boy's voice as he almost squished Niall into him. "Don't be scared, it'll be okay."

For a bit, Niall didn't see the problem at all, yeah, there was a car, a really expensive one too, and some people around it with… cameras? "I don't-"

"Liam, Liam, who's that?"

"Liam, can I get a picture, man?"

"Is it true that you get payed the least?" 

"Did you and your girlfriend break up, Liam?"

"Liam, look here!"

"I'm really sorry, I don't have any time right now, sorry, I'm in a hurry." As soon as Liam had unlocked the car and opened the passenger side, he nearly pushed Niall towards it, despite everything the older boy had said before, Niall was really scared now, and confused too, like, who were those people why did they know Liam and just… what? Only thing telling him what to do was that voice in his ear suddenly, calming him down just a tad. "Get inside, quick. I'll be there in a second."

So Niall did what Liam had told him, he even kept on trying to hide his face for whatever reason, but it seemed to be essential somehow, pulling the door closed behind him again to block those voices out and closing his eyes, almost crying now because he was so fucking confused and so _tired_ and everything just hurt. 

"-really sorry." Almost as soon as someone, who Niall hoped was Liam, had gotten into the driver's seat, he had already started the car while Niall slowly took his jacket down a little, risking a glance, being met by a completely devastated Liam. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Niall, really, they weren't there before, they must've seen my car. Wait… put your seatbelt on."

"Oh….o-okay…" Even though Niall believed that Liam had turned on the heating, he was still cold, so after putting the seatbelt on like requested, he continued using the jacket as a blanket without asking, he literally did not care about anything anymore, just wanting to sleep now that he felt a little safer, even if he would risk waking up in a bit to find out it had all just been a dream, Niall still liked the fact that he could look at Liam's profile shortly before slowly drifting off with his head against the door, it was really calming.

"It's okay, no worries, go to sleep, I got you." He might have reached over to pull the jacket higher, or press his palm against Niall's forehead once more, or maybe even both, but Niall hardly noticed anymore, he was already too far gone.

 

—————

 

Niall's hand grabbed something soft, too soft to be anything that he owned, also, his forehead felt wet so he reached out for it slowly, touching something that seemed a lot like a wet towel or something and… and it wasn't so cold anymore, the bench wasn't hard anymore either and…everything smelled like Liam too. Had he gone to heaven?

When Niall moved a little, groaning unwillingly and letting his eyes flatter open slowly, he noticed some light coming from… wait, that was Liam's hallways and was Niall in… he was in _Liam's_ bed, oh god, this had all been real? Liam had been looking for him?! The guys by the car and then… then Niall hardly had any memories at all, it just cut off there, maybe he could faintly remember Liam carrying him to the elevator… or some other man talking in here as well, but it could've been all fever dreams or something, fact was, Niall was here, still feeling like shit, but he'd take that on him now. Not like he had a choice. 

"Liam?" Niall tried, his throat hurt terribly so he attempted to clear it a little, flinching while he did so, not a really good idea unless you're a fan of feeling as if though some knife was slicing your throat.

"I'm here!" No idea how Liam had heard Niall, he hadn't been that loud even if he had sounded really pathetic, because he just needed to know what was even going on, he was almost too confused to be happy over being here. 

By the time Liam entered the room with a few things in his hands, Niall had already realized that he was wearing sweatpants now and a different hoodie, how'd Liam change his clothes without him noticing? Or maybe… maybe Niall had just forgotten doing it, he liked that thought better than the one where Liam had helped him and seen how disgusting Niall looked without clothes on.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" God, he was even nicer than Niall remembered him, his voice was really soft as well as he sat down on the edge of the bed, checking the towel on the younger boy's forehead with a very concentrated expression, as if it was science or something. "The doctor said you should be fine again in a few days, provided you'll take those."

"Doctor?" Now that added up to Niall's confusion, not so bothered anymore by Liam taking the glass of water from the bedside table after popping a pill from the package into his hand. Did he want Niall to take that?

"Yeah…. he was here last night, don't you remember? I told him you're my little brother and he even left you some candy because he thought you're twelve." Last night, did that mean Niall had been here the whole night? And wow, Liam had cared so much, he had called a doctor?! "Can you sit up a little and take those? It's so you'll feel better, I'll help you, come on."

This was like number one on the list of things you shouldn't do or take from a stranger, popping some pills you didn't know, but Niall was desperate for it to get better and he somehow trusted Liam, besides, he was smiling down at Niall so sweetly that he didn't wanna make Liam think that he would ever accuse him of doing something to him, after all, if he didn't trust Liam, then who else was there to trust in this world?

"Good job, Niall." Even that got him excited, that tiny bit of approval, it was a nice feeling, being told you have done something right even if it was childish, but Niall couldn't help it. "You need anything? Are you thirsty, hungry? Anything else?"

"No, thank you, I… " The whole situation was a bit overwhelming, he still felt a little dizzy looking up at Liam now after he had put his head back down on the pillow, but Niall knew now that none of this had been a dream at all, Liam had really been looking for him. And he had not the slightest idea why he might have done that. "Did you… really go looking for me?"

"Yes, I did. I wanted to do it when you were only gone for fifteen minutes actually. But after it didn't stop raining anymore, I knew I'd have to find you. Niall…" When his voice changed, Niall looked at Liam again, he was biting his bottom lip now, not meeting the younger boy's eyes anymore. "You're really sick and… I don't wanna think about what would've happened if I hadn't found you anymore. I just… do you wanna stay here with me? Because I don't think I'll have one easy minute in case you leave again."

"W-What do you mean?" Did he mean for another night, that would be really nice, because Niall's body still hurt and sleeping in a bed maybe meant that he wouldn't be so extremely tired anymore tomorrow, maybe he'd even be all healthy again, who knew, being with Liam could maybe even cure an illness.

"I mean that… well, I live alone here and I wouldn't mind… some company. There's enough space and all so… you can stay here, for as long as you want to. That's what I meant, you don't have to leave anymore if you don't want to and actually… I would prefer it if you stayed here, I actually want to ask you to and I know we hardly know each other but you were constantly on my mind last week because I felt so bad and you don't deserve any of this. Please stay." It came out slow, carefully, Liam always sounded scared, or nervous, or both, but it didn't help Niall to understand. Did he mean STAY, as in, stay here and not leave again, what?! Niall must've misunderstood, that was certainly not what Liam could mean at all.

"B-But… How l-long-"

"No time limit, Niall. I meant, you stay here with me because I can't leave you alone out there, I'm scared you'll get sick again or hurt or…die. I'm not saying that you need someone to look after you but I… I want to." Niall couldn't do anything besides blankly stare at Liam, he was a little blushed now but he looked straight into Niall's eyes, suddenly reaching out so that his fingers were resting against the younger boy's arm. Probably a mistake.

"I… I can't, you… why would you wanna let me stay I'm just… some kid and I can't accept that because it's your life and your apartment and your money and-"

"Don't care about money, okay? I got enough of that, it wouldn't make a difference if you're here or not, no one would be bothered by it. I would feel a lot better to have you safe and you would have somewhere to stay. Say yes, please?" Liam seemed fucking serious about this, something inside Niall wanted to throw himself at the older boy and say yes ten million times, but he just stayed still for a bit instead, speechless while he stared, and as Liam rubbed his thumb over Niall's skin, his tears just spilled over completely out of nowhere.

"B-But I-I'm j-just…a-and…" No one had ever been this nice to Niall than Liam had been in such a short amount of time, the thought of staying here with him and knowing that he didn't want anything to happen to Niall was mind blowing, like, no one cared about him, but he so desperately wanted Liam to, even if it was wrong and didn't make sense at all and maybe never would. 

"Hey, shh, Niall, you're good, okay? You'll get all healthy again and then we can talk about it again if you want to but I won't change my mind, you can stay here, for as long as you want to. I'll look after you." The last sentence made Niall stop attempting to dry his cheeks silently, Liam looked down at him, his hand still on Niall's arm and with a face so soft that he would've believed him anything right now. Niall really liked the idea of having someone looking after him, after he had had to do it himself all this time, and Liam's soft touches were really soothing as well, Niall didn't want him to stop, like, ever, he wanted all of what he had just been offered, there was nothing he craved more actually.

It felt as if Niall was a child now that needed to be calmed down, no idea what it was about Liam, maybe because he looked a lot older already or because he just used the right words but Niall didn't mind being treated like this at all, actually, he just nodded along, nor capable of thinking anything through now or deciding for himself, just trying to sniff quietly. "O-Okay…Liam…"

"Yes?" His fingers brushing over Niall's arm in even motions was the best thing ever, it were just light touches but it made him feel so incredibly much better already.

"How late is it?" Niall was whispering so that his voice wouldn't break, still rubbing his eye with his knuckles while Liam got his phone out of his pocket, with his free hand though, the other remained against Niall's skin.

"Like eleven in the morning. You slept really long, about thirteen hours or so. But that's good, you'll get healthier again sooner if you rest and also you were really tired, so that's fine." There had probably been no night that Niall had slept thirteen hours before again, he was usually always running on only a few hours, and not while feeling this warm and comfortable as well, or having someone smiling at him sweetly after waking up and stroking his arm, being worried about his well being. How'd he deserve all that?

"Why… why did you give me your bed?" Had he slept here with Niall? That didn't seem very likable, the fact that he had let Niall use his stuff alone didn't make any sense.

"Because when we came here I was carrying you because you fell asleep in the car so I helped you to change your clothes in here and my bed was just closer than the guest room, you nearly passed out on me. But I didn't sleep here as well, no worries." Well, that hadn't been Niall's concern, he wouldn't have minded it anyways because Liam was so nice and just the greatest person he had ever met, having him sleep in here as well might even be somehow comforting, plus he smelled good too and his touches were really warm.

"Thank you… a lot." Niall's throat was still a little hurt so he tried to clear it again, with a little more success this time but somehow Liam got really worried now, even more when Niall couldn't keep the coughing back anymore, it was just so itchy, he couldn't stop himself.

"I feel so bad for letting you get sick like this, god knows what could've happened, I wish I had found you sooner but you could've literally been everywhere. I'm sorry." Had Niall just heard that right? _Sorry_?

"You didn't have to come looking for me at all, why are you apologizing? I'm so thankful really, you're the nicest person alive for sure." After just blurting that out, Niall felt himself blushing and Liam laughed softly, patting the younger boy's arm before sadly pulling away altogether unfortunately. 

"I'm just doing what's right, Niall. And I really want you to be safe and alright, okay? I-"

He was cut off by his phone going off, Niall flinched while Liam looked at the screen, furrowing his eyebrows, this got Niall scared for some reason, he didn't want to see Liam worried.

"I guess, I'll have to answer that…" Then there was a quiet sigh, but he remained seated unlike what Niall had thought, not leaving the room or even attempting to, just holding the phone to his ear, staring at something on the wall. "Hey, Louis, what-"

The voice was so loud that even Niall could hear it, every word, gripping the blanket a little tighter in fear. What kinda people were calling Liam? "LIAM, YOU BETTER BE FUCKING BULLSHITTING ME!"

"Lou, ssh, please, my ear is gonna fall-"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S NOT A CRAZY STALKER, HE COULD BE-" Niall didn't hear anymore because Liam's eyes went a little wider before he quickly turned down the volume or something, smiling at Niall but he somehow knew Liam was just trying to calm him down even if he wasn't calm himself. Somehow Niall felt like this phone call was about him, had Liam told anyone? And now that he thought about it, who the hell had those people been yesterday, had Niall only hallucinated all of that? 

"Can I please say something as well?… yeah, thanks. He's just a boy, Louis, and he needs my help, just because you're pissing your pants doesn't mean you get to yell at me like that….yes, I did, but did they only get me or both of us?…well, see that's-… no… what the hell, no, I-… alright, listen, he doesn't even know, okay? … no, I'm serious, he doesn't… well, do you really think someone would take this on them just to get into my apartment, huh? … he's ILL, Louis, really ill and I'll keep him with me no matter what you say, how'd you even find out?… great, I told him not to-… yeah, whatever…. mhm, yeah, alright, see you at my funeral too." There was no single doubt that this had been about Niall.

"What don't I know?" He blurted the question out without even thinking, this had gotten him really scared and despite his cold making him feel like shit, Niall still wanted to know and Liam knew that because he sighed deeply after hanging up, looking down at the younger boy again.

"I'll tell you, okay? But do you wanna shower first or so? And I'll make you something to eat meanwhile, is that okay?" Well, actually Niall wanted to know right NOW, but he hadn't showered in a while and even though it had been pretty cold outside and there had basically been no moment where he hadn't been freezing, showering sounded really good right now. And food too. 

"Okay…" There was another smile that made his worries fade, Niall didn't really care about what it was that he didn't know, Liam could be like, a murderer or something but he was still being nice to Niall and he wouldn't wanna leave no matter what was going on. And whoever that Louis person was that wanted Niall out of here so badly, he wasn't here after all, it was just him and Liam.

Liam offered Niall new clothes, _again_ , but the ones he had on were pretty comfortable and they still smelled nice so Niall told him no thank you which made Liam touch his shoulder slightly, smiling a little at him. Walking was a little hard but Liam came along to the bathroom before handing Niall a towel, and then he seriously looked at him and said "But don't stay under the shower for too long, okay? It's not good for you when you're ill.", as if he was his dad or something, or his big brother, yeah, no denying here, Niall kinda liked that idea a little too much even if he didn't wanna admit it to himself.

Still, he followed the advice, feeling a lot better afterwards anyway, he was still avoiding the mirrors though, only looking at his face for a few seconds, deciding that it could probably not get any worse now and just walking out into the hall again, towards the kitchen, still knowing this apartment by heart seeing as he had spent the whole week wishing he was still here, and now he actually was, can you believe that? Because Niall couldn't.

"I hope you're not vegetarian." Hell, was he really making bacon?

"No, I'm not…" Niall couldn't exactly be picky could he, but his stomach growled almost painfully now and Liam might've noticed because he looked over his shoulder shortly before bringing his attention back to the stove as Niall reached the kitchen, slowing down a bit as he wasn't so sure what to do now.

"Good. Sit down, there's some juice on the table, but I'll make you something else later, okay?" His voice sounded cheerful, Niall sat down after thanking him once again, in a way so he could still watch Liam properly, not because he was creepy but because he kinda wanted to see his tattoos a little better.

"Umm… what do those three arrows stand for? On your arm I mean…" The other things Niall could tell were words, and a feather and even if he didn't know what any of those meant either, at least he could make out what they were supposed to be.

"Oh, they're for the other boys in my band, you know." Liam shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal but Niall still thought about it for a bit, deciding that they must really like each other if he did something like this.

"What's your band called?" He didn't expect any hesitation, just playing with a napkin now when Liam suddenly came over, sharing the bacon equally between their plates, his silence lasted a little too long as he went back to the sink as well to put the pan inside, so Niall decided to try again, risking to come off as annoying. "Liam?"

"Look, Niall…" This made him listen up, had he done something wrong, was it his fault that Liam seemed so nervous all of a sudden? "That's… part of what you asked me before… I gotta tell you something and… please promise me that you'll try and not freak out, okay?"

"O-Okay…" Freak out? Niall's heart was bumping a little too fast as Liam sat down opposite of him, he had no idea what in god's name that could be, he just hoped that it wasn't something really bad or so, or that Liam was in any trouble because Niall really wanted him to be alright and happy, he was such a good person, he didn't deserve bad stuff happening to him, ever. 

"Alright, so… you know, when we walked to my car yesterday and there were those guys, right? Well… that were paparazzi." Huh? 

"But, why…" This didn't make any sense, like… 

"I should've told you already last week when you asked me what I was doing for a living but I didn't know how. And when I saw you at the park that night I thought you knew already and, well… look, the band that I'm in… it's… it's that one." None of Niall's questions had been answered as he put some magazine on the table between them, all Niall saw was some famous people and in the middle it said One Direction and there were pictures, nothing more, but…

"You… you're telling me that you're in One Direction, but I…" Shit, there was a picture of LIAM too, he wasn't lying, oh my freaking god, he really was in _that_ band, no doubts, that was him, it even said 'Liam Payne', Niall hadn't known his last name but … that changed things, a lot, all of them, freaking hell. "Oh god."

"I should've told you, I thought you were a fan at first, so that's why I asked if you wanted to take a picture. But I quickly realized that you really had no clue, and then when we watched TV and our first music video came on… I don't know, it was very clear that you wouldn't catch on. I'm sorry, Niall, really." Well, Niall was sorry too, for saying that his songs were annoying, even if he only knew like, two.

"But… " Now everything made sense, the fact that Liam had been so scared of being recognized, the fact that he was this rich at only 20 years old, damn it, Niall was sitting here having breakfast with the guy that he had probably seen on a million billboards without even realizing it or memorizing his face or name. "But why are you so nice then and why… "

"Well, why shouldn't I be nice, I'm just a normal person, you know, I'm just me. It doesn't change anything, I still want you to stay here." Now Niall knew why money was no problem, but he was still speechless like, Liam was a celebrity? Niall had always thought they would be… a little more arrogant and well, it would be strange for a normal person to just offer someone like Niall to stay with them, but the fact that Liam had done it was even more surprising now, this couldn't be for real, this had to be some dream or joke or whatever. 

"But you're really famous and … and busy and you probably have a lot to do and concerts and recording and interviews and-"

"Niall, hey, listen, okay? First of, we're on break right now and secondly, whatever I'm doing you can just come along, I mean, if you want to, you can also just stay here at the apartment and I'll give you a key for when I'm gone so you can do whatever you like." Liam shrugged, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say those things, he just started eating normally, apparently relieved for finally having the 'secret' out while Niall was fighting for his words more than ever. How was he famous, he was so normal, it didn't even fit.

"You… you would just trust me like that, I could be… god knows who and I don't want you to think that I'll rob you now or like, sell your stuff or pictures or anything, I swear, I didn't know, I would've… I shouldn't even be here, I-"

"Sh, Niall. I know that you didn't know and I know you're not gonna rob me or anything, even if that's what Louis thinks but he would change his mind if he knew you. I trust you, simple as that, and we can just act like I never told you because I'm still just me, alright?" Why was he saying this so easily, it wasn't easy, how could he trust Niall this much, he understood this guy on the phone for freaking out better than Liam for drinking his coffee peacefully as if nothing had happened, swallowing then as he looked at Niall. "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah." He just blurted it out because he did, Liam had told him all this stuff now and before he had always only done everything to help Niall, he felt like Liam was an actual angel or something, but he couldn't say that out loud, the older boy's smile alone was making him blush and caused his stomach to twist.

"Thanks. Then that's clear, you're staying here with me no matter what band I'm in. And you should eat, because it's getting cold." Without thinking about it, Niall did what he had been told, his thoughts were somewhere else though, how the hell was Liam in that band, and how hadn't Niall even known? Maybe some people might think about how he had had the greatest luck in the world but actually, it made him worry, actually, he would've preferred if Liam was just a normal guy. Although, you'd have to define 'normal' here, because none of what was happening here fit for that description.

"What about those guys yesterday? They were taking pictures, weren't they?" While Niall had looked as if he was half dead probably, well, he wasn't concerned about himself, he was just trying to think of the consequences Liam would have for being around someone like _Niall_ , what if all of this came out, what would people think about Liam, how come he wasn't as concerned as Niall?!

"Oh, right, about that, don't worry, they only got my face and not yours, you could've been anyone." Then he shrugged, just like that, getting up suddenly, as if he had remembered something that could be more important than that Niall could completely ruin him.

"But… how do you know?" He was really confused when Liam got the milk out of the fridge, but as Niall saw what he needed it for, he was really speechless. Liam was making hot chocolate for him. _Now_.

"Well, we managed to get into the newspaper. Only because none of us has been spotted lately I guess, they need new stories, so apparently I'm a douchebag for not stopping and you're actually hardly mentioned even if it looks like I'm kidnapping you, but it's better that way, I don't want them to see your face." Finally something that sounded reasonable.

"It would really make you look bad if they found out that I'm-"

"What are you saying, I don't care if they find out, I just don't want anyone to harass you, because they would if they knew who you were. I mean, you'll be seen with me at some point probably, but first of all I need my bandmates to calm down, because other than the newspaper, they were really interested in who you are." That was his only problem?!

"Haven't you told them?" And his girlfriend too, what was she gonna think if she came here and saw Niall, what would anyone think about this, he was going to panic, he already felt it, this was too much and it didn't even have anything to do anymore with Liam being famous, this was about the people in his life in general that would definitely not accept Niall, why would they?

"Well… last week while I was looking for you I kinda told Harry, he freaked out a little but he didn't think I'd find you again anyway. So when the pictures came out he probably told Louis and Zayn and they kinda figured out that I took you home, I mean, you were in my car and they're not dumb, so that makes sense. Here you go, sorry, I nearly forgot." When Liam placed the hot chocolate in front of him, Niall nearly flinched because he had forgotten about it as well, there was no way that Liam was real and that any of this was really happening.

"Thank you… I'm sorry about your friends… Louis seemed really mad." Niall was trying hard to remember their names and come off as interested, not like he could look them up or so ha, ha, wow okay… this was really weird.

"Oh, he'll get over it, I mean, he doesn't know you, he'll change his mind once you met." He wanted Niall to meet them?!

"I-I… they'll hate me, I-"

"No one could possibly hate you, Niall, don't be silly. I like you and the others are going to as well. But you don't have to meet them anytime soon if you don't want to of course." At first, he could've given Liam a list of hundred people who probably hated him, even if Niall didn't know them personally, but then he got stuck with the 'I like you' and he turned so red that he felt his ears getting hot. Did Liam really like him or was he just saying that? Probably the second, there wasn't much to like about Niall anyways, he was annoying, asking dumb questions most of the time and he ate way too much whenever Liam offered him something.

"Okay… I-I like you too…" Like, a lot, and not only because of all the stuff Liam was doing for Niall but he seemed to be a genuinely nice person and he was funny too and really understanding and caring and sweet and… yeah.

"Thank you." Their eyes met on accident, which Niall really regretted because by now his face was probably glowing for saying so many dumb things but Liam's smile got a little wider, it seemed to amuse him when the younger boy was embarrassing himself. "Can I ask you something? Do you have like, any kind of ID?"

"Umm… I got a passport…why?" Niall was a little nervous about that question, which turned out to be completely unnecessary, Liam didn't even wanna talk about the boy's past like he had thought he would, because after everything Liam was doing for him, it's not like Niall could just ignore his questions, could he? If Liam asked, Niall would have to talk, whether he liked it or not. 

"Oh, really? That's great because we got a world tour starting in a few weeks." One second.

"You… you want me to come with you?" The only reason why Niall brought it out so straight was because he had to believe that Liam was joking. Apparently not. 

"Well, yeah. You could also stay here if you want to, it would maybe get boring though and… I'd prefer if you came along because I'm a little scared you're gonna take off." This made Niall feel uncomfortable because well, he had thought about if he should really just accept Liam's offer after all, he didn't wanna stumble into someone's life like that, Liam had probably noticed the fact that Niall had never even agreed so far, just why did this get to him so much, why was he worried about how Niall might take off, shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't he be glad if he got rid of Niall without much drama? "You won't, right?"

"Well, I… I don't want to, but… it's your life and I'm just interrupting and turning everything upside down and… and you're spending money on me and even though you have enough it's still… I don't know." Niall didn't wanna be dependent on someone, he never had, but if he spent a few more days here then he would be and he felt it, getting Liam out of his mind again would be impossible, the older boy's company most of all, Niall hadn't had anyone talking to him or caring for him like that in forever, it made him feel a lot younger again, a lot more as if he actually mattered.

"You know… I could help you to get a job if that's what you want. We'll think of something, I swear, it'll be alright, just please don't run away. Promise me?" The fact that Liam nearly sounded as if he was pleading shocked Niall a little, he looked up slowly to find Liam staring at him while waiting for an answer, as if there was nothing in the world he was more serious about than this. Niall didn't even WANT to run away to begin with, so maybe he should just make Liam happy for now, it wouldn't necessarily mean that he could never change his mind about that again, once Liam got annoyed with him, he'd have to go anyways. And that day would come for sure.

"Okay. Promise." It sounded like a good idea to be honest, especially getting a job did, Niall had no idea how'd he do that though, he had no idea in general how any of this would work out but right now he just really didn't want to be on the streets again, freezing and with a cold that was nearly killing him.

"Thanks." Liam noticeably relaxed at that, flashing the younger boy another smile and making him feel really bad for not knowing whether he could really keep that promise, he wanted to, but you never knew what was going to happen, right? 

After breakfast, Niall wanted to help Liam clean the table but he was being sent off with a glass of water and told to go back to lie in either Liam's bed or the couch, watch a little TV because apparently he looked pale. Actually Niall wanted to complain even if he did feel bad, but after the second word was out, he had to cough really badly so then he didn't have much of a choice anymore but to follow Liam's almost demand. 

Niall chose the couch though, because he didn't wanna be all alone in the bedroom and maybe also a tiny little bit because he kinda hoped Liam would come and sit with him because he turned the TV on for Niall as well since the boy was too shy to do so, it would have just felt really weird, to just go ahead and do things in here. 

So while watching just anything that was on because he didn't really mind and listening to Liam going around and doing stuff, Niall got really sleepy again.This was just so calming, hearing some everyday noises and being all comfortable, not even a little bit hungry or thirsty, no one could blame Niall for letting his eyes just fall shut at some point, besides, Liam had said that resting would help, right?

No idea how much time had passed by, Niall just remembered that it got a little cold and he half woke up because of that, wrapping his arms around himself to get warmer, but then suddenly, he just stopped freezing and there was something in his hair that had him opening his eyes a little to check. "Sorry, I didn't wanna wake you, sleep on."

Liam had put a blanket over him, but what was way more surprising, he had been running his fingers through Niall's hair, even if he stopped now as the younger boy looked at him sleepily, attempting to get up. No, he couldn't do that now! "Wait…"

"What's wrong?" Niall shifted a little as far as that was possible because of his sleepiness and weakness, Liam really did seem worried now, maybe, if Niall hadn't been so bloody tired he would have just not answered out of embarrassment, but he actually looked right at Liam as he just blurted it out, not being able to stop himself.

"Stay here?… please?" It was fine if Liam didn't want to, he probably didn't, just… Niall had kinda liked having him play with his hair, he'd probably not do it again but just having someone else sitting next to him made Niall feel a lot less lonely. There was nothing he hated more than feeling lonely because he was every single day anyways.

"Oh, sure. But go back to sleep, yeah? You look tired." This made Niall nod quickly before closing his eyes again, snuggling further into the blanket, Liam's voice had been really soft, he hadn't even hesitated before answering and just because he had agreed so easily, Niall almost asked Liam if he could just talk on about anything because hearing his voice was soothing, but then he didn't dare to of course, just happy that Liam settled down again, only a few centimeters away from Niall. Maybe he didn't find him that gross after all.

Right before Niall fully drifted off, Liam suddenly started running his fingers through his hair again, really softly, almost causing Niall to sigh happily, this felt so nice, though it was just a simple gesture that didn't mean anything, it did mean a lot to Niall.

"Is this okay?" Was that a serious question?!

"Yeah…" It only came out in a mumble even if Niall was a lot more happy than that, just this little bit of affection got him feeling really sleepy within a second, causing him to fall asleep again in less than five minutes. Which probably was weird but Niall caught himself wishing he could cuddle closer into Liam, just to feel a warm body next to his because he hadn't been close to anyone in so long, plus Liam playing with his hair was really calming, as if someone was there taking care of Niall and protecting him, it was a wonderful feeling, one that Niall had almost forgotten existed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone likes this chapter, let me know what you guys think :)

_There was the sound of someone going up the stairs that nearly made Niall turn off the lights in panic, if mum found out that he was awake at a time like this she'd kill him probably. For some reason though, Niall froze with his hand over the light switcher next to the door, forgetting how to move his muscles as he slowly thought this through, eyes going wide. No one had been downstairs, they had all been asleep already before when he had come home._

_That realization caused a billion goosebumps to raise all up his arms, a shiver going through Niall's body, he didn't know how he managed to do it, but somehow he moved his fingers those few inches more, plunging himself into complete darkness before turning the key in the lock so slowly, it was almost inaudible._

_For a few minutes, nothing at all happened, actually, Niall nearly laughed at himself for being so fucking paranoid like, whatever, there had probably not even been a sound at all, it had been a really long day after, Niall should probably just go to sleep now anyways._

_As he was just about to allow himself to breathe normally again, the footsteps were suddenly there again, much closer now, causing Niall's heartbeat to speed up dramatically within half a second, it was so loud, he almost couldn't hear what was happening in the hallway. He should've done something, if someone had broken into the house, Niall should've called the police, called anyone really, or at least attempted to. But he just couldn't think of anything else right now besides that he couldn't remember whether he had locked the front door or not._

_And then his blood turned to ice as he heard screaming._

 

"Niall, hey… wake up." The sound of this voice nearly had Niall falling off the couch but somehow he didn't, all he knew right now was that he's had this dream for way too often during the past years and he always woke up out of breath, as if he had actually been there again, as if it had happened just a minute ago. "You okay? Did you have a nightmare?"

As Niall turned his head slowly, trying to breathe in normally, he saw that Liam's face was way too close to his, well it wasn't that close actually but as Niall grabbed a hold of the situation again, he realized that he hadn't only thought about cuddling up to the older boy, he had actually done it in his sleep. Well, this was more than awkward, even if Liam didn't even look grossed out or so, no, his arm was around Niall's shoulder and he seemed to be worried, nothing else, but Niall still attempted to get away, embarrassed. "Sorry for… for moving over."

To his surprise, Liam stopped him by tightening his arm before sighing, making Niall freeze by briefly brushing his finger over the bare skin on Niall's neck. "It's okay. What'd you dream? You … you mumbled some stuff and you seemed to be in pain."

"I… nothing. It was nothing, I'm fine, just a dream." Oh, how Niall wished that was true.

"Okay…" That didn't sound like someone believing Niall, but Liam had every reason to doubt his words, Niall was just looking down now, pulling the blanket up a little higher and hoping that Liam would've said something if he minded his feet on the couch, it hadn't been on purpose, apparently he did a lot of stuff in his sleep he never would even dream of while he was awake.. "You know… if you need to talk, about anything, I'm here."

Niall was shaking his head before even considering it a little bit, he didn't wanna bother Liam with his problems, it was enough already that he was even here at all. His heart was still hammering in his chest, a little from the dream, a little from feeling Liam slightly pressing into his side, his warmth through the layers of clothing. Not even talking about the arm around Niall's shoulder, why'd Liam put that there, sure, Niall really liked it but the other boy had really no reason to do something like this. "Thank you… but I'm fine."

"I know you're not." Just because it surprised Niall, he accidentally looked up, immediately meeting those brown eyes that had him blushing terribly even if they were really soft, like always. "I just wish I…. I wish I knew what happened to you."

"W-Why?" Why'd he wanna know that, no one was ever interested in Niall, Liam would probably kick him out anyway if Niall told him, it wasn't exactly a story you'd want to share, or hear. 

"Because I wanna help, I told you, I know that… that you probably got no one and… I wanna be there for you. You know, it's not right that you had to be on your own and I don't know what happened but I promise, you'll never gonna have to be again if you let me in and let me help." Niall stared at him again, simply because Liam had sounded so serious, so genuine about this that Niall's throat felt tight from how much he wanted to snuggle into those arms and cry about everything bad that had ever happened to him. Which he couldn't do of course, Liam wouldn't like that, he was just trying to be nice, nothing more.

"B-But… you've already helped me so much and I… I d-don't think you'd w-want to know I-I…" Out of instinct, Niall turned closer into Liam, lowering his eyes again and almost putting his head onto the other's shoulder as Liam slowly started rubbing his.

"I do wanna know, Niall, really. But you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, just whenever. I'll listen and I would never judge you for anything." Did he really mean it? Niall couldn't check for his face because he was too scared and nearly ripping the blanket now, trying to scoot a little closer without Liam noticing. But he did notice it anyways. "You need a cuddle?"

"I-"

The thing was that when Liam suddenly wrapped his second arm around Niall as well and tightened both of them before resting his cheek on the younger's head, Niall didn't even need three seconds of tensing up before already snuggling up against Liam, he just couldn't resist because Liam was really warm and he smelled good too, no one could blame him for doing this. "If you want me to let you go, just tell me."

"I don't…" Preferably never again because Liam also didn't mind Niall's arm around his stomach or Niall's face buried in his shoulder, trying hard to hold back tears now because this was so unexpected yet it felt so good.

"Good." It sounded like Liam meant it, he was still stroking Niall's shoulder softly, never loosening his grip or even attempting to, warming Niall up better than any blanket could have ever done.

For as long as they stayed like this, it was absolutely overwhelming, Niall really liked Liam a lot and having him taking care of him like this made him feel really safe. No on ever hugged him, or even brushed him without a disgusted face actually, so this made it a hundred times better, plus, Liam gave like really good cuddles, he looked so strong, as if no one could ever hurt Niall again if Liam was there holding and protecting him. Niall was in love with all these feelings he got from those touches and from being so close to someone else.

"Do you feel any better by the way? I wanted to give you the pills again but I didn't wanna wake you up." He was so nice it made Niall tear up, he really liked to feel Liam's cheek against his head too, as if they were friends or something.

"I'm feeling a lot better now… I think I'll be fine again tomorrow." Hopefully, because Niall felt like an even bigger bother while being ill, maybe Liam felt forced to keep Niall here because of that, maybe he had only taken him here because he had thought Niall would die otherwise and then Liam would've forever felt guilty or something. 

"I hope so. Maybe you should still take it easy tomorrow though, but once you're all healthy again, we should go and buy you some clothes I think, mine are pretty big on you." This had Niall lifting his head without thinking, just so he could stare at Liam and check if he had really meant it, but he was being dead serious apparently, just confused by the look he could from the younger boy. "What?"

"I-I just… you shouldn't… spend so much money on me and in general I mean…you're so nice and I don't even deserve it…" Like, it had all been Niall's fault, everything, Liam just didn't know that yet, maybe he never would.

"I'm not spending a lot of money on you and you do deserve someone being nice to you and being there, so I'll be exactly that. Don't worry so much about everything, Nialler." He froze completely at the last word, it had been years since someone had called Niall his actual name, but even longer since someone had used his nickname, Niall had literally no idea how Liam had come up with that, he was also too shocked to care, just freezing up completely, which of course, Liam noticed very quickly, his face going all confused. "Did I say anything wrong?"

"I… I g-gotta…" How should Niall explain to him that his whole self control just broke down at such a little word? His mum had always called him that, he had wished so dearly to hear it just one more time, but now that he had, he couldn't take i. "I-I… I n-need to be a-alone… s-sorry…" 

"Niall, what's wrong?" Liam seemed to be panicked as Niall jumped up all of a sudden, out of his arms, being hit by coldness immediately as the blanket slipped as well before Liam could do as much as move a muscle.

"N-Nothing… s-sorry…" There were tears about to spill over that Niall didn't want Liam to see, he had so many flashbacks all of a sudden, he didn't even know whether it was really him who just turned their back on the only person who had been nice to him after everything that had happened, all Niall knew was that his sight got so blurry, he almost didn't make it to the guest room. Even though he had slept in Liam's room last night, he didn't exactly wanna keep him from going to his own bedroom just because Niall was getting nostalgic.

Also, he didn't smash the door because he felt like this would just go one step too far, actually, Niall should've probably just left the apartment altogether, but he wasn't even wearing proper clothes and also, as he sat leaned against the door to keep it shut trying to drown his sobs by biting into his hand, it was too late to switch places. "Niall… I'm sorry for whatever I said… can we talk?"

This was so wrong, what was Niall even thinking, hiding in Liam's own place, it was so rude but he couldn't even take a proper breath without letting a sound escape, now Liam would kick him out for sure after this, he'd have every right to as well. There was an image stuck in Niall's head that wouldn't leave no matter how tightly he pressed his eyes shut or dug his fingernails into his arm. It was of his mother kissing his forehead, telling Niall to not come home too late because it was a school night, only that in that moment, Niall hadn't exactly thought it would be the last time she ever spoke to him. "I-I c-can't…"

"Is it my fault? I'm really sorry, Niall. Do you want me to leave you alone?" The thing was, Liam didn't even try to come inside, Niall could hear his voice very clearly through the door though and he dare saying it sounded painfully worried. But why would he, the only thing Liam should worried about was having a kid in his place that had completely lost his mind and not being able to do anything about it.

"P-Please…" Niall choked out, he felt so bad, he wanted to die on the spot, sure, Liam was nice and the cuddling and everything he had said before had made Niall feel a lot better. Just so now he could be at an absolute low again.

"Okay, I… I'm there if you need me, okay?" Liam probably wanted an answer to that but Niall simply couldn't give him one because he was busy lying down on the floor sideways to curl up into a ball, it hurt a little less like this, if he held himself tightly, almost as if to keep himself from falling apart while he cried.

No idea how long he stayed in that position after Liam walked away, at some point Niall moved to the bed though, which also made him realize that it must've been where Liam had spent the night because, and Niall was terribly embarrassed to take notice of this, it smelled exactly like the older boy and it was completely messed up as well.

Why'd he have to call Niall that stupid nickname anyway? How the hell had he come up with it all by himself, he had said it so smooth as well, as if it was Niall's actual name!

Niall had no idea what he was actually doing here, he couldn't expect Liam to really mean it, that Niall was allowed to stay, that Liam _wanted_ him to, this was literally insane, no one picked a kid up from the streets, especially not with a life that Liam had, wasn't he scared Niall would go and rob him or go and sell his stuff or Niall didn't even know what some crazy fan would do if they were in his place because he wasn't exactly planning on any of these things. But then again, who'd he tell anyway? Who'd believe him? Niall didn't know a single person in this whole country besides Liam.

Realizing that made him calm down a little, even if it wasn't something to be exactly proud of, but he wouldn't find anyone else who'd be this nice to him, he was just scared of getting too attached and then get thrown out, don't get him wrong, Liam was great and Niall wouldn't accuse him of being this heartless, it's just… he'd understand if he got kicked out, simply because no one else had wanted him either, it's what he had gotten used to.

As Niall got out of bed, wiping his stinging eyes a little bit to maybe look more normal again, he just sat there for a second, thinking about the best way to apologize for his misbehavior, he didn't like the fact that it was storming outside now, it was really creepy, so finding Liam right now would embarrass him in more than just one way.

When Niall slipped out into the hallway however, there was no light on, his heart started beating faster immediately, it took him a few seconds to actually being able to move his feet again and go check in the living room. But it was dark there as well and looking out of the big windows, it was already nighttime. Plus it felt like the glass could burst any second judging from how hard the rain was hammering against it, but Niall walked closer anyway, until he was able to look down.

It was an incredible view, he had noticed this a week ago as well, he had just never actually taken a look before. Seeing all this made him really sad, he'd be down there somewhere right now, probably half dead if Liam hadn't found him and rescued him, given him a place to stay.

Because of being in the guest room for so long, Niall hadn't eaten in a while so his stomach growling nearly made him flinch even if it was somehow a familiar feeling as well, now how sad was that? Finding comfort in something like this because it's been what he had gotten used to during the past few years, none of this should've ever happened, if he had just turned that key around all this time ago. "I'm sorry…"

The glass got dusty as Niall spoke to no one in particular, taking a step back immediately, he was completely losing it now, talking to nobody, he tore himself away from the sight over London, half stumbling back into the hallway because of it being so dark.

Right in front of Liam's room though, Niall hesitated but forced himself to knock anyway, he had to get this over with, he wouldn't be able to go to sleep without apologizing and maybe also a little bit because he was scared as shit. Only a little bit though, promise.

It wasn't dark in Liam's room because the bedside lap was still on but other than that, Liam was deep asleep, half covered with the blanket, his phone dropped next to him on the bed, immediately giving Niall half of a heart attack.

Liam was wearing a shirt this time but Niall still mindlessly stared at the sleeping boy for a second, which was very creepy and weird but he couldn't help it, he wished nothing more than for Liam to hug him again like before he had run away like a complete idiot. Also, Liam finally looked his age while being asleep like this, or maybe it was because he had shaved a bit, either way he looked really good and Niall's stomach twisted into knots at having thoughts like this. "L-Liam?"

"Hmmm…?" He didn't actually wake up, just moved to his back, nearly making Niall walk right out of the door again that he had closed behind himself, but then he stayed there anyways, still staring. 

"I… I'm sorry, Liam. Are you awake?" Well, very obviously not but as Niall talked on, Liam's eyes fluttered open slowly and he yawned, running a hand through his hair before half propping himself up on his elbow, making Niall blush for randomly being in here. 

"You okay? What's wrong, Niall?" Everything.

"I just… wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for behaving like this before and… yeah…Sorry for waking you up…" Niall was playing with his fingers now, shrugging slightly, feeling guilty both for waking him but also because for some reason, Liam sounded worried yet again.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. Are you okay again?" His voice was a little slower than usually and a little deeper too, probably because he was sleepy.

Before Niall could answer, there was a really loud thunder outside and he bumped into the door from flinching so hard, this was not going well at all, how embarrassing could a day actually get? "Y-Yeah… I'll… I'll let you sleep n-now…" 

"Hey, Niall… wait." There was a sigh, not an annoyed one though, it sounded somehow different but Niall didn't know because he refused to look at Liam, more busy with not tearing the shirt up that he was wearing from how hard he was twisting it in his fingers. But what Liam said next then had Niall's head snap and stare right at Liam in less than a second, shocked. "Do you wanna sleep here?"

"W-What? No, I… I-I'm fine, I-"

"Actually I meant, can you _please_ sleep here. I don't like thunderstorms," Now that was even more confusing, also the slight smile playing around Liam's lips didn't exactly match what he had been saying, fact was that he pet the empty side of the bed. "Please?"

Who could say no to that, seriously, Niall really wanted to as well because he was like, really scared to go back into an empty room all by himself, you'd think after experiencing thunderstorms so many times while not being able to hide somewhere, Niall should be used to them by now, but the truth was, he was almost shitting his pants every single time, just like now, as he walked around Liam's bed with his knees nearly giving in as he realized how small the free space next to Liam was.

"It's fine, come on. It'll be better to not be alone when it's this loud." That was true, however Niall was still a little shy to get under the blanket as Liam held it open for him, luckily he had two of them or that would've been even more awkward. "I'll turn the lights off, okay?"

"Okay…" Actually, Niall would've preferred them on right now, but at least Liam wouldn't see how blushed he was then, or how he was still shaking slightly, allowing himself to lie down once the other boy had plunged them into complete darkness, shifting around next to Niall while he decided that it would be best to turn his back on Liam, would make things less awkward maybe. Or maybe not.

For a bit, Niall thought that Liam had slept right back in, but then he heard the boy's voice again, it was only a whisper though. "Hey… because of before… would you tell me what I did? I don't wanna upset you again, I feel really bad about it."

Oh god why was HE feeling bad?! Now Niall had no choice but to tell him, it made him sigh slightly before he pressed his eyes shut tightly, hoping that he wouldn't start crying again. "It wasn't your fault, it's just… you… you called me by my nickname, that's all… just… usually my m-mum used it…sorry…" 

And there went all of Niall's self control, the tears just spilled over quietly as Liam let out a surprised noise, moving again even though Niall couldn't hear it that well after all, it was still very loud outside. "I'm really sorry, I won't do it again, I promise."

"N-No… it's f-fine… j-just took me by s-surprise…" His throat was so tight that Niall's voice sounded all weird and scratchy, but he was really glad that at least he wasn't sobbing loudly into his second pillow that he had clenched his fingers around.

"Niall… are you crying?!" Liam had been present while Niall had been bawling before but this was still rather awkward and very embarrassing as well, Niall couldn't even lie because his voice would've given him right away so he stayed silent instead, hoping that Liam would just let it drop because Niall wasn't so sure when he'd be able to calm down again, he was so fucking stupid and such a freaking baby as well. "I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have started again, sorry, Niall. I promise we don't have to talk about it anymore, please stop crying." 

"I'm f-fine…" Niall just pressed my eyes shut tighter in an attempt to try and force the tears back into his body, which obviously couldn't work, he wasn't even that sad actually, he was just pretty emotional. And stupid.

"Hey… I know that things maybe suck right now, but we'll find a solution for everything, okay? I promise I'm not gonna leave you alone again, and even if you maybe don't believe me that I really wanna have you here, but I really do and if you'd ever just take off, I'd go looking for you again until I've found you. You don't deserve any of the bad things that've happened, I'll help you fix this, I promise." If his words hadn't been enough to surprise Niall, feeling him moving closer definitely did.

Not a sound was coming out of his mouth now as he felt Liam moving his blanket around a bit, suddenly slipping his hand underneath, causing the younger boy to freeze when Liam touched him, not like, inappropriately or so, even if Niall did get scared for just a second, but Liam's arm just wrapped around his waist carefully so he could gently stroke his thumb across Niall's elbow before leaving his fingers resting against his skin. 

"Is this okay?" Even though he was talking rather quietly, Niall could still hear him a lot closer than before, also having his arm and fingers touching him distracted Niall quite a bit, he was pretty sure that if Liam moved just a little bit closer he'd feel him pressed up right against his back. 

"Y-Yeah…" This was nice actually, Niall had yet to figure what he thought about it though because he had never slept like this with another person before, but it felt a lot safer and less lonely, he found himself wanting to move back a little to feel Liam closer, not that he'd actually do that though.

"Okay… are you better again? Do you think you can sleep?" Well, after Liam getting so close, Niall had been distracted enough as to stop crying, he would've wiped his wet cheeks too but that would've meant that he'd have to move his arm and then Liam would stop touching it so better not.

"Yeah… I'm good, thank you…" No idea for what exactly, but he was thankful for literally everything Liam was doing, also for lying to make Niall feel better about slipping into bed next to him so he wouldn't have to be alone. "Hey, Liam… you're not really scared of thunderstorms, are you?"

There was a quiet sound, Niall thought it was soft laughter at first, but then suddenly, he felt something pressing against the back of his head shortly, nearly choking as he realized that it had been Liam's lips placing a kiss there. "No, I'm not. You just looked a tiny bit scared, but no worries, I'm keeping you safe, Niall, you don't have to be alone anymore, you got me now."

This made Niall feel a little bit warmer.

 

——————

 

The thing was, Niall woke up exactly this way again, only that now Liam's arm was a lot tighter and he nearly kicked the older boy as he realized that somehow his hand had ended up in Liam's, not like, as if they were holding on but they were touching so Niall quickly pulled back a little too fast, which caused Liam to stir slightly, not leaving Niall much room to move to. Not that he wanted to actually, after lying there for a few seconds, he came to enjoy it a lot more than he should've. It's just, the rain had turned to only drizzle now, it was warm in the bed and under the blanket, Liam was breathing evenly behind Niall and his arm around the younger boy made him feel as if Liam wanted to actually have him here.

After contemplating whether to turn around or not, Niall just attempted to without thinking this through, he somehow thought Liam's arm was too tight anyway but somehow he managed to do it, nearly backing away to the edge of the bed as he realized how close their faces were now because of this. If Niall would've accidentally scooted over just a little bit, he would've been able to snuggle his head into the crook of Liam's neck. Not that he'd do that on on pure purpose of course, just maybe he had moved in his sleep, like, who knows, Liam maybe didn't mind and Niall had really liked being so close yesterday, it was as if just everything bad disappeared whenever he was hugging Liam.

So that was part of the reason why Niall went ahead with his more than stupid idea, the other reason was that he thought Liam was asleep anyway and that Niall was way too tired as to judge the situation or be aware of the consequences. And besides that, he didn't move THAT close, just, close enough to get a quiet laugh for it that had him freezing up immediately. Shit, Liam was awake?! "Cuddly, are we?"

"I j-just-"

"Sh, come here." Coldness hit Niall as soon as Liam threw the boy's blanket back just to wrap him up into warmth when he pulled Niall under his own, so close this time, Niall felt his knee bumping against Liam's softly, the older's arm was still around him as well, even tighter now to keep him close. Niall felt like his heart would stop any second. "You know, I don't mind it. Not at all actually." 

"Really?" He couldn't help but blurt out with his question, hardly being able to look at Liam because of the lack of distance, Niall couldn't understand how he sounded so cheerful, who'd wanna cuddle with a kid they had picked up from the streets, Niall should've just stayed under his own blanket. Well, it wasn't even HIS blanket to begin with.

"Of course not. Whenever you need a hug, I'm here for you." Then Liam laughed quietly and Niall quickly made sure not to meet his eyes, he stared at Liam's shirt instead, trying not to choke when a hand moved up and down between his shoulder blades gently. Liam's chest was moving against Niall's after he shifted just one centimeter, if Niall hadn't been so damn fucking nervous and anxious, he would've enjoyed the hell out of this right now. "Niall, calm down, it's okay, I promise."

"I just… I… I wouldn't wanna be so close to me if I were you, I mean… I'm gross and-"

"What are you even talking about? You're not even close to gross, why would you say that? I think you're really cute." Oh god, good thing Niall wasn't looking at Liam right now, his cheeks were on fire. "And I really mean it, come here."

With that, Liam pulled him even closer, so that Niall had no choice but to adjust and snuggle up against him as Liam tugged his chin over Niall's head, letting him press his face against the older boy's neck, he still smelled really nice, it almost made Niall dizzy, and he was so warm as well, it was wonderful to be held in general, but this tightly was even better, surely, there was no other person in the world whose cuddles were this phenomenal.

"Are you okay?" Maybe Liam asked because Niall's breath hitched a little, well, he'd like to see anyone else staying calm while having Liam's fingers playing with their hair, occasionally also caressing their back, as if he actually liked Niall.

"Yeah… I… thanks for… for this." He probably just wanted to make Niall feel better, who knows, not like he actually cared about the reason, Niall just enjoyed it while it lasted and while he didn't have to be alone or cold or scared.

"Anytime, no need to thank me. You feeling better today?" Actually a lot better, he was still sleepy though, but that probably came from being so comfortable right now that he never wanted to move again.

"Yes… I think I'm good again." Thanks to Liam, maybe a bit to the medicine as well, but it had mostly been Liam for sure. 

The way his body moved against Niall's as he laughed softly caused the younger boy to smile slightly against his shirt, he nuzzled his face a little tighter against Liam, just because he could, nearly thinking that Liam was mad at him for doing it when he shoved his hand between them, but it was just so that he could press his palm up against Niall's forehead shortly. "You're not hot anymore, that's good… Hey, why don't we go and get you some stuff later?"

"Stuff?" Niall did remember what Liam had said about how he would buy him clothes, he had just forgotten about it until now because he hadn't actually thought that it was possible that Liam was THIS nice.

"Yeah, like clothes and stuff. I mean, you can wear mine as well, they're just not your size and I just thought well, since you're staying here, you should get your own things, don't you think." Now Niall did pull back, with a dropped jaw, being met by only a soft smile, and a finger brushing the back of his neck.

"I-I'm s-staying?" It hadn't even been a question, of course Niall knew that Liam had offered it, multiple times, but… he hadn't really let it fully sink in yet, also hadn't made up his mind yet, just constantly living in fear that Liam would stop being this extremely wonderful. Obviously, he was just getting started though. 

"Of course you are staying with me. So now, what do you want for breakfast?" And just like that, he pressed a kiss against Niall's forehead before slowly letting go of him to sit up while Niall had no idea what to even think or say right now, all he knew was that it was cold without Liam in bed, his mind completely emptied from everything that was happening right now. "Let's just go and see."

"O-Okay…" So Niall took Liam's hands without thinking as he got to his feet, pulling the younger boy up with him as if he weighed exactly nothing. Well, he probably didn't to Liam, because that boy was so strong and also… Niall wouldn't have minded if they would've held hands for a little bit longer. He really liked him too much already.

Liam was in such a good mood that it seemed impossible for Niall to drown in worries like he felt like doing actually, but he got to choose what they had for breakfast even though he told Liam twelve times that he didn't mind but Liam somehow insisted on it before telling him to just sit down because he got it. And from there on, he just talked about random stuff with Niall, it was really nice and he found himself enjoying it, like, he liked listening to Liam talking, he told Niall about some interview he had messed up in and about how he missed his dog because it lived with his sister, almost as if Niall was just a friend coming over to hang out. The best part was that Liam didn't expect him to talk about himself as well, he was simply happy if Niall gave him some answers, not minding though whenever he didn't get one. Which happened whenever Niall noticed how long he had been staring at the older one mindlessly for laughing or smiling, while biting his lip unintentionally, it really made Niall wonder how anyone could be so carefree around him.

When they were done with breakfast, Liam had a shower, telling Niall to go take any clothes that he wanted from his closet, truth was, Niall just sat on the bed and looked at all the awards on Liam's shelf, thinking about how badly he'd have to pay for getting this extremely lucky, it's not that he was after Liam's money or whatever, it's just, anybody else wouldn't have been able to offer him to stay just like that, and while being this extremely amazing person at the same time. This was literally insane.

"You haven't even opened the closet." Niall's head turned automatically as he heard Liam's voice, not expecting him to only wear jeans though, that quickly made him look somewhere else again. Wow, he really wondered how many times a week that boy worked out to look like this. 

"I was just… umm… I didn't wanna… go through your stuff." Which was true, also, what if he took exactly the clothes that Liam had wanted to wear today?

"I gave you permission though, so from now on, you just go ahead, okay?" Nodding, Niall thought about how he would never do that anyways, not in a million years. "Alright, now let's see…"

When he got down a little to look through his clothes, his jeans slipped down even further than they already had been, giving Niall a very good sight on his boxer shorts, he didn't want to look, promise, it just kinda happened and he got to pay for it with a very hot face. So Niall quickly got to his feet as well, walking a little closer to maybe concentrate on what Liam was saying instead of his lower half.

"Hmm… this is hard." Now that was confusing, but Niall hardly got to think about it while being this close to Liam, well, close as in, standing one meter apart, just so we're clear.

"Why?" It was surprising that he wasn't commenting on how Niall almost choked while asking.

"Because in case we get spotted and you're wearing one of my shirts then that's gonna lead everyone to assumptions. It's not that I care what people think about it, it just would mean that from now on, you'll always be associated with me." Niall still didn't get it, well, that would suck if Liam wanted to throw him out, but he wasn't planning on, right? At least Niall hoped so, not anytime soon, he really wanted to stay here, he just had to find a good excuse for himself to accept that.

"But I don't mind." What could happen?

"Well, but I do, I just don't want anyone asking you uncomfortable questions, you know, I mean… well, I have a girlfriend and stuff so…" Oh, that's what he meant, to be honest, Niall had already forgotten about Liam's girlfriend, he wondered what she thought about all this, though the look on Liam's face told him that she had not a single clue. But what if she came over and Niall was there?!

"I… I can imagine she doesn't… like me being here." They were dating after all and it's not like Niall was trying to get them to break up, the situation was really far from that, he just assumed that she'd like to know about what Liam was doing.

"That would require that I told her." Maybe Niall went a little too pale at this, because when Liam checked, his face immediately got softer, there was even a smile tugging on his lips. "But no worries, okay? She'll like you as well and now I'll see if I can find any plain shirts. It sucks that I gave Zayn back his after he left it, his clothes are much smaller than mine."

"But… how'd anyone be able to tell it's your shirt? They can't know every single one of yours." Because that would just be insane, wouldn't it?

"You'd be surprised. If you change your mind about this, you know, I'll give you money and you go alone, or I'll ask one of my friends to go with you. I'd understand if you didn't want any pictures taken of you again in case we get spotted." Niall nearly panicked at this, he couldn't go with anyone besides Liam, he didn't know whether he could trust anyone else, or even worse, going alone, no fucking way.

"I don't mind at all, I want you to come." Maybe it came out a little too fast, and too panicked maybe as well, Niall was just really scared that Liam would leave him by himself.

"Alright. Here you go." Liam was smiling again, he somehow looked a little amused, maybe by how obviously desperate Niall was for him to come instead of calling someone else or going by himself, even if it didn't seem like he was making fun of Niall, he even ruffled his hair softly after handing over a black shirt, making Niall's breathing hitch a little. He should've gotten used to the touches by now, he just always was so shocked all over again about the fact that Liam wasn't grossed out or that he made it seem as if it was no big deal, as if he had been doing this for years already. "You okay? I'll be in the living room when you're done, okay?"

"Okay… thank you." It took everything in Niall he had to walk away from Liam and over to the bathroom, why was everything Liam did or said so mind blowing for him, that was really distracting.

Once he was done with showering and had changed into Liam's shirt, that of course was still too big plus his own jeans that actually looked quite normal besides the few rips, Niall's appearance probably didn't even come close to the ones of people Liam was usually hanging out with. Niall knew Liam wasn't worried at all about that in case something happened, it's just, Niall was a little worried about ruining the boy's reputation or something. 

"You know what, those jeans actually look like they're supposed to look like this." Liam was smiling at him once Niall came back into the living room, immediately getting up, as if he was excited about this, as if it wasn't a complete bother.

"Well, I… I'm not so sure about that…" Even though Liam had sounded somehow serious, it was probably just to cheer Niall up, he didn't need to be cheered up though, he was just really nervous when Liam put on his shoes.

"You should see Harry's." No idea what he meant by that however it made him laugh, Niall tried not to stare too obviously once again, rather biting his thumbnail while he waited, again being reminded that he had yet to meet Liam's bandmates. And he really didn't want to, they probably were really nice people, Niall just didn't want to be in the same room as them. "Hey, Niall, are you okay? You don't have to be nervous, just stay by my side, alright? There's probably nothing going to happen anyway, just a few fans." 

He sticked to nodding because he had noticed Liam looking at him, plus the way the older boy suddenly held Niall's wrist to pull his hand away from his mouth, it felt as if his skin was being burned, in a not so unpleasant way. "O-Okay… I just… w-well… what if anyone asks… who I am?"

"Well, we're just gonna tell them the truth." What?! Head shooting up immediately at this, Niall froze on the spot even though Liam had opened the front door, he didn't notice Niall's eyes on him though, or how shocked he was, because he was busy with his phone. "That you're my friend." 

"Oh…" Really? THAT was the truth? 

"What did you think, silly?" And then he just laughed at Niall's eyes going wide, he thought of Niall as his _friend_? "Come on, we'll have to drive for a bit."

"You're driving?" Hm, somehow Niall hadn't expected this, but after what Liam had said before Niall was feeling a lot better, like, it had just come out like that, easily, as if it wasn't a big thing, as if it was the truth.

"Well, yeah. Why?" The question amused Liam apparently, Niall tried not to bump into him as they walked down the hallway, on the other hand, he also didn't like too much distance between them, it was complicated.

"I just… I thought because you're umm… I don't know, I didn't know you drive yourself places." Liam didn't fit into the celebrity image Niall had, that's all, if Liam hadn't told him, Niall would've still not have figured it out yet. Somehow he'd prefer if Liam wasn't famous, it wouldn't make him feel this extremely awkward, but then again, probably none of this would've happened if he was just a normal guy at age 20.

"It's not like that when you're famous, Niall, I'm not the Queen or something. Besides, I like driving and I'm still a normal person, I'd like to keep it that way." Liam just shrugged, nearly catching Niall staring at his profile once again, he seriously needed to stop being this creepy.

"You seem quite normal to me." Apart from the fact that he had taken a random kid to live at his place, but that was another topic.

"I'm glad." Then he laughed again, quietly though, but it still sounded beautiful to Niall, the mirror in the elevator they were in now kinda helped him with his staring problem as well so he didn't have to blush too hard over his thoughts. 

Liam calmed his nerves a little by telling Niall that his car was down in the garage, so they wouldn't even be out in public immediately which kinda made Niall feel better, he really was nervous about this, what if he lost Liam? He'd never find back here, all his stuff was here and besides… he really wanted to stay with Liam.

"See, I'll even let you sit in the passenger seat." Now that Niall saw the car clearly, because last time he had been… about to pass out, he was very anxious about getting inside, what if he broke anything or made it dirty and got Liam mad?!

"Why wouldn't you?" Did it really matter where Niall was sitting, and why was Liam amused by everything Niall said all of the time, maybe it was his shaky voice or the fact that he was running around with a burning face every few seconds.

"No offense, but you kinda look a little younger than you are." Niall rolled his eyes at this without thinking, but Liam noticed anyways, chuckling over the younger boy's reaction and unexpectedly throwing his arm around his shoulders loosely, not making Niall flinch this time, actually, it was a welcome excuse to walk closer by Liam's side since Niall didn't like garages at all. "When I first saw you, I thought you were fourteen at maximum."

"Thanks for that." It was very hard to even play mad at Liam, but he rubbed Niall's shoulder shortly before letting go as they reached his car, walking over to the driver's seat after locking up. How'd he manage to move this smoothly?

"Sorry, Ni." The way he just came up with a new nickname was weird, Niall was just glad it wasn't the other one again though, this one caused the corners of his mouth to twitch, he liked when Liam treated him like that, as if they had known each other for ages.

Niall soon realized that going on a drive with Liam was not bad at all, actually it was really nice because he let him handle the radio even if at first Niall was a bit too shy as to do so but later on, after Liam had just continued to talk about stuff normally, Niall started to feel a lot more comfortable, it's like, Liam was the only person in such a long time that he somehow felt he could maybe trust, that maybe the older boy really cared about him in some way and that this would turn out good after all.

 

—————

 

"I got one more thing to do in here before we can leave." Well, it's not like Liam hadn't already gotten him enough stuff, Niall had told him no to literally everything in the beginning but it's like, he could've spared his breath because Liam just went along to buy it anyway. Now Niall had enough clothes for the rest of his whole life probably, even if Liam had said, and that was a quote, 'Actually, now that we know your clothing sizes we should just order the rest online, we've met more fans in here than I would've liked.', what did he mean with, the REST?

"What thing?" Hopefully this one wasn't for Niall as well, but knowing Liam by now it probably was. Niall tried really hard not to make their arms brush but sometimes it just happened accidentally, it's just, he was absolutely terrified of getting lost in here, they were really far away from the apartment.

"You'll see." The smirk he threw at Niall nearly caused him to stumble into some man walking by but Liam kept him from losing his coordination by wrapping his free arm around Niall's shoulders once more, he was even refusing to letting the younger boy carrying any bags. "It's a surprise."

"All of this is a surprise…" Like really, Niall hadn't thought he'd really do this, but Liam had been so nice all the time, maybe there had been a little worry in his eyes at some point in the beginning that Niall hadn't been able to make any sense of until he had found the courage to ask. But when Liam had shaken his head slowly and sighed, 'You're so skinny', it was not really the answer Niall had expected. Why'd that worry Liam anyway?

"Why? It's not even that big of a deal, I just want you to be okay, alright?" As Liam squeezed Niall a bit, grinning down widely at him, he managed a small smile, really happy right now actually, he felt good with Liam by his side, even if the fans creeped him out a little bit. Especially when they talked to Niall himself, he had had to tell so many people that he was Liam's friend today, it almost made him believe himself.

"Thank you… hey, Liam…" Speaking while Liam was holding him was really hard, but Niall actually wouldn't wanna have it any other way now that he had somewhat gotten use to this.

"What's wrong?" Since Liam was guiding him through the mall, Niall didn't watch his step too much, which meant more time to look up at Liam, breathing in sometimes because he somehow smelled familiar already.

"Would you mind if I… if I go and use the toilet?" Niall only realized that he really needed to go when he had started thinking about how long the way back to the car would be, usually he wouldn't have asked, since he was scared of annoying Liam, but he really had to go.

"Of course not, actually… I got a really good idea." When Liam stopped them, Niall was a little worried, even if the older's face looked really excited, his hand remaining on Niall's shoulder. "It would be a much better surprise if you wouldn't come to pick it up, what if you go to the restrooms and I'll give you my car keys and we'll meet there? Unless you don't wanna be alone." 

"No, it's… it's alright, we can do that." The slight feeling of panic was forgotten as he looked into Liam's eyes, why would Niall be such a baby, he had managed to be on his own for years, besides, Liam was giving him the car keys, there was no way he just wanted to get rid of Niall and leave without him in the end, that's not who he was to begin with.

"Good. You remember where the car is, right?" Nodding, Niall actually thought about if he really knew it, he supposed he did, hopefully. "Alright, here. I'll be really quick, I promise, I might even be there before you." 

"It's okay, I'll be fine." Most likely, Niall's heart was bumping a bit too fast, but he still managed a smile at Liam as the other's face lit up a little.

"Okay, see you in a sec." What he did then was nearly causing Niall's breath to stop, Liam let go of him, yeah, that's what he had expected since he was about to walk away, but instead of doing so, Liam stepped a little closer, until he could _kiss_ Niall's forehead, in PUBLIC. "Take care."

"O-Okay…" Wow, Niall would've never thought he'd do something like this, it was so nice yet so unexpected and just… why? If he wouldn't have turned on the spot to walk into the complete other direction, Liam would've probably been really confused by Niall's face, because hell, his emotions were driving him insane right now.

Liam had just done it like that, as if it was an every day thing, he hadn't even hesitated or looked disgusted or so, no, just a plain and simple peck on Niall's forehead. No one had done that, in fucking forever, not even when… when he had still been with his family, because he had felt too old for stuff like this, but being with Liam now… Niall somehow liked feeling a little younger again, and the idea of Liam looking out for him, treating him as if he was a child half of the time caused warmth to spread in Niall's stomach.

Everything went like plan, even if Niall still felt a tad weird to be walking around like a normal human being, not getting any stares, at least none by disgusted parents telling their kids to not look at him, or people yelling after him that they'd call the police. It was actually funny, how much clean clothes, a normal appearance and maybe some car keys in his hands that he held onto too tightly could do to how people reacted towards him. Niall had been in here numerous times, just never while feeling like it was actually alright to be in here, some security guard made him flinch, somehow Niall thought the man could remember the last time he had thrown Niall out, but when their eyes met accidentally, he just seemed a little confused, nothing more and Niall allowed himself to half smile after this. 

Of course he found the toilets pretty quickly, since he knew them, so he was on his way back to the parking lot just a few minutes later, playing with the keys a little, really proud that Liam had trusted him with something this important, it's not like Niall could drive off or so, he had no idea how to drive, but Liam didn't know that after all.

Let's say, if Niall had just made his way to the car then he would've stayed in this happy mood and maybe even been a little excited about this surprise, sadly though, it didn't go this smoothly.

"Hey, wait!" At first, Niall just carried on walking, like, why would some girls wanna talk to him or tell him to wait up for them, they surely meant someone else. But then they kinda made it really obvious, by whispering a little too loud while walking a little too close to Niall. "What's his name again… Niall? Go on just call for him, just ask!"

"Niall!" So he nearly stumbled into a dustbin, NEARLY, though the only thing he worried about was not holding onto Liam's keys tightly enough, but he did luckily, a moment of relief washed through Niall despite the fact that a group of teenage girls was manically giggling right next to him.

"Y-Yes?" Niall didn't know what to say, really, he was so nervous and it's not like he didn't catch on what this was about, but he blushed so terribly that he still got embarrassed, regretting that he had actually answered when they had asked him his name before. But Niall had been with Liam then and he knew how to handle girls like those ones, but now, Niall was all on his own, and more than terrified.

"Oh, look, you got him all shy, just ask, go on!"

"No, you!"

"Why me?!"

"Fine I'll do it." Did they really think Niall couldn't hear them, maybe he would've gotten mad about their ignorance, if he hadn't been about to empty his stomach, or if his feet wouldn't have felt like he'd never be able to use them again, what was he supposed to do?! Run? Hide? Cry? "Hey, we were just wondering… if you'd tell us where Liam went? We promise we won't tell anybody, we just want one picture, please?"

"B-But I… I d-don't know." Which wasn't a lie, for the record, though Niall wished he knew where the boy had gone so he could've sprinted there and hid behind him, but he was just standing there awkwardly now, with like, six girls, trying not to make his thumb bleed accidentally because of how hard he was biting at the skin.

"But you're one of his friends, right? Is he still here?" This was too much, Niall didn't know what Liam would have expected him to say like, should he lie or not, but what if they found Liam and he'd be mad at Niall then?!

"I-I don't… I just…" Yeah, just what?

They were still all whispering with each other, giggling sometimes, and if anything, Niall felt like there were even more girls than before, maybe guys too, it's not like that really mattered anymore, he felt like someone even had their handy camera on. "Are you sure he's Liam's friend? He looks so young."

"I saw the picture on twitter, it's him trust me." Too confusing for Niall, he was about to panic, he hated so many people in one space, but it got even worse when all the attention was on him only, and it was right now, so he just stared at his feet, hoping to disappear in the ground. "Niall, we just wanna meet him one time, please? Just tell us if he's still here, please, please, please."

Maybe, if at the same time some other girl wouldn't have said something like 'We'll just follow him around, maybe he'll meet up with Liam again' and two other ones, just walking by nearly got a heard attack and started screaming things like 'IS LIAM THERE, WHERE IS HE', then Niall wouldn't have stumbled back like he did, just to realize that he had nowhere else to go because there was just the wall behind him, nothing else, it's like, they had him trapped systematically or something. Well fuck, he had nowhere to go, none of his body parts worked anymore, besides his fist clenched around Liam's keys, Niall's heart bumping way too fast and his eyes slowly filled with tears of panic.

It was like in a crazy movie or something, Niall didn't know many movies but he knew enough, and it wasn't exactly normal that within a few minutes, there were way, WAY, too many people surrounding him, and they got really confident suddenly as well, yelling around stuff that mixed up with everyone else's voice, like 'Can you tell Liam I love him, can you tell him to follow me on twitter, can you give Liam that?!", some of them still having their phones out, making Niall want to cry, where was the fucking security guard when you needed him?!

He's had claustrophobia ever since he had been a child, so Niall's first instinct told him to curl up on the floor and sob hysterically, they would've crushed him though, some of them were so close they had already touched Niall, which he didn't like at all, it just added up to the growing panic inside of him, making it a little harder to breathe.

"P-Please, I… I g-gotta go, I…" But no one even heard him anyway, it was too loud and Niall just pressed his hands over his ears, trying to find a way to get out of here, stay somewhat calm, which he didn't manage to because he was crying already, no matter what he did though, he just couldn't seem to get away from this, meanwhile crowd of, people. 

So it was no wonder that when someone suddenly held Niall really tightly pressed against them, his first reaction was to fight back, well, it would've been, if the screaming hadn't increased impossibly much suddenly, because believe it or not, Liam had actually managed to find him. "Shh, Ni, I got you, I got you, it's fine, I'm here." 

"LIAM, PLEASE, LIAM, OH MY GOD!" Were the words that Niall heard the most, some sobbing as well, not his own this time, he wasn't that loud, but still actually screwed everything and wrapped his arms around Liam's waist, desperate not to lose him, Niall was so relieved that the older boy was here, so he just cried a little more, despite the fact that he knew he'd be in safety soon. Liam held on tightly as well in return, with only one arm, shielding Niall's face with his free hand for which he was very thankful, Niall wasn't really keen on seeing anything anyway, he completely trusted Liam to get him out of here, pressing his cheek against the boy's shirt.

"Guys, I'm sorry, I really am, please step back a little, Niall's not feeling well." This wasn't helping much in any way, maybe it was because Liam was being so extremely nice to everyone that they felt like they didn't have to actually do what he said, but Niall just pressed his eyes shut altogether at some point, wanting to be anywhere but here right now, if Liam wouldn't have been here, he might have actually fulfilled his ideas about sitting down and crying by now.

At some point, the security guy from before finally realized that maybe he could safe Niall from having a heart attack and Liam from having to take about fifty pictures and signing twice as many autographs while being ripped to pieces, because from there on it went rather quickly, being hit by fresh air instead of stranger's bodies and hands grabbing at him almost surprised Niall then, there was some ringing in his ears that remained for a few more seconds though because of how loud it had been in there. "We're fine, Ni, we'll just have to get to the car, okay? I'll never let that happen to you again, I promise. No one's following us, alright? It's just us."

Liam was talking to him the whole time, trying to calm Niall down but instead of answering or being able to hear all of his words, Niall was just shaking, trying hard to stop being a baby, he really did, but stuff like that really got him scared, especially because Liam fastened his steps a little, giving Niall a feeling as if maybe there was a chance that someone was still following them.

The hand disappeared from his face suddenly, Niall only had time to blink a few times before Liam had already reached for Niall's hand instead, softly unclenching his fingers from around the car keys that he was still holding to lock up. Niall hadn't even noticed when they had gotten here, he didn't even loosen his grip around Liam's waist in any way, never wanting to let go again. "Niall, we just gotta get away from here a little, to be sure, it's gonna be okay, please trust me."

"B-But… I-I'm s-scared…" Niall choked out because he really didn't think he'd be able to let Liam go, the older boy was rubbing his back soothingly now after he had thrown the bags onto the backseat, giving in with a sigh at what Niall had said to hug him with both his arms for a bit.

"I know… I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you alone, it'll never happen again, I just didn't think that it would be this intense, I'm sorry, Niall, really. You shouldn't have had to experience this, it's exactly why I shouldn't have gone with you." Liam sounded so guilty that Niall stopped feeling sorry for himself a tiny second to feel sorry for Liam as well, it wasn't his fault after all, hell, he was already doing so much for Niall that he'd never be able to make up for anyway, Liam didn't have to be sorry for anything.

"I-I w-wanted you t-to…I-It's f-fine…" There was something hot on the top of his head that Niall suddenly identified as Liam's lips, he was giving him so many kisses today, Niall absolutely loved it, and the fact that he was allowed to press himself into the other boy so tightly, burying his face in his broad shoulder while he was just being held.

"Come on, let's get in the car, I'll help you." When he softly tried to move Niall now he obeyed this time, sniffing a little, hoping that he'd run out of tears because this was rather embarrassing. Even though when his and Liam's eyes met accidentally as Liam kept his hands on Niall while he sat down, putting the seatbelt on for Niall as well, he didn't feel like Liam was annoyed by him or anything, he seemed truly sorry and worried. "We'll be out here in no time, I promise."

Niall missed his warmth and his scent around him as Liam shut the door carefully to walk over to the driver's seat, not wasting much time but starting the car immediately, he still seemed a little nervous about this, which Niall understood too well. They couldn't keep those fans locked up inside a mall forever, it did make Niall feel better as well when Liam released a quiet breath after pulling out on the street again. 

"That was a shit idea…" Liam was more talking to himself so Niall didn't answer, trying to wipe his cheeks a little meanwhile, he was a bit cold now, and the after shock still lasted, making it a bit hard to breathe. "I'll turn on the heating, one second. Are you okay? You seemed really freaked out before, I know it's really scary but… but I was afraid you'd really panic and stuff."

"I just… I-I…" Somehow Niall felt like he had to tell him, he was keeping so much from Liam already, it wasn't exactly fair, so he took a deep breath, hoping that his hands would stop shaking soon. "It's just that I… I got claustrophobia…."

The silence following after that nearly made Niall think that Liam didn't care, he also didn't dare to check, but when Liam suddenly pulled into a random street, stopping the car in an empty spot, it did make Niall look up in surprise, the other boy's face was all soft now, a little sad as well though. "Hey…I'm so sorry, if I had known that, I… I would've never left you alone, Ni, I shouldn't have anyway, you have no idea how guilty I feel right now. Come here, please, I'll try my best to make it better."

Since Niall could need him doing that really badly right now, he just nodded, blinking back a few new tears building up as Liam unbuckled his seat belt so he could lean over, wrapping his arms around Niall tighter than he would've expected. It was a bit awkward to be hugging in a car, but Niall could rest his head onto Liam's shoulder again, slowly breathing in, trying his best to hold onto Liam as well, he really wanted to have him close after all, especially after what had happened. Liam was his only source of comfort right now and Niall felt like he knew that by now, the way he was rocking them slightly was really making Niall feel a lot better.

"All is good, I promise. I know how scary it can get but you've handled it alright I think, I mean you were all alone and stuff, it's completely okay and normal to freak out a bit, okay? I still do as well, all of us actually. You're fine now, I got you." Right, this made it official, Liam was not only the most kindest person in the world, he was also Niall's most favorite one. 

Still, he needed a few more moments to fully calm down, the shock was still there but with Liam holding him, he didn't feel anymore as if he was going to fall into pieces, Liam kept him together somehow, not letting go even though Niall could imagine that if his body started to hurt already from the position, Liam's was probably as well, but he didn't even attempt to pull away once. So when Niall sat up a little more straight again, lifting his head from Liam's shoulder, already missing the warmth and the soohting words he had whispered, but Niall was being met by a smile anyways.

"Feeling better?" How could he have not, seriously, Liam still had one arm around him, helping Niall as he tried to wipe away the tear tracks on his face, Liam's thumb was moving really carefully across his skin and Niall caught himself wanting to lean into the boy's touch.

"Yeah…I'm good. Thank you…" Niall's face was for sure blushed right now but he still smiled back at Liam shyly, he didn't wanna be such a baby all the time, he should be able to keep a conversation with him even while he was touching Niall. It's just, he still hadn't gotten over the fact that Liam didn't seem to mind that at all.

"No need to thank me. It was my fault anyway." Niall wanted to protest but Liam rubbed his back a bit before suddenly stopping all his movements, staring at Niall as if he had just remembered something. "Right, I totally forgot your surprise over this."

"Oh… what is it?" There was no denying that Niall really was a bit curious, maybe it came out a little too fast because Liam smirked at him before turning in his seat so he could reach the back while Niall was both trying not to stare but also to not be too excited, he didn't even deserve any surprises.

"Alright, here you go. It's not really a surprise because I actually would've gotten you that anyway, just thought it's probably more exciting than clothes." What he said only confused Niall, but he did take the bag that Liam handed over, feeling his stare on him as he looked inside, his eyes nearly falling out.

"You got me a phone?!" Not just any cheap one to make it even worse, Liam had gotten him the same that he had, which got Niall so confused and shocked, he totally forgot to be polite over it.

"Well, yeah?" No idea what Liam was thinking right now, Niall was just staring at the box in the bag, forgetting how to even move his fingers.

"B-But… but I… you didn't … you didn't have to, I…" Niall wouldn't even be able to put it to use, like, he didn't know anyone, what are you gonna do with a phone if you know no one else who's got one? Well, except for Liam, but Niall was kinda hoping that he got to stay with him for real and that Liam wouldn't mind to have Niall following him around like a puppy. Which was exactly why he couldn't accept anymore of those expensive gifts.

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to." He shrugged, Niall knew because he looked up shortly, probably with a really dumb expression on his face because Liam was still smirking. 

"I can't take it… it's too much and… and…" This was incredibly generous and all, but it didn't make any sense.

"Of course you can take it, Niall, I already bought it so it'll lie around if you don't use it." There was a quiet laugh that caused Niall to look away from Liam's eyes immediately, he didn't know what to do, Liam handled all of this as if it was nothing, as if he had just bought a pack of gum instead of a freaking phone.

"But it's… it's really expensive and you spent so much money on me already and I don't even need a-"

"Niall, listen." The seriousness in his voice as well as the hand suddenly coming to a rest on Niall's shoulder made the younger boy shut up immediately, he was all over the place anyway, nothing helpful would've come out of his mouth right now. "I told you already that money doesn't matter, besides that, I didn't buy you useless things, you do need clothes and you do need this phone, trust me."

"For what?" As he looked up again, Liam was still smiling, which Niall couldn't believe, he was being such a douche all the time yet Liam was still getting nicer every second passing by.

"Because I don't wanna lose you again. I don't intend to let you out of my sight but if something does happen there'd be no chance for me to know that you're okay. Just before for example, if you would've had a phone you could've texted me to come and get you much sooner. I don't want you walking around knowing that if you get lost or hurt or anything else I might never find you again, it's scary, and I care about you." Niall's eyes had just gotten bigger with every word that had left Liam's mouth, so when he was finished, just looking at Niall with the same soft face, he wanted to throw his arms around the older boy again, maybe he even would've, if his throat hadn't been so tight.

"R-Really..? That's w-why?" So did that mean Liam would come looking for him again in case he got lost? Did he really, actually and truly care about NIALL?

"Yeah, that's why, Niall. I mean everything I said, why would I be lying to you? I really like you and I'll help you wherever I can, I told you all of this already and I'm am genuinely glad that I found you, if you don't believe me then I guess you'll just have to stick around until you do." And the smirk came back, making Niall relax a little, Liam was talking about all of this as if it wasn't a big deal at all, which was nice because Niall felt really guilty already, but looking at Liam now calmed his nerves a tad. Liam actually reached out for him again all of a sudden, brushing some hair out of Niall's forehead, completely unnecessarily, but the gesture was more than welcome. "So no more discussion about some stupid phone, yeah?"

"Okay… thank you… so much. For everything. And I…" Wanting to talk on, the words simply slipped out of his mind because Liam had still not stopped playing with Niall's hair, suddenly moving his hand to squeeze his shoulder softly and then just leaving it there, his fingers brushing over the back of Niall's neck. "I…I like you too…"

"That's nice to hear." But his face lit up ridiculously at this before he ruffled Niall's hair all of a sudden, too fast for him to react, and leaning back again. "And you're welcome, but since you're staying with me, you don't have to thank me for everything all the time, it's fine, okay?"

Though Niall knew that he would still do it, he just nodded, looking out the windshield now while trying to resist the urge to touch his neck, it felt kinda tingly. "Okay…"

"Good. Let's go home then, I'm starving." Liam's chuckle made Niall smile a little, he was still holding the bag with the unboxed phone inside, after all, this still was a good surprise somehow, even if it was over expensive and he didn't deserve it in any way, Liam's arguments made sense, because, well… Niall wasn't really keen on Liam losing him either.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun reading this chapter everyone! Sorry for the short delay :p

"I told you I can't cook." Niall hadn't believed him the first time, because well, if you live alone it might be advisable to at least be able to do it a little bit right, but as the time moved on, Niall realized that Liam had told him the absolute truth, he couldn't cook for shit. 

"Well you're…" It would be mean to agree with him, Niall didn't wanna make him mad at him even if Liam was just laughing the whole time anyway, but Niall was trying to be careful because Liam was always so nice to him as well. "You're not as untalented as you say."

"Of course I am. See, actually you're doing all the work and I'm the one helping." Liam chuckled as Niall struggled to answer because he was speaking the truth, it's just, when they had gotten back home, Liam had looked through all of the stuff he had at home and told Niall that he didn't cook for himself because it was too boring, so if Niall helped then maybe they could actually eat it in the end. So now Niall had taken over that part while Liam asked him what he should do once a while, mostly he just tasted everything though and cracked jokes, so there was no denying that despite the unexpected outcome of the situation, they were both enjoying themselves.

"Well, it's… not so hard and… and nearly done too…" Like making pasta is not something you can forget how to make because Niall still knew every step by heart as well, yet still, it felt weird to be doing this in Liam's kitchen, even if he gave Niall the feeling as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"It would be hard for me." He was somewhere behind Niall but the younger boy didn't check, so when Liam suddenly made some sound, saying something like 'Oh, right', Niall almost fell into the stove when he felt a hand on his upper arm shortly, well actually, that wasn't the thing that got him shaking slightly, it was the fact that Liam had stepped up so close behind him to reach over Niall. Apparently he had managed to stand right in front of where the plates were, his nose filling with Liam's cologne now rather than the smell of the food, can't say Niall was disappointed about that, it was just a bit creepy that he was able to tell what Liam's scent was like by now.

When the food was done for real a few minutes later, Liam told Niall to step away, which was a little confusing for him even though he did it immediately, it was Liam's place after all. 

"Just don't want you to burn yourself again." Oh…

"I just… I didn't watch out before, I'll be fine…" The knot forming in Niall's throat actually made him sit down immediately as Liam told him to, Niall just watched the older boy's back from his place on the chair, getting a smile over his shoulder that Niall tried to return even though he was taken a little bit off guard, why was Liam so perfect, he literally was so amazing that Niall felt like getting back up and clinging to him so he could thank him a million times more.

"But I got it anyway. Maybe you should've held it under the water a little longer." Liam put the plates on the table just in time for Niall to look down again, getting his arm with the slight burn down into his lap and out of his sight.

"No, I'm good, it's okay." Actually, he had expected Liam to sit down further away from him, but he sat down just around the edge, having Niall try hard not to bump Liam's legs with his. "Thank you."

"Why? You made it after all." His face looked seriously a little confused, but after all, he had bought all the stuff though, why wouldn't Niall thank him then? "Now I assume that this is gonna be much better than ordering something all the time."

"Don't get your hopes up too high…" This made Niall really nervous suddenly, he took his own fork before Liam could do as much as move a finger, quickly trying a bite to make sure he wouldn't choke on it. It was quite alright, or so, his heart calmed down a little again just to speed up when Liam chuckled softly next to him, nearly making Niall look up before he decided against it last second. "What…?"

"It's fine if you just go ahead if you're hungry, no need to rush so much." Right, Liam probably thought that Niall was really weird for stuffing his mouth all of a sudden, he had just been trying to safe Liam from a disaster though.

"Sorry…" It just slipped out but Liam just sighed anyway, not saying a word anymore as he picked up his fork, Niall watched him shyly from the corners of his eyes, just to see whether he'd scrunch up his face or not. He didn't.

"This is really good, great job, Ni." When he looked at Niall, he smiled against his will, Liam returning it immediately, a little too bright maybe, but Niall was just happy that he had said that. And also the fact that he had used the nickname again made Niall all giggly, which was stupid, but at least he was slowly stopping to blush terribly at everything Liam said to him. "After we're done, I'll show you how to use your phone, okay? And I should save my number, don't let me forget. Hmm… and maybe the ones of the other guys as well, just in case."

"Okay… but why?" Well, Niall could imagine that they wouldn't wanna like to get a call from him, not that he'd do that, but it made him think back at when this guy, Niall had forgotten his name, had called Liam to yell at him through the phone because of Niall. He wasn't sure if he ever wanted to meet them.

"Just in case, if my battery is empty or so, or if anything happens, don't worry about it, they'll be fine with it." Niall highly doubted this, even after another one of Liam's smiles which forced him to focus on his food again, he was actually really, really hungry. Ever since he's been here, Niall felt like he could eat a lot more as well, he shouldn't get so used to all of this so quickly, but he felt like it was already too late for that anyways. "Right, speaking of phones…"

It got quiet for a bit when Liam suddenly got his phone out, at first Niall used the chance to watch him a little, but his stomach growled embarrassingly enough, so he quickly continued to eat so it wouldn't happen again, hoping that whatever Liam was doing on his phone wasn't something to get worried about. When the other boy let out a tiny sigh, Niall had nearly finished half of his plate because once he had started he couldn't stop anymore obviously, quickly stopping to check Liam's face. "Everything… o-okay?"

"Well…" He grimaced, not putting his phone down but rather typing something really fast before looking right at Niall, he didn't seem as happy as before anymore. "Look… well, the good news is that apparently people really think that you're just a friend of mine, they think you look a bit too young but they think you're cute. And some people on Twitter even wrote me apologies for what happened at the mall. The bad news is, that… that my bandmates kinda haven't been really convinced and…"

"And what?" This made Niall really nervous, every mentioning of them did, he immediately stopped whatever he had been doing, wanting Liam to speak up quicker, but he took a little breath instead, never leaving Niall out of his sight as he continued then.

"And they're about to come over, because they wanna meet you themselves." Oh god, could Niall's heart actually jump out from beating too fast?! He liked Liam, Liam was safe, but thinking about other people being here as well made Niall wanna go hide, he didn't even know anymore how many bandmates Liam had, just one would've been enough.

"A-All of t-them?" Liam immediately noticed that he was going into panic mode, it was hard not to actually, the older boy reached out for him, brushing some hair out of Niall's forehead gently before continuing to rub his back softly, face all worried now, but Niall could hardly focus on anything to be honest.

"Yeah all of them, but Niall, they're nice guys, they're my best friends, there's no need to be scared, okay? And I'm here, I'm keeping you safe, from anything. It'll be fine, I promise." So why did Niall still doubt it?

"B-But… But what if… what if they don't l-like m-me?" Because there was no way they would, even though Liam was still rubbing his back, sounding really worried all of a sudden as Niall kept on refusing to look at him. It was even hard to talk louder than just whispering, fearing that his voice would break away, this was not gonna end well, why would it, why would they like some stupid kid from the streets? Liam would kick him out if they hated him, they were his best friends after all, this band was his life.

"That's not even an option, Niall, of course they will. I'm not letting them say anything to you, besides, they wouldn't do that, you're gonna be fine." His voice seemed as if it was coming from a little further away than before, Niall was just so bloody scared all of a sudden that he couldn't move a muscle anymore, otherwise, and if he had been a little bit braver, he would've asked Liam to hold him. Who knows, he might not even want Niall here anymore after what his friends would say, he should have tried to make the best of it while he could. "Niall… do you trust me?"

It was a really hard question, because well.. he wanted to trust Liam, he really did, but nothing made any sense to Niall, everyone had let him down, so why wouldn't Liam do it as well? But Niall took a deep breath anyway, twisting his fingers together even harder. "I…I'm just… scared…"

"I know… I wish you weren't but… but you'll see, I'm not gonna change my mind about anything. Please, just trust me about this, or try at least. I wouldn't want anyone to hurt you, I just want you to be fine." Then there was suddenly a little hesitation in his voice, Niall nearly drew his eyes away from his plate to check what was up, but Liam took care of that. "Come here, babe."

Maybe it was what he called Niall that made him a little bit less nervous about snuggling up against the older boy when he put both his arms around Niall, pulling him closer, like before in the car, it helped just the same way. His warmth was spreading around Niall, Liam was just a really good hugger and his shoulder was perfect to lean his head onto and his waist perfect to hold onto, just him actually, he was perfect. "Thank you…"

"It's fine. We're gonna be fine." _We_.

If Niall hurt him with how desperate his grip was, Liam never said a word about it, actually, he leaned his cheek against Niall's head, not loosening his arms for which Niall was very thankful, it felt like Liam would be able to cure everything by simply holding Niall. Every time he did that, Niall wanted to spill everything out that he was keeping in, cry into the boy's shirt just so he'd comfort him, because Niall could have used someone to do that really badly. But Liam wouldn't wanna know about his problems anyway, so…

After they pulled apart, Niall tried to continue eating normally, even though his stomach felt pretty stuffed up now, especially because Liam picked up his phone again, typing stuff, but it only seemed to get him even more worried, Niall really wished Liam would've told him what was up, or that he would have at least given him some kinda crash course about his friends, because Niall was way too shy to ask.

"Alright, Harry texted me…" It nearly caused Niall to fall out his chair as Liam broke the silence they had fallen into, maybe it was because he was just plainly staring at either his plate or glass, but Liam seemed rather absent as well. "They'll come upstairs."

"Liam… " Yeah, what? No idea what Niall wanted to even say, but at least it stopped Liam from getting up, looking right into his eyes.

"What's the matter? It's fine, I-"

"No, I just… just how many bandmates do you have again?" Just so Niall wouldn't be overwhelmed, for some reason exactly him confessing that he hadn't been listening properly broke the tension a little, it made Liam chuckle softly before he ruffled Niall's hair shortly, he seemed to like doing that. 

"Three. Harry, Zayn and Louis. I'll tell you who is who, don't worry, you'll have it figured out in no time." Another thing that Niall highly doubted, he'd be perfectly happy with just knowing Liam, but it probably wouldn't matter anymore after today anyways, because this was surely gonna be a disaster. "I'll just go and lock up, okay?"

"No, wait." This, and Niall grabbing onto Liam's wrist had come out of instinct, he also let go again in shock when he noticed what he had done, but Liam didn't seem to mind at all, actually, his face got really soft now as he looked down at Niall again.

"They won't be mean, they just wanna meet you. Come on." And then Niall couldn't really say no anymore as he was pulled up with Liam, a little bit because he felt bad for judging Liam's friends beforehand, but mostly because Liam was too strong for him to try and resist anyway.

Actually, Niall tried to be somewhat calm, half stumbling after Liam, thinking about how nice it would be to be locked into the guest room and hidden underneath the covers. He told myself that he needed to be brave right now, just for everything to go downhill as soon as Liam pressed a brief kiss to the side of his head, just opening up the door while Niall remained a few steps behind him when actually, he wanted to grab onto Liam, hide under his shirt, the only thing he was actually capable of doing was staring though.

Liam's friends didn't rip his head off the first second they came in, they also didn't yell at Niall for being here, well, or at Liam for keeping him here, actually they went to hug their bandmate first, which was good because it meant that Niall was being ignored for five more seconds. It's just when they were done with saying hi to each other and Liam took a few steps back, Niall couldn't help himself but half hide behind the older boy, automatically twisting his fingers into the back of his shirt, as childish as it was. "So, guys…this is Niall."

Or half of him, because Liam had to actually reach around to try and unclench Niall's fist from around his clothes, he was overreacting way too much, it's just, they all had tattoos and dark hair and you know what maybe those were all stereotypes but Niall was just so scared, it wouldn't have surprised him to hear any of them commenting on how loud his heart was bumping, there was no way they couldn't hear it. "Hey, Niall. You don't have to be scared, you know, we're not gonna do anything to you, promised. I'm Louis, by the way."

Well, this was really awkward, wasn't he the guy who had yelled at Liam through the phone because of Niall? "H-Hi…"

By now, Liam had made Niall let go of him, just so that he was clinging to his arm now, Niall wasn't usually this touchy around him, because he was too shy, but Liam was the only source of comfort right now and his thoughts were kinda somewhere else, even as Liam sighed slightly, giving in then and letting Niall stay like this. "It's okay, Ni, look, that's Harry and that's Zayn, they won't bite you."

Niall wasn't so sure about that so he stayed quiet, that Zayn guy looked a lot like he didn't really care though, Niall liked that, and Harry was maybe smiling a bit too big, it was nearly creepy, but all in all, no one seemed mad at him or anything, they were in a rather good mood if Niall might say so. Probably staged. What was there to say, seriously, he was about to slip his hand into Liam's, that's how far it has come. "H-Hey…."

The silence following after Niall's half choked out word was kinda worrying, Liam reached out to put his hand over Niall's fingers on his arms gently while Niall was probably cutting off his blood circulation with his other one around the older's wrist. When some of the others cleared their throat, Niall was just plainly staring at the now closed door behind them, this was getting rather awkward. "He really didn't know who you or any of us were before, did he?"

"Of course he didn't, Harry." Liam nearly spat his answer out, causing Niall to flinch slightly, not lifting his eyes though, not even when Liam grabbed his shoulders to turn him around, Niall just obeyed, he felt like his limbs had suddenly turned into jelly. "Come on, we still haven't finished our food and I'm kinda hungry."

How could Liam be HUNGRY now?! Niall would have to force that fork into his mouth, he just felt it, his steps felt a little too heavy, he hardly remembered the way back to the kitchen, well actually, it wasn't far away like, he literally only had to take like ten or twenty steps, which was kinda hard while knowing that there were three other guys behind him who thought he wanted to rob Liam and ruin his life. "So…. you know… Sophia called me."

"That's great, did you have a nice chat with her?" Niall had no idea who Sophia was, according to the change in Liam's voice, it didn't sound like she was someone he enjoyed talking about.

"Well, it would've been nicer if she would've called you instead and not brought me into a weird position by calling you a lying asshole." Oh.

"No worries, Lou, she texted me that about twelve times already." As Niall sat down again, almost feeling like a robot, but glad that Liam took the same seat again, closest to him, he tried to watch the others secretly, it just made him nervous not to know what they were doing or whether they were somewhere behind him. Almost as if they were gonna stab him secretly or something.

That Zayn guy still hadn't said anything, Niall felt like he had just been dragged along by the others or something, he sat across from him, on the complete opposite of the table, flashing Niall half a smile before simply taking his phone out. Harry on the other hand, walked over to the fridge as if it were his home and Louis sat next to Liam, Niall immediately looked down as their eyes met though, deciding that forcing himself to eat was still better than seeing any of them. "You should probably make up with her, or… apologize."

"Why apologize? You know she's been mad at me since over a week now, it's not my fault that she thinks I'm cheating." Sophia was his _girlfriend_?! Oh god, Niall had completely forgotten that Liam even had one, he really hoped that him being here didn't make everything even worse for them, but it probably did. Wow, shit. But why'd she call Liam such nasty things, he was so nice, for sure the nicest guy alive.

"It's not helping to give… Niall your clothes and take him out into public. I mean… everyone thinks he's really cute, I mean, the pics have literally blown up twitter and not just because of you Liam, it's just… I'm worried. And no offense to you, Niall, I'm trying to be careful, that's all." Luckily, or maybe not, Niall was really busy trying to breathe normally when Liam started playing with his hair again, so he didn't have time to properly react to Louis speaking to him directly. He hadn't taken any offense in this at all, he was just happy if no one was yelling at him.

"Well, you can take as much time to be careful as you need, Niall's staying here." The surprising thing was that no one was surprised but Niall, not necessarily about what Liam had said, just that no one really reacted, Zayn put down his phone, Louis sighed and Harry sat down with a bowl of cereals, nudging Louis in the ribs with his elbow, half smirking. 

"Told you he'll let him stay. How old are you even, Niall? Like… fifteen? Fourteen?…Thirteen?" He went lower every time after thinking about it for a second, Liam chuckled quietly next to Niall, his hand going from Niall's hair to his back now while Niall tried to swallow quickly, almost choking.

"S-Seventeen…" Did he really look THIS young? Maybe it was the fact that Niall was still wearing Liam's shirt, it was way too big but it would've felt strange to put the other stuff on that Liam had bought him, it was still all packed up in the bags.

A flash of surprise crossed Harry's face, but he shrugged it off then, filling his mouth with cereal to Niall's relief, he didn't like to have the topic on him, what if they asked stuff about… well, the obvious? Niall didn't wanna talk about it, not even with Liam, so that meant something. "If you would've said twelve, I would've probably believed you as well. But it's good that you're older, it makes Liam look a bit less of a creeper. And since you're staying with him, I think we should be friends as well, I mean, we'll see each other lots, right?"

Literally what? Why would he say something like that, Niall had already tried to deal with them being really mean and stuff, this was coming out of the blue, even Louis just rolled his eyes at this and Niall had thought he absolutely hated him, but he just turned to Liam, who, by the way, was smiling really big now. "Does he at least have some kinda ID?"

"His passport." Yeah luckily, what would they have done otherwise?

"And a phone? Anything?" It was kinda funny to just be talked about like this, not that Niall really cared, he still had Liam's arm around him to comfort him, plus Niall had a feeling that Zayn and Harry weren't too bothered by his presence, whenever he accidentally met any of their eyes, they were always smiling.

"Well, I bought him one before." Louis' jaw literally fell at this, Niall quickly looked down again, he couldn't believe that he still had food on his plate though he was always taking bites once a while to make it seem like he wasn't just awkwardly sitting there. Which he was, by the way.

"You… alright. You really don't worry at all then, not even a little bit?" Niall knew what Louis meant like, he could take photos with the phone maybe, but then again, Niall wouldn't even know what to do with them if that would have been his plan, he was literally so clueless about everything it was almost embarrassing, they were just normal people to him. Well, not Liam, he was his most favorite in the whole world. 

"Not the slightest." Liam's smile was gorgeous as always, he looked at Niall, causing him to blush immediately, but to his excuse, Liam's hand caressing his back was a little distracting as well, plus Niall really liked it when the older boy was happy, it cheered him up as well.

"You're too good for this world, Liam, I swear to god…" Louis just shook his head, but he didn't seem too mad anymore, maybe still a bit worried, but Niall couldn't say that that bothered him, actually, he would've expected everyone to react this way, why would they trust him? "I'm telling you, Niall, you couldn't have gotten more lucky."

"I-I know…" He really did, no one else would've just welcomed him into their life like this, it also wasn't exactly normal, not at all, but Niall still felt tingles in his tummy now when he realized that pretty much everyone had calmed down about this, maybe this would turn out good after all.

Or not. "But how did you even-"

"Hey, Ni, eat mine as well, yeah?" Niall shot a thankful glance at Liam for cutting the forming question off, they all knew what it was gonna be so he blushed to such an extend that he thought his face might combust while Liam changed their plates and the other three exchanged looks that made Niall wanna crawl into Liam's lap to hide his face in the boy's neck. Actually, he would've rather done pretty much anything except for eating even more or being in this room, the situation had calmed down, but Niall didn't know for how long that would last. "Please?" 

Before he could somehow think of the right words to tell Liam that he was gonna throw up on the plate from eating so much, Liam pressed his lips to the side of Niall's head and Niall, well, he put the fork into his mouth one more time to get a smile from the other boy that he tried to return shyly, their tiny bubble of happiness bursting with yet another question. "You gonna bring him on tour?"

It was Zayn who spoke up this time, actually, he didn't even seem as if it bothered him, it came out casual, he was looking at his phone while talking, but Liam didn't hesitate to answer while Niall gulped quietly. "Yeah, sure." 

"Great! Someone who doesn't know all my ways to cheat on video games yet." Harry sounded seriously excited about this, Niall told myself that he had misinterpreted it just so he wouldn't have to look up. Even if he wouldn't mind playing some video games though.

It seemed as if Liam wanted to say something, but he got cut off before he could even fully open up his mouth. "Li, can we talk really quick? Alone?"

Panic rushed through Niall at this, he only faintly noticed the nickname Louis used for Liam, already about to get up and making Liam sigh, but he nodded anyway, turning to Niall now who felt like he'd have to die on the spot. "Sure. I'll be right back, okay?"

No, no, no, oh god, he couldn't leave him alone! "O-Okay…."

"It's fine, yeah?" It wasn't, Niall's hand started shaking, which Liam probably didn't notice but he seemed awfully worried anyway as he got up as well, quickly changing his mind about following Louis out of the room, pressing Niall against him for just a second before leaving him. Not only didn't Niall want to be without him but also the reason for their private talk couldn't have been more obvious.

"So, Niall, where are you from? I know you're Irish, I just meant, where exactly?" Harry took up the smalltalk as if nothing had happened, as if he didn't notice how much trouble Niall had with breathing and how he had to put the fork down in order to not drop it.

"M-Mullingar…" This was actually so sad, Niall hadn't been there in what seemed like forever, it had only been two years though.

"Where's that?" Instead of looking up, Niall stared into his lap now, twisting his fingers together, pulling at the skin next to his thumb until it started bleeding. He just wanted Liam to come back, his presence was the only thing keeping him somewhat calm.

"…an h-hour from D-Dublin…" God, his voice was so fucking shaky, Niall nearly pulled his legs up to curl himself into a ball like he sometimes did, was Louis gonna convince Liam to throw him out now?

"Nice. We'll be in Dublin for the tour as well, you know." Great. "If you wanna, you know-"

"Harry." Zayn stopped him with his elbow, Niall could only guess what he had been about to say, they probably hoped that Niall still had family in Ireland who they could give him back to so none of them would have to be bothered with him again, of course, Niall was just intruding into their lives, all of theirs, even Liam's girlfriend probably already hated him even though she didn't even know him. Niall understood, he hated himself too for being such a dumb, ignorant asshole.

"Sorry, I didn't wanna… are you okay?" No, he wasn't, Harry interrupted himself to stare at Niall, shocked as it seemed, even Zayn had put his phone down for real now, not saying anything though. 

"S-Sure…" Actually, there were tears forming in Niall's eyes that he tried to wipe away hastily but it didn't really help, what if he never saw Liam again just because his friends didn't like Niall?! This wasn't so much about a place to stay, it was more that Niall had managed to grow attached to Liam himself, even though he fucking knew that he wasn't allowed to do that, it was never good to rely on people, everyone was just gonna leave him in the end anyway.

 

———Liam———

 

"Liam, what do you know about him? We don't know where he's from, we don't know how he ended up here, god damn it, we don't even know if he's really seventeen, like, where are his parents? You can't just take random kids from the streets into your house, we still don't even know if he's some crazy fan and you… you bought him a fucking phone and god knows what else, I can't believe this." As soon as Liam had closed the bedroom door behind them, Louis went on with his rant, he just rolled his eyes at his friend though, sitting on the bed while Louis walked up and down. There was nothing he could have said to change Liam's mind.

"Clothes. I bought him clothes, I might buy him other stuff as well though, just online this time, he got pretty scared at the mall." Liam talked as if everything was alright, it was for him, he was just worried about leaving Niall with Zayn and Harry, because he knew that the boy needed Liam to protect him, which made him proud but right now, he wasn't doing a very good job at that obviously.

"Did you even listen to me?" Sort of.

"What do you want me to say, Louis? I don't know how he ended up on the streets, all I know is that he is not a fan, he's just a scared kid and he would probably be half dead now if I hadn't gone after him, I'm not sending him away again, have you even looked at him? He could easily be five years younger than he is, I can't do this and besides… he's warming up to me. And I told him we're friends, I can't let my friends live on the streets, can I?" Actually Liam wasn't in a bad mood at all, not even when Louis groaned loudly at his response before dropping onto the other side of the bed. "Would you be able to send him away?"

"Christ no, he's a child. I just… we don't know if we can trust him. If… if the circumstances were different I would probably congratulate you on being this selfless. But they aren't." Of course he knew what this was about, this wasn't about Liam and his safety at all.

"Who'd he tell if he found out? I think you should able to keep yourself from snogging the life out of Harry for the time he's around." This was probably their biggest secret to keep, if Niall really was a crazy fan, which of course, he wasn't, letting him into Liam's house wouldn't be that big of a deal, who cared what his house looks like, nothing in here wasn't replaceable, so that was definitely not Louis' concern.

"Well, since you plan on taking him on tour, that'll be hard. What if he has been kidnapped and listed as missing, Liam? And as soon as he walks into an airport with his bloody password they'll have his name and-"

"Calm down, okay? Tour won't start until in a few weeks, I'll talk this all out with him, for now I just wanna keep him here and make sure he's alright. And that he doesn't run away again." The thought alone made Liam shiver, the night after Niall had left his place, he hadn't been able to sleep for even one second, no one could blame him though, anyone who had seen this boy just knew that he needed someone to take care of him. He was so bloody thin, so small and shy too, and whenever Liam hugged him he immediately snuggled up to him as if he was the greatest person alive, there was no way Liam would let him go anywhere at all, he liked that boy too much already anyway.

"You can't always take him everywhere, you know, are you just gonna leave him alone here if you have to leave?" Right now, there wasn't one situation Liam could think of where Niall couldn't come, so he just shrugged, looking down at Louis who had propped himself up on his elbows now, sighing. "Sophia?"

Oh shit, right, Liam still had other problems as well. "Yeah, well, who cares about her right now, she's pissed already, I think we won't see each other for a while anyway, Niall could come along if we do."

"You've officially gone mad, Li. What are you gonna do with him, get him a job?" At least that was a topic he preferred, why'd Louis try and talk Liam out of this anyways, he should've known him by now.

"Yeah, I guess so, he's complained about every pound I've spent on him. If everything fails I'll just give him something to do on tour and pay him myself, he doesn't have to know it's my own money." Yeah, Liam had planned this out already, how'd he even get Niall a normal job if they would be away for so long, sure, Liam could've gotten him an apartment and left him here or so, but the truth was, he wanted to take care of the boy, Niall had no one, so Liam would be there for him now, he had promised after all.

Louis looked at him as if Liam had grown another head until he started laughing, why was Louis freaking out so much, it was going to be alright, wasn't it? "You really don't mind this, do you? You've literally been touching him the whole time and it makes sense that he's clinging to you, but do you really care this much already? About some stranger you've known for a week?"

"Wouldn't you?" And it was a kinda difficult question because Louis shut his mouth then right before he wanted to say something, this was hard to answer and Liam knew it, because who wouldn't be able to care about a boy like Niall, he was still holding his fork wrong whenever he ate.

Their short silence was being interrupted by Zayn just opening the door up, not bothering to knock or anything, there was no need to anyways but Liam still nearly fell out of bed in shock. "Liam, you gotta … get back into the kitchen."

Immediately alarmed, Liam jumped up before even thinking this through, he was already pushing past Zayn while he spoke up, the other two probably right behind him. "What happened?"

This could mean nothing good, he didn't really expect to get a response seeing as walking around the corner, Liam already had the answer right in front of him, Niall was crying, obviously not pleased with Harry's hand on his back while he tried to calm the younger boy down who just looked like a ball of misery. "It's okay, Niall, look… there's Liam, I… I'll let him sit down, okay?"

There was no reaction whatsoever, all Liam managed to do was glare at Harry briefly before getting into his now empty chair, pulling it closer to Niall's, his heart breaking into pieces meanwhile, seeing that boy cry was the worst, he had his legs up and pressed to his chest, his tiny body shaking as he tried his best to be quiet and not meet Liam's eyes under any circumstances. "Ni, what's wrong? What happened? Did they say something to you?"

"N-No…" Everyone was there but Liam didn't really care as he reached over, running his fingers through the messy brown hair, his other hand coming to a rest on Niall's arm, rubbing his thumb across the skin gently, actually wanting to pull him over into his lap but he didn't know if Niall would want to. 

"Why are you crying, babe? You can tell me, it's okay, no matter what it is, I promise, I just don't like to see you hurt, Ni." The urge to protect him was nearly unbearable, Liam had almost gotten like maternal feelings towards him after knowing him for ten minutes, he'd do literally everything to make sure Niall was alright, no matter what anyone thought about it. "Please, babe? Let me help…"

"I-I…" He sniffed, making Liam's heart twitch uncomfortably, his red shot eyes were still drawn away from him, knuckles white from how tightly he had his arms wrapped around his knees. "I-if y-you w-want m-me t-to l-leave… I-I k-know I-I'm a-a b-bother…." The hiccup he was interrupted with was the most adorable thing in the world, Liam would've smiled if those half choked out words hadn't brought tears to his eyes as well. "S-Sorry…"

"Niall…" Great, Liam hated Louis for making Niall so insecure, like, what if Niall would try and run away now because he thought Liam didn't want him here, it had taken time to convince him and it seemed those tries had just crumbled down again. "You're not a bother at all, and no one wants you to go anywhere. In fact, I wouldn't even let you leave, I'm taking care of you, remember? You're living with me now, Niall, I'd never throw you out, I'm always keeping my word, please don't cry anymore. It's okay, I promise, I'm not leaving you alone."

This was so hard because deep down, Liam knew that he didn't have the boy's full trust and why would he, looking at his situation, Liam would probably not trust himself either, he couldn't even begin to imagine the life Niall must've been living, he needed Liam and knew that, he'd just have to earn the boy's trust first somehow.

"Ni, please stand up for a second." As Liam pulled at his arms softly, trying to get him to loosen them, Niall was just sniffing as an answer, hiccuping in between but doing what he had said anyway, holding onto the small boy's wrist, just in case he thought Liam was going to tell him to leave or something like that. He just looked completely done, not even blushing this time as Liam got to his feet as well, kissing the top of Niall's head before dropping onto his chair instead. "Come here."

The lack of resistance made it very clear that Niall really was bad, usually he tensed up a little at first before hugging Liam back, but as he softly grabbed the boy's small hips now, he let himself being pulled into Liam's lap without any complaining, actually nuzzling his face against his neck as soon as Liam hugged him closer. There was no way a seventeen year old should be this light and fit into his lap this well but Niall did, letting Liam feel his little shakes even more now that they were this close.

"Shsh, you're okay, Niall. I'm sorry if anyone's made you feel like you're not welcome here because you are and you're always gonna be. I'm here, babe." Liam didn't even watch his words or actions anymore, he was just desperate to get this poor mess in his arms to calm down so he rocked him a little, leaning his chin against Niall's head while he felt the boy's hand twisting into his shirt. This was nice actually, at least Liam knew now that Niall wasn't bothered by all the cuddles, he usually wasn't this extreme with touches, it's just, Niall constantly seemed like he needed to be held and Liam always felt the urge to do it as well, so here they were.

"Niall, I… I'm sorry about what I said, it's just… I was worried, you understand that, right?" When Louis spoke up, Liam realized that everyone else was still here as well, not that it bothered him, they all seemed a little bit guilty now, well, Louis especially, he even came to sit on the chair Liam had sat on before. 

"Y-Yeah… sorry…" Niall sniffed into his neck while Liam glared at Louis, hugging Niall tighter to his chest, couldn't Louis just apologize and let it be? At least Niall's breakdown had gotten them all a little more aware of the situation, he wasn't just anyone and this wasn't a fucking joke nor was he some crazy fan trying to ruin their lives, he was simply confused and scared.

"It's fine, we… well, I am fine with it if you're staying with Liam, not that it's any of my business, it kinda is, but it's alright, yeah? And if you come along for tour and stuff." The smile was a bit sad, probably caused by Niall's completely wet and red face, this wasn't a sight you'd wanna have, it was awful when he cried, like kicking a puppy in the face, who'd even think of doing that.

"Harry and me are fine with it as well, actually, I was already fine with it before we came here." And then Zayn just shrugged, he wasn't someone to make any drama out of this and maybe he knew that Liam was too stubborn to be convinced otherwise, besides, when he smiled at Niall comfortingly, Liam kinda hoped that he also agreed a little because of Niall himself.

Maybe Niall smiled back at him, but Liam couldn't tell because he couldn't see the boy's face, actually, they all stayed quiet for a bit, Louis leaned back again, Zayn went on texting, from Liam's couch this time and Liam continued to rock Niall slightly while stroking his hair, without noticing it anymore really, like with a cat you've had in your lap far too long to be aware of touching it. It's when Harry dropped himself into Louis' lap, a huge grin on his face as his boyfriend's expression turned from somewhat empty to surprised and then to slightly scared, no one seemed to care about that anymore though, Harry just reached out to poke Niall's cheek.

"We're gonna be great friends." This was slightly worrying, on the other hand though, Niall finally lifted his head a little, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles like a child, he was a little blushed after what Harry had done, but it was cute so Liam relaxed a bit.

"Okay…" His voice was really quiet, fingers still clenched desperately around the older's shirt, they were actually so squeezed together that Liam could almost feel every breath the boy took, or maybe it was because he refused to loosen his arms around Niall's waist.

"Good, I gotta finish my cereal or Liam's gonna bitch at me again for wasting food." Well, at least he only kissed Louis' cheek and not his mouth before he jumped up again and actually, Niall was probably the last one to notice it, he didn't seem that bad anymore, but not exactly happy either. 

"I never bitched at you for… oh, right." He had, but like, this was his place, Liam didn't care what kinda… activity Harry did with his food that he bought himself. Ugh, that was gross. "Hey, Ni, I never showed you how to work your phone, I'll go get it, okay?"

"C-Can I come?" Of course he wanted to come, Liam just smiled at him when he turned his face towards him, finally not hiding it anymore, even though the sight did make Liam's stomach twist uncomfortably. If this was how he reacted meeting just his friends, what would happen if Sophia came here one day to slap Liam's face and then see Niall? He knew he should've told her, or tried to sort their 'little' fight out, Liam just didn't feel like it at all and somehow he had a feeling that Niall was more important right now anyway.

"Sure, come on." Petting his side softly until Niall got up and out of his lap slowly, Liam was glad to see neither Harry nor Louis paying any attention to them anymore, because it wasn't hard to tell that Niall was still nervous, the way he grabbed at Liam's shirt again as soon as he got to his feet made it very obvious. As Liam wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders comfortingly, he noticed once again how small and skinny Niall was, this was not good, today when they had been searching for clothes, he had nearly had a heart attack from how his bones were sticking out, no matter what anyone thought, Niall needed Liam to take care of him. And he didn't even care if Niall didn't agree with him, he had been on his own for so long, he might tell Liam to piss off at some point, but right now it seemed that he really enjoyed being treated as if he was five five years old, because in Liam's head, he kinda was.

They walked into the guest room, because that's where all the new stuff was, and as soon as they were out of sight, Niall relaxed noticeably, which made Liam kiss the side of his head softly, kinda an apology for his friends showing up out of nowhere, he shouldn't have opened the door.

"You're okay, yeah? Louis and I just talked, nothing more, but he'll never say any of those things again, I promise." Liam would make sure he didn't.

"I'm fine… I… I wouldn't trust me either…" Niall's short laugh sounded forced and out of breath, he rubbed his eye again before looking down and playing with the hem of his shirt. Actually Liam's shirt because he hadn't wanted to wear anything he had bought the boy, so Liam really hoped that he'd get over this soon.

"I trust you." Really, he wasn't just saying this, Liam would leave that boy alone in his apartment just to proof it, even if he kinda wanted to avoid doing that because he knew Niall didn't like to be left alone. Or not really left alone but being without Liam.

Since there was no real answer, he tried to hold back a sigh, letting his arm slip slowly as they entered the guest room, Niall stopping by the door then for whatever reason, it felt like he needed permission from Liam for everything, sometimes he wondered if the boy needed to go use the bathroom and simply didn't go because he thought he wasn't allowed to. How'd Liam make him see that this was alright, he could simply go and use everything that was in here.

"Alright, let's see…" Instead of commenting on where he decided to stand and embarrassing him, Liam just went for the right bag, he'd need his laptop to set the phone up as well, it's not like he minded if Niall used his card, he knew that the boy wouldn't buy anything anyway unless Liam told him to do it, he mainly wanted Niall to have a phone because one, how else would he be able to contact him and second, he thought he'd just feel better in general if he had one, less as if Liam was trying to get rid of him which he still seemed to think. "Is it okay if we… go back to the living room or do you wanna stay here?"

For a second, Niall's face was really surprised, as if he hadn't thought that Liam would offer that, but then he shrugged slightly noticeable, sniffing quietly. "We can go back…"

"Okay. None of the others will talk about this again, Ni, it'll be fine, alright? It'll just be as if they came over to hang out." Hopefully, Liam was ready to throw them all out and ban them from coming over ever again if they misbehaved.

Niall refused to look at him though, he was nervous and stressed out, Liam knew that nothing he said was making the boy feel much better, so without really thinking about it, he just walked over again to wrap his arms around him, the box with the phone still in his hand. It was nice to hug Niall because he always melted against Liam as if he wanted to be nowhere else in the world, and his arms around his waist were way tighter than the hugs Liam normally received, Niall would have to stand on his tip toes to wrap them around his neck, that's how small he was.

This time was no different, there was the slight tensing up that lasted a lot less longer than the time before and then suddenly Niall was holding on as if his life dependent on it. Liam wondered when the last time had been that someone other than himself had hugged the boy, but then again, maybe he didn't even wanna know it. "What's the matter, babe? I mean, what's REALLY wrong?"

At least he wasn't shaking anymore like before, even if he had his face buried in Liam's shirt again the second Liam tugged his chin over the boy's head so Niall's was in the crook of his neck. There was a bit of a silence, no sound besides Niall breathing and someone in the kitchen talking a bit before he whispered something that Liam couldn't understand.

"I can't hear you, Niall, speak up a bit." His voice was really soft, even Liam noticed that, it just somehow turned like this automatically whenever he spoke to Niall, it was like when you talk to a toddler or so.

Niall was being extra quiet because of his lips being numbed by Liam's shirt but if he tried really hard, he could understand the boy this time. "I just... I can't believe this…"

"I know… I know you still think that there's a possibility I might kick you out, don't you?" The slight nod nearly killed Liam, he held on tighter instead, this boy wasn't going anywhere. "Well, I'm not and I'd do about anything so you'd believe me. Maybe it seems weird that I'm doing this, but I don't care, I just never wanna feel the way I felt when I thought I had lost you again. The thought of you being on your own is killing me."

"Why?" Was that even worth a question though, Liam had told him that a few times already, why was it so hard to believe that he liked and cared about him?

"Because it's not right and you need a home and someone to look after you so you're not gonna get this ill again. And if you ever get lost again I'll come looking for you, I always will, I promise, I told you that I like you and I care about you, that's all. And before I forget it, you don't have to be shy about doing stuff here, you can just go and drink or eat whatever you want or watch TV or whatever, it doesn't matter, you live here after all." Was that convincing enough?

Liam kinda thought that Niall didn't believe him anyway at first, but it was when the smaller boy suddenly blurted out something that Liam almost let out a laugh from relief. "You're my most favorite person in the whole world."

Right after it was out, Niall pressed his face tighter into Liam, probably embarrassed, but it made Liam smile ridiculously much, Niall was so fucking cute god damn it. Hearing this was just so nice, no one had ever said this to Liam because they liked the real him, and he knew that Niall wouldn't make this up, he had no reason to, actually, Liam was pretty sure that the boy had been so serious about it that he regretted it now. "Thank you, babe, this means a lot to me."

Somehow it felt as if his heart was swelling from Niall's words, Liam might've blushed the slightest bit, which was fucking stupid of course, but as he pulled away from Niall after giving him another tight squeeze and a kiss on his forehead, Liam was still somehow glad that Niall didn't dare looking up straight into his face, even if his would always stay more flushed than Liam's anyways.

The funny thing was when they got back into the living room, no one really looked up, and despite what had happened before in Liam's bedroom and how hard Niall tried not to bump into him while walking next to him, he still refused to sit between Liam and Zayn on the couch, squeezing himself onto Liam's other side so that he actually had to make some space because otherwise, Niall would've fallen off from how close they had to sit to make this happen. But their arms and thighs brushing still seemed to be a better option for Niall than sitting next to a complete stranger, which caused Liam to chuckle slightly, Niall luckily didn't notice, he was busy keeping an eye on Louis and Harry who were fooling around at the table. "Okay, here, open this up I'll start my laptop."

"Okay…" He seemed confused, which made him look incredibly cuter than he already was, Liam tried his best not to smile as dumbly as he had before, focusing on his laptop instead while Niall probably had a hard time to get the phone out of the box. Liam's background had him blurting out something he usually wouldn't have asked, Liam knew that because Niall immediately got as red as a tomato, a normal condition by now. "Who's that?"

"My dog, Loki, but my sister is watching him back home, actually I thought about keeping him here while we're on break but I guess it's better if he just stays where he's used to being." No idea why Liam kept talking after answering the question, maybe because he felt guilty about it, or because he felt like Niall wouldn't mind getting a bit of extra information. "Here, let me help you." 

Since Niall was obviously really bad at unboxing, Liam just simply did it for him, as well as all the other stuff while Niall watched curiously, maybe a bit taken back when Louis and Harry came over too, they did nothing at all though, just turning on the TV and settling on the other couch, far away from Niall. He was still pressing himself into Liam's side though, halftime hiding behind him whenever one of the others did as much as move their arms. This was gonna get hard.

"Zayn." Once Liam was done setting up the phone, saving his own number in it, he waited for Zayn to look up before sliding the device across the couch. "Type your number in."

Liam didn't know any of the other's by heart, Louis looked a bit surprised by this, especially when Zayn just did what he had been asked to, well, and Harry nearly ripped the phone from his hands after he was done, the stupid grin on his face clearly saying that he would definitely not put 'Harry' as his name. "You wouldn't mind having me and Louis as your background, would you?"

"I-I…" You know what, even if Niall was the one choking on his words, Liam wasn't quite sure if he wanted the first picture taken with Niall's phone to be a selfie of Harry and Louis either.

"Haz, just save your number and give it to Louis, I wanna show Niall how to use it." And if Niall had one of them as his background it would be Liam and not them, just to make this clear, after all Niall didn't even flinch anymore as Liam leaned back and tugged him under his arm, the younger boy's face was just a bit pale and confused, but he gratefully curled into his side then and Liam hid his smile with a cough as he noticed Zayn's stare.

"You should make him twitter, Li, that would be so funny." It wouldn't, but Liam didn't bother answering anyways because he was a bit more focused on Louis while trying to figure out if he would really give Niall his number or not, he wouldn't be too extremely mad about it if he decided not to, he just didn't want Niall to get hurt after he had promised him that no one would make any comments anymore. Liam's worries turned out to be more than unnecessary. "I put yours in as well, okay Louis?" 

"Okay. I hope you thought of a creative name for me as well." And then they both laughed as if before hadn't even happened at all, so maybe Liam wouldn't have to slap anyone today after all.

As soon as he got the phone back, he resisted checking for the contacts to see what names they had used, it didn't matter anyway, as long as Niall had someone to call in case he got lost, Liam would have to force the others to save his number as well. "Alright, look…"

So nothing exciting happened really, Louis and Harry took charge of the TV, Zayn walked on the balcony a bit to call someone and have a smoke and Liam explained the phone to Niall, happy when the boy relaxed and started asking stuff back and actually looked as if he was fine here, never once leaving Liam's side though. They were touching the whole time, Liam couldn't say that he minded, not the slightest bit, he just left his arm around the boy's shoulders then, occasionally playing with his hair because he remembered how it had put Niall to sleep yesterday, or maybe he had just been tired, Liam liked to think that he had helped though. After all, Niall liked cuddles, which Liam knew very well by now, and he didn't mind kisses at all either so that was good, it was like having an affectionate little puppy following you around, at least that explained Liam's protectiveness.

When Niall's head dropped onto his shoulder and he let out this really adorable yaw that nearly had Liam cooing at him, it was already dark outside, the others were still here. None of them had really done anything all day long, well, Liam had made dinner at some point, with Niall glued to his side, because he always looked so hungry, actually, he didn't, but Liam liked to pretend, simply because the boy didn't look too healthy and it was Liam's personal goal to change that.

"I think it's time for bed, huh?" Like, he wasn't planning on babying him to such an extend, things like that just slipped out when Niall was being like this.

"Hmmm…" Was all he made, turning more into Liam and making him smile, he'd end up on top of him if he moved even closer, Niall's arm was pretty tight around him already too.

"Come on, Ni, I know you're sleepy." His eyes were nearly dropping closed after he rubbed them a bit, this was so cute, his hair was all messy, he was all cuddly and warm now pressed into Liam's side, he wasn't even sure if Niall would be able to walk.

"Can you… can you come along?" Hell no, how'd he manage to do those puppy eyes, Liam would've gone with him anyway but the way Niall was sucking his bottom lip in now was nearly killing him, thank god that everyone else was either focused on the TV or each other, they had seen Liam kissing the boy's head way too many times already.

"Of course. Can you stand up? I'm not letting you slip, okay?" He would've carried Niall, if they had been alone and of course Liam would've asked before, he didn't wanna do anything that might scare Niall or so, after all, he didn't know what he had gone through in his past. 

"Okay…" Niall clung to his arm when Liam softly pulled him up with him, of course drawing everyone's attention on them, but it was fine now because Niall was way too tired as to really react or blush.

"You bringing him to bed?" Louis asked simply, as if this was the most casual thing in the world, as if it happened every day.

"Yeah, I'll be back in a bit." Or not, depended on if Niall was able to sleep, Liam let him walk in front of him, keeping his hands on the boy's upper arms comfortingly as they passed the others to show that he was right here.

"Goodnight, Niall, don't dream too much about me, okay? I know I've left quite an impression. I'll text you sometime." Yes, Harry was insane, but Liam also found it kinda nice, knowing him, he probably meant it.

"Sleep well." Zayn threw in, making Niall turn his head slowly, he nearly stumbled over his own feet but Liam held him, pulling him tightly into his side again after that incident.

"N-Night…" His voice was still shaky when talking to any of them, but it had gotten better, Liam could only pray that at some point he'd feel comfortable around them and that all of this would turn out good, it had to, because what other options did they have?

Niall was a bit confused when Liam didn't go straight for the guest room like he seemed to have planned, but since his arm was still tightly around the boy, he just pulled him softly towards the bathroom, chuckling a bit. "Where you going, Ni? You still gotta brush your teeth, no skipping."

"Oh… right." The thing was that he didn't seem to mind being told what to do once again, it's just, Liam felt the need to do it, as if he was his little brother or so, he sure as hell could have been, looking at his appearance and all.

"But you can shower tomorrow if you want to, I mean, if you're too tired already, or do it now, whatever you want, okay? And in case you wake up before me in the morning, you can do whatever, alright? If you wanna eat or watch TV or so, anything." Just to make sure he knew it, Liam would tell him again later, until he'd know that he could treat this place like he would his own.

"Okay… thank you, Liam…" He liked his name coming out of Niall's mouth, it made him smile even though Niall's face flushed a bit as Liam sat on the edge of the bathtub, pretending to be playing on his phone just so Niall wouldn't feel like he was being watching while brushing his teeth and maybe get nervous. 

"You know… I haven't checked before but I just looked at the pics from today. And Louis was right, everyone thinks you're really cute. Well, you are, just everyone especially liked that you were wearing my shirt." It was true, while scrolling through twitter to the sound of Niall moving his toothbrush, Liam actually had to smile to himself slightly, mostly because Niall looked so incredibly shy in the pics, and the way he was holding onto him the whole time, the shirt clearly five sizes or so too big.

"How'd… how'd anyone know it's yours? It's just black." Niall seemed really confused, which Liam understood, but he couldn't take it too serious because the boy had managed to get toothpaste on his cheek after spitting out, just being his adorable little self.

"Well, you obviously don't even begin to fill it out. Guess they jumped to conclusions, but they're right anyway. And you do look really cute." Laughing quietly, Niall looked down, embarrassed as it seemed like, cleaning his mouth a bit even though he forgot about his cheek, forcing Liam to try and hold back a laugh. "Let's get you to bed, alright?" 

There was a nod and Niall turned to go after Liam stood back up, out of instinct, he reached out to hold him back softly, not hesitating to move his arm and wipe the toothpaste left off of Niall's skin gently. NOW he was really blushed. 

"Come on." Why was he so bloody cute all the time, even the way he leaned into Liam's side again almost as soon as he wrapped his arm around the younger boy made him grin, it was just nice to know that Niall was starting to trust him more, all Liam really wanted was for him to be okay, seriously. Which brought him to another brilliant idea. "You know… if you want to, you can also sleep in my bed."

"Wh-…I mean, I… I'm fine, thank you…" The offer had clearly surprised him, Liam had just been remembering last night and how small and scared he had been, he really didn't wanna have this happen again.

"You sure? If you change your mind just tell me. Or actually, you can just come over whenever, also later, in case you wake up and can't fall back asleep, alright?" Liam promised, he didn't secretly hope for this, it would just make him feel better if Niall did come, but he could also just wait until the boy was asleep, and then check on him again after the others were gone to drown his worries a little.

"Thank you…" Their eyes met for a moment, Liam swore he would've covered Niall's face in kisses at this sight if it would've been more appropriate, but that would've probably really crossed lines.

"You're welcome." Very welcome, he kissed the side of Niall's head to proof his point, getting nothing in return besides Niall pressing tighter into his side.

All the bags were still on the bed in the guest room, they hadn't unpacked anything because Liam hadn't thought that Niall really wanted to, he didn't seem to like it when Liam bought him stuff, which he understood, but it didn't change the fact that Liam liked doing it anyway.

So as he went through the stuff, Niall just sat on the bed, answering whenever Liam asked something, but he was still very quiet, which might've also been because he had to yawn every five seconds, not even complaining when Liam just picked him out clothes to wear for bed. He even turned around while the younger boy changed, because why would he watch right, it's just, before in the mall Niall had been really fucking nervous about Liam accidentally seeing him without a shirt, not only was he bloody skinny but he also had a few bruises and older scars, every blemish very visible on his pale skin. It hurt to be honest, he hadn't deserved any of the things he had had to go through, Liam wondered what Niall had been like before god knows what had happened, he could only hope he'd tell him one day and let him help.

"Come here, before you pass out." It never occurred to Liam that maybe Niall wanted him to leave, so he just stayed there anyway, on the edge of the bed and holding the blanket open because Niall seemed to want him here, he had asked him to come before after all.

The new clothes were still too big, not as much as Liam's though, it was still worrying when Niall climbed onto the bed and nearly hit his head on the wall, he was so clumsy it would've been adorable if Liam hadn't been too scared that something might happen to him, he looked like he could break if Liam didn't touch him as if he was made out of glass. Which was also why he decided it was his job to properly tug the boy in, and because you simply couldn't resist those baby blue puppy eyes, Liam was in too deep already and he didn't even mind.

"Are you alright?" Just checking, his voice had gone even softer than it had already been before, the way Niall snuggled up in the sheets, looking up at him with this innocent face was going to kill Liam. He gave a tiny nod, rather shy like always, Liam hoped that brushing the hair out of Niall's forehead wasn't making him even more nervous. "Do you… do you want me to wait until you're asleep?"

This time his words caused a familiar blush to creep into Niall's face, he quickly lowered his eyes, twisting the blanket in his fingers, it's when Liam knew that he wanted him to stay and maybe this hadn't even been worth a question. "But your friends…"

"They're fine on their own. I'll stay, okay? But close your eyes, Niall, you look really tired." It was only like nine or ten pm, he didn't only look like a child, he also behaved like one, it would've been hard to not get maternal feelings towards him, especially after he let out a happy sigh as Liam leaned over to kiss his forehead after Niall had done what he had asked him to. "Sleep tight."

Liam stayed leaned over him for a bit, still playing with his hair softly because Niall didn't seem to mind one bit, actually, when Liam sat up more straight again, the boy's eyes were half open, as if he had a hard time to not let them fall closed completely. "Goodnight, Li..:" 

The use of Liam's nickname nearly made him freeze just so he started smiling, Niall must've heard it before from one of the others and it was only fair, Liam hardly called him his full name either, besides, he liked it coming out of Niall's mouth. Just like about everything else. 

With that, Niall finally give in, curling up a little more, it was somehow fascinating to watch him falling asleep, and impossibly cute as well of course, Liam didn't feel like looking away from him or stopping to stroke his hair, telling himself that his touches and presence helped. Maybe they did, after all Niall had practically been glued to him the whole day long, mostly because he had been scared, but it still meant that out of every person, he trusted Liam the most. That had to be enough for now.

When he finally decided to get up, it was more than clear that Niall was tightly asleep, Liam had whispered his name a few times, just to be sure, but there was no response. Which was good, he needed the sleep, he had been terribly sick and today must've worn him out as well and anyway, Liam had no idea how long he had been out on his own, Niall had to make up for all the time being cold and scared and having nowhere to sleep.

Well aware of the fact that now everyone would make fun of him, he kissed Niall's forehead once more before pulling the blanket a little higher, hesitating for a second before turning the lights off, like, he wasn't sure if Niall would be scared or not, but he could imagine that it would just wake him more easily if it wasn't dark and same with the door, which Liam closed completely because the others could get pretty loud at times and he couldn't exactly throw them out.

As he got back into my living room, Liam was still stuck with the image of Niall snuggling into the pillow, he couldn't believe that this had left such an impression on him, but it had somehow, it felt as if he had adopted Niall or so, he was already feeling that protective and like, he had told him to go to bed and Niall had actually done it. "What took you so long?"

They were all still there and watching TV, well, they had also eaten about half the fridge empty, at least that's what all the used plates and Louis' full mouth told Liam, not that it really bothered him, nothing could've gotten him worked up right now. "I waited for Niall to fall asleep."

"You're so smitten for this boy, it's ridiculous." Harry just laughed though while Liam dropped into his place on the couch from before, with a little more space now that Niall wasn't here anymore. "You do know he's almost off age, right?"

"Provided he's telling the truth." Now this was starting again, Liam shared a look with Zayn, hoping for someone to have his back but his dark haired bandmate just shrugged, obviously not really interested in helping Liam finding arguments to convince Louis. "You should check his passport."

"I'm not just gonna check his passport, I want him to trust me and it can only work if I'm trusting him as well." And Liam really was, it was impossible to spend a few days with Niall and not know that everything he had said was the truth.

"Well, let's pretend that he's not a crazy stalker-"

"He's not." Liam interrupted Louis, rolling his eyes and making Harry giggle, he was so done with this, why couldn't they put it to rest.

"Fine. Then if he's only 17 and been out there for who knows how long, maybe years, then there has to be someone he has run away from. Or someone who's supposed to take care of him, I don't know what happened, but fact is that he's underaged and we should call the police." That was about the dumbest idea Liam had ever heard, he knew that it would be responsible but he wouldn't do it, under no circumstances.

"We're not gonna call anyone, what if his parents were like, abusive and he ran away? We'd hurt him more than we'd be helping, besides, I promised he could stay with me." If Louis called the police Liam would fucking kill him, he didn't think he would without his approval, but Liam would still stay alarmed, how could it be that anyone was thinking about sending Niall somewhere else, it was like kicking a puppy out.

"He's not yours, Liam, it's not like finding a stray dog and adopting it, he's a human being and there has to be a reason why he was living alone on the streets, a serious one probably. Look, I don't say make him leave or anything, but you have to find out what happened to him. Where his parents are or you know, he has to have a legal guardian or something." They all knew that Louis was right, but Liam looked away, trying to think of something smart to say, he knew Niall wasn't comfortable talking about his past, so he had decided not to push him, what if he would never tell Liam anything though?

"I… I'll talk to him. Just promise me that none of you asks him about this or makes comments like before. It really gets to him, okay? And I really can't have him leaving one more time, I can't take it." Even if they really found out where his parents were or whoever, Liam would still be worried as hell to let him go, he'd probably make sure to call Niall every day. And he definitely had a problem with getting too attached as well that he hadn't payed too much attention to until now.

Something the others noticed as well. "God, Liam, if you wanted to have a kid so badly you should've talked to Sophia."

Of course it was just a joke but they all still laughed anyway, Liam just rolled his eyes, half smiling against his will, the thought of Sophia wasn't really nice though, they still had to make up. For the ten millionth time probably. "He's not a kid, he just seems as if he could need someone to take care of him, that's all."

"Well, he pretty much does everything you say, I always knew you'd be a great dad. Did you give him a goodnight kiss too?" You know what, this was very obviously a joke, it's just, Liam's cheeks felt as if they had caught fire and Harry's face quickly went from amused to surprised. "Are you being serious?"

"He looks like a baby what am I supposed to do?" They just bursted out laughing again, even though Liam had been serious, because well, Niall DID look like a baby.

"Well, he's cute." Even though this was worth exactly nothing, he was still kinda happy that the one time Zayn spoke up it wasn't anything against Niall, Liam knew that Harry liked him, now they'd only have Louis left to convince.

The bantering didn't stop, especially after Liam told them to keep their voices down for Niall's sake, which they did anyway after cracking another twelve dad jokes about him. He didn't really mind that much after all, he knew that maybe he was babying Niall too much for a boy his age, but he hadn't complained and everyone agreed that he looked like he could need it so Liam wasn't going to stop.

When it already got so late that he had to yawn as well, the others realized that maybe they should leave at some point, they hadn't really hung out all together during the break, but it was familiar so maybe that's why no one really noticed how this was Liam's place and not theirs. They did help to clean up though and Liam got a little anxious because it had been two hours ago that he had taken Niall to bed, he felt like he needed to check on him. But he never got to it. "Oh, can I check on him instead?"

Harry's 'offer' nearly made Liam drop a plate, DID he want him to check on Niall? "Well, you… sure, I mean…"

"Okay." His smile was really happy, it's not that Liam thought he'd do something to Niall or that he'd do a better job at it than Harry, no, actually his real problem was that he really wanted to check on Niall himself, for the sake of doing it. But he couldn't say that so he got to watch Harry's back for a bit before quickly looking somewhere else as he felt Louis' stare on his face.

"Good job, Liam, you got my boyfriend sucked in." Liam was a bit confused when he looked up, in his thoughts still picturing how Niall was awake because of a nightmare and Harry would be there instead of him. 

"What do you mean, Harry-"

"Harry nearly talked mine and Zayn's ears off with how cute Niall is while you were gone to bring him to bed. And now you're fighting over who gets to check on him." No idea if Louis was mad deep down, he chuckled a bit, so Liam hoped it was fine, all he knew was that he should've been happy about Harry liking Niall so much but there was another feeling that he tried to ignore.

Not very successfully though. "We're not fighting, he's mine."

"Here we go." Both Zayn and Louis laughed at what had slipped out of Liam's mouth, gosh, this was fucking embarrassing, why had he just said that?! Well, it was true, but Liam could've tried to swallow his jealousy down for five more minutes or so, it was just unfair and he didn't even know why he felt this way about Niall, he just did.

They cleaned up quietly for a bit, well Liam did, Louis talked about whether he had already bought diapers and Zayn laughed along while Liam pretended that he had no idea what was going on. The only good aspect was that if they saw Niall as a child then no one would want to be mean to him or kick him out, right? Not that Liam would ever let that happen.

His act about not caring got destroyed once Harry came back, undefinable expression on his face that nearly got Liam as alarmed as his words. "Hey, guys, come for a second, okay?"

"What happened?" Liam immediately put everything he had been holding onto the counter, not even questioning why Harry wanted them all to come, Liam would be the first one there anyway.

Already expecting the worst, he nearly fell into the guest room, the door was open, which didn't make any sense at all because Niall was still tightly asleep, nothing had happened at all, except for the fact that he was all curled up now, with his hand under his cheek and the other really close to his mouth, god, he looked so small in this bed, Liam's heart was melting. "Is that your shirt, Li?"

Harry's voice next to him nearly caused him to flinch, he hadn't noticed the others coming to stand next to him, but they were now, all of them creepily staring at Niall, at least Liam thought that that's what they were doing, he wasn't willing to look away from the sleeping boy all curled up in bed.. "What do you… oh."

He was right, Liam hadn't noticed before but Niall had his fist clenched around something which turned out to be his shirt, the one Niall had worn all day and Liam's heart made a jump that it really shouldn't have made as he quickly tried to come up with something to say.

"Well… he probably didn't notice that he's holding it, I mean… " Or maybe he had, not that Liam wanted him to cuddle with his shirt, why would he.

"That's so damn cute. I could stare at him sleeping all day long." They all turned to look at Harry for that comment, but he just shrugged before smirking at Liam. "Li, if you don't want him anymore, can I keep him?"

"Shut up, Harry, he's not some thing you just give to someone else. Besides that, I'm keeping him and not you, so stop staring at him as if he's some kinda zoo animal." His little outbreak had the others laughing once again, quietly though, at least something, Liam was staring at Niall as well but he told myself that he was just making sure he was alright whereas everyone else had really no reason to be here.

"He's all yours, no worries. And keep your voice down, you don't wanna wake the baby, do you?" And that comment had him snapping.

"Alright, everyone out." Liam was whispering now, because yeah, he had really been talking too loud, but at least the others obeyed when he tried to push them away from the doorframe, throwing one last look at Niall's sleeping figure before closing the door carefully, he could just come back once they had left anyways. "I regret letting you all inside, you know."

Zayn just shrugged, laughing quietly before walking off and Harry rolled his eyes, he was still thinking that getting them all to look at Niall had been a brilliant idea (it hadn't). What surprised Liam the most though was Louis suddenly putting his hand on his shoulder, squeezing a bit before taking a breath, half smiling. "You know… I think I'm okay with him staying now."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and always commenting my stories, I love you guys :)

Nothing really happened for the next few days, Niall was a little bit shy again the morning after the others had been there, but he calmed down once Liam told him about how they were okay with him staying here and how they had said that he was cute, it got him blushing, but that was better than him feeling as if Liam wanted to get rid of him. Which was the last thing on his mind really, everything he did was just so that he wouldn't scare or make Niall sad in any way, he never ever asked about the boy's past even though he had promised the others that he would, Liam just didn't have the heart to do it whenever he looked into those eyes. He'd warm up and come to Liam himself, that's what he hoped at least.

Niall did warm up a little bit, at least he stopped thanking Liam for everything twelve million times a day plus he also wasn't too scared anymore of approaching him if he needed cuddles, that was Liam's favorite part. That boy needed a lot affection actually, at first Liam had just found it really, really cute, it's just, the reason why he was like this wasn't cute at all. Liam didn't need to know anyone's background to see how deprived Niall was of touches and of having someone there who cared, a friend or a parent, and it got him even more eager to be all of that at once, which of course he couldn't, but Liam was really trying his best because he had grown to like Niall so ridiculously much it was insane, he was like his long lost little brother or something.

"Did Harry finally stop texting you?" They were lying on the couch, watching movies, since Liam had found out that Niall didn't know any of his favorites, this had kinda become a thing for them, he had also taken him to the movies a few days before, so that was also why they had so much popcorn with them right now, Niall was like obsessed with it and Liam loved seeing him happy.

"Well I… I told him we're busy but I don't wanna be rude and just ignore him." That was the only thing he used his phone for really, well, sometimes he played games too, Liam had downloaded him some because as expected, Niall was way too shy to just go ahead and buy stuff without asking, not like it would have mattered.

"Tell him I said you have to put the phone away, then it's my fault." His head was in the crook of Liam's shoulder, thighs brushing and his hair tickling Liam's cheek whenever he leaned it against him, or kissed the top of his head because why not, Niall was so cute and small snuggled up next to him, another reason why Liam loved watching movies with Niall. 

"Okay, I did." With that, he leaned forward a bit to place the phone on the table in front of them, Liam made sure that his arm wouldn't slip from his shoulders, immediately tugging him back into him once he was done. Mentally, Liam made a note to tell Harry to stop texting Niall all the time, they had only met twice, a second time when Harry and Louis had shown up uninvited (once again), but since their first meeting two weeks or so had passed. Not that Liam was jealous, no, but Niall shouldn't feel obliged to text back when he didn't even want to, besides, they had a movie to watch.

For a few minutes, no one talked, they just watched the screen, Liam felt himself smiling a little bit over Niall shoving way more popcorn into his mouth than it seemed to be possible for his size. He liked the way Niall nearly seemed to purr at his fingers brushing through the soft brown hair as well, Liam hardly noticed doing it anymore, his thoughts were somewhere completely else, because he needed to tell Niall something, he just didn't know how and he had been trying to push it away the whole day now so he'd have to speak up at some point. "Hey, Ni…"

"Hm?" Niall couldn't answer properly because of his full mouth, Liam sighed quietly, stopping the stroking for a second, why did he have to always get into such nerve wrecking situations?

"You know, umm… well, look, Sophia kinda keeps bugging me about how we haven't seen each other in forever and I… I told her it would be fine if we go out tonight." Yeah… Liam and Sophia had made up again, only a few days ago, she still had no idea about Niall, no one did besides the boys and all the hype from the mall had quickly died down as well so she couldn't have found out accidentally.

The tension going through Niall's body was very noticeable, he took his time to answer, pressing tighter into Liam, making him regret saying yes to Sophia. Sure, she was Liam's girlfriend, but she'd survive without him, but Niall on the other hand… not so much. "Oh, okay. Are you… are you gonna be back later?"

"Of course… I don't know when though, but I don't have to leave for a while, okay? And you can always text me if anything happens, actually… I could ask Harry and Louis to come over and keep you company… if you want them to." Because Liam didn't, but he couldn't say that out loud, of course he was scared to leave Niall alone, and incredibly worried, so much he had nearly cancelled before when he had seen the boy's smile after Liam had made him popcorn. Still, leaving him alone with Harry and Louis wouldn't really ease his worries, they probably wouldn't say anything and they'd be really nice but he kinda had some issues which involved Liam wanting to be the one Niall liked the most. He did, but he also wanted it to stay this way, he would've asked Zayn to come over because he was less likely to try and coax Niall into being his new best friend, unlike Harry, but Zayn and Perrie were on vacation for a few days so that idea didn't quite work out. 

"No, I… I'll be fine… I'm really tired anyway, I'll just sleep or watch some TV, I'm okay." His voice was shaking a bit as Liam wrapped his other arm around him as well, feeling even worse when Niall held onto it with both his hands, he didn't want Liam to leave and if there was one thing he wasn't, it was tired. But what could Liam have done? Sophia would throw a fit if he took him along, besides, Liam didn't wanna explain all of this in a public place AND while Niall was there listening, somehow he had a feeling she wouldn't take it all too well, something Niall could never know about though.

"Alright…"Then he hesitated, lightly pressing his lips into Niall's hair once more, he should've waited with telling him, until the movie was over at least, because that had been one way to kill the mood. "I'm really sorry, babe."

"Why? It's fine, I'll be okay, don't worry." His short laugh was so forced that Liam felt his stomach drop, there was nothing he could've done to ease that feeling though, he just held Niall even tighter, burying his face in the boy's hair, trying to swallow that guilt down somehow.

They hadn't been apart ever since that day Liam had found him again, it couldn't stay like this forever but that didn't change the fact that he kinda wished it wouldn't have to happen tonight. "Niall…"

"Yeah?" Now he was whispering, Liam could only guess why, probably because he didn't want him to hear how tight his throat was but Liam did anyway, releasing a breath before lifting his head again while Niall stayed like this, his face pressed into Liam's shoulder, half his weight on the older boy.

"You… you do like me, don't you? And you like staying with me too, right?" Liam couldn't help but ask this, he had to be sure, 100%, that if he left, he wouldn't come back to an empty place, this was literally his biggest fear, Niall running away and Liam never finding him again. The younger boy seemed to enjoy living here, but who knows, right, Liam had a feeling that even after one year of this or more, in the back of his mind he'd always be scared of losing Niall out of sight, sometimes he even had nightmares about it that forced him to go check in the guest room for the ten millionth time, he had even thought about locking the front door at night and hiding the key, but then again, he couldn't do that, could he? He couldn't lock Niall in here as much as he wanted to, as much as he knew that it was the best for the boy.

"Y-Yeah… of course I do…. why?" There was no need to see his face, Liam knew that he was blushing, still letting go of him with one hand to wrap his arm around Liam's stomach instead. God, he loved cuddling with Niall so much, he had never met anyone who liked to be this close to him all the time, and only him.

"I just… I just don't wanna come back and find out you're gone…" It sounded like Liam had no trust in him when in reality he was just overly protective, Niall alone on the streets gave him shivers, he felt so responsible for him already. Which wasn't a bad thing though, Liam wanted it to be this way after all. 

"Oh… I'm not gonna leave, Li…I'll still be here." He sounded rather serious, though his voice was quiet as he nuzzled his face into Liam's shirt a little bit further, their legs bumping together now.

"Promise?" Liam murmured after a few seconds of silence and after he had pretended to watch the screen for a while, absently picking up his previous activity, stroking Niall's hair gently, just this time all down his neck and back as well, feeling the younger boy trembling sightly, but not attempting to pull away, because Liam would've stopped of course, if Niall would have just said one word then he would have never forced him into anything at all. But it was quite the opposite actually. 

"Yeah…promise." Calming down a little bit at that, yet still being consumed by guilt, Liam just wrapped both his arms around the boy cuddled into him, squeezing him as tightly as he thought would be alright before placing a kiss on the top of his head, then some more, simply because he could. Deep down, Liam knew that Niall still had doubts that he couldn't seem to free the boy from, it's not that Liam didn't understand where this was coming from, but he still wished that he'd be able to change that. Show Niall that he wouldn't randomly change his mind about anything, or worse, get tired of him and throw him out, Liam had been clearly aware what kind of decision he had made those few weeks ago, that this was permanent, and it was serious, maybe the most serious commitment he had ever made.

"Thank you, babe, I'm sorry I always bring this up, it's just… I'm scared." It was hard admitting that but it was the truth, because Liam was scared yeah, scared about losing Niall, about finding out what his past had really been like, of telling Sophia and his parents, telling anybody really. Because as confident as he pretended to be around the others, even around Niall most of the time, he still had his doubts. Not because of Niall, he would do anything for this boy, just about everything else really, about how things would turn out.

"Me too…" Niall whispered, making Liam sigh quietly as he placed yet another kiss, hating himself for sharing his problems with Niall, that's not what he was supposed to do, it was his job to make sure the boy was alright and didn't have anything to worry about.

So even though his thoughts were still running wild, Liam decided to just change the topic, with the movie still on in the background, he swallowed quickly before loosening his arms around Niall, poking his side a bit in an attempt to cheer up the mood. "But you don't have to be scared, Ni, I'm taking care of everything, I promise. And I'll be back home soon later and tomorrow we'll do something fun, okay? We could like… dye your hair or something."

It had just been a joke obviously, Liam half had to force himself to chuckle though, but then he imagined Niall with dyed hair and it became more realistic, well, that was until the younger boy lifted his head all of a sudden to stare at him, his fringe almost falling into his eyes, he seemed a little bit stunned. "I…"

"You what?" Liam's amusement died as he watched Niall, the boy didn't look mad or sad though, he just seemed a little surprised if anything.

"It's funny that you just said that." His elbow dug a bit uncomfortably into Liam's stomach as Niall sat up a little more straight, causing Liam's hand to slip into the dip of his waist, when suddenly, Niall was the one giggling. God, that was probably Liam's favorite sound in the whole world. "I used to dye my hair, you know, when I was younger, like twelve or so."

"What? Really? What color?" It was so hard right now to hold back his laughter, but Liam didn't want to offend Niall for anything in the world so he bit into the inside of his cheek, it was a rare occasion that Niall shared things like that, he hated talking about himself, especially if it was about his childhood, or his past in general, so Liam appreciated finding out a little more, just playing with the boy's hair, keeping him close by his side. 

"Blonde. Don't laugh now, Liam, it didn't look bad at all, everyone said it was really cool." Niall with blonde hair seemed unimaginable actually, Liam stared at him, trying to figure out how it might look like, but he just started grinning, a little bit also because he was happy that Niall seemed to be so excited about this, he even attempted to sit up after all, a sparkle in his eyes, as if he had suddenly remembered something else. "I can show you! I got blonde hair in the picture in my passport."

This changed things, a lot actually, Liam had never seen said passport, he had also started doubting at one point that it actually existed, not that he would've ever asked Niall that, or accused him of anything, it's just, he knew how scared that boy had been of Liam doing anything to him, maybe it had just been a tiny lie to make things easier. But apparently, it had been the truth. "Oh, you do?"

Acting innocent, Liam was glad to see that Niall didn't notice how curious he actually was, for more reasons than seeing the blonde hair, he was nodding rapidly, already pulling away from the older boy. "Yeah, I'll go get it, okay? Wait here." 

Though it got really cold as soon as Niall had gotten up, Liam still smirked as he watched him being all clumsy, face a bit flushed because he had almost tripped before half running off around the corner to the guest room like the cute little bean he was. "Don't hurt yourself, please!"

There was some relief involved as well as Liam chuckled to himself, not getting an answer to what he had yelled after Niall, but he wasn't too worried because he could still hear the boy moving around, besides, he hadn't only managed to change the topic, but he had also saved them from a very awkward conversation about 'I really trust you but you have to show me your passport anyway'. Because he needed to see if it existed, otherwise he couldn't take Niall anywhere at all, well, he COULD, but he'd rather not risk it. 

So lucky for him, a very cheerful Niall came back not only five minutes later, waving something around in his hand that took the last weight off of Liam's chest just as the boy plopped down next to him, way too close of course, but normal for them by now. "See? It looked good."

Niall almost shoved the open passport into Liam's face, he had to blink a few times before actually seeing something, taking it out of Niall's hand then to inspect it himself, trying not to be too obvious about reading through the stuff on there rather than looking at the picture. Niall James Horan. That was his full name, he hadn't lied about anything at all, not his first name or his birthday or where he came from, it was all true. "How old were you when that picture was taken?"

Just to not seem suspicious, Liam had started smirking, looking at the picture longer than necessary now, it was really cute after all, plus Niall really did look good with blonde hair, who would've thought that? "Um… fourteen."

Maybe that's why he still kinda looked like that, only three years ago Niall had gotten a picture taken not thinking anything bad, and then whatever had happened had put him on the streets, for two years, or at least that's what Liam thought he remembered the boy saying that night he had taken him home. But who knows what had really happened, they never talked about it, Liam didn't ask despite Louis urging him to, it was just, Niall would talk eventually right, if he was ready, Liam wouldn't push anything, he cared too much. "Well, you definitely didn't grow much, did you?"

"Yes, I did!" Niall pouting was the cutest thing ever, but Liam liked it especially because Niall had only started doing things like that after warming up to him more during the past two weeks, he was still very shy sometimes, and thanking him way too many times, but he was more lively now as well, even if he acted like a child mostly, which was fine, Liam was happy if he got to take care of him, he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Laughing, Liam handed the passport back now, not wanting to be too nosy, he just pressed a quick kiss to Niall's forehead, amused by the fact that the blush never failed to creep into the younger's face at actions like this. "Maybe a tiny little bit, alright. So what do you think, should we really dye your hair?" 

Running his finger's through the brown fringe, Niall leaned slightly into Liam's touch, the idea seemed to excite him even though Liam had just been joking, but now that he thought about it, maybe Niall really did want his hair to be blonde again, he had probably had it until… whatever had happened and then it had all grown out, even if it didn't seem too long, but the thought still made him sad. "I don't know… what do you think?"

Apparently, Liam's opinion was very important even though it seemed as if though Niall had already made up his mind, maybe he was just too shy to admit it, that happened often, but Liam could look right through him anyways, smiling softly. "I think we should try it, if you don't like it anymore, we can just put brown over it again, right? There's nothing to loose, and I bet it'd look really good though, I feel like every color would suit you."

"Really?" God, his eyes were sparkling at the compliment, Liam moved his hand now, rubbing Niall's cheek softly with his thumb before wrapping his arm around the boy's waist again, having him falling against him in no time. How could someone be this cute, be this happy about every single tiny compliment? The answer gave Liam a sting, he knew why Niall was behaving this way, why he craved Liam's approval and attention so much, almost in a way as if he saw him as like, his big brother, which in some senses, Liam felt like he was. But then again, it was kinda different too, not less, just different.

"Of course, Ni. We're gonna do that tomorrow, alright? And we can get some take out too afterwards, I heard it'll be storming the whole day so we can't go out too much anyways, sound good?" They didn't go many places in general, well, sometimes they did, but one thing Liam had avoided doing ever since he had found Niall was meeting up with other people, hardly anyone knew about the younger boy, not even his family, and Liam didn't want to leave him home alone all the time. Besides that, he enjoyed spending time with Niall too much anyways, watching movies with him, cuddling with him, making sure he got enough to eat and sometimes being rewarded by Niall telling him something more personal about himself. Not too often though.

"Yeah, sounds good." His smile was really big now as he snuggled into Liam's side like before, his arm wrapping around the older's stomach immediately, face nuzzled in the crook of his shoulder, all happy now, letting out a content sigh as Liam kissed the top of his head before holding him close, warmth spreading all through his body. Niall was so easily pleased most of the time, and so easy to make happy as well, Liam wanted to see him smile every second of the day. 

They watched the rest of the movie then, Niall stuffed popcorn into his mouth until everything was gone, but Liam didn't offer to make more this time because they still had dinner to eat and he didn't want the boy to be too full already.

It was kinda like, they had a daily routine almost, something Liam obviously hadn't had since years now, but he found it was important for Niall, to make him see that he was included in Liam's life, also to bring a bit of structure into this mess, though he tried not to let it show in front of Niall that it was a mess at all. He wanted the younger boy to think that everything was just perfectly fine, it would be of course, especially now since Niall really did have a passport, but Liam would have to work out some things first before he could bring the boy with him on tour.

A few hours later, the kitchen was finally cleaned up again, Niall was well fed and seemed rather happy, well, he did until Liam carefully mentioned that he'd have to leave in a bit, which was when he pulled Niall closer by his waist, pressing a kiss to his temple in an attempt to make that frown disappear. "Hey, I'm not gonna be gone for long, I promise. I can still call Harry and Louis to come and wait with you if you want."

"No, 'm gonna be fine…" It sounded anything besides that, Niall leaned his head against Liam's shoulder, immediately getting more cuddly and causing Liam to sigh, it'd be so hard to leave.

"Okay, babe, you know how to work your phone, right? So in case you get too lonely and you change your mind, you can just tell Harry to come yourself." He would come for sure, Liam didn't feel too happy with that solution, but Niall's well being came in front of everything, so he simply continued talking, also a little bit to calm himself down. "Or call me, if anything happens, I just want you to be alright, Ni. Also, you know how the DVD player works, right? And the TV? And where everything in the kitchen is? You can absolutely eat and drink anything you want, alright, but don't eat too many sweets, okay, i's not good for you. But just use and take everything you want, I know I tell you that a lot but it's because I really don't mind."

"I know, thank you, Liam." Not a very excited answer, Niall had both his arms wrapped around Liam's waist now, apparently not willing to let go anytime soon, which was fine, Liam still had a few more minutes so he hugged back, a little tighter, trying to somehow deal with the guilt that was about to choke him.

"You're welcome, Ni, it'll be fine, okay? Maybe try and sleep a little bit, I won't be back too late but if you get tired, you know, better bring a blanket if you watch TV so you won't get cold and I'll carry you to bed if you fall asleep on the couch." Once again, Liam might add, because it happened a lot that Niall slept in during a movie or whenever, he really was like a child in that sense, he had never stayed up longer than 11 pm. Which was a good thing though, he really needed the sleep, especially because, well… he obviously hadn't gotten much out there.

"Okay, but Liam…" Then he broke off for a second, suddenly turning to hug Liam properly, arms still wrapped around the older boy's waist, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck like he always would, it hurt Liam this time, because of how obvious Niall didn't want him to go. "Um… when you come back and… and I'm asleep… can you still come say goodnight?" 

Oh, why was he so adorable and such a poor little thing, this was not making things any easier for Liam, he held on a little tighter, burying his face in the messy brown hair, smelling his own shampoo. "Of course I'll come and say goodnight, Ni, I always do, don't I?"

"Yeah…" And it was true, if Niall didn't fall asleep right next to Liam on the couch, then he always insisted on the older boy coming to tug him in, though he was too shy to actually say it out loud, but Liam knew by the way Niall always wasted extra much time going to the guest room to watch whether Liam was coming or not. Well, and then of course there where the nights when he so obviously wanted to sleep in Liam's bed that it almost hurt to watch how hard it was for him to try and speak up, not that he ever actually did, it was always Liam who offered it whenever he noticed. Which, of course, got him worried sometimes whether Niall was lying awake, alone, because he was just too shy to come to him. 

Liam kept holding onto the smaller boy for a while, rocking them gently, thinking about how little it took for almost his whole life to become something completely different, of course, the last three years had been unbelievable anyways, but never ever would've Liam thought that something like THIS could happen to him. If he hadn't left earlier that night, hadn't had a fight with his girlfriend, or if Niall would've been better at pretending, none of this would've happened. And to be completely honest, Liam hadn't thought it through as he had dragged Niall to the cash machine, hadn't even been worried about taking him home.

Some people may think of it as annoying, now that it was clear Niall wasn't a danger or a crazy stalker at all, but Liam didn't even want to find the boy's family or whoever at this point, he didn't feel like sending him anywhere at all, he'd just keep Niall for as long as he wanted to be with him. Right now, it seemed like forever, which was good, because Liam wouldn't let him go anywhere out of his reach.

"Alright, I… I think I should get ready." Well, it was too late for getting ready, Liam would just have to go in his old jeans and plain shirt without his hair being made since he had rather spent his time cuddling with Niall.

"Yeah, okay…" Niall let go abruptly, he was trying hard to keep his facial expressions under control, rubbing around his cheek and eye, looking anywhere but at Liam. Great, this was not gonna end well.

"Come on." Not thinking about it, Liam took the boy's free hand into his, softly pulling him to the door, they hadn't been holding hands too often, sometimes, when Niall was scared, he'd grab Liam's hand and almost rip it off, but he didn't seem to mind it now without a reason either, just following along like a lost puppy. Usual behavior, actually. "So, in case you have to go outside or whatever happens, here's the spare key, I'll put it right here, alright?"

Nodding, Niall refused to give Liam his hand back so he had to try and slip into his shoes with only one after placing the key on the counter next to the door, his heart dropping as he stood straight again, watching Niall torturing his bottom lip while squeezing Liam's fingers way too tightly. 

"Hey, it's okay, I promise I'll be back before midnight." It was only like, 8pm, so that wasn't very long, but Niall still looked so miserable that Liam sighed deeply, drawing him in closer to press a kiss onto his forehead, still holding onto his hand, his thumb brushing over Niall's. "Be good, yeah?"

"'kay…" Why was this so hard seriously, Niall shouldn't have been so attached to Liam and Liam shouldn't have felt this overly protective, they only knew each other since a little over three weeks or so. 

As horrible as Liam felt for it, he ruffled the boy's hair then, slowly letting go of his hand, trying to smile comfortingly which of course didn't get returned by Niall, but Liam was pretty sure those were tears glistering in the boy's eyes right before he pulled the front door closed, feeling his heart shatter into a million pieces.

 

——————

 

None of this had been Liam's idea to begin with, it had also been Sophia who had requested they meet up in a random bar instead of like, a restaurant, maybe it was because she didn't want it to be a date. And Liam didn't want that either in all honesty, because they had 'made up', but not really, it was kinda weird now, so he thought that maybe he should first of all tell her about Niall before they'd start yet another fight right after making up for real. Sometimes Liam was so tired of this relationship, he thought about just not texting back anymore or not picking the phone up ever again, but unfortunately, he was a little too mature for that.

All the way there, his thoughts were revolving around Niall only though, literally the second he got into the taxi, Liam already wanted to stop the driver and get back upstairs, he was so ridiculously worried, it almost hurt. But Niall would be fine, right? He wouldn't just run away, he liked Liam way too much, it was very obvious, hopefully he'd just watch a bit TV and then fall asleep quickly. Or he could also make a mess in the whole flat and Liam would happily clean everything up by himself, just so that the young boy would be fine.

Luckily it wasn't very crowded in the bar, it was further outside, to lower the risk of Liam getting recognized, he wouldn't have minded some distraction tonight though, because as soon as he spotted his girlfriend, Liam wasn't very sure whether he was even allowed to call her that any longer. Why did she look pissed already? He was five minutes too late, FIVE! "Hey, babe."

"Hey." Great, this was just going perfect, she sounded pretty reserved, turning her head so that Liam's lips only brushed her cheek, on pure purpose. This was gonna be a fun night. Not.

"You okay?" Obviously not, Liam sat down opposite of her, watching her playing with the straw in her drink, as if she was bored with him already. Why had he bothered coming again, made Niall sad, for _this_? 

"Well, as okay as you can be in a crappy bar like this." Liam could've said a lot of things as Sophia almost snapped at him, taking a sip then before leaning back, giving Liam a good sight at her full appearance. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who had thought that there was no need to try too hard.

"You know why we can't go to-"

"I know, Liam, because your fangirls will hang all over you and god forbid you don't take a picture with every single one of them." Awesome.

"Is that what you wanna talk about? Because if so then maybe I can catch my taxi outside if I'm really quick." A joke obviously, though joking felt like the last thing Liam wanted to do right now, he barely felt like ordering something as the waitress came while Sophia was pouting, not even bothering to answer Liam. Hadn't they talked this out a few days ago? Over the phone, but that still counted, didn't it? "What's the matter now?"

"Nothing's the matter, except for the fact that we haven't seen each other in weeks." Yeah, Liam definitely had to tell her, even though, he wasn't quite sure if he had met up with her even if Niall didn't exist. "And it's not making you very trustworthy, you know."

"You called Louis behind my back and told him I'm an asshole, I don't think you can talk about being trustworthy." Though that had been quite a while ago, and actually Liam hadn't taken any offense in that, besides Sophia hardly blinked as he reminded her of that, she just took her drink again, looking annoyed if anything.

"We already talked about this on the phone, why are you bringing this up again?" Was she being serious?!

"Why am _I_ bringing this up again?! You're the one who is behaving as if we're still fighting, I thought we made up!" It was very loud in the bar so Liam didn't feel to bad about raising his voice a little bit, not angry or anything, he just couldn't believe that he had to say those things, hell, Liam didn't even know what their fight had been about!

"We did make up, I'm still mad at you though." Was that even possible?

"So why did you want to see me then?" This was going nowhere, Liam leaned back as well now, feeling defeated, something was wrong with her, with everybody, he should've stayed home with Niall, then at least that boy wouldn't be mad at him if everyone else was. 

"Why did I want to see _you_? So does that mean you didn't even to come, Liam, is that what you're saying? That it's all my fault and you are completely innocent and you just said yes to seeing me because you feel like it's your duty or something?" What?!

"No? What are you even talking about? Look, can you please just tell me where we stand and what the hell is going on, I don't get a word you're saying." The thing was, she didn't even LOOK mad, but she was, apparently, and Liam was fucking frustrated, he was going to punch the wall any second. 

"Alright, I used to think you're smarter, Liam, but just so you can understand what this is about, just because we made up doesn't mean that I'm simply just going to trust you again. I don't, not after what you did, and you can deny it for as often as you want, but the fact that you didn't want to see me once in weeks is more than just suspicious." She still thought that he had been cheating, hell, this was literally about that one night he had stayed out too late, how'd he make her understand that even if he wanted to cheat on her, he wouldn't even know how to keep it a secret for so long. Anyways, he wasn't the kinda guy to do something like this, you'd think his girlfriend knew that.

"I didn't cheat on you, never, and I explained to you what happened that night, the guys wanted me to stay longer, that's all, so why-"

"What about the last three weeks then, hm, Liam? Have a good excuse for that too?" Sophia snapped, continuing to sip at her drink and Liam just buried his face in his hands, he couldn't believe this was happening, he had never planned on telling her like this, but what else was he supposed to do? She'd find out at some point, everyone would probably.

"Okay, listen." Trying not to speak too loud, stay rather calm, which was very hard with his girlfriend looking at him as if he was the biggest idiot in the world, Liam leaned forward a bit, cursing himself for not having made up some plan before on how to say this best. "Something happened."

"Aw, did you get her pregnant, honey?" This would be a lot easier if Sophia wasn't this sarcastic, seriously. 

"I didn't cheat on you." Was all Liam said to that, not interested in yet another discussion about this, he looked over her shoulder now, hoping to get this out without stuttering too much. "Look, I… you know when you called me? When I was out, like, three weeks ago, and you accused me of cheating on you every single time I'm away or whatever. Well anyways, I really did leave even though you never believed me, I didn't want anyone to hear our conversation so I went into the park nearby, because it was silent there. Well, and there was this boy, you know, and I thought he was a fan at first, but he wasn't, he-"

"Well, not every single person on the planet is your fan, Liam, maybe you need to get your head out of the clouds a little bit." Glaring at her for a second, Liam pretended not to have heard that comment, she obviously thought this was a joke or something.

"He wasn't a fan, as I said. But he looked pretty young and I was kinda worried, because well, it was really late, and I don't think kids should be hanging around in parks like that at a time like this, so anyways, I wanted to show him the underground station, because I thought maybe he didn't know the way back to his parents or school class or whoever he was staying with, but well… he lied very obviously about that, but he took the five bucks I gave him, but then as he left I… I still watched him for a bit because it was very obvious that he had in fact, nowhere to stay at all. There were these guys that called him shitty things and emptied his backpack and… and I decided to go over and help." The memory of this wasn't nice at all, Liam remembered how helpless he had felt, relieved that those guys had run away immediately, but that still had left a very small, lonely and obviously scared little Niall. 

"And?" Sophia still didn't seem very captivated by that story, well, she would get mad in a second or two anyways.

"Well, the boy was obviously homeless, and he was really scared of me, but I couldn't just leave him there all alone and those guys had taken all his money so I took him to a cash machine to get some more to give to him, but well… how much do you give someone like that, right? He's gonna use it all up in no time and in the end I would've helped no one. So… after talking with him a little bit, I… I felt really guilty and bad for him and… I told him it'd be fine if he came back to my apartment so we could figure something out there." This time, Sophia almost spit her whole drink over the table, for which Liam was pretty satisfied, finally a reaction he had expected.

"What?! You took a homeless boy into your apartment!? And we have to go into crappy bars because you are scared of someone recognizing you? And then you go and pick up strangers from the street?!" It did sound pretty intense if you put it like that, but if she had known and seen Niall that day, she would've understood.

Liam just stayed calm, he finally felt in charge of the situation again, a little relieved too because he had finally managed to tell her what he should have done all along. "Yeah. He didn't know who I am obviously, he first of all was too scared to come but he gave in anyways and you should've seen him, he looks like he's 12 or something, but he's 17, and I let him shower and gave him some of my clothes and I also got him pizza, he was so cute and excited about everything, he fell asleep on the couch and-"

"Liam, Liam, stop for a second." Maybe he had gotten a bit carried away, because Sophia seemed as if she hadn't even been listening anymore, her facial expressions undefinable as she leaned forward and asked the question that had been determined to come. "Is he still at your place? Right now?"

"Yes." Liam answered without hesitation, watching her jaw drop, so he quickly hurried to keep on explaining, as if that would change anything about he situation. Well, she could call him dumb and reckless and god knows what, Liam wouldn't change his mind anyways. "Look, he left again the next day, I gave him some stuff to take with him, I even gave him my number and told him he could stay for longer but he wanted to leave and said he didn't wanna bother me. Well, it was really cold the next days, and raining, I was so worried, it was insane, so I went looking for him and I did find him. He was really sick, and there are even pictures of me getting him in my car but anyways, he's been staying with me since then and I'm not intending on letting him leave again, he really needs a place to stay and someone to look after him. So that's why I've been busy the last few weeks, it's because of Niall."

"Liam, that is… I really don't know what to say." Apparently, suddenly Liam was trustworthy enough for her to believe him that story, but how'd he make something like that up anyways? At least she wasn't yelling or getting mad, she was just speechless and surprised. "His name's Niall?"

"Yeah, he turned seventeen on the day I met him, and don't look at me like that, it's all true because he's shown me his passport, he's from Ireland." Well, and that was about everything Liam knew about the boy's background, he didn't even know how Niall had gotten to London, or why, and he had absolutely no clue or even a tiny idea either.

"Ireland? Well then… what's he doing here? And… how did he even end up on the streets? I mean, there's gotta be a reason if he's just a kid." The funny thing was, this was the first time in a while that they had a normal conversation, Sophia took this a lot easier than Louis had, which maybe had something to do with the fact that she obviously still had to progress this, maybe she didn't even fully believe Liam yet. Well if so he could've just gotten his phone out and shown her the picture of Niall sleeping that he had taken a few days ago for no apparent reason. That boy was just so adorable.

"I don't know, I…all I know is that he's been living on the streets for probably two years. He's really shy, I don't wanna push it, I just… I really care about him, you know and he… he's warming up to me and it's so cute and-"

"Wait, so you intend to keep him with you? Just like that? And you're not even scared to leave him all alone in you apartment? What if he's like… a crazy stalker fan or whatever?" Here we go again.

"He's not, trust me, Louis has been holding me a few lectures about that, but he had no idea who I am, you should've been there yourself, but I can assure you that he's just a scared kid. Besides, the boys came over to meet him and he's been terrified of them, so…" If Liam had to explain that again he'd probably go insane, talking so much about Niall really gave him the urge to check his phone, just to be sure, even if he was pretty certain that Niall wouldn't text him in fear he could be annoying Liam. As if that was even a possible scenario.

"So who else knows about this? Not many people obviously, it would've been all over the internet." True, that was another one of Liam's problems, he couldn't let this story get public, for Niall's sake, but he'd have to tell someone obviously, his management, the crew once they went on tour, probably also his parents, but that could wait for a while, at least until he had figured out what had really happened to Niall.

"Only the boys do, well, and you." And even though Liam had thought that this would get a lot more difficult, Sophia suddenly seemed to have calmed down, she just nodded slowly, watching something over Liam's shoulder before looking right back at him, an expression on her face that he couldn't read.

"I wanna meet him."

 

—————

 

Liam didn't know why he had said yes to Sophia's request about wanting to see Niall, tonight to top it off, but her arguments had been really convincing, because it was true, Liam should've told her sooner. Also, he was pretty sure that Niall would be nervous no matter if he had known beforehand, plus another reason, which probably was Liam's biggest motivation, he would come home already at like 10:30, which was one and a half hours sooner than he had promised and that was a big relief, he needed to check on Niall, make sure he was alright, he had been away for long enough.

"Maybe I should text him, you know, just to give him a warning, he's really, really shy, so don't be like, offended or anything." They were already walking into the building towards the elevator, Liam had given Sophia a speech already about whatever she was allowed to say and do around the younger boy, she had rolled her eyes mostly but agreed anyway.

"He has a phone?" Right, Liam hadn't mentioned the mall incident, he felt no need to, even though maybe Sophia had seen the pictures of Niall there, but then again, it's not like she stalked Liam, she was pissed at him after all.

"He does, I bought him one, like, two weeks ago, I also bought him clothes and stuff, he's been pretty embarrassed about it though, he hates when I spend money on him, but I don't mind doing it at all." He got a very weird look for that that he didn't know how to take, but Sophia let out a short laugh then before pressing the button to get the doors to close.

"You should hear yourself talking about him." She was shaking her head slowly, Liam wasn't sure if that was good or not, actually, he had been trying to figure that out for a while now, his girlfriend hadn't gotten loud or mad, but as well as Liam knew her, there was a possibility she was just sucking it up now to confront him with it later on.

After all, they were more acting like friends today than a couple, after she had refused his kiss, they were walking with quite a distance between them as they headed for Liam's front door, not that he was gonna complain, he sorta had bigger problems than Sophia right now. Well, not only right now but since a few weeks already. "Let me go in first, okay? I'll just go check if he's awake, wait here for a second."

Somehow Liam hoped that Niall was asleep as he locked up after getting an annoyed nod, he tried to be extra careful, not at all expecting Niall to hear him or even come to him immediately as soon as he took a few steps inside, his heart bumping a bit uncomfortably for a few seconds. But the boy's shoes were still by the door so there really was nothing to worry about, right? He was probably asleep anyways.

"Liam!" Or maybe not.

The least thing Liam had expected to happen was Niall almost coming running to him from the couch as soon as Liam had walked into the apartment a bit, about to call out for the younger boy which turned out to be more than unnecessary as two arms wrapped around his neck before he could even properly check the boy's face. "Hey there, easy, Ni." But he couldn't help but laugh as he curled his arms around the boy's small waist, causing him to loose ground under his feet for a second as he hugged back tightly, relief washing through him. Liam hadn't even realized how anxious he really had been, how scared about coming back to an empty apartment, but here Niall was clinging to him once again, more than just excited to see him. "Are you alright, buddy? Everything good?" 

Putting him down carefully, Niall pulled back a little so that Liam could take a look at his face, his smile was abnormally wide, he just seemed so extremely happy about Liam coming home, it was ridiculous, but it made his heart swell impossibly much, to know how much he was needed. "I'm good, I was just watching this movie and Harry texted me sometimes, but I thought you'd only come home a lot later."

"Yeah, I…" Right, this was the part where Liam had to burst their little bubble of happiness, he still enjoyed Niall's happy face for a few more seconds, moving one hand from the boy's hip to brush the fringe out of his forehead carefully before placing a kiss on the exposed skin, blush immediately coming to creep into Niall's face. His hands had slipped from Liam's shoulders because he would've had to stand on his tip toes, but he was still standing too close, in a way that Liam was blocking the whole front door area, luckily. "Ni, um, there's someone who… wants to meet you." 

Immediately, all color drained from Niall's face, Liam thought he could almost hear the boy's heartbeat speeding up, eyes going a little wider as he somehow automatically grabbed onto Liam's shirt tightly, eyes going wide as he whispered with a shaky voice, staring up at him. "W-Who?"

It felt as if he was betraying the boy, Liam sighed deeply, stroking his cheek for a second before moving to wrap his arm around Niall's shoulders, immediately being hugged almost too tight around the waist. Alright, this was going even worse than expected, and Sophia wasn't even in here yet. "My girlfriend, Sophia. You know, I… I told her about you and she really wanted to come see you, she's not mad or anything, Niall, I promise, I'm right here, okay? Do you think it's okay if she comes in and says hi?" 

"I-I just… I-I d-don't know, I-I…" Now the stuttering was back, Liam hated himself for doing this to him without warning him or anything, Niall was pressing himself into Liam, with his cheek on his chest, not leaving the tiniest space between them. "What i-if… w-what if s-she h-hates m-me?"

"She won't, babe, it's okay, even if she did that would change nothing at all, I'd still like and care about you all the same, alright?" Because he knew that that was Niall's concern, Liam doing the unthinkable and throwing him out or something, but hell, he would've kept Niall with him even if the whole world was against it. "But she will like you, Ni, everyone does." 

There was no answer, Niall just kept clinging to him like he always did whenever he was scared or when something was up, Liam rubbed his hand between the boy's shoulder blades slightly, giving him a few more minutes before gently attempting to pull back a bit, holding Niall's shoulders.

"Can I tell her to come in?" Looking into those big, blue eyes made Liam feel even more like an asshole, though Niall nodded slightly noticeable, still fisting Liam's shirt with one hand. "Okay, it'll be just fine, Ni, I'm here."

Then he pulled Niall with him those few steps, though the boy clearly didn't want to, it was just like when he had met the other three, he half hid behind Liam again as he slowly opened the door more since Sophia had luckily waited outside, giving her a sign to come in. 

At first, it was really awkward, though she was smiling at Niall, going down a bit as if meeting a toddler, which maybe was kinda appropriate because he was smaller than her as well, especially because of her high heels, it seemed a bit weird though, maybe because of how obvious it was that this situation was overwhelming for her as well, she wasn't really… the motherly type. Though still, Liam would've thought that meeting a girl would make Niall less nervous, but apparently, that wasn't the case at all, he seemed to be afraid of everything and everybody. "So you're Niall, huh? I'm Sophia, nice to meet you."

Liam had to actually use all of his strength to pull the boy out from behind him and keep him by his side instead, Niall's fingernails almost painfully digging into his wrist as he stared at Sophia's stretched out hand, she exchanged a quick look with Liam who just shook his head quickly, so she let it drop to her side again, her smile maybe a tad unsure now. "Hi…"

Then there was silence, a really uncomfortable one as well, Niall kept on being clingy, obviously not wiling to let go of Liam anytime soon, he wasn't even looking at Sophia anymore either but at the floor instead, leaning his head against the older boy's arm. It was Liam then who cleared his throat, doing his best to sound somewhat cheerful, as if this was a completely normal situation even if he was worried as hell about the younger boy being so terrified of every other human being. "Okay, let's go sit down, yeah? You still hungry? Or thirsty? I can get you something, Ni, just tell me."

"No thank you…" His voice still wasn't more than a whisper, but at least he walked rather normally next to Liam now, who threw a look back to see whether his girlfriend was following, she seemed unsure but she still took her shoes off anyways before coming after them, apparently trying hard to keep that smile up. Well, she had been the one who had wanted to come, Liam had warned her about this in the taxi, at least fifty times.

Niall had followed Liam's advice about bringing a blanket to watch TV, it gave Liam a sting to imagine the small boy sitting on the couch all by himself and wrapped up like a burrito, all while wearing one of Liam's too big shirts. That was another thing, Niall somehow still wasn't too comfortable with getting clothes or stuff for himself, though he was wearing sweatpants right now that Liam had bought him, he also had the same shirt on that he had been snuggling with that night when he had met the other boys. Not that it wasn't adorable and made Liam coo because it did, he just wished Niall would put a little more trust into this, into him, but then again, considering what had happened to him, how could he ever fully trust Liam?

"Do you wanna watch the movie to the end?" Because it was still on of course once they reached the couch, Niall just shrugged barely noticeable, not even hesitating before making sure that he wouldn't end up in between the other two but next to Liam only. In fact, he pulled his legs up once they all settled down, hugging them to his chest while pressing into Liam's side. This was gonna be a very long night.

"So…" Sophia started as she sat down as well, knowing to keep her distance luckily, she actually sat at the other end, which was funny considering that it was her Liam was dating yet he had his arm around the boy next to him, who had started shivering now by the way, not a good sign. "I hope Liam hasn't poisoned you yet with his terrible cooking."

It was a joke, of course, which apparently didn't work out, Liam threw a worriedly look down at Niall, not even seeing his mouth twitch or anything, in fact, he was just barely shaking his head, looking at Sophia for maybe half a second. "N-No…"

"Well, that wouldn't have surprised me. I've been trying to teach him but he never seems to learn, or maybe he just doesn't want to." Maybe that was an indirect critic at Liam, it probably was but he ignored it, fully focused on Niall now, squeezing him a bit before reaching for the blanket while letting out a forced laugh. What else was he supposed to do other than try and play along?

"Hey, that's not even true, I can make … spagetthi." He could, very well actually, but for the sake of the mood being on the lowest it could've been, Liam tried to be funny, which obviously, he couldn't be when he felt so guilty. Like, god knows how excited Niall had actually been to him coming home and Liam had completely ruined it, what had he been thinking?! "And anyways, I'm very good at ordering food, right, Ni?"

Liam had managed to untangle the blanket now, letting go of Niall for a second to try and coax him into loosening his arms a bit to cover him with it, the younger boy just shrugged, making Liam chuckle a bit, for real this time though, deciding to take it upon himself to try and cheer Niall up a bit.

"Oh, really, Niall, a shrug? Come on, I know you like it when I get pizza." And then, just because there was nothing left to loose anyways, Liam poked Niall's ribs slightly, getting the boy to squeal in surprise while Liam laughed softly, wrapping his arm back around Niall to keep him by his side before unexpectedly tickling him a bit, knowing exactly how heavily the younger reacted to this.

There was no difference this time, within seconds, the room wasn't filled with awkward silence and the TV as background noise anymore but rather with Niall's laughter as he tried to wind out of Liam's grip. He wasn't holding on too tightly though, always being very aware of how gentle he had to be, careful not to hurt Niall, which didn't seem to be the case at all. "Stooop, Li, I- I'm ticklish!"

"I know you are, babes." Carrying on a little bit longer simply because seeing and hearing Niall laughing so much had Liam joining in no time, though it was kinda forced, he still was glad to have brightened the mood just a little.

"That wasn't fair, I wasn't prepared!" Niall was pouting a bit afterwards, for a few moments not even thinking about Sophia as it seemed like, just crossing his arms, pretending to not wanting Liam to hug him with both arms now, still chuckling.

"Awww, Ni, I'm sorry, you're just so cute, I couldn't help it, come here." Then he pressed his lips to Niall's nose, holding him impossibly close now while Niall acted as if he hated Liam kissing him because he was playing mad, thought there was the familiar sparkle in his eyes, a smile tugging on his lips, plus he wasn't fighting Liam's tight grip around him at all.

For a minute or two, Liam almost forgot that they weren't alone, because Niall looked pretty happy to be tugged under his arm, especially once he untangled the blanket that had fallen to the floor during the process, covering Niall and his own lap with it, because the younger boy always got cold extremely quickly. The bad mood seemed to be gone now, at least a tiny little bit, because Niall relaxed noticeably, moving to cuddle into Liam's side more comfortably, his head resting on the older's shoulder as he let out nothing more than a breath. "I forgive you."

It didn't occur to Liam to wipe that dumb grin off of his face after kissing the top of Niall's head, almost being surprised then as he looked over to see his girlfriend sitting there, with an undefinable expression on her face, she was just watching and maybe Liam was hallucinating, but she was shaking her head slowly, as if in disbelieve. As he locked eyes with her for a second though, her smile was back, though it seemed to be pretty shaky all of a sudden.

Things went better from there on, they just watched the movie to the end, Liam focused more onto Niall though he tried to bring Sophia in as well but it wasn't so easy seeing as Niall never gave more than two word answers whenever she talked to him. If he even responded at all. 

At around midnight, Liam had a sleeping Niall half on his lap, some dumb soap on the TV and a very quiet girlfriend about one and a half lengths away from him, they had been sitting in silence since about twenty minutes now, ever since Niall had passed out, because what was there to say? Liam knew that she must be confused, maybe even mad, well, she had been been pissed at him before, there was a great chance that that had increased, but to be quite honest, he didn't feel responsible for any of this.

"So…" It almost had him jumping as Sophia spoke up, breaking through the silence, he barely moved his head to look at her pretty reserved face, holding onto Niall who was clinging to his shirt in his sleep. "You want me to stay over night, or…"

Right, Liam couldn't do that, he didn't even feel like it actually, it felt like forever since they had slept in the same bed, but seeing as they had been fighting literally only a few hours ago, Liam didn't feel so bad for half shrugging, trying to be nice. "I… I promised Niall we'd spend tomorrow together. I mean… just him and me."

"Of course." Well, that had sounded more than just sarcastic, but her expression didn't crumble as she moved to stand up. "It's not like you've been doing that for the last weeks."

Great, Liam sighed, suppressing the urge to tell her to keep her voice down, but what should he have said, it wasn't his fault that she was always mad at him for god's sake! "Sorry."

"It's fine, Liam, I can see why you're so fond of this boy, I'm just worried." Well, that was something knew.

"Why?" He never got an answer to that though, Sophia just came over, her expression a little bit softer now, but it was still pretty obvious how much she disagreed with all of this, not saying a word about it though as she leaned down to kiss Liam, only his cheek again, he hadn't expected anything else.

"I love you, you know, it's just sometimes… sometimes it feels as if I'm the only one putting an effort into this relationship, it's not even that you kept this from me for so long, it's kinda just… everything at once, you know? And I didn't mean to falsely accuse you of cheating, just maybe you should think about why I even come up with things like that. Tell Niall I said goodnight." After that, Liam opened his mouth to say something, closing it again once he realized that he had nothing to say, not one word came to his mind that he wanted to say to her so he stayed quiet instead, looking down. "Call me tomorrow, yeah?"

Liam just nodded at this, though she had already turned her back on him, he watched her walk towards the main entrance for a few seconds, then waiting as she was out of sight until he could hear the door fall shut, plunging himself and Niall into silence again except for the almost muted TV.

Nothing about this night had been good or could be called an accomplishment, they had met up, but obviously not made up even though Liam had thought they had, and now this, what was all of that even supposed to mean? He couldn't just abandon Niall for her, Niall had nobody except for Liam, and if this was about anything that had happened before this, it hadn't been his fault, he hadn't fucking cheated on her, why did she always have to start with that anyway? Like, all those things made him not want to call her tomorrow at all, and maybe he wouldn't, maybe this was it, after everything, it wouldn't even surprise Liam anymore if she sent him nothing more than a text to break up with him.

His trail of thoughts got interrupted as Niall moved, he had his head on Liam's chest, one hand folded under his cheek, almost leaning into Liam with all of his weight, some whimper leaving his mouth that immediately had Liam jumping into daddy mode. "Hey, shsh, it's all good, I'm here, Ni." 

"Mmmh." Didn't sound very relaxing, Niall kept stirring despite Liam trying to calm him down, it wasn't like as if he had a nightmare because that had happened too often already, he was just about to wake up. "Li…."

"Go back to sleep, Niall, you're alright, babe." Stroking the boy's hair softly, Liam made sure that the blanket stayed in place, hoping that Niall was just dreaming or something, he should've brought him to bed a long time ago. 

Of course, none of the soothing attempts helped, Niall still sat up a little, leaning his elbow onto Liam's stomach as he looked at him with a very sleepy face, a bit confused as well as he let out the cutest yaw Liam had ever seen, rubbing at his eye with his knuckles like a chid. "Liam…"

"What's wrong, Ni? Did you have a bad dream?" Speaking softly without even thinking about it, Liam smiled gently as he tightened his arm around Niall, rubbing his thumb over boy's cheek lightly, he was about to kiss him all over the face or something, Niall right after waking up was the cutest thing on earth. 

"No, I…" Niall looked around then, still leaning into Liam with most of his weight, his voice had sounded quite whiny and tired, which wasn't a surprise, it was too late for him to be up, even if YES, Liam knew that he was already 17.

"She left already." Guessing what Niall had been looking for, Liam just answered before getting asked, pressing a kiss onto Niall's forehead, then another just because he could. "Let's get you to bed, alright?"

"But… is it my fault she left? Does she hate me?" His eyes got a lot bigger while he spoke, sounding quite worriedly and Liam couldn't help but laugh softly, he was so whipped already.

"No, she doesn't hate you, babe, it's not your fault either, it's quite late already and she's gotta be somewhere tomorrow." Maybe she did, Liam wouldn't know that, he was just focused on brushing the hair out of Niall's face now, not feeling too bad about that little lie. "In fact, she told me to tell you goodnight from her. And I think that's what you should have right now, come on." 

The younger boy looked as if he might pass out again any second, actually, Liam had planned on apologizing for today, but he decided to wait until tomorrow, maybe he could make it up if he got Niall some ice cream or so. "Okay…"

Standing up seemed to be a very hard process for Niall, he kept holding onto Liam, shivering a bit, probably because the blanket had slipped, so Liam decided that making him walk would take way too long, in fact, he had already taken Niall's wrists to unclench the boy's arms around his waist, moving them to wrap around his neck instead. "Hold on tight, yeah?"

"Hm." Niall did anything besides that, he barely held onto Liam at all to be honest, just resting his head on the other's shoulder. Which was fine though, Liam could easily hold him up by himself, he wasn't carrying him like he usually would, but with Niall's legs around his waist, making it seem even more as if though he was a child. He was somehow.

"Did you brush your teeth already?" While walking, Liam made sure to turn the lights off with his elbow whenever he pass by, the TV had been a bit of a bigger problem but it turned out Niall was light enough to be held with only one arm.

"No… but I don't wanna do it now, Li, please, I'm sooo tired…" Biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't burst out laughing at Niall whining into his neck, Liam tried to sound strict then, still turning his head to kiss the boy's ear though. 

"Alright, but you'll have to do it tomorrow morning, okay? Promise?" It's not that Liam would have actually forced him, or like, given him a punishment, it hadn't gone this far, he was simply doing what his instinct told him to, and well, Niall seemed to need it anyways. 

"Okay… promise…" His voice was barely a sigh now, Liam rearranged the boy in his arms as he held on even less, going for the guest room but slowing down as he passed by his own, not taking half a second to think this through.

"Hey, Ni… do you wanna sleep in my bed?" For one, Liam still felt really, really guilty and two, he actually didn't wanna be alone tonight, it was quite nice sharing a bed with Niall, the boy was warm and he was clinging to Liam even in his sleep, there was no way you could feel lonely or worry about much when he was there, which Liam would do otherwise, 100%. Not exactly about missing Sophia, more about why he didn't and rather had this little fella in his bed.

Luckily for Liam, there seemed to be nothing more Niall wanted to do as he nuzzled his face more tightly into his neck, sounding a bit more awake as he answered, causing warmth to spread in Liam's stomach as he felt the boy's breath against his bare skin. "Yeah…"


	6. Chapter 6

Niall woke up feeling warm and humble, his coordination was completely lost for a few seconds as he let out a tiny yaw, stretching a bit like a cat which was when he noticed that he wasn't alone. The arm around his waist was rather tight, just like Niall loved it, he curled deeper into Liam's embrace, burying his face in the older's bare chest as he wasn't afraid to do so anymore, making sure the blanket stayed pulled up to his chin because he liked being buried in that warmth, it was something he'd probably never get quite used to again.

After all, it had only been a little over two weeks that Niall had agreed to staying with Liam, but no time in the world would've been enough for him to comprehend any of this. Sure, Niall's doubts had faded a bit by now, but sometimes he still felt himself being a bother, which he WAS, but the problem was, he was way too attached to Liam already as to even consider leaving any longer. And the older boy didn't make him feel as if he had to either, he always spent his days with Niall, and bought him anything even though Niall never failed to tell him no 100 times, and he cuddled him and gave him kisses, though Niall had no idea why he would wanna do that, but he enjoyed the hell out of it anyways. 

True, last night after Liam had left him alone for the very first time, Niall had almost panicked, even if this was like the biggest proof of trust he could've ever gotten, Niall hated being alone more than anything else, since he had been for so long anyways. But it had been alright, watching TV and texting Harry for a little bit, Niall kinda liked him, not that he knew too many people, but Liam's bandmates were alright, though he knew that they were still kinda unsure about him. But Sophia was a whole other chapter.

With her it was like, Niall knew he had to be careful, he could sense it somehow, but it didn't take much to see that she disapproved of him being here, which Niall got, totally. He also had felt bad cuddling into Liam and taking his full attention for being such a whiny baby, but it wasn't all his fault, he had just learned to be careful around people and it wasn't easy getting over old habits. Still, he was aware that the situation wasn't easy for anybody, also not for Niall himself, but other than them, Niall had no other life to go back to, if Liam decided he didn't want him anymore it was over. 

And maybe that was determined to happen sooner or later, not that Liam was a bad person, no, Liam was an angel, but that still didn't mean that Niall should actually be here and deep down he knew it, Liam's girlfriend's looks last night had been enough, something was going to happen for sure because this was too good to be true.

"Are you awake?" Liam sounded tired, he yawned as he tightened his arm around Niall, the younger boy kept his eyes closed, loving the warmth of Liam's skin he felt pressed against his own, his steady heartbeat right underneath Niall's cheek. "Ni?"

"Yeah… I'm awake…" Niall mumbled, not really wanting to get up though, he loved lying around like this, not doing anything, just being sure of Liam holding onto him, feeling as if maybe he did matter just a tiny little bit.

"I thought so, I can almost hear you thinking, you know." As he chuckled quietly for a second, his chest moved underneath Niall, a hand coming up to stroke over his temple slowly, giving him about one billion goosebumps as Liam lowered his voice again. "What's the matter, hm?"

"Nothing… 'm just a little tired is all…" Of course, Niall had never been good at lying, maybe that's why Liam sighed, suddenly pressing a kiss to the top of the younger's head, he did that a lot and it was the best thing ever.

"Look, Niall, because of last night, I… I shouldn't have brought her." Liam sounded really guilty, which he shouldn't have, because this was his apartment and he could bring whoever he wanted, but just as Niall opened his mouth to say that, Liam swallowed before carrying on. "Not without telling you or asking whether it's alright and I wanted to apologize for that. But I promise, I'm never gonna do that again, alright? I'll always ask you first from now on and today will be great, alright? Do you still wanna dye your hair, babe?"

Almost unbelievable actually, how fast Liam could change the topic, he even laughed a tiny bit, causing Niall to put his worries aside for a second, it was so easy to be with Liam, and he always was so encouraging too, like last night when Niall had shown him the picture in his passport, deciding that it couldn't hurt if he knew his full name. Besides, he had really liked that blonde hair and Liam had said it would look good! But then again… he had used up enough of Liam's money. "Um… I don't know, I… I liked it but… but we don't have to do it and anyways I-"

"Alright, we'll do it. I helped my sisters dye their hair, I can do yours too." Something about that seemed to amuse Liam because he started laughing while playing with streaks of Niall's hair, he had such a nice laugh, it was soft and it gave Niall butterflies, which he didn't wanna have but it's not like Liam knew about them so maybe he could just enjoy it a little bit. The truth was, if everything had been different, a lot, then maybe Niall would've had a tiny little crush on Liam, which he didn't of course not, that'd be stupid, right?

"What's so funny?" He asked instead, attempting to prop himself up on his elbow a little, careful not to hurt Liam as he looked down at him, he still seemed very sleepy, but he was smiling, his hand slipping into the back of Niall's neck, squeezing gently.

"I just thought that, would you be very mad if it accidentally turns green or something? Because I just remembered the last time I did it was years ago and I'm not sure if I still know how to. But I bet you'd look very cute with green hair or maybe purp-"

"I'm just gonna do it myself then." Niall pretended to pout, getting just another laugh out of Liam that had his mouth twitching, seeing the older boy like this did things to Niall, the crinkles by his eyes, the way he was looking at Niall that he maybe just imagined. But maybe not.

"I was just joking, babe, no worries, I'll call one of my sisters if anything goes wrong, alright? But let's go have breakfast first, I'm hungry and I bet you're too." With a knowing look on his face, Liam poked Niall's side gently and he giggled unwilling, automatically sitting up as Liam did too, still captivated by the older boy's happy face.

Maybe a bit too much, to a point where he didn't even watch his words anymore, that happened too, as careful as Niall normally was. "How many sisters do you have?"

"Oh, two." They were sitting up in bed now, for a second or two, none of them seemed to think anything about it, Liam shrugged slightly as Niall nodded and then his face suddenly changed and he looked down, obviously trying to sound casual, failing terribly though. "Um… do you have… any siblings?"

Right, this was where Niall got redder than a tomato within half a second, wanting to slap himself for talking about a topic like this, of course he had to answer now… just what? "I… I don't."

Here was the thing, there had been a million opportunities for Niall to say something to Liam, because the older boy never ever asked uncomfortable questions or pushed him, which Niall appreciated more than anything, but he knew that he'd have to speak up at some point. On one hand, he thought maybe speaking about it would help, but on the other, he just didn't want to do it at all, what if Liam kicked him out then, if he knew the truth? Wouldn't be the very first time that he got left behind because of what had happened, he had for sure deserved it though, and he'd deserve it a second time, for keeping this from Liam for so long alone. 

"Can we… can we have breakfast now?" There had been a few uncomfortable minutes where none of them had said a word, Niall trying to figure out whether he had been lying or not because he still had no proper answer to the question, just hoping that he wouldn't start crying now while staring holes into the blanket.

"Yeah, of course…" As he felt a hand on his arm though, Niall looked up automatically, accidentally meeting Liam's eyes, but they were soft and caring, not as if he was annoyed for not getting any further information, there was even a smile playing around his lips. Fuck, Niall didn't deserve Liam and he never would, not in a million years. "Hey, it's all good, sorry I asked, Ni. You wanna have a piggy back ride?"

Why was he like this? So selfless and empathetic, always knowing the right thing to say and do to calm Niall down right away, he even kissed his forehead now before getting up and waiting for Niall to climb onto his back obviously. Which he did, a little thoughtfully because that was a new thing, but he decided he liked it in the first five seconds, mostly because he loved being this close to Liam in general, have the boy's hands on him and feeling his warmth, but also because as dumb as it sounded, he liked being treated like this, liked being told to go brush his teeth and go to bed because even though he had always found things like that quite annoying when he was younger, he had missed someone doing that. A lot actually, maybe Liam knew that, and if he didn't, he was doing a brilliant job as a natural.

They had breakfast just as they usually did, it was almost like a routine now which was one of the things Niall had come to love, not worrying about getting hungry again in a few hours, a fixed time and place, he still couldn't believe his luck up to this day as he watched Liam once again working in the kitchen without a shirt on while he forced Niall to go sit down meanwhile. 

Well, that was until Niall would come and ask if he could help because he felt bad for letting the other boy do all the work, and maybe also a bit because he wanted to help anyways, so Liam would laugh and tell Niall ten million times not to burn or hurt himself any other way, hardly letting him do anything in the end but it was alright because he was constantly touching him instead, joking around, easily keeping up a conversation the whole time and it was just… heaven. That was the only word to describe it really.

It was about three hours later then, after Liam had finally convinced Niall that he wouldn't be broke from buying hair dye for him and having to half drag him into a store then, luckily staying unnoticed, that they were in the bathroom and Niall's doubts came back pouring in has if they had never been gone, because hell, Liam did not look like he knew what he was doing at all, he was just putting the dye onto Niall's head before smushing it with his hand, more as if he was trying to kill an insect rather than not making Niall look like an idiot. "You know what I was thinking…"

"That I could wash it out now and maybe the damage won't be too bad then?" Niall was staring at his own reflection, feeling slightly uneasy but he didn't move either ways, simply because he could see Liam behind him with that way too charming smile on his lips.

"No, just trust me. Actually, and that's what I wanted to say, I think it's not even going to properly work, we should've used bleach… or is there bleach in this, I didn't read the package and I don't know how any of this works." But… Niall hadn't read it either…

"Oh my god, I'm gonna go bald or so, I can already feel it, it burns." To say he was about to freak out was an understatement, but he was holding still, fighting his tears back, but only because Liam was still so positively messing with his hair, looking at Niall then through the mirror, his face going a bit softer.

"Ni, your hair is not gonna fall out from this, it'll either go blonde or nothing will change, alright? And if anything unexpected happens I know who to call who can fix this in no time, just relax." Easier said than done. "And I'll leave the roots a bit brown, okay? It's what you had in that picture in your passport as well."

"O-Okay…" Honestly, Liam could do whatever he wanted now because Niall was almost shaking from this experience, his whole excitement had somehow gotten lost. But then again, he was spending time with Liam alone and the boy had his whole attention on him while humming some melody and he was touching him as well, so who was he to complain? Maybe he just needed to distract himself.

"Um, what song are you humming?" Just because Niall wasn't too fond of his reflection, he was looking down now, picking at the skin around his thumb as he anxiously waited for Liam to answer, desperate to bring the conversation on something else.

"What? Oh, right, it's a song Louis has been working on and he sent me a demo, I probably should not even let you hear it if I think about it, but you can keep a secret, right?" Liam chuckled, still busy with Niall's hair, just now, Niall wasn't thinking about that any longer but about something completely different that they had never really spoken about before.

"I never heard you sing." Well, he had, but not in real life, besides, he just mindlessly blurted it out, blushing slightly as he realized that maybe that had been very rude, what was wrong with him today?

"Well, I would sing you something right now but I don't wanna mess this up." Another laugh that sent chills up Niall's spine, Liam's voice was so beautiful and smooth and calming, maybe Niall didn't even want to hear him singing, he'd probably have a stroke or something. "But remind me, alright? Or maybe you wanna save that for the tour so you won't get sick of it already because I'll make you watch every single concert anyways… alright, now we just wait a bit to wash this out."

Niall didn't even really pay attention to the fact that Liam stepped away to go and get the gloves off he had had to wear for this procedure, he was more thinking about the way the older boy had just said that. It had sounded so easily, as if this was already set into stone, or actually, as if he was _excited_ about Niall coming along on tour. But why would he be anyways, that was ridiculous, who knows what happened until then. "I'm sure I won't get sick of it."

"Well, you're saying that now." Liam threw a grin over his shoulder while he washing his hands and Niall had gone to sit on the edge of the oversized bathtub, still picking at his skin without noticing really, another bad habit, just like the nail biting. "But I can sing something for you anyways, later, okay? Once you got your green hair and purple streaks, because that's what I put in since you weren't looking."

"Liam!" Two weeks ago Niall would've never dared joking around with Liam, but it came all natural now and he knew not to take him serious anyways whenever he was in such a goofy mood, not as if he would _actually_ do that to Niall's hair, he was way too nice.

"Just joking, Ni, you know me." He came over now, grinning, and before Niall could think about why Liam would come to the conclusion that Niall KNEW him, he splashed a bit of water into Niall's face with his still wet hands, laughing loudly as the younger boy flinched before glaring at him. Deep down though, he wanted to laugh as well. 

"Your jokes are not funny, Liam, I think it's time someone told you." They were funny though, not because of what Liam did or said, but simply because of how he did it, even right now, Niall couldn't have been mad for real for even just a third second because Liam had already sat down next to him, kissing the drop of water on Niall's cheek away instead of wiping. Damn, as if Niall's mind hadn't been dizzy already, now it was filled with Liam's familiar cologne as well.

"You know what?" It didn't sound mad or as if anything bad was coming now, in fact, Liam was smiling so sweetly at Niall that he almost had to look away, trying to resist the urge and touch his hair now to scratch himself.

"What?" Just a little bit flinching as Liam's arm wrapped around his waist, he was too used to this by now, Niall was a bit confused as he had to wait for an answer, but even more by Liam's happy face, his thumb rubbing over Niall's shirt right by his hipbone.

"I love that you're not so shy around me anymore, and that you're smiling so much more now. Oh, and that you're not afraid anymore to come cuddle with me whenever you feel like it, I really like that too." Oh god, this had been more than unexpected, Niall didn't even blush immediately because he was so surprised, just mindlessly staring into Liam's soft, brown eyes for a second before quickly looking down. 

"I… I just, I…." There was nothing o say really, only that maybe Niall was a bit relieved to hear Liam saying that because it was nice to get some reassurance that his clingy behavior wasn't annoying him, but still… god, this was so damn embarrassing.

"It's fine, babe, you don't have to say anything, I just wanted to let you know, okay?" The fact that Liam's face didn't hurt already from smiling the whole time was a true miracle, Niall couldn't do anything besides nodding a bit, wanting this moment to pass by as quickly as possible, he even considered lying about having to go pee when Liam suddenly spoke up again, not that extremely cheerful anymore. "Hey… I wanted to ask you something actually."

Niall turned his head shyly to see that Liam's smile had almost completely faded which got him scared, he almost choked on his words actually, his heartbeat speeding up automatically whenever the mood got like this and Liam said such things. "W-What is i-it?"

"Just, um…" Keeping his arm around Niall, Liam actually pulled him a bit closer now, so that their thighs were nearly brushing together, if Niall would've just pretended to shift on accident… "What do you… think about Sophia?"

Right, this was about the last thing Niall wanted to talk about, he almost reached up to nervously play with his hair before he remembered that he had dye in it, so he stopped in front of his mouth, biting onto his thumbnail instead, trying to resist the urge to just shrug as he stared at the tiles, way too aware of Liam's warmth. Yeah, what did he think about Sophia?

On one hand, he could've said that he hadn't liked her being here, which would not actually answer the question though, also not if he told Liam that he was slightly scared of her, well not of _her_ , but about what she could do. She was Liam's girlfriend after all, it would only be understandable if she got so annoyed with Niall always being with Liam and living with him that he'd convince him to throw Niall out. Which would be a completely normal reaction though, no one could've blamed her for doing that, Niall understood, Liam was so great, he wanted the older boy all for himself, he couldn't blame other people for wanting the same.

"Well, she… I… I don't know. I feel bad, because, um… because she's your girlfriend and… and I'm her taking all your… attention." Yeah, that was no real answer either, but it was basically all Niall felt towards that girl, well apart from the fact that he thought Sophia hated him, but he didn't wanna say that to Liam. 

"Hey, you don't have to feel bad at all, okay? This had nothing to do with you anyways, she… well, you remember when we … met?" Yeah 'met' sounded a lot nicer than it had actually been, but Niall just nodded anyways without looking at the older boy, torturing his thumb while enjoying the way Liam squeezed his side a bit, bumping his knee into Niall's on accident as he moved, clearing his throat. "Ever since that day I've been fighting with her, and I thought we made up a few days ago but as soon as I arrived last night she just started again. It's just… not so easy being in a relationship sometimes I guess, especially because I'm always gone for so long and she has to stay here and go to uni. But anyways, if she came off as, I don't know, as if she was pissed or something, none of this was your fault, Ni, and I don't mind when you're taking all of my attention, it's my decision what I do and not hers."

"Okay, I just… I just don't want her to hate me…" Actually, Niall didn't care about that that at all, but he knew it'd influence Liam as well and Liam was really the only person Niall needed to like him. He did like him though, right?

"She doesn't, Ni, I promise. And hey, don't do that, alright? There's no need to be nervous." Before Niall could ask what Liam meant, the older boy had already softly wrapped his hand around Niall's that he still had at his mouth to bite at his nails, pulling it down but not letting go immediately, just holding both their hands on his thigh, causing Niall to blush terribly. Liam's hand was a lot bigger than his, and rougher, but he liked feeling his grip on him, because Liam never did anything half heartedly, if he held Niall's hand, he did it tightly. "I think we should wash this out now, okay? You should, hmm… do it over the sink, I'll help you, okay?"

With another squeeze around Niall's fingers Liam let go then, the smile had found its way back into his face now as Niall carefully checked, still a bit lost in thoughts because of their previous topic, but he agreed anyways, like he always would when Liam asked him to do something.

It was a bit awkward, but before Niall could secretly blush over it, Liam started chuckling before he accidentally splashed so much watch into Niall's face that he had the younger boy coughing, immediately getting him a towel and apologizing twenty million times, even with kisses and being extra gentle and careful. From there on, Niall enjoyed it, having Liam fingers running through his hair and rubbing over his scalp, honestly, if the position hadn't been so uncomfortable, he might have slept in during the process.

Afterwards though, they couldn't really see whether Niall's hair really was messed up since it was all wet now, and before the younger boy could even speak up about how his hair didn't need very long to air dry anyways, Liam had already grabbed the hair dryer, stepping behind him again. "I… I can do it."

"No let me, I like touching your hair, it's really soft." So that's how Liam ended up chuckling and blow drying Niall's hair while the younger boy just stood there blushing, hoping that the goose bumps weren't too noticeable whenever Liam brushed his bare skin.

He had made sure Niall couldn't look into the mirror at his reflection, so as soon as Liam turned the hair dryer off, playing with a few streaks of Niall's hair, his breathing increased drastically. What if he looked even more disgusting than he had before?! "Okay, we're done."

"What's it look like?!" Niall wanted to turn around immediately but was held back by Liam's hands on his shoulders, then they slipped down as he laughed, rubbing Niall's arms before moving him gently while talking.

"Well, the bad news is that I'm gonna have to give up my career and become a hair dresser, the good news is you're probably going to like it." For a second or two, Niall highly doubted the older boy's words, but then he actually stared at himself through the mirror, immediately calming down completely. It was blonde indeed, not too bright, and the roots were still kinda brown like Liam had promised, thank god, it didn't look too bad, it looked like… like Niall had wanted it to for the past two years. Okay, that did make him a bit nostalgic, he felt a bit frozen now, Liam's hands holding onto his hips softly. "Niall?"

"Yeah… yeah, it's great, thank you so much, Li, also for buying the dye and for-"

"Shush, babe, you're welcome, alright? Okay, now, turn around, let me look at you." So that's what Liam did, smiling brightly, all while studying Niall's face and hair, running his fingers through, picking at a few pieces sometimes, quickly infecting Niall with his good mood, he was suddenly really excited about this as well. He finally had his blonde hair back! "Looks great, actually, I think I like blonde better on you than brown, not that it didn't look good before, but that's better."

"Really, you think so?" That was another thing about Liam, whenever he complimented Niall, the younger boy couldn't help but get all excited and smily and ask one hundred times whether Liam really meant it because it just made him so _happy_. 

"Of course, I wouldn't lie to you babe." Then Liam grinned before stepping a little closer to press his lips against Niall's forehead over his fringe, apparently not expecting Niall to mindlessly wrap his arms around his waist because he flinched for a second before laughing, hugging back just as tight. "You're so cute, Niall, I swear to god."

Not even that could get Niall to feel embarrassed now, he just kept his face buried in Liam's shoulder, inhaling quietly, curling his fingers into Liam's shirt with one hand to make sure they stayed as closed as possible. Liam's chin resting on top of his head and his strong, warm arms around him, holding on tightly, made Niall feel as if this was the safest place on earth, right here cuddling into Liam, he wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else, and thinking that was quite scary actually, but right now, Niall just let himself be consumed by that happiness he hadn't felt in so long. Liam was the only thing that made him feel as if maybe not everything had completely gone to waste, that maybe there was hope.

"You know what, maybe you should let me cut it too so I can improve my skills before I start my new job." Liam was so dumb, but he was so sweet at the same time, just laughing because it was obviously a joke and Niall wanted to say something but instead he just huffed before not being able to hold back his giggle, not saying a word though and just melting against the older's warm body. 

The embrace lasted for quite long actually, they didn't talk much but it wasn't awkward silence either, it was just peaceful and as Liam started rocking them a bit, kissing the top of Niall's head and giving him chills as he breathed out hotly against his scalp, Niall could've almost passed out against him. 

Sadly though, the hug couldn't last forever, but it could've lasted longer if whoever had decided to ring Liam's doorbell had changed their mind before doing so. It caused Niall to jump slightly as the sound broke through the almost silence, Liam pulling back slowly to his displeasure, ruffling Niall's now blonde hair. "It's just the doorbell, I'll go check, alright?"

Nodding, Niall was a bit sad to see Liam walking off, but the older boy threw another smile at him over his shoulder so Niall thought that maybe they could go cuddle on the couch once Liam came back or so. For now, he decided to try and clean up a bit, because Liam would insist on doing it all alone otherwise and that was hardly any fair, was it?

There were voices, but Niall didn't really pay any attention, he didn't expect anything bad for once, just happy because of the hug and his hair and the day in general. The thing that got him suspicious though was Liam suddenly calling out for him, and the older boy did not sound very happy at all. Who was at the door? And wait… hadn't Liam said that you needed another key to get up here, then that would mean it was someone who Liam knew. "Niall, can you… come here for a second, please?"

Not answering, Niall wiped his wet hands on his jeans before carefully walking out of the bathroom, mind running wild as he tried to figure out who this might be and why he would be needed to come see them. But Liam was there, so it would be fine, right?

Well, nothing could've really prepared for that sight though, speak of the devil, it was Sophia.

Niall stopped, about three meters away from the door, immediately looking at Liam first of all, but the older boy seemed just as surprised and confused as Niall himself, maybe even guilty because he pulled a bit of a face at Niall, shrugging his shoulders barely noticeable. Which was when Niall checked Sophia's face then because something was definitely off. And he knew what it was immediately as she spoke up.

"Oh look at you, Niall, blonde suits you really well, you look really handsome." She was overly motivated for this as it seemed like, completely different from yesterday, this time, her smile wasn't shaky at all, but it was too wide as she fully entered the apartment, kissing Liam right on the mouth. Oh. "I thought you guys are probably hungry so I brought pizza."

"Why didn't you call?" Liam's face was brightly blushed as he took the cartons that got shoved into his hands, not looking at Niall, but Niall could tell he felt as uncomfortable as he did. To be exact, Niall thought he'd have to empty his stomach on the floor any second, he KNEW what this was about, maybe Liam didn't, but it couldn't have been more obvious what was going on, especially as Sophia came right over to Niall, who was still frozen, having choked out nothing besides a very quiet 'Hi', completely unexpectedly ruffling his hair after taking her shoes off and dropping the too big looking bag on the floor.

"Well, I thought I'd surprise you boys. Besides, we didn't have much time to get to know each other, did we, Niall?" Niall felt the urge to run and hide behind Liam but he didn't, he just tried his best not to shiver too obviously, automatically starting to bite his nails again at Sophia's bright smile before she walked off, as if it was her home. Well, it was more her's than Niall's.

Immediately after she was around the corner, Liam rushed over to Niall, just for a second though, to wrap his free arm around the half frozen younger boy, pressing his lips to his ear quickly as he whispered so his girlfriend wouldn't hear. "I'm so sorry, Ni, I had no idea, I swear, but it'll be fine, okay? She just wants to get to know you better, nothing else, she just wants you guys to get along. And I'm here, alright? And tomorrow it'll just be you and me, for real, I promise. Come on, it'll be fine."

There was nothing Niall could've done other than walking with Liam, who still had the pizza cartons in one hand, his other one almost painfully digging into Niall's side as he pulled him along to the kitchen. His voice had sounded so guilty that Niall had to swallow, he knew that Liam had no clue why his girlfriend had REALLY shown up, that none of this was on purpose, so he'd have to pull himself together, for Liam only, because other than him, Niall knew exactly what this was about and he was scared, because it was something he had feared all along. 

 

—————

 

It was more than just uncomfortable for Niall as Sophia stayed for the whole rest of the day, she was constantly touching Liam now, completely different from last night, where they had kept a bunch of distance. And the thing was that Liam was just as surprised by this as Niall, but he didn't resist of course, or turn her kisses and touches down because she was his _girlfriend_ for crying out loud, this was how it should've been. And after a while, the older boy's confusion seemed to have left, he seemed to be enjoying himself, something Niall couldn't blame him for of course.

But watching them was not really what he felt like doing at all, he mostly faked a whole lot of smiles, trying to hide the fact that it hurt when Liam was all over someone else rather than randomly kissing and cuddling with Niall. Which he didn't do for the rest of the whole day anymore, not by choice though, he couldn't have if he had wanted to, because Sophia had very clearly marked him her territory.

Of course she was nice to Niall, so much that it got suspicious, she asked him a whole bunch of questions, random ones of course, and telling him stuff about Liam, about things that had Liam blushing a bit but she carried on anyways while Niall tried not to get up and throw himself off the balcony, hoping that none of them noticed how jealous and disappointed he was. He had no right to be any of those things anyways, which didn't mean he could just turn them off though.

Later at night though, when it had gotten really late and Niall had almost thought Liam wouldn't come and say goodnight this time after he had sent him off to go shower and brush his teeth like he always did after Niall yawned a few times too often, it got more difficult to hold back the tears. "Hey, Ni, you still awake?"

Liam had almost only been whispering, he was in the doorframe, just a figure since Niall had turned off the lights already before burying himself underneath the blanket in the guest room, just wanting this day to be over, but he still wanted his goodnight kiss so he decided to try and not let his voice break away. "Yeah, I'm awake…"

He heard Liam coming over slowly then as he had turned onto his side again, not looking anymore, it was way too dark anyways to see something, but he did feel the mattress move as the older boy sat down, his hand stroking over Niall's hair almost feeling like an electric shock. Sad thing was, this was the first time he had touched Niall since Sophia had arrived, or properly touched, because brushing someone didn't exactly count. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Li, 'm just really tired…" As Niall faked a yawn he knew he had reached a new low, he just wanted to sit up and curl into Liam's arms, but he stayed still instead, keeping his eyes closed at the fingers gently stroking the side of his face now.

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure. Sorry that Sophia just showed up, but I think she really likes you, she told me while you were in the bathroom, and um… well I felt like you didn't find it too bad either, did you?" Sometimes not even Liam could always be right, it's not as if Niall automatically hated her because she was his girlfriend, but didn't Liam see what she was doing, didn't he have a clue at all?

The answer was no, so Niall decided to lie, swallowing down a sob. "No, it was fine… she's really nice, actually…"

Liam let out a soft laugh at this, he sounded really relieved, causing Niall to feel bad, but he couldn't have told him the truth, could he?! "I'm so glad you're saying this, you have no idea. Look, I know that this was really unexpected and that you probably felt uncomfortable at first, but I'm really proud of you, Ni."

"Why?" Niall was only whispering, his guilt was almost hurting as bad as the fact that Liam was so naive right now that he didn't even get suspicious. 

"Because I know it's hard for you to meet new people, but you did so good, and I was so happy that you were smiling so much, I was so worried that you and her wouldn't get along after yesterday, I mean you two mean a lot to me, you know? So thank you for not getting mad at me, I know I promised it'd just be us today, but we'll make up for it, alright?" How could've Niall gotten mad at Liam, this clearly meant so much to him and knowing this hurt even more, Niall couldn't say what was on the tip of his tongue, could barely move his hand as Liam gave him a fucking piny promise before kissing his cheek. "Goodnight, Ni, sweet dreams. And thank you for trusting me to dye your hair today, it really looks great." 

"Thank you, Liam…goodnight." Something about the bag that was still lying by the door and the fact that Sophia was still here at a time like this told Niall that Liam would have much more than that. Fuck, how couldn't he see what was going on?! "Hey, Li, wait um…"

"Yes?" Liam had been about to get up, but he remained seated now, still having his hand on the back of Niall's head, sounding worried all of a sudden, immediately causing Niall to regret keeping him here, he wouldn't bring it over his lips anyways, so instead, he said something completely different.

"Did you and Sophia, um… make up again? It didn't seem like she was pissed at you anymore…" Niall made it sound as if he was just curious, as if he wasn't trying to give Liam any hints.

Well, he could've spared himself the acting, Liam answered without hesitation, sounding too happy for Niall's liking. "I guess so, she didn't seem mad anymore, huh? Well, I really hope we won't fight anymore now because I like it much better this way."

"Yeah… I hope so too, Li, um… you seemed really happy with her." Which made one of them, Niall was going to start bawling the second Liam walked out of his door, it almost seemed cruel now as the older laughed softly, pressing another kiss onto Niall's face, his temple this time. 

"Thanks, Ni, that means a lot to me. I'll get you sleep now, okay? Wake me if something is wrong." That was his usual phrase, but as soon as he was gone and tears pooled in Niall's eyes as he tried to shush himself by pressing his face into the pillow, Niall couldn't help thinking that he would have rather shot himself than going into Liam's room that night.

Because as it wasn't very hard to guess, Sophia was still there the next morning as well, as talkative as ever, not failing to show Niall that it was her Liam belonged to and not him, that she wasn't here to get him to know better, she was here to put things back into place. Well, and Liam stayed clueless as ever, obviously having quickly forgotten about promising Niall right after Sophia's arrival that it would just be them the next day.

But who could've blamed him? This was his life, his normal life that he had lived for god knows long before Niall had shown up, it had just been coincidence that he and Sophia had gotten into a fight right before all of this had happened. Niall had always known that this was too good to be true, but he had been too naive to do the right thing when he still had had the chance, and he'd have to pay for it now.

 

——————

 

For a while, Niall thought that maybe it'd get better, but two weeks passed by and it got worse if anything. 

Of course Sophia left again sometime, which was when he had to keep his act up around Liam, which got hard after a while but he managed to do it with distinction. Mostly because he was so happy about getting to cuddle with Liam again and getting the affection from the older boy that he was craving nonstop. The only problem was, it lasted for a few hours at most before Sophia was back, one time they even went out to eat, just the three of them and Niall had almost gagged at sitting opposite of them, seeing them all lovey dovey for three hours straight.

The reason why he couldn't say anything or get mad was because Liam was so happy, as clueless as one could be but happy nevertheless, he didn't even get suspicious as he confessed that Sophia almost never had so much time to hang out, didn't it occur to him that maybe there was a reason for that sudden change of mind? Not that Liam wasn't the most perfect guy in the world everyone should make all the effort in the world to spend time with, but that was obviously not the motivation here.

In fact, Niall knew that this wouldn't get better right after the first time Sophia spent the night over, but he still had hope for a while, he even considered that maybe he was wrong about everything, maybe he just imagined all of this, he almost texted Harry as he came to that conclusion, to ask him about Sophia, but then he didn't. What right would he have to do that? Harry wasn't his friend, though he had seen him and Louis once or twice during the past few days and they seemed to not hate Niall too much, but also, it was none of his business whatever Liam and Sophia did, Niall would have to just finally get it into his head, because it was clearer than ever.

He didn't belong here, and Sophia wouldn't stop showing him that every day again until he gave in, they were playing a game here that Niall had already lost before he had even known about it. Maybe he should've just talked to Liam, the older boy had told him that no matter what Sophia did he'd always care about Niall, but did that still count for now? Niall didn't wanna risk it, didn't want to risk making the only person in the whole world mad that really meant something to him, he'd just keep his act up, pretend that he was okay with all of this.

And it was easy sometimes, like tonight, when it was just the two of them cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, reminding Niall of why he loved being here so, so much that he sometimes was still shocked to think about that a whole month had passed already. "Should I go make more popcorn?"

Hm, Niall did want some more popcorn, but Liam was warm and comfortable, his chest was much better than a pillow to rest your head onto as well so Niall decided that he didn't want him to get up for anything in the world. "No thank you, I just wanna cuddle with you…"

The confession barely caused Niall to flush this time, just because Liam wrapped both his arms around him, tightly as well, burying his face in Niall's blonde hair, breathing out hotly against his scalp. They had a blanket too, so it was extra snuggly and warm, exactly what Niall loved, he would've allowed himself to doze off if his time with Liam hadn't gotten cut so short from one second to the other. Like literally, they had been hugging in the bathroom, about to do nothing the whole day long and then bam, everything had gotten turned around. Just like most things in Niall's life actually, it always happened like this, all of a sudden and unexpected. "Okay… but tell me if you want anything, yeah?"

He was still so extremely nice all of the time, Niall caught himself smiling mindlessly, despite everything that had happened, Liam still treated him like so much more than he deserved, of course he did, Liam was the best person in the whole world, and there was no denying that he was a great boyfriend too, Niall had to know that, he got witness of it every day. Whether he liked it or not. "Thanks, Li, but I could get it myself as well if I wanted to, you know."

Liam laughed quietly, squeezing Niall a lot tighter suddenly and slipping down a bit more so that they were almost lying down, even their legs were bumping together and Niall absolutely loved every second of it. "I know you can, babe, but I'd still get you anything you want, you know that."

"Yeah…" Because he did know that, there was a knot in Niall's throat all of a sudden as he snuggled even deeper in Liam's chest, curling tighter into his side, if he was being honest with himself, he would've climbed onto Liam's lap if he had had the chance to right now.

They stayed like this for a while then, just watching the movie, Niall trying very hard not to drift off as Liam was stroking him in slow motions, his chest steadily falling and raising underneath Niall, it almost was a shock then as Liam spoke up, rather quietly, thoughtfully.

"You know, I… I'm really happy I took you home with me. And that I went looking for you, I know I told you that many times, but I don't know, it's just, I really am glad and… and I know there's things you don't wanna talk about, but it's okay, Niall, you don't have to. But in case there's something then I'm always here, you know that, right? No matter what, you can tell me anything, Ni." Right at this second, there were two things happening inside Niall, one urging him to finally speak up, not about the one thing that Liam probably meant but about their current situation, the second one, the stronger one, caused Niall to tear up heavily, not because he was sad or anything, just a little nostalgic, just like Liam seemed to be as well for saying all of this. His hand was in Niall's hair, not moving much, but now that they had dyed it, he liked touching it even more for some reason, another positive side effect. "Niall…"

"Y-Yeah?" Swallowing once, Niall would've wiped his teary eyes if he hadn't liked holding onto Liam's shirt way too much, moving a bit so that his head was tugged in the crook of the older's neck.

"You really mean a lot to me, I hope you know that, I'd do anything to make sure you're alright and I care so much about you, it's insane, actually." Everything happening here was insane, Niall couldn't have agreed more, he didn't even know what he was thinking about as he lifted his head to look at Liam, well aware that his eyes were still watery, immediately catching Liam's attention. "Hey, don't cry, Ni, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." And for the first time in so long, this wasn't even a lie, Niall even managed something like a smile that Liam returned immediately, moving the hand from Niall's hair to cup his cheek softly, rubbing his thumb over the skin there, then under his eye, catching a tear that Niall hadn't noticed had escaped him. 

"Good, there shouldn't ever be, and if so, I'll fix it, promised." Maybe it was the honesty in Liam's voice, the way he made it sound as if though he actually meant that, brushing Niall's constant worry away that was always prominent somewhere in the back of his mind, but he couldn't really help it as he just blurted out with it, not even spending a second to think this through.

"Hey, Liam… um… can I… I mean later, um… can I sleep in your bed tonight?" He missed it terribly because he hadn't ever since that day that he had met Sophia, partly because of the obvious of course, but also because well, Niall had never ever dared asking this, so whenever she wasn't here he had never been brave enough, thinking that Liam would suggest it if he didn't mind Niall sleeping over. But now that Liam had said all of that, he couldn't feel that annoyed by Niall, could he?

It turned out that Niall was wronger than he thought he could have been, Liam's smile faded immediately, though he quickly tried to get his facial expressions under control again, Niall's stomach had already dropped, the older biting his bottom lip, looking away for a second. Oh, so he didn't want him to. "Ni, I… I really would love you to, you know, don't think it's because of you it's just… Sophia texted me before, she'll come over later, I forgot to tell you, I'm sorry."

The disappointment rushing through Niall felt like a knife, it was almost unbearable actually, the physical pain he felt from this, if there was one thing he was really bad at dealing with even if he maybe should have already gotten used to was rejection. And this probably hurt more than anything else. "Oh…"

"I'm really sorry, Ni, you can sleep in my bed tomorrow night, okay?" Liam tried the smile again, maybe it was all the practice Niall had had during the last two weeks, but for some reason he managed to return it, even though actually, he wanted to die. Like truly, Niall felt so bad, the fact that Liam had told him so many times that they'd spend some time alone but somehow had always forgotten about it again told him that he would definitely not sleep in Liam's bed tomorrow night. Maybe never again.

"Okay, it's fine, Li." He was pulled down then, with Liam's hand cupping the back of his neck so that his warm lips brushed up against Niall's forehead, he pressed his eyes shut for a second before pulling back again, trying his hardest to fight back those tears. Because as soon as they'd spill over, there was no stopping them. "Let's watch the movie to the end now, I really wanna see it."

Maybe it was his fake excitement that had Liam nodding slowly, his eyes still scanning Niall's face though, so he had to make sure to snuggle down into the older boy's chest again so that at least he wouldn't have to keep that smile up any longer because it had started to hurt.

Crazy, how this seemed to happen over and over again, how one moment, things felt more than just alright for Niall, and then next, all of his hopes got crushed even worse than before.

No matter what Liam said, how many times he told Niall that he was glad that he had found him, it would never be the truth now, would it? It was the guilt that had almost forced Liam to take Niall in, he had even said it himself back then, that he hadn't had an easy minute because of it, it wasn't Niall himself, Liam was just a good person and that's what good people do, simple as that. 

Besides all of that though, the last two weeks had nearly opened Niall's eyes to add up to his worries, before, he hadn't felt THAT much like an intruder, mostly because he had thought that Liam felt alright with spending so much time with Niall. But now that him and Sophia were this close again… what the hell did they need Niall here for? Maybe Liam hadn't realized it up to now, but one day he would see that Niall actually was a bother, that he was good for nothing at all, he hadn't been here for long enough though, but the time would come and sure, Liam couldn't throw him out then, well he COULD, but he wouldn't do that, even if he would want to, he was just too nice and apparently, his guilt would kill him. 

So what if there was no guilt, what if Liam wasn't the one who made the decision, what if Niall made it for him? Did the best for Liam because for a month, Liam had always only done the best for Niall regardless of himself, maybe it was time to repay him.

 

————————

 

Sophia only arrived when Niall had already told Liam that he'd go to bed, he really didn't need to see her once again, after he had for almost two weeks straight, plus, he really wanted Liam to say goodnight to him without haste and while it was just the two of them. 

It had almost made Niall cry terribly, but he had saved it for afterwards then, for a few hours actually because it took ages until he had finally managed to calm down enough so he wouldn't sob hysterically anymore once he slipped out into the hall, checking whether the other two were still awake, but it was dead quiet. Niall even stopped in front of Liam's door, not because he was spying on them since it was like, 3 in the morning and they were asleep for sure now, but because he thought about looking at Liam for a last time. Which he didn't do then though, he'd rather keep him in his memory, the way he had looked at Niall shortly before tickling him and laughing, with his eyes crinkling up, pushing Niall this close to changing his mind.

But he hadn't changed it, so he quickly pulled the hand back he had had stretched out, hurrying back to the guest room, softly closing the door before turning the lights on, scanning the room for a second, trying to be quick then as he collected his stuff. Liam had convinced Niall to throw his own clothes away a while ago, seeing as they had been disgusting and ripped, so he was forced to wear the 'new' stuff anyways, taking a few extras for which he didn't feel too bad, what was Liam gonna do with it anyways once he was gone?

Other than that, Niall didn't take anything that wasn't his, he tried to be brave as he made the bed, before putting his phone and the note on top, choking his tears back before he collected the backpack off of the floor to turn the lights back off, already hating himself for not taking Liam's shirt that he usually slept in, but it wouldn't be good for him to constantly be reminded.

Which kinda got to Niall's head a little bit then as he walked towards the front door a last time, almost stealing for the very first them then as he walked past the pictures Liam had on his wall, some of which he was in as well, and Niall suddenly felt terribly awful thinking he might forget what the older boy looked like, that he didn't have anything to be reminded of him at night when he felt lonely. But Niall didn't take anything in the end, he just readjusted his backpack, thinking that he could as well look in the newspaper if he needed a picture of Liam, right, it wouldn't be exactly easy to forget him. But it was necessary.

As Niall slipped his shoes on, he wasn't trying to be extra slowly anymore, he had already made the decision, for both of them, Liam may not realize it, but he would soon once he found out, that it wouldn't have done any of them good if Niall had stayed. The troubles would have come for sure, Niall was just trying to prevent things from getting even more messed up, he was attached to Liam as hell, but the longer he stayed, the worse it'd get in the end.

It wasn't his jealousy that made Niall leave, sure, that hurt a lot, but no one right in their mind would have chosen Niall first anyways and he had been clearly aware of that beforehand. He just didn't belong here into this world, he hadn't needed Sophia to open up his eyes and realize that, but he had needed her to give him that push he hadn't been brave enough to take. Niall should have left, should have RAN, the moment Liam had let go of his wrist that night in front of the cash machine.

Now one month and one week later, he was a complete sobbing mess as he stepped outside all by himself, without a real plan or a place to go to, the only reason why he even managed to do it at all was because he owed Liam that, and because it was the best for him, even if maybe the older boy would take a while to realize that once he woke up tomorrow morning.

No matter where he went now, fact was, even if he did come looking for him, Niall had to make sure Liam couldn't possibly find him again, he couldn't get this tempted again, because he knew he'd give in without a second thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't murder me :(


	7. Chapter 7

It was quite usual for Liam to wake up early, so he didn't really think much of it as he checked his phone and saw that it read 8 am, it was just, for a few moments, he just remained on his back with closed eyes before slowly remembering why he probably couldn't go back to sleep again.

Right, Sophia was next to him, though half on the edge of the bed, fast asleep as she always was at this time, Liam barely checked though, since she wasn't the main source of his concern right now, it was the guilt that had prevented him from being able to fall asleep properly last night and most likely had woken him up now.

Thinking back to the way Niall's face had fallen when Liam had told him that he couldn't sleep in his bed had been the worst thing to ever watch. Niall had never ever been brave enough to ask Liam that, and he had seemed as if he really wanted to and Liam had had to disappoint him even if it had broken his own heart, he was such an asshole lately, what if Niall had lied awake worrying now that maybe Liam didn't even want him in his bed ever again? Or worse, what if he had cried?!

The whole situation was a bit messed up to begin with, on one hand Liam was really happy about how things were right now, that Sophia had finally seemed to have gotten over her mood and her and Niall seemed to get along as well, which was good, because it would've just made things even more complicated. On the other hand though, Liam wasn't quite sure about how Niall felt towards all of this, that boy was really good at hiding his emotions sometimes, but he wouldn't lie to Liam, would he? He knew that Liam would do anything to make sure he was alright, that he could tell him anything?

Hopefully, though Liam doubted it slightly, taking last night as an example, he felt really bad because of course he noticed that his time with Niall had gotten cut short because of him and Sophia making up again, for real this time. Thinking about how much time she spent here now was weird actually, she had never done this before, not this extreme, but maybe this was just the after effect of not seeing each other for such a long time. Still though, Liam needed to make some more time for Niall during the next few days, he could tell the boy missed having Liam for himself because whenever they were alone, he got even clingier than he had been the time before, maybe he should talk to him about it, to show that he truly cared even if Niall would probably deny all of this anyways, he should still know that Liam hadn't forgotten about him. And never would.

Anyways, this situation wouldn't last forever, Sophia would have to go back to uni soon again and she wouldn't be able to attend tour very much, so there'd be loads of Liam and Niall time. 

Thinking about this caused Liam's tummy to get a bit warmer, smiling at nothing at all, he cared so much about Niall and he loved having him here and around him all of the time. Now that the boy wasn't so shy anymore, Liam could joke around with him and make him laugh all the time, because Niall laughed at every single thing anyways, he was just a ball of sunshine whenever he was in a good mood. Plus he was insanely cute as well, Liam had never seen anybody getting so excited over dying their hair, or about getting a compliment from Liam, not even talking about how he was when they cuddled, how he always insisted on Liam coming to say goodnight to him. God, Liam was so fucking whipped, that boy had grown so close to him, he was like Liam's little brother, and he behaved like it as well.

All this thinking about the younger boy had Liam sitting up now, he couldn't just lie around here, maybe he could make up for last night if he went over right now and cuddled with Niall until the boy would wake up. Sophia could manage without him here, the only reason why she had even come over last night had been because she had to be somewhere this morning and Liam's apartment was nearer than her flat. At least that's what she had said.

Suddenly feeling a bit excited, Liam tried to be quiet as he rolled out of bed, sitting on the edge for a few seconds, rubbing his eyes and trying to wake up a bit more before getting up completely, adjusting his sweatpants a bit. The fact that both him and Sophia were fully clothed reminded him again of how weird it had been when she had all of a sudden almost insisted on them doing it the first night she had slept over again.

Liam had told her no though, first of all a bit too surprised, second of all, he hadn't wanted Niall to hear them under any circumstances, even if his girlfriend had been pissed at him then until the next morning. But they still had had sex during the last two weeks, Liam always making sure both of them had their clothes on again before going to sleep though, in case Niall came in here because of a nightmare or something, it was almost like having a child, at least that'd explain Liam's maternal feelings for that boy. 

The really weird thing about all of this though, and it made Liam feel terribly guilty just thinking about it as he walked down the hallway now, was that it wasn't like it had used to be once. It wasn't that exciting anymore to be with Sophia, and it was always her who took the initiative, it was almost getting too much by now to be completely honest, Liam felt a tad overwhelmed. Maybe that'd go away though, it had to, she was his girlfriend after all, it was probably just because it had been so long since they had done anything, right.

There was more than one thing out of place as Liam reached the closed guest room door, but he couldn't quite get a hold of what it was as he opened the door really slowly, expecting to be met by darkness, but the thing was, the room was all lit up because the curtains had been pulled back already. And the even more obvious thing, Niall wasn't there, but his bed was made, causing Liam to stay still for a second in confusion, not really looking before walking right back out again. Niall had probably already woken up, it happened sometimes, or maybe he was brushing his teeth or something though Liam hadn't heard anything. Too bad, now he couldn't squeeze in those morning cuddles to make the boy (and himself) happy, but they could make breakfast together, Niall loved helping, with everything really, it was the cutest thing in the world.

As the bathroom turned out to be empty as well, a not so comfortable feeling settled in the pit of Liam's stomach, causing him to call out for the boy before even planning on doing it. "Niall? Are you in the living room, babe?"

No answer, Liam walked a bit faster then, trying to keep calm though it was hard telling his body that because he already had sweaty hands as well as a bit of an unsteady heartbeat as he walked around the corner. Nothing, besides an empty couch and balcony, a turned off TV and a kitchen that looked like no one had ever been in there in the first place. Where the hell was Niall?!

Not trying to be quiet at all anymore, Liam checked the second guest room as well, plus all of his spare rooms and just anywhere Niall could possibly be because he just couldn't get it into his mind, there were actually tears burning in his eyes now as he was seconds from losing it completely, hands shaky as he pulled out his phone. This was the thing he had been so scared about waking up to one morning that it felt as if though someone had punched the air out of his lunges. No, this wasn't happening right now, there had to be an explanation.

Maybe Niall had gone outside to go do something? It's not like he was locked in up here, sure, Liam would've appreciated knowing about his whereabouts but Niall was free to go do whatever he felt like. If only he came back again.

It rung a few times while Liam tried to breathe calmly, pressing his eyes shut as he waited just so that they could fly open as he heard the very familiar sound of an iPhone going off somewhere in the apartment. Niall's room, no doubt, but Liam had checked there twice, Niall wasn't there, but if his phone was, then…

This time, Liam almost fell over his own feet trying to get back there as quickly as possible, his heart sinking as he stopped in the doorframe of an still empty room, his eyes settling on something lightning up on the bed that he hadn't notice before. Niall's phone. And alongside that, a piece of paper.

His legs felt numb as he walked over, sight already getting blurry because Liam knew it already, he knew exactly what was going on yet he still told himself that it wasn't what it looked like as he reached out for the note with shaky hands, trying to blink his tears back as he read.

 

_Liam,_

_I'm really sorry that I left without talking to you about it, I'm just really thankful for everything you have done for me and you're the greatest person alive, I'm so lucky that I met you, it's way more than I deserved and I can never tell you how much you helped me, in more ways than just giving me a place to stay._

_Please don't come looking for me, this is the best for all of us, I know that you know that as well, I don't belong here._

_I'm sorry if I've been a bother._

_Niall_

 

No. 

Fuck, this couldn't be true, Niall couldn't be fucking serious! He had run away, after everything had gone so well the past two weeks, after he had told Liam so many times that everything was alright, that he was happy and that he even got along with Sophia? Why NOW?! Why hadn't he talked to Liam about it, he had promised for god's sake! He had promised he wouldn't run away and that he'd come tell Liam if anything was wrong, didn't he trust him? Did he really think that this was the best for any of them?! Fuck.

Liam read the note over and over again, as if the content might change, even as he couldn't really see anymore because of the tears rolling down his face, he had dropped onto the edge of the bed without noticing, not even trying to hold back that sob. Who knows how long Niall had been gone for, who knows where he was by now, fuck, it had taken Liam days to find him that one time and Niall hadn't been trying to hide from him back then. What if… what if he never saw Niall again?

"Liam? What the hell is going on? Are you… oh god, are you crying?! Liam! Talk to me, what's going on?" No idea how much time had passed with Liam just sitting there, not having much control over his body shaking, but he didn't care, hell, he didn't care about anything at all anymore. Niall had _promised_. "Liam… where's Niall?"

Sophia's hand on his back felt like getting an electric shock, it had Liam jumping up and backing away from her touch in less than a second, more tears spilling over as he stared at her sitting on the bed, clearly confused. "He's gone. He's fucking gone! He just left without saying a word to me, and… a-and h-he… f-fuck…"

"Are you sure he's gone, have you checked the-"

"For god's sake how dumb do you think I am?! YES, I have fucking checked everywhere for him and anyways, he left a freaking note, nothing else! Fuck, I messed it up, shit…" Maybe Sophia said something, but Liam wasn't listening, he was so angry while he kept on crying, not at Niall though, at himself, because whose fault could this have been otherwise? Liam hadn't payed enough attention to him and Niall had probably thought it was because he didn't want him here anymore, why didn't he understand that Liam cared more about him than he did about almost anything else in this world?! "FUCK!"

"Liam! You need to try and calm down, alright? Sit down and we'll talk okay, just… just stop punching things!" Because that's what he had done, punched the wall without thinking about it, he didn't feel it in his fingers, as if his whole body had gone numb somehow. How could he possibly sit down now, what was she thinking?!

"There's nothing to talk about, I gotta go find him, maybe he hasn't come too far." Without throwing another look at his girlfriend, who seemed very unsure about whether she should touch him or not, Liam stormed out of the room, the piece of paper crumbled up in his fist as he tried to wipe his tears and stay calm. He would find Niall, he HAD to find him, everything would be fine, he'd try harder this time, once he found Niall, he wouldn't give him any reason at all anymore to even think about leaving. 

"Liam, wait, we should talk about this first. Liam! Are you even listening to me?!" Simple question, no, Liam wasn't listening to anything right now other than the mantra of things he had done wrong replying in his head over and over again as he carelessly started pulling out clothes once back in his room, driven by fear and panic, what if something had already happened to Niall?! He was so small and way too sensitive for being on his own, Liam needed to protect him from whatever dangers there might be, he HAD to find him. 

So that's why he didn't even consider answering Sophia once he had gotten dressed in record time, his girlfriend was still in the doorway, Liam barely saw her shaking her head at him, which he chose to ignore, about to push past her. "Aright, I'll get in the car and I'll text the boys so they can help look for-"

"Lia-"

"-Niall and maybe a few of my friends can help too, I mean, we gotta find him at some point right? Maybe you can stay here in case he-"

"LIAM! God fucking dammit, listen to me for one second, alright?! Just ONE!" Alright, this had Liam flinching terribly, for a second freezing on the spot and looking at Sophia for the first time today, well, like really looking at her because she seemed to have gotten quite mad even as she let out a sigh now. What was her damn problem, she was just wasting Liam's time here, he needed to go. "Li, listen, you just gotta keep calm for a second and breathe, alright? You're gonna crash the car or something. Let me see that note, okay?"

Well, she did have a point there, Liam knew he was way too worked up now to be driving properly but he would do it anyways, unwillingly handing the paper over, at least his tears had stopped now that he had set his mind on it, he was definitely going to find Niall, there was no way that he wouldn't. It'd be fine, right? "Please hurry, I can't waste too much time, I'll be driving carefully, just-"

But Liam couldn't even finish before Sophia interrupted him, her eyes still scanning the paper, she didn't sound worked up over this at all now that Liam thought about it. It was as if she didn't even care, but… hadn't she said she liked Niall? That he was cute? Then why did it seem as if she was trying to keep Liam from going to look for the boy? "It doesn't seem like he wants you to find him, I mean… he even wrote it down, 'don't come looking for me', what if this is what he wants Liam? What if… what if he doesn't even wanna stay here? He's not yours, you know, and I know you're really attached to him and you liked taking care of him, but… it was his choice and it's his life, Li, you gotta consider that. He hasn't left because of no reason, you know and besides, you couldn't have kept him here forever, could you?"

Liam's jaw completely dropped at this, for a moment he even forgot that he had no time to lose, he just stared at Sophia while she was talking all calmly before looking at him, there was a _smile_ playing around her lips as she touched his arm lightly, almost setting him off.

"Liam, look. Maybe he'll come back by himself in a few days or so, just give him some time, maybe he has to sort out his mind, if you really find him then you would just be pressuring him, it was his own decision, you should respect that." WHAT?!

It took a few more seconds to let this sink in before Liam pulled his arm away angrily, violent almost, immediately wiping that pitiful smile off of Sophia's face. What the hell was she saying, that he should just let it be?! Just give up on Niall as if it was that easy, just forget about him?! "Are you fucking nuts?! I'm not gonna sit here and wait for him to maybe come back, he won't come back, don't you get it? He didn't leave because he wanted to, he left because he thinks he's a bother to me, because I messed up, I didn't spend enough time with him during the last few days, it's all my fault, and I have to find him and tell him that he could never be a bother to me, not in a million years, hell, I'll let him sleep in my bed every night if he wants that." 

Right, maybe this was not what you say to your girlfriend, but Liam had already gone for the front door anyways, well aware of the fact that he was being followed, but he couldn't waste his energy on a pointless discussion like this.

"You let him sleep in your bed? How many times?!" It came out unexpectedly sharp and loud, actually, Liam even stopped after putting his shoes on to look at her again, almost flinching because of how close Sophia had gotten. And how deadly her voice had sounded, she looked as if she might slit his throat in a second, almost as if she didn't want him to go and… wait…

"You don't want me to go looking for him. You're glad he's gone." Liam was more speaking to himself than to her, his voice sounding kinda numb as he let that realization sink in, suddenly overthrowing every theory he had had, every conclusion he had come to in the last few weeks. And he couldn't believe how blind he had been the whole time, it all fell into place now, suddenly all those 'weird' things made perfect sense. The reason why she had suddenly had had time to come over so often, why she had been so overly friendly to Niall and wanted to almost always spend the night. She had been trying to slowly but surely show Niall that she didn't want him here, hell, she had been fucking jealous nothing else! And Niall had known, he had felt unwelcome, of course he had, but he had kept on lying for Liam's sake, had maybe even been thinking that Liam wanted it to be this way as well. Oh god. "You don't even like him, do you? You never did, and you didn't want to get to know him better at all. I'm right, aren't I? You lied."

There was no response at first, Sophia had her arms crossed in front of her chest, not looking anywhere near guilty, she just shrugged with the same cold expression on her face, apparently not willing to talk about this. Liam was gonna throw up from all of this, he couldn't take this, he wanted nothing else than to pull Niall into his arms right now and just hold on, tell him a billion times that he didn't want him to leave ever again until the boy would finally believe him.

"Answer me!" It was Liam's turn now to get louder, this was overwhelming, tears were building back up in his eyes as he thought about how dumb he was, and how badly he had been fucked over by the girl he had once trusted with everything. "Your whole act here, it's because you were fucking jealous and nothing else! And Niall knew that, he left because of you!"

"Oh, right, now you're trying to blame ME?! He's just some kid from the streets Liam, you're making a fool out of yourself, you don't even know how he's really like, you've known him for a month!" They were almost full on yelling at each other now, Sophia had backed away, not because she was scared but because she was raging now, Liam could tell, they had gotten into fights like this way too often, he knew it was immature and more than a waste of time to stay here and yell at her, but he was so mad, he couldn't have possibly let this go. 

"Oh, but you know him better or what?!" Was this really happening right now?!

"I'm just not as naive as you are, have you even checked your wallet yet, who knows what he has taken before he left! You have lost your mind, Liam, and I'm telling you because I love you, so what if I was jealous?! I have every fucking right to, I'm your bloody girlfriend and you've been hanging around with a kid from the _streets_ , letting him sleep in the same bed as you without even considering telling me!Who even am I to you, Liam, please, I'd really like to know that now, come on, tell me." Right, if she wanted it this way, she could have it.

The last thing Liam could take was when Sophia got arrogant like this, it was one of the things that just got him mad at an instant, but since he had already been before and after she had dared calling Niall a _thief_ , he stepped closer to her, lowering his voice now as he almost spit the words out without thinking. "You're not the person I thought you were, that's for sure, and to answer your question, right now I'm not even sure if I even want to call you my friend anymore, not even talking about girlfriend. How could you do that? He's just a boy, Sophia! You're jealous because he needs me? Because he got no one else in the whole bloody world? That's the most selfish thing I have ever heard, hell, I made a whole lot of time for you during the past two weeks, if you wouldn't have accused me of cheating then we wouldn't have been ignoring each other for so long in the first place, this had nothing to do with Niall in any way! And you're calling ME the one who has gone insane and who doesn't care about our relationship when you're the one who just happens to suddenly have time to hang around here almost every single day but not because of me, no, you just wanted to get Niall to leave! "

For a moment there, as Liam had to catch his breath, Sophia's facial expression crumbled a bit, but she kept it together, letting out a fake laugh that gave Liam goosebumps. "You know what, Liam? Go fuck yourself. Go and look for that boy or whatever it is you wanna do, you're not gonna find him again anyways, and if you do then you better watch your back, because I'd bet you anything the reason why he even stayed for so long wasn't for _you_ but for what you got in your wallet."

Wow, was this for real? Had she just SERIOUSLY said that? Liam was so done now, he almost laughed at how ridiculous this had gotten, snatching his wallet and the keys from the counter then, hand on the door handle as he looked at her again shortly, she seemed pretty close to crying now actually, but he couldn't have cared less in this moment, usually he would have, even during a fight, but she had crossed the line this time. "I want a break, from _us_ , a long one and if what you said about Niall is true, which it isn't, then I'm starting to think he wouldn't be the only one who is only after my money."

With that, Liam simply left, smashing the door closed behind him before jogging down the corridor towards the elevator, almost having completely forgotten about Sophia once he got into his car. He needed to find Niall, he just had to.

 

———————

 

"It's all my own fault anyways." Staring out of the window, Liam almost started crying yet again, his eyes and face were burning now from basically having had tears spilling over every two seconds for the whole day long. No trace of Niall, nothing, no one had even seen him even as Liam had started showing random people pictures of him, not caring anymore whether they'd turned out to be fans. He would've tweeted about it as well, if Harry and Louis hadn't stopped him from doing so, promising that they'd find Niall for sure. But they hadn't.

Right after Liam had left his apartment, he had immediately called everyone up he thought could help him to explain the situation, even some of his friends who hadn't even known about Niall in the first place, but they all lived here, Liam had thought that maybe someone would have to stumble over him at some point. But nothing, it was as if Niall had only existed in Liam's mind or something, he wasn't gonna survive this, now that it was getting dark and he knew how scared Niall was all by himself at night, it made Liam's chest ache to imagine the boy all alone and cold and crying. Fuck.

"It's not, Liam, you know that. It isn't anyone's fault really, I mean sure, Sophia, um… behaved like a b-… a bit wrong." Harry quickly corrected himself, he was in the backseat, leaning his chin onto the passenger seat where Louis was next to Liam in the front, not driving right now though, he had just stopped the car in an empty side street, since they had been searching all day long, separately up until like an hour ago. Liam was so grateful for them immediately canceling all of their plans to come and help him, Louis had completely gotten over his worries the last few weeks, he seemed almost as concerned as Liam. 

"She's such a bitch." She was, Liam didn't even feel bad for saying what everyone was thinking anyways, he wasn't quite sure of his feelings towards her anymore, but the fact that the possibility existed that he might never see Niall again made him not want to even see her ever again. Of course she had rights as his girlfriend, a right to be jealous, but it hadn't been Liam's fault though and besides, she could've just talked to him like a normal fucking person, right?! But then again, so could have Niall, and neither of them had even tried to. The difference between them was that Sophia had lied because she had been trying to do things she knew Liam would disapprove of, things that would hurt him, and Niall had lied because he hadn't wanted Liam to feel bad or guilty. So why in god's name should Liam ever go back to her?

"Well… yeah. But look, let's not talk about her anymore, we should just focus on finding Niall, okay? There are a lot of places we haven't looked yet, I mean he could be like…" Louis' voice drifted off then and silence settled over them for a few seconds as they took that in, causing Liam to get even more depressed than he had already been. 

"Anywhere." He finished his bandmate's sentence before sighing deeply, rubbing his palms over his face, trying to force those tears back into his body that were welling up. "For all we know, he could've taken a fucking train to god knows where. A goddamn plane even, I wasted too much time fighting with Sophia this morning, it cost me at least half an hour."

"I doubt that Niall left in the morning, he probably did late at night, Li, besides, half an hour isn't exactly what would've made the difference. And I doubt that he got on a plane, he doesn't have any money." True, why had Niall done this for god's sake?! Liam would have actually felt better to know that Niall had at least stolen all of his money so he knew the boy didn't have to starve, but no, of course Niall was perfectly honest and sweet and caring and risking his own life here, and fuck, Liam missed him so much it physically hurt .

"Well, he somehow managed to get here from Ireland as well and don't ask me why or how because I don't know. Fucking shit." Liam hit the steering wheel out of anger, with his palm only because the knuckles on his hand were swollen from earlier when he had punched the wall, once all the adrenaline from being so panicked and scared had slowly left him again, the pain had come instead. But what'd that matter anyways, Liam would've cut his whole arm off if he could'e just had Niall back.

"He couldn't have possibly gotten here himself, if you said he's been here for two years, that would've made him like barely 15, I highly doubt that. And anyways, we don't even know whether he really has a passport, he hasn't gotten on a plane, I can assure you, Li." Right, Liam had never told them that, couldn't hurt right?

"Oh, he has a passport, he showed it to me like two weeks ago." Immediately, both of them seemed to lean closer, causing Liam to throw a confused look at them, what were they on about, did it really matter now, Niall was fucking gone!

"He did? What's his full name?" Louis almost fell into Liam's lap while asking this, had he gone mental or something.

"Horan. Niall James Horan. And everything else he said has been true as well by the way… right, and he said he got the passport picture taken when he was fourteen, so that means he must've still been home then…or you know, with someone to take care of him." And at this second, Liam should've been the one taking care of this adorable, dumb boy yet he was here in his car with his two bandmates discussing completely irrelevant shit just so he'd procrastinate having to take them home and being on his own. Not as if Liam would go to sleep tonight, he'd keep searching for Niall, he didn't care how long it'd take, he'd find this kid.

"Right. And where was he from again, something with M, wasn't it?" For some reason, this information seemed to be very essential for Louis, but Liam didn't really question it, he was just staring out of the window again into almost complete darkness, answering without thinking.

"Mullingar." Sad thing was, that was all the information Liam had, he should've asked Niall, about his past, he knew the boy didn't want to talk about it, but maybe Liam had made him feel as if he hadn't been interested into his story, maybe that's why he had left. "Let's go look some more… or do you guys wanna get home?" 

They shared a look over this before Harry laughed quickly, giving Liam a push against his shoulder. "Of course we'll go looking some more, it's not even that late yet. You know, Li, we can, um… stay home as well, we don't have to go tomorrow."

Right, Harry and Louis had planned on going home to Harry's family for a few days, which would mean everyone would be away except for Liam, no one left to help him searching for Niall. It was very tempting to ask them to stay here but he couldn't do that, Zayn had offered coming home from the fucking Maldives because of Niall but Liam had told him no of course, he couldn't ask for that much, from any of them. "No, it's fine, you should go, I… I'm sure I'll find him."

"Yeah… I mean, you did it once, right? And he's really obsessed with you, it wouldn't surprise me if he just showed up on your doorstep tomorrow or so." Or so. Or never, because though this sounded nice, Liam knew that it wasn't going to happen, Niall wouldn't have left if he had planned on coming back anyways, he hadn't even come to Liam a month ago when he had almost died from his cold, he was too much set on the idea that he was a bother and annoying, that no one wanted him, that he had to do this on his own. 

But he had Liam, he wasn't alone anymore, why didn't that get into his head?!

 

—————

 

The first night without Liam was seriously one of the hardest things Niall had ever had to go through, honestly. There wasn't even one single positive side to this other than the fact that Niall didn't feel like the most annoying person in the world anymore. Well, he did somehow feel like a waste of space though, because he was, but what'd that matter now, right? He had his old life back, well, not his OLD life, but yeah, after a month of being in heaven, Niall had to face reality again and it turned out that things had gotten even rougher in the meantime.

Problem number on was that Niall had no money at all and no time to get any either before Liam would find out that he was gone, which brought him to problem number two, he needed money to get away from the city because number three, Liam would sooner or later find him maybe. IF he even went looking for Niall, because let's be honest, who wouldn't be happy about getting rid of him? Now Liam had finally made up with his girlfriend again and they could live happily ever after without Niall bothering anyone, that was how it should be.

The thing was though, Niall had enough of London now, everything reminded him of Liam, from the second he had walked around a corner he wanted to already run back again and hide in the older boy's arms, but he kept on going anyway, even while crying.

It was the first time then that Niall got on a train without paying, he couldn't have since he had no money anyways, but it actually worked until he got noticed eventually, not getting kicked out immediately because his appearance made him look like a normal kid for once, plus, his story about how he had forgotten his wallet at home and then the fact that he had been so emotional the whole time that he could just start crying right on the spot. Truth be told, Niall hadn't even thought about that maybe this could work out until he got asked by some old lady where he was even going and he blurted out any stop that he had remembered seeing from before and she actually fucking _paid_ for Niall. Wow, what the hell was happening, was this all just because he had normal clothes on?

Of course that also meant Niall had to get off for real at said station, thanking the woman a few more times because well, he was just a polite person and he still couldn't believe that this had actually worked. Not that he'd do it again though, Niall wasn't someone who didn't pay, it had just been necessary this time.

The downside to all of this was that the place he was at now was of course a lot smaller than London, which also meant less tourists feeling bad for him. But Niall would have to pull through it now, he had brought this on himself after all.

Five days had passed now, one of the most horrible days in Niall's entire being probably, which said something because he had had A LOT of those, and it wasn't even about being hungry or cold or tired, no, it was simply Liam's absence that caused Niall's condition to be at a low point. The lack of cuddles and kisses and general feeling as if someone cared hit Niall harder than he would've expected, he had known that this would get hard, just not THIS hard. But what had he expected honestly, he couldn't go back anymore anyways, he probably wouldn't even be able to get on the right train, maybe he was lucky and ran out of tears at some point. He highly doubted it though. 

It was already evening now as Niall walked around a bit, that was the nice part of being a little outside, there were actually trees and grass and not constantly people bitching about him being here. But it also held a lot of negative side of course, for example that he had hardly gotten any money from begging, and that there were not too many places he could spend the night at if he didn't wanna sleep in the bushes. Which was all bearable because all those problems seemed pretty small compared to the one Niall had the most trouble dealing with. He constantly had time to think around here, when nothing was going on, hardly any traffic, it was just Niall and his mind, he hated it.

Being lost in thoughts once again, Niall just wandered along some path, it was quite pretty actually, because of the trees around him and it being fall and all, even if he couldn't really fully enjoy it, especially not when his mind drifted off to a certain someone again and he forgot to watch his step, immediately being sent face forward to the ground. Hell, why was he always so damn clumsy?! "Ow…"

It hurt pretty badly actually, especially his hands because he had been trying to stop the fall, his backpack had slipped off too but Niall didn't pay much attention to that, his sight was all blurry as he sat up, scrunching his face up in pain as he choked back a sob, he was such a god damn baby for wanting Liam even more right now. Well, so much for taking care of himself, he hadn't even managed to keep his clothes clean and hole-free for five whole days. "Oh, are you okay?"

That voice had Niall's head shooting up in no time, his heart immediately bumping faster, trying hard to fully concentrate on the face in front of him to judge whether it would be appropriate to run away despite the stinging pain in his knees and palms. "U-Um… y-yeah…"

It was a girl, well, actually, she was probably older than a girl, Niall had to admit, he hadn't really payed any attention to whether he had been alone or not, but she didn't look as if she had been secretly following him to murder him or anything, in fact, she was smiling a bit, coming closer before leaning down a bit. "That fall didn't look like it felt too comfortable, huh? I'd offer you a hand, but um…"

Right, now that Niall took a look down, there was a bit blood on his palms, not too much, but it still hurt, plus, he wasn't really good with blood, so he just swallowed, trying not to be too nervous or act too suspicious as he attempted to get up. "It's okay…t-thanks…"

"Well, I didn't do anything…oh, careful." She actually reached out to hold Niall's elbow as he got to his feet carefully, a little worried now as she watched him, maybe because he was a little shaky, plus he was pretty sure there shouldn't have been stars dancing in front of his eyes. Get yourself together, Niall, you're not gonna pass out from stumbling! "Here, let me get your backpack, okay?"

Before Niall could protest, the girl had already bent down to get it, she even tried to clean off the dirt a bit before probably realizing that it was permanent, just handing it over to Niall without a comment though. Why was she so nice? First that lady on the train a few days ago, now this… "Thank you…"

"Hey, no problem. You know actually, you should probably put something on those scratches, not that it gets infected or anything." Niall wanted to say no, but then he looked down at his knees to see the full damage, his jeans were torn on one leg, the warmth he had felt there turning out to be even more blood. He was gonna vomit, he needed to leave.

"Yeah, I… I-I'll g-go h-home and… and p-put something o-over them…" What if this really did get infected though?! Niall had no band aids or anything and he couldn't spend his money on any either, he already felt light headed from eating so little!

"Hmm… I think my brother may even have some band aids, let me just call him, he's just over there." No, VERY bad idea, brothers didn't sound like a good idea, unless they were kids, but somehow Niall didn't think so at all. 

"N-No, it's o-okay, I-"

"HEY, HAZ! COME OVER HERE FOR A SEC, ALRIGHT?!" Damn, that girl could yell, Niall would've covered his ears out of instinct if this palms hadn't been burning as if they were on fire, he just stood there, more pathetic than ever, praying hard that her brother was just half as nice as her, because he couldn't have even run away right now.

There was some yelled answer and Niall got a reassuring smile and a tissue to wipe the blood a bit, not really daring to look up though when he heard someone else's footsteps, he would have to eventually, but hearing the guy's deep voice had him keeping his head lower for longer, pretending to just be busy pressing the tissue to his palm. Even if… that guy somehow sounded familiar. "….no need to yell so loud, I'm not deaf. Right now, what's wrong? And who is… wait…oh bloody hell"

He just broke off mid sentence, Niall thinking that something had happened lifted his head now, first of all meeting the girl's confused stare and then his eyes shifted a bit to look at her brother and he might have as well had a stroke right then and there, freezing on the spot. Her brother was HARRY! How the hell could they meet here?! Like THIS?! This couldn't be coincidence, but Harry just stared back at Niall, as surprised as the younger boy, and then as his sister opened her mouth to maybe ask what was going on, Harry started laughing loudly, it sounded more shocked than amused though. "NIALL! Oh my god, Gemma, you found him, I can't believe this! What the hell are you doing here, buddy?! Shit, you know how bloody worried Liam is about you, he's gonna get himself killed if he doesn't start sleeping again soon! Hell, I can't believe we finally found you!"

There was no time for Niall to let any of this sink in before Harry had decided to ignore all of the blood and the scratches, just swooping Niall up in his arms, causing the blonde to loose ground underneath his feet for a bit. What the fuck was Harry doing here?! This was not good, this messed up Niall's whole plan! And even more because he was still stuck at the words 'Liam is worried about you'. "Harry, I-"

"HEY, LOUIS! LOOK WHO WE FOUND!" Great, now he was yelling as well, right into Niall's ear as he placed him on the ground again, his grin was so big, Niall thought his face might split apart any second, and what the hell, why was Louis here as well? They were like, at the end of the bloody world. 

The problem was though, despite all of Niall's 'oh I'm never gonna go back again' and 'I will just forget about all of it' his heart made big jumps at seeing Harry and he couldn't help but instantly feel a lot safer and calmer, not even minding the other boy cupping his cheeks and pressing a kiss to Niall's forehead that lasted a lot longer than a peck. Why was he so happy about seeing him? Hadn't they all been annoyed by Niall's presence?

"God, I'm so happy, Niall, don't you ever dare running off ever again, you hear me?" Wait, did Harry think Niall would just come back with them, he couldn't, he needed to tell Harry, needed to make him understand that it was impossible because Sophia and anyways he-

"Niall?!" And that's how Niall's thoughts and worries got interrupted another time as Louis showed up all of a sudden, who, Niall had thought, had had the most against him, but the way his mouth curled into a smile before he came over to pull him out of Harry's arms into his own didn't really fit to that explanation. What was even going on? "How did you get here?! We've been looking everywhere for you, Niall, Liam's been living in his car for five days searching for you!"

"I-I… r-really?" But Niall had told him not to? Shit, he shouldn't feel flattered by that, shouldn't get butterflies in his tummy, he couldn't stay with them, no way, he had made his decision, there was no going back now.

"Of course, Ni! What do you think, that he would just forget about you or something? He's been crying nonstop as well, we were planning on going back home tomorrow or maybe even tonight so he wouldn't be alone anymore, he's really not well at all." Of course Louis wasn't saying that to make Niall feel guilty, he still had his arm around Niall, rubbing his shoulder as if he was genuinely happy to have him here, but still, Niall's heart dropped at this. He hadn't thought Liam would be this affected by him leaving, had he really made the older boy cry when all he had ever wanted was for him to be alright? 

"But, he's not alone he… he's got Sophia after all…" Not being able to not sound a little bit whiny, Niall was just mumbling, looking down now, surprised to see the blood on his hands, he had almost forgotten about it over everything happening. God, how he wished Liam was here as well to hug and kiss him, and… no, bad idea.

"Um, well, he doesn't actually, not anymore… I mean… there's a lot we gotta talk about, Niall." Wait what?!

"What do you mean? And what's with Sophia?" They exchanged a look, deciding not to speak anymore apparently after sparking Niall's interest, he almost kept urging them to say something, and maybe he would have, if Harry's sister hadn't suddenly spoken up. Right, her name was Gemma, at least that's what Harry had called her, Niall wasn't too informed, hell, he didn't even know Liam's sisters' names!

"I know this is really exciting and I'm really happy I found him, but we should take Niall home, he's still bleeding after all." No, he couldn't go _home_ with them, anyways, what did she mean by that, they were in some random town far away from where Harry and Louis lived.

Niall never got the chance to ask though, because Harry and Louis agreed immediately, not even asking Niall whether he even wanted to, but as things were right now, the fact that Louis just pulled the backpack off of him to carry it himself while Harry only hesitated for a second, looking at Niall's torn jeans before simply picking Niall up like a baby didn't leave him much of a choice now did it?

Truth was, there was nothing in the world Niall would have rather done than staying with them right now, deep down he wanted them to force him to go back to Liam, so he wouldn't have to feel as if it had been his own decision, then he could always blame those two in his mind whenever he started feeling guilty for wasting Liam's time. But they probably wouldn't wrap him up and just send him back to London without asking him, and anyways, that's not what Niall should have been thinking about at all, he shouldn't have even let Harry carry him. Then again though… his knees hurt and he had missed someone talking to him and holding him, even if he would've preferred Liam one thousand times, Niall still wrapped his arms around Harry's neck then, only so he wouldn't slip of course. For once, the constant surprises in his life hadn't left him sobbing and feeling like absolute shit, the only question was… what now?

"Um, Harry, I… I don't know if this is a good idea and I don't wanna bother you guys and anyways, where are we even going why are you here-"

"Shh, Niall, if you want me to answer your questions you gotta let me answer, okay?" Harry chuckled as Niall flushed but he nodded anyways, the weirdness of the situation becoming more obvious as they walked, Harry in between Louis and Gemma who both smiled at Niall whenever he accidentally looked at them until he kept his eyes down out of embarrassment. If he would have at least walked by himself… "So, this is my home town, and that is my sister Gemma as you probably figured out, we're visiting our mum for a few days, you'll meet her in a second. And don't you get nervous now, Ni, everyone knows about you already anyways, even Gemma did, she just didn't recognize you right away." 

"W-What? Why does everyone know about me?!" And who was _everyone_?

"Because Liam freaked the hell out and texted everyone he knew and shoved his phone into stranger's faces to show them pictures of you in case they have seen you." What pictures?! "Which reminds me, I gotta call Liam and tell him that-"

"NO! No, Louis, please, don't tell him now, I… I can't, I, I mean…." Niall's curiosity quickly vanished at the thought of anyone calling Liam right now, they couldn't do that, because Niall's would buckle in as soon as he just heard Liam's voice, but he couldn't, he hadn't left just so now he could go back again as if it was nothing.

Despite his little outbreak, no one seemed to be mad at Niall, they just kept on walking normally until Louis sighed defeatedly after having exchanged a few looks with the other two that Niall probably hadn't been supposed to see. "Alright, Ni, look, I'm not gonna call him now even if I feel like an asshole because I know he's home looking for you once again, but in return, Harry and I can ask you a few things, nothing bad, alright? We just wanna talk to you, nothing else, you're still free to go wherever you want to afterwards, but you'll come home with us now and stop worrying about whether you're a bother to anybody because you're not nor have you ever been. Deal?" 

That was about the worst deal Niall had ever heard but he nodded anyways, if no one just told Liam, he knew they were going to eventually, somehow he wanted them to, just like he would've loved to believe that Liam really had gone this insane about Niall leaving because he missed him just as much as Niall missed Liam. But they were probably just trying to make him feel better anyways.

 

——————

 

To be quite honest, Niall wasn't really sure about any of this anymore as he was sat on the edge of the bathtub in Harry's mum's house, wearing a pair of the curly haired boy's training shorts while his mum, Anne has Niall had been ordered to call her, was dabbing at the scratches on his knees with something that felt as if she was trying to burn his skin off rather than disinfecting it. How could it have ever come this, this was more than just obnoxious. 

"Don't worry, love, it'll stop hurting in a few seconds, I'm almost done. And you're doing really good, much better than Harry, when he was your age he would still always cry like a baby." Good thing then she wasn't looking up into Niall's face because there were tears pooling in his eyes, he choked back a sob.

"Mhmm." Was all he could press out through clenched teeth, don't get him wrong, Niall appreciated this a lot, he was a little jealous too, because Harry's mum was so nice, she had thought nothing at all about immediately letting them in and asking Niall fifty times what he wanted to drink and promising him she would make him something to eat later because he looked like he needed it apparently. Why was everyone so accepting of him? This definitely wasn't normal, but then again, who was Niall to complain, he couldn't help but feel safe here, liking the way he was being treated a little bit as if he was a child. 

Even though, of course, there was only one person Niall would have really wanted to do all of this right now. Liam would have kissed his band aids afterwards as well to make him feel better, he had done that once after Niall had burned himself in the kitchen, and maybe Niall had just imagined that, but the pain had started fading immediately.

"Alright, all done, you did really good, Niall." As soon as she had put the band aids on, Anne smiled softly at Niall before starting to collect the stuff from the floor, Niall would have helped her, but he was a bit in pain right now seeing as he had gone through the whole procedure twice, once for his palms, once for his knees.

"Thank you a lot…um, I really appreciate it." He did, though he knew that it was probably just pity, since she had obviously already known about Niall before, who knows what kinda stories she had heard about him.

"Oh, you're very welcome, don't worry about it, alright?" Another smile that Niall returned weakly, still not feeling well enough to stand up, but she didn't seem to mind, just putting the things away before turning to Niall again, handing him a towel from the cupboard. "Now, I'm gonna go make something to eat and you do whatever you feel like, alright? You can go wash up here or you can go find Harry and Louis, they're probably in the room down the hall. Just make yourself feel like home, okay, Niall?"

"O-Okay… thank you." Blushing terribly as she ruffled his hair slightly, Niall felt pretty rude for not looking at her directly before she left, but she seemed to think of him as a child anyways so maybe she didn't think anything of it at all.

There was no question whether Niall would take the offer to wash up a bit, it turned out to be very painful though, so he just did the necessary, hoping he didn't smell as if he had just spent five days outside, which he had, but it had been pretty cold, so at least no sweat or anything. 

Afterwards, Niall was a bit shy to just walk around in the house like that, not really knowing where he was actually going and accidentally walking into an empty room which had him blushing quite badly even though no one was there anyways. He wasn't really used to any of this, just Liam's apartment and it'd be a lie to say that he didn't miss it terribly right now, not half as much as Liam himself though, it gave Niall a sting every second step, to think that there was a possibility Liam might be missing him as well.

Once Niall had finally found Harry and Louis, in what he assumed must've been Harry's old room, he carefully slid inside, not really knowing what to say even if they smiled at him from their place on the bed. "You alright, Niall? My mum didn't ask you too many questions, did she? If so then I'm sorry, she just thinks you're very cute, we told her about you when we came here and I think she almost took a train to London to go help Liam looking for you herself."

"Oh…. um, no, she… she's really nice, yeah…" Shyly walking over to sit on the empty spot next to them as Louis petted it, motioning for Niall to come here, Niall kept his eyes down, knowing what was to come now, their talk or whatever they had in mind, he'd find out in a second probably. "So, um… "

"Right, let's get to this. No need to be nervous, yeah? It's just us." Yeah, that kinda was the problem though Niall nodded anyways when Louis spoke up, refusing to look up though and staring holes into the blanket instead. "Okay, Niall, I'm gonna say a few things now, and I'm gonna ask you to just listen, alright? Even if you disagree or whatever, just… let me finish, okay?"

"Okay…" That was better than having to talk himself to be honest, it was so weird sitting here with them when two hours ago Niall had been all alone trying not to freak out because he had no place to sleep.

"Alright then." Louis took a breath, he might have moved even closer into Harry than they had already been anyways, they probably had even been cuddling before Niall had stomped in here. "Okay, Niall, the thing is that I know you actually do want to go back to Liam or you wouldn't even be here with us right now. And don't get me wrong, I know that we kinda forced you, but you know what you want yourself, you don't have to say it or anything. This is your life Niall, and obviously none of us can decide for you, but I'm telling you right now, just because I know that you love Liam and also because he's like our brother and he's probably gonna keep searching for you even if it takes him years and it's killing him inside. He's a good guy, Niall, no, he's one of the best people you could ever meet and he cares a hell lot about you, I can promise you that his last wish was for you to leave, he'd never kick you out either, that's just who he his, if he cares about someone once, he's not gonna stop. And you seem to mean more to him than pretty much anyone else. So I'm asking you to please overthink this, Niall, I can see it in your face that you wanna go back to him and he wants you to, Ni, probably more than anything else right now. He's a freaking mess."

Hearing this was really hard for Niall, there were tears welling up in his eyes now as he was still just watching the blanket, twisting his fingers together almost painfully. Louis was so right about everything, he didn't just want to go back to Liam, he wanted it so badly it actually hurt. But the last two weeks he had been there were still to present, Niall couldn't go back if things were like that. "What… what about Sophia though? I… I mean she's, um… really… nice, but I'm just a bother when she's there and… and anyways, Liam will see that it's better like this and I should live my own life and Liam should live his because that's how it's supposed to be."

"That's complete and utter bullshit, Niall." Harry almost sounded amused, which really was the only reason why Niall looked up automatically, flushing hard as he noticed both of the other two staring at him. Why were they trying to convince him, Liam couldn't be as bad as they said, Niall was just Niall after all, he was nobody, his absence couldn't effect someone that much, impossible. 

"It's not, it's the truth. I can't go back, Liam is really happy with Sophia and I don't wanna-"

"They broke up." Wait…

"What?!" It seemed as if Louis hadn't planned on saying it but then he just shrugged anyways as Harry threw a side glance at him, suddenly reaching out to ruffle Niall's hair to which he didn't react, because how had that happened? "But… but Liam seemed so happy with her and… I don't understand, that can't be, no way."

"Listen, Niall. Liam knows." That didn't help Niall understand in any way, he was just staring at the two of them, confused and a little shocked as well and maybe… even if he tried really hard to deny it, a little hopeful. "The reason why you left, he knows it now, and he's been blaming himself every day for not seeing what Sophia has been trying to achieve. You should've talked to him, Niall, seriously, he wouldn't have gotten mad, you're not the one who has done anything bad."

Oh. Now that did change things a little bit, Liam knew what his girlfriend had been trying to do, only after she had succeeded though, but at least he had realized it at all in the end. Which would also mean that… "It's my fault they broke up, Liam must hate me now for lying to him, but I… I only did it because he was so happy and I…."

Wow, now this was maybe even worse, Niall's stomach dropped again immediately after that tiny moment of hope growing inside of him, just to being stomped again. After all, he had never blamed Sophia for doing this, Liam was HER boyfriend after all, she had every right to get jealous, didn't she?

For some reason though, Harry and Louis seemed to disagree on that, they were already shaking their heads half a second after what Niall had said, he felt pretty guilty now though, hardly looking into their faces as one of them reached out to hold Niall's wrist for a second before speaking up, it was Louis, Niall had been so wrong being afraid of him in the beginning. "No, not because of you, Niall, he isn't mad at you, alright? Liam told us the whole story, how he found your note and all that, and how Sophia started acting strange as if she didn't want him to go looking for you and well… apparently they got in a huge fight and she kinda admitted everything, she even accused you of only being after Liam's money, I can't blame him for breaking up with her after that. Or well, they are only taking a break or something, but I doubt there's anything gonna come out of this again, they've been fighting a lot during the past few months, it's not your fault, Niall. And anyways, she's a grown up woman, she should be aware of her actions and understand that Liam taking you in had nothing to do with her at all. Either way, none of this is your fault and in case this makes you wanna go back more, Liam said that he feels like shit for not spending enough time with you and that he'd cuddle you for a week straight once he found you."

Shit, that DID make Niall go back more, hell, they couldn't make all of this up could they?! Some of it had to be true, Liam had to miss him a tiny little bit at least and knowing that alone almost caused Niall's tears to spill over. There was nothing he wanted more than cuddling with Liam for a week straight, maybe even a few kisses… damn, Niall was gonna start bawling any second. "B-But…"

"But what, Niall? I know you really like Liam and it's okay, you know, it's okay if you need him, you can admit it to yourself, it's okay wanting someone to take care of you and allowing them to do it, you don't have to feel bad about it, Ni. Everything's fine." It was far from that actually, but the way Louis rubbed his thumb along Niall's skin, plus his soft voice caused a few tears to spill over that Niall hastily wiped away, embarrassed for being a baby once again but he couldn't help it, he suddenly really wanted to ask whether he could borrow a phone to call Liam to come and get him right at this second.

"I-it's j-just t-that…. " Yeah what?

"Just what, Ni?" Someone was rubbing his back gently all of a sudden and Niall couldn't help but sniff, he wasn't crying but he felt very close to doing it, not knowing how to explain it when he wasn't even quite sure himself. All Niall was certain of right now was that they knew too much already, even before he did himself apparently, so what was the point in trying to lie and talk himself out of it?

"Just that… I… it's so hard to … to trust someone and I know that Liam would never wanna hurt me, but… but I'm so scared of losing him one day, because I… I lost a lot of people and I-I… it seems so weird that… that someone would care about me…" Right, this was more than just embarrassing, but to Niall's surprise, there came no answer for quite a while, the hand on his back didn't stop rubbing circles though and Harry and Louis were looking at each other right now for 100%, communicating without talking as they always seemed to do, it's not that Niall didn't know that they were dating and just holding back in font of him. Which wasn't the point right now anyways, the point was that just as his tears were a second from spilling over once again, he was suddenly pulled into a hug, knowing that it was Harry immediately without even looking.

Niall tensed up for a second before giving in rather quickly, it just felt too good right now to be cuddled, so he pressed his face into Harry's shoulder, wetting his shirt as he silently cried, choking back more than just one sob as the curly haired boy suddenly spoke up again, quieter this time. "Niall, shh, it's okay, it's fine, we get it, okay? But you gotta talk to Liam, I think there are a lot of things you haven't told him, but you should, it'll get better, you know, if you talk about it."

"N-No… i-it's h-horrible t-things and… a-and h-he w-wouldn't l-like m-me a-anymore…" Why would he, Niall was a horrible person, he couldn't tell anybody what had happened two years ago, they'd all hate him for sure.

Surprisingly enough, there was even more silence as Niall just kept on crying into Harry's shoulder, even clinging to his shirt now, wanting nothing more than finally, _finally_ getting a hug from Liam again. "He will always like you, Niall, no matter what it is, you know?" 

"H-How'd y-you k-know?" In fact it was so bad, Louis couldn't even imagine it probably.

Or maybe he could. "Because, um… alright, Niall, look, I didn't wanna tell you this, and I swear, I haven't said a word to Liam, it's just me and Harry who know about it but… we asked Liam after your full name, and well… it wasn't so hard finding out then, your hometown is pretty small and… and things like that happening don't exactly slip through…" HE KNEW?!

Immediately, Niall pulled back, wide eyes in shock, even his jaw might have dropped as he stared from Louis to Harry and back, both of them looking a bit worried, maybe even guilty, which Niall hardly took any notice of, he just couldn't believe this. Of course, he should've considered that this might eventually happen, but he never had because there had never been a reason to, he just hadn't anyone expected to actually go and do research, hadn't expected anyone to be this interested as to waste time on that topic. But they had, they knew, yet they had still treated Niall exactly like they had before. How could that be?

"Look, I'm sorry, we shouldn't have done that, and we don't have to talk about it at all, I just wanted to tell you because if it hasn't effected us, it won't effect Liam either. And, Niall… " Then Louis broke off, biting his bottom lip while Niall still hadn't managed to close his mouth, he was so embarrassed, and he felt so vulnerable, because he knew exactly what all of those articles had been saying, though it hadn't been openly against him, everyone could easily guess what exactly had happened. "Things like that, you know… they're nobodies' fault, and it's a horrible thing, more tragic than I could ever imagine, but you're the last person in the world to be blamed for this, I hope you know that. And Liam would agree with me if he was here right now, I promise."

This was way too much, there was nothing to say, for once, Niall wasn't even overthinking Louis' words, or thinking about how much he hated himself for everything that had happened, not only today, but the last two years. Maybe that was why he just fell back into Harry's embrace without getting an invitation to do so, he didn't even blush, not that his face could've gotten any more red, but the older boy hugged him back immediately, soothingly rubbing Niall's back while he kept crying. He was so done now, with everything. "It's gonna be okay, you're not alone, Niall, and you never have to be again, that's a promise, alright? … what're you doing, Lou?"

No idea what was going on, Harry was busy trying to calm Niall while Louis did whatever, Niall couldn't and also didn't want to check because he rather had his face hidden in Harry's shoulder, almost having fallen into his lap by now. Didn't seem like the other boy would've minded. "I'm calling Liam to tell him that we're gonna bring him his boy back." 

For a second, Niall almost sat up to keep Louis from doing it, even if he wanted this more than anything in the world, but then, to not feel too guilty, he told himself that he couldn't have stopped Louis anyways, that there wasn't even a need to try. So he curled further into Harry's warm embrace, not saying anything at all while trying to imagine it was Liam hugging him. 

"Hey, Li, what's going on?… no, I wasn't making fun of you… no… well, yeah… look, I know, but-… no, I was just gonna ask, can you come pick us from the train station in like, five hours, we still gotta eat dinner… why not?… Liam, I'm not making fun of you alright? If you don't believe me, maybe someone else can convince you to come, I'll hand the phone over, alright?" All during the conversation, Niall had felt an urge to just rip the phone out of Louis' hand, Liam was so _close_ , his voice was just a meter away from Niall though he couldn't hear a word the boy had been saying, he suddenly did when someone pressed the phone against his hair without a warning.

"-nd anyways, Louis, I can't believe you're being such an ass right now…. Louis? Hell, if you gave the phone to Harry I'm gonna personally make sure no train leaves Holmes Chapel ever again, just so you know." Goose bumps rose all over Niall's body at hearing his voice, even if it sounded a lot harsher and different on the phone, but he still let out an unwilling sob, causing Liam to hesitate for a second. "…Harry? Is that you?"

There went Niall's will to be strong and be brave, he suddenly knew exactly what he wanted as he reached up to hold the phone himself, clinging to it almost as he sniffed once more, eyes still closed and head on Harry's shoulder, probably looking like a freaking mess. But Niall didn't care anymore, he was tired of denying it, too weak to make it just one more day without Liam. He needed him, so, so much, and he'd never run away again for as long as Liam let him stay, he'd do anything if he could just be with that boy again and have him taking care of Niall because it had been the best feeling in the whole world. "N-No… L-Liam… i-it's m-me, I-I… I-I'm s-sorry… p-please c-come a-and g-get m-me…"


	8. Chapter 8

Liam felt really anxious as he waited for the train, it's not that he was scared or anything, he just still couldn't fully believe that this was happening right now. He had been searching for the past five days, nonstop, about to lose hope when Louis had suddenly called him a few hours ago. Hell, how had Niall even gotten to Harry's freaking home town?! And what if they hadn't gone there, or if Niall had gotten off the train somewhere else? Liam would've never seen him again.

As soon as he had heard Niall's voice, Liam had felt as if the biggest weight ever had been lifted off of him, though the boy had been sobbing and crying the whole time, Liam couldn't help but smile unwillingly, tears building up in his own eyes as he tried to calm the younger boy, having to tell him at least 20 times that he wasn't mad at him and that they could talk once he was here.

Turned out that Niall didn't feel okay with that idea at all, in fact, he didn't wanna get off the phone with Liam, so Louis and Harry obviously left him alone to have dinner or whatever it was, Liam hadn't properly payed attention, he couldn't when Niall was there crying his little heart out, making him feel more than just guilty for not being there to cuddle him. God, he couldn't wait to do that again.

They hadn't really talked about anything important though, Niall had mostly only choked out a mantra of 'I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again' that had Liam's heart beating faster while reassuring the boy that it was fine, that he was just glad that he was alright and most of all, that he was so happy Niall wanted to come back to him. For a few moments there, Liam had almost started believing that Niall had run away because he didn't actually like Liam or something, but turned out he seemed to like him even more than expected and hell, now that he hadn't seen the boy in so long, Liam felt like he cared even more for him, if that was any possible. Fact was, he'd never ever let it come this far again, now that he got another chance, Liam wasn't gonna mess it up.

When the train finally arrived, it was midnight already, which was good because there was a very slim chance for Liam or the others to get seen, not that he would have cared right now anyways, the hours between the phone call and now had passed so slowly, it could've as well been a week.

Still, Liam didn't walk up and down out of nervousness and being so eager to see the younger boy, he forced himself to stay calm, to just stand there and not look too desperate. Which he probably failed at terribly either way. Besides, trying to see them between all those people getting off the train as well would've been a drama anyways, considering that he somehow had to also keep his head down a bit and his hood up to be sure.

Something that Liam would've actually never expected considering Niall's general shyness and way to blame himself for everything thinking that Liam didn't want him, was to barely being able to catch a look at neither the blonde boy or his two bandmates as they showed up out of nowhere before the youngest didn't even hesitate, half throwing himself at Liam, his arms around his neck, so tightly as if he wanted to choke him. "Hey, careful, Ni, I-"

"I'm s-sorry, p-please d-don't be m-mad! I-I m-missed you s-so much…" Oh god, Liam's heart was breaking all over again, hearing Niall cry over the phone was terrible, but hearing it in real life while the boy was clinging to him, pressing his face into Liam's shoulder was the worst thing in the world. Yet still, Liam couldn't help but breathe out from relief, hugging back just as tight, to a point where Niall could barely stand on his tip toes anymore.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, I'm not mad, baby, I could never be. I'm just so glad you're okay and that you're here, okay? It's alright, Ni, please don't cry, I got you." Rocking them slightly, Liam pressed a kiss to the side of Niall's head, tears stinging in his eyes now, he couldn't decide what to feel, he was just so happy but at the same time feeling so bad and guilty because of all that had happened. "I missed you so much too, Niall…"

"I love happy ends." Right, Liam had completely forgotten about the other two, they were smiling as he opened his eyes, standing a bit further away but watching nevertheless, Harry was even carrying Niall's backpack for him. "He's only crying because he's tired and we woke him up five minutes ago, don't worry about it, Li."

Liam was barely listening, he attempted to pull away now, very gently, Niall resisted for a while before he obeyed, keeping his eyes down as Liam held him by his shoulders, still barely any distance between them. "Niall, hey… look at me, babe."

"W-What?" Niall sniffed a tiny little bit before lifting his head so that Liam could finally look at the face he had longed to see for the past few days, his cheeks were red and wet, eyes glassy, but looking at him put Liam to ease immediately, he managed half a smile as he leaned forward, pressing his lips against the boy's forehead, keeping them there for a while. 

"I care so much about you, you know, and no matter what happens I'm always gonna want you to stay with me and I would've kept looking for you for as long as I had to. So please promise me that next time, you come talk to me, if anything's off or if you're unsure or whatever else, come to me and we'll find a solution. But we can talk about everything tomorrow, okay? I'm just so glad I got you back and that you still wanna stay with me, it almost killed me not knowing where you are or whether you're alright." Maybe that would convince him that Liam really did mean everything, but all Niall did was starting to cry a little harder again, Liam tried his best wiping the boy's tears with his thumbs, it hurt to see him like this, but not even close to how it feel like to lose him.

"I-I p-promise…" Niall almost choked on his words and Liam smiled sadly, kissing the boy's nose before pulling him back into his arms, holding him for a bit longer because that's all Niall seemed to wanting to do, almost melting into the older boy's chest, nuzzling his face there.

"Come on, let's go home, Ni, it's late." And if what Louis had said was true then Niall really needed to go to bed, it almost got Liam excited to think about that he'd finally get to give the boy goodnight kisses again, he knew exactly what he was gonna do tonight and that was definitely not sleeping.

There was a weak nod from Niall as he allowed Liam to pull away a bit, he was shivering slightly and the older boy didn't hesitate or think about it as he took his hoodie off immediately, slowly letting go of Niall to hold it open for him so he could slip his arms inside. He did, while still sniffing and Liam's heart was aching as he made sure to pull the zipper up securely, not being able to pull his hand back then because Niall was already holding onto his wrist, making no secret about what he wanted yet not actually doing it. "You wanna hold my hand?"

Blush creeped into Niall's face as far as Liam could tell, but he nodded a bit, making Liam smile and the other two laugh. Even if there would've been a thousand paparazzi and fans, Liam would've still turned his hand to lace his fingers through Niall's, liking the way their hands fit together, feeling a bit sad because he could feel the bandaids against his palm, trying not to press too hard, because Niall had told him what had happened before on the phone, even if Liam hadn't heard half of it because of all the sniffing and sobbing.

As they walked back to the car, Niall hugged Liam's arm with his free one, sometimes leaning his head against the older boy, and though Liam was very aware of Harry's and Louis' amused faces, he couldn't help but smile the whole time, pressing kisses over kisses into the blonde hair, not being able to believe his luck right now. "You tired, Ni?"

"Yeah… a little bit." Probably a lot more than that, he had yawned really cutely before, almost having Liam cooing over him and offering that he could carry him but they were almost at the car. Well, he could just carry him upstairs to his apartment then, he had missed having the boy's body so close to his.

"You can take a nap in the car if you want and we'll be home in a bit anyways. You know, um… " Maybe Liam shouldn't have started this but now that he had, he kinda had to finish it, hoping he wasn't pushing it too far. "If you want to… I mean, it's cold in the guest room because I forgot to close the window and maybe… maybe you wanna sleep in my bed, um… I'd really like you to."

Cold in the guest room, Liam wanted to slap himself for making up such obvious lies, normally he would've just asked Niall casually, but he felt like he couldn't do that now. So luckily, Harry and Louis hadn't been listening and Niall took a second to answer, but only because he had to yawn again before Liam heard his sleepy voice, the boy's warm cheek pressed up against his upper arm, fingers clenching tightly around Liam's. "Me too…"

Thank god, Liam had almost been scared that Niall would get mad or something, but he was just whispering and, as Liam looked down shortly, maybe there was a smile tugging on his lips that got Liam more than just happy. That's one thing he had missed terribly, for more than five days because ever since Sophia had… happened, Liam hadn't woken up with the blonde boy sprawled out on top of him and insisting Liam stayed to cuddle for a while even though he always denied it later with the excuse that 'I was just dreaming, I have no idea what I said' and a very blushed face. "Good, because I really missed you drooling on me in your sleep."

For a second, Niall didn't react before looking up, slightly pouting and making Liam laugh, relieved that he was still allowed to make jokes despite everything. "I've never ever drooled on you, Li."

Instead of answering immediately, Liam pressed a kiss to the top of the younger's head, squeezing his hand gently as he fumbled in his pockets to search for the car keys. "Im just messing with you, babe. You'e so cute."

Immediately, Niall looked away, flushing even harder as Liam unlocked the car now, going over to the passenger seat and pulling Niall with him by his hand before slowly attempting to let go, very carefully though, not wanting Niall to think he was keen on letting go. Because he wasn't at all, he even brought their intertwined hands up to kiss the back of Niall's.

So then the younger boy obeyed, his fingers flipping from Liam's as he threw a quick look at his face before climbing into the car, all while Liam pretended he needed to help just because he wanted to keep on touching Niall, even putting the seatbelt on for him in the end, very well aware of the younger boy leaning towards him when they were this close. "All good?"

"Yeah…" Niall's voice was really quiet, his face all red both from flushing and crying, but he looked right at Liam now, big blue eyes only centimeters away from Liam, causing him to lean down and kiss the boy's temple without even planning to. There was just no way to resist him.

Harry and Louis had barely spoken a word to either of them, they had just been walking a bit behind, talking quietly to each other, very obviously giving Niall and Liam the time alone that they needed, but Liam still needed to thank them for everything, which he didn't wanna do while having Niall listening though, so that had to wait. Instead, he settled for flashing them a smile as they got into the backseat and he went for the driver's one after having closed Niall's door more carefully than he had ever tried being with this car. 

"Any fans on the train?" Liam tried to sound casual as he started the car and pulled out on the street, in reality though, he was just worried, because he knew how nervous Niall could get and though he wouldn't care if the whole story came out, but he didn't necessarily want it to happen before he and Niall had talked about certain things. Because they really had to now and as much as Liam hated it, he might have to finally ask. 

"One or two. It was fine, they didn't even see Louis and Niall." Right, wouldn't be very good for them to get seen together either, Liam tended to forget them trying to hide their relationship, simply because he was so used to it, he was pretty sure by now they didn't even mind Niall knowing anymore. Not that he had ever asked. "Besides, Niall slept the whole time anyways."

"No, I didn't…just a bit." Niall protested shyly, he was rubbing his eyes with his knuckles as Liam threw a quick look over, almost forgetting to hit the break afterwards because the boy was so adorable in his too big jacket and all sleepy, obviously trying really hard to stay awake.

"It's okay if you did, Ni." Liam quickly threw in, not wanting him to feel embarrassed or whatever, his hand was twitching on the steering wheel before he decided to give himself a push, he didn't want things between them to get awkward, didn't want to start worrying about every single touch when he knew so well that Niall was more than okay with it. So he reached over slowly, not minding the other two in the backseat, placing his hand above Niall's knee, carefully, so the younger boy could move away if he didn't want him to. But he didn't even flinch as Liam rubbed his thumb over the fabric of his jeans. "You can go to sleep, you know, it's fine, I'll carry you upstairs when we're there." 

"No, I just, I… I'll just close my eyes a bit…'m not gonna sleep in…" Then, as slow as somehow possible, Niall started shoving his hand underneath Liam's, forcing Liam to hold back his laughter from relief, he smiled really dumbly to himself instead, letting his fingers sink into the spaces between Niall's.

It wasn't that long of a drive, thought it would've been shorter if Liam hadn't driven Harry and Louis home, but Niall had fallen asleep until then anyways, with his head against the window and his hand still in Liam's, even if he sometimes had to pull away, but he went right back to it again anyways, simply because he felt so good about knowing that this was what Niall wanted. "Alright, Li, thanks for driving us."

"No problem… thank _you_ actually. For… you know." For bringing Niall home and somehow managing to convince him to come because even though Liam had no idea really how all of that had even happened, he knew that Niall could be very stubborn about things like that.

"We're just really glad we found him, the rest wasn't very hard, it's not that he didn't want to come back or anything. He just… he just has an extremely hard time trusting anybody, as you probably know and he… well, he started talking about Sophia again and stuff so we told him that you know what she has done and you know what? He wasn't even happy about it, he was scared that you might be mad at _him_ , can you believe that?" Actually, Liam could, he wasn't looking at Louis while he talked, rather watching Niall's relaxed face absently, rubbing his thumb along the younger boy's, his heart aching with every bump, they really had to talk. "Well, I told him that you'd never be mad at him and that you're always gonna care about him but I'm not sure to what extend that has gotten through to him. Actually, I… I feel like he only agreed to this because he's been missing you so much that he just had a breakdown halfway through and started crying like crazy."

"I know… I know he doesn't believe me, or trust me even in some points, it's just… I don't know what to do, I'm so scared all the time he'll just take off and then he did and it was so horrible, I just… what if he does it again? What if I can never convince him that I want to have him staying with me?" They were keeping their voices very low, for Niall's sake, but the younger boy didn't even stir or anything, his palm was just warm and soft against Liam's, almost causing tears to sting in his eyes as he watched. 

"Look, he likes you so much, Liam, he's got no one else in the world but you and I'm pretty sure he's not gonna do this again anytime soon. But you gotta talk to him about… certain things, like his past and things like that, you gotta show him that you really and truly mean it and then I guess… all you can do is hope that he's gonna believe you. But one thing is for sure, he would never go because he doesn't like you or doesn't wanna stay with you anymore, he even said your name in his sleep on the train." This had Liam turning his head somehow automatically, halfway forgetting about what Louis had said about that he had to talk to Niall, he knew that he had to do that, but the thing about saying his name was new.

"Did he really?" For some reason, Harry and Louis exchanged a grin over this that had Liam blushing for asking so eagerly, it's just, the idea of it made him really happy, it was like a proof that Niall really did want to come back home. Well, his tears and clinginess had actually been enough to show Liam that he did, but for some reason, he couldn't get enough reassurance.

"If you make sure he stays asleep he might do it again, who knows." Then Harry winked before reaching out to pet Niall's hair before attempting to climb out of the car, still chuckling quietly. "Goodnight."

"Yeah, goodnight, don't stare at him too creepily, alright?" Before Liam could protest while his too red face gave him away, Louis pinched his cheek unexpectedly, laughing dumbly before Liam could swat his hand away. "And tell him I will come and tie him into your guest room if he ever runs away again."

"I won't t-"

"I was just kidding, Li. Try and sleep a bit, alright? You look exhausted." Probably because he was, but before Liam could answer, Louis had slipped out of the car as well, closing the door really softly for Niall before he and Harry disappeared around the corner, leaving Liam alone with a sleeping Niall.

For a few seconds, he just thought about the other boys' words again while watching the blonde boy curling up a bit, absently continuing to hold and stroke his hand. Now that he was by himself, Liam could fully take it in, embrace this moment for as long as it lasted, it seemed so unbelievable now to have Niall in his car, asleep and holding his hand after so many days of looking for him.

Truth be told, Liam had thought a few times that he'd go completely insane, it didn't help that Sophia was very talented in calling or texting him in the worst moments to get him mad as well, alongside his constant depression. He had never answered the phone or even acknowledged her texts though, right now, there was only one priority on Liam's mind and it was definitely not his girl(or maybe ex)friend who had completely fucked him over.

But those were all things Liam would deal with later on, in this moment, he just wanted to bring Niall home, tug him safely into bed, kiss his forehead and then just watch him sleep for hours on end, preferably without passing out himself. He had managed to spend five days with so little sleep, he could do it for one more night, if it was for Niall, Liam would try anything.

The younger boy moved a bit as Liam leaned over to kiss his cheek before starting the car again, having to let go of the boy's hand for a few minutes then because there was some traffic and as much as he hated not touching him, he wouldn't risk killing them over it. Besides, he could cuddle Niall for as long as he wanted to in just a few minutes anyways, which he would, no question, they had a lot to make for now, not only 5 days, more like 5 days and two weeks.

When they did get home though, Liam was facing a bit of a problem that he hadn't considered before, which was opening Niall's door while the boy was leaning against it and making sure he wouldn't wake up, or even worse, fall or get hurt or whatever else could've happened. But Liam was being gentle, as gentle as he couldn't have managed to be with anyone else but this boy, putting his arms around his neck, smiling stupidly as Niall automatically adjusted, holding on tighter and mumbling something into Liam's shoulder as he had his head right there. "Hmm… noo…I was jus'…"

None of it made any sense of course, but Liam's heart was melting either way as he readjusted Niall in his arms as he went for the elevator, having the boy's bag on his back. "Hey, shsh, you're just dreaming, Ni, it's okay."

Hoping that maybe it helped a bit, Liam leaned down to press a kiss to Niall's forehead before pushing the button in the elevator with his elbow, feeling quite lucky for it being so late now, he really had no idea how this might have looked like to other people. Not that he seriously cared though, his whole mind revolved around Niall right now anyways, he was so cute like this as Liam looked down, almost about to pepper his face with kisses but deciding to leave that for later. 

Locking up the door was a bit of a problem, not that Niall was so heavy that Liam couldn't have held him with one arm as well, but he was also trying not to move him unnecessarily much, not wanting to wake him under any circumstances, because he was starting to move now. Even though it was just to snuggle deeper into Liam and tighten his arms, mumbling a few more words and making a tiny noise, like a little puppy, and Liam could've died on the spot.

He kept himself together though, grinning dumbly to himself the whole time since no one was in here anyways, softly closing the door with his foot before going for his bedroom. The truth was, Liam would've brought Niall in there even without asking him first, after all, he knew that that was what Niall wanted and hell, he'd let the boy sleep in his bed every night from now on if that meant he wouldn't think about running away again. 

"Li…" It wasn't sleep talking this time, the procedure of putting Niall down on the bed had probably woken him because he moved, eyes half flattering open as Liam was busy removing the boy's shoes, immediately coming to sit on the edge of the bed afterwards.

"Sh, go back to sleep, I'm here, okay? You're so tired, Ni, close your eyes." Liam was stroking the boy's cheek with his fingers, hoping he'd sleep in again right away, but as he attempted to pull the blanket over him, Niall was shaking his head sleepily, trying to resist. "Whats wrong, babe?"

"I… can I go… shower first? Please?" His words were barely understandable, even less because he had to yawn in between, rubbing his eyes, so Liam let go of the blanket again, instead threading his fingers through the blonde hair, pretty sure Niall was almost purring at his touch.

"Of course you can if you want to, do you need any help?" Actually, Liam wasn't too keen on letting him do this by himself, Niall attempted to sit up now but hardly managed to even with Liam holding his arm, he seemed a little unsure about the question once sitting up straight with Liam rubbing his back. "I just meant, because of your bandaids, it's gonna burn if you get shampoo on there or shower gel."

Niall looked at him for a second before staring at his hands, then back at Liam, a questioning yet sleepy expression on his face. "Oh... yeah, I… but I… I really wanna shower, I feel… gross."

"You don't look gross though, but it's your choice. If you want to, I can help you." It wouldn't be a big deal and Liam would've actually preferred not having to leave him alone, he had moved his hand now from the boy's back to stroking the fringe out of his face in even motions, waiting for an answer.

"B-But… how?" Right, Niall was probably nervous about undressing in front of Liam, not that he had planned on making him strip completely. 

"I don't know, I can shower with you, we'll just wear bathing trunks." Which probably wouldn't help much because Niall had already blushed anyways, he was anxious about even changing his shirt in front of Liam though he had seen him without a few times anyways. Besides, Niall wasn't that extremely skinny anymore that it looked unhealthy, he still was, but it didn't pain Liam anymore to look at him anymore because his bones weren't half sticking out any longer. "We don't have to."

"I just, I… " While Niall hesitated, Liam carried on stroking his hair, trying to soothe him, show him that it was alright and that he wouldn't mind doing it, watching Niall twisting his fingers together nervously. "Um… o-okay, but… o-only if you d-don't mind…"

"Not at all, come on, babe, the sooner we're done the sooner you can go back to sleep, alright?" Pecking his forehead shortly, Liam got to his feet then, smiling as he held his hand out towards Niall to help him getting up as well. In a few minutes, Niall would probably be even more blushed than he already was as he took Liam's hand hesitantly, but he'd see that it was fine hopefully, that he didn't have to be shy around Liam, about anything. 

Still, of course, after Liam had given Niall the swimming trunks he had bought him a while ago, he went off to the bathroom to go change himself, throwing his clothes somewhere because he walked around shirtless all the freaking time anyways, Niall though had barely managed to remove his socks and put his trunks on, still with a shirt as well as he came into the bathroom, so the older boy pretended to be doing other stuff meanwhile, hoping that Niall would come around while he let the shower run warm for a bit. "You okay there, Ni?"

"Um…y-yeah…" Knowingly, Liam didn't turn around to check, giving Niall as much time as he wanted to to take his shirt off and come over, pretending to be really interest into the back of his shower gel. "Okay…"

When Niall finally came over, Liam did his best not to look at him, not that he desperately wanted to, but he also didn't wanna do it accidentally and make the boy feel insecure or feel as if Liam was being grossed out or something because that was exactly what Niall would think about. So instead, he just smiled softly at the younger boy, only looking at his face though. "Alright, just tell me if you, I don't know, wanna do it yourself, okay? And don't slip, please."

Maybe that was a bit too much concern, but Liam couldn't have helped it anyways even if he had wanted to, he still reached out for Niall's arm to support him a bit, just to be sure, the last thing they needed was a drive to hospital. "Thank you…"

"No problem, Ni. Alright, if your bandaids get wet then that's okay, we'll just change them afterwards, but tell me if it burns or hurts or anything, okay?" It probably would, but Niall nodded anyways, he was brightly flushed, down his chest too as Liam checked accidentally, quickly reaching out for the shower head then after closing the door, making sure to warn Niall before getting him wet.

Of course, this whole procedure included Liam having to touch and look at Niall, he didn't at first because he saw the boy trembling, washing himself first and then, because he had nothing to loose, tickling the younger boy unexpectedly to getting him to laugh before kissing his temple to break the tension a bit. it wasn't that bad after all, they were wearing trunks, just as if they would have went to the pool or something like that.

Niall seemed to come to that conclusion as well, still a bit tense when he let Liam wash his hair, which wasn't exactly a new thing anyways, but all the other stuff was, like Liam touching his bare back and chest had Niall glowing like a red light. It was kinda cute though, because he just trusted the older boy, not moving away or shivering, he was just clearly embarrassed about needing someone to help him, not because he hated Liam touching him so much. 

All in all, it went by better than Liam had thought it would, he kinda enjoyed doing this anyways, just like everything that involved taking care of Niall and being close to him, he also couldn't help but wrap the blonde boy up in a towel after they had stepped out of the shower, pulling it over his head too and laughing because Niall really did look like a baby like this. "This makes you look so adorable, Ni, come here, we gotta dry your hair."

"I can dry it…" Niall mumbled, pouting a little yet still coming over anyways so that Liam could start rubbing the towel over his head, laughing the whole time because hell, this was so cute. 

"I know, but I like doing it for you. How do your hands feel by the way, and your knees?" Though he had been trying to be extra careful, the bandaids had still gotten wet, Niall hadn't complained, he hadn't even flinched so hopefully it hadn't hurt too bad.

"They're good… it burns a little when I move them but it's okay." Liam was still busy drying the boy's hair, he let go now though, grinning and placing a kiss on the tip of his nose like he did so often, because let's be honest, who wouldn't wanna do that to Niall.

"Okay, we'll change them in a bit, you should get dressed first, so you won't catch a cold or anything. You need me to come?" Just to check, most of Niall's clothes were in the guest room just a few feet down the hall, Liam wouldn't have minded to come along, he was rubbing Niall's arms over the towel to keep him warm even if he was covered with it completely and Liam only had his around his hips because it wasn't even that cold.

"No, I… I can do it, thank you." Shyly, Niall returned the smile a little bit, he had stopped being so extremely nervous at least, even if Liam managed to make him turn redder than a tomato whenever he caught him staring. 

"Alright, come to my room afterwards, yeah?" Sometimes Niall tended to needing to be reminded, that Liam still wanted him to to sleep in his bed and so on, but he just nodded this time, and Liam pulled him closer for a second to kiss him below his ear, suddenly getting crazy ideas and blowing raspberries into his skin.

"Liam!" Niall barely pulled away though, his giggles filling Liam's stomach with warmth and causing him to join, Niall didn't even push him away, mostly because his arms were under the towel probably, but that still counted.

"Sorry, okay, go get dressed now, Ni, come on, no more wasting time." Pretending as if though it had been the younger boy's fault, Liam chuckled as he gave him a very gentle push towards the door, very surprised when Niall actually stuck his tongue out at him as he was already at the door, the playful mood he hadn't been in since so long finally back, making Liam happier than he thought he could have ever been after a day like this.

In fact, he was still smiling while changing into some boxers and sweatpants in his room, not having to wait for very long before a very cuddly looking Niall came back, messy, damp hair and Liam's too big shirt on that he always slept him, readjusting his sweatpants before simply crawling into Liam's bed. Good. "Where should I put the wet stuff?"

"Right, give it to me, I'll quickly put this into the washing machine and get some new bandaids for you, alright? I'll be right back." Taking the stuff from Niall and collecting his own, Liam couldn't help but tickle the boy a bit with his free hand, chuckling because Niall fell right onto his back, not really trying very hard to get Liam to stop, his laughter filling the room, something Liam had missed so dearly that it almost caused him to tear up. How had he ever lived without having Niall around? 

"Liii, stoop!" God he was so cute, Liam actually did still his tickles, but only because he wanted to stare at Niall for a second, who was still giggling while lying on his back, breath going a bit too heavy, holding onto Liam's fingers now to keep him from tickling him again. "That's not fair, I never see it coming!"

"That's the point, silly." It was Liam's time to laugh now, he poked the boy's tummy one more time before backing away slowly, grinning at Niall's pouty lips. "I'll be right back, maybe I won't tickle you anymore if you get under the blanket now and get ready to sleep."

The slightly strict voice had only been an act of course, to Liam's surprise though, Niall actually did move to untangle the blanket as he was about to go, apparently not even questioning Liam giving him orders like this, he was just smiling as their eyes met again, face still flushed. "Please hurry up, Li."

"I will, no worries." There was no way in hell Liam was gonna waste time that he could spend with this boy.

In the end though, he still took like 10 minutes, mostly because he realized he had forgotten to put something in the fridge and had to quickly get rid of it and then he also couldn't find the bandaids anymore because it had been a while since he had needed them. All of those tiny incidents led to Liam cutting himself off mid sentence as he got back to his room, surprised. "Sorry, I-…oh."

Immediately, a wide smile spread across Liam's face at the sight he had from the doorframe. Niall had fallen asleep already, only half his body covered with the blanket, his head pretty much at the edge of the bed as he was lying on his stomach, a hand tugged under his cheek. Fuck, Liam had never felt such an urge to go and cuddle somebody, like his heart felt as if it might explode with love for this boy any second, he did love him, truly, which might seem crazy and completely irrational but he just did, simple as that and his cheeks felt as if they might split apart from smiling so widely. 

Even though the urge to go over was nearly unbearable, Liam still went to turn out all the lights in the hallway and closing the door before finally coming over to the bed, climbing into the free space next to Niall before carefully reaching out for him. "Hey, baby… come on, you gotta… just turn onto your back a little bit…"

Of course, Niall couldn't hear him since he was asleep, Liam was more talking to himself as he attempted turning the boy around, gently pulling him closer towards him instead, more in the middle of the bed. When Niall immediately cooperated, Liam's heart was beating really hard on one hand as the younger one snuggled up right into him, on the other hand, this complicated the whole thing a little bit since he had to somehow throw the blanket back and change Niall's bandaids without waking him up.

Maybe it was Liam constantly pressing kisses somewhere into the boy's face and being extra gentle while pulling the bandaids off, but Niall stayed fast asleep, his face nuzzled into Liam's neck, breathing evenly against his bare skin and as soon as Liam was done and pulled the blanket up over them, Niall rolled over onto his side completely, so that their chests were pressed together from how close they were. 

Though this interfered with Liam's plan of staring at the boy the whole night long, he wouldn't have had it any other way, after all, he could still press his lips to the top of Niall's head, wrapping him up so tightly into his arms that there would've been no way for him to escape Liam's grip anyways, even if he had wanted to. 

Which didn't seem very likely since Niall was cuddling up to him in his sleep as well, the slow rise and fall of his chest plus his sometimes mumbling got Liam more tired than he had ever noticed himself being. It's just, the last few days had been extremely stressful, causing him to loose lots of sleep which suddenly seemed to all come crashing down at once.

So Liam made sure he had a tight grip on Niall, feeling his stomach flatter over how even their legs were tangled up as he buried his face in the blonde hair, breathing out slowly as he felt his eyes falling closed automatically. Niall was safe and he was in Liam's arms, that's all that mattered, it was fine if he got a little bit of sleep, Niall wasn't gonna go anywhere, Liam was suddenly certain of that. "Sleep tight, Ni, I love you so much, baby boy."

 

—————

 

As Niall opened his eyes slowly, yawning unexpectedly and stretching, trying to bury himself further into the body he was sure was lying next to him, he got a little bit disappointed at finding out that he was in fact alone in Liam's bed, almost panicking for just a second before he realized how dumb that would be. This was Liam's apartment, of course Liam would be in here somewhere, just not in bed where Niall wanted to have him desperately. 

Yesterday had been more than just nerve wrecking, first Louis and Harry showing up out of nowhere, then finding out that they fucking knew about Niall past, then the hour long train ride to finally see Liam again. And now, Niall knew that he couldn't enjoy just being back here too long before he would have to have a talk with Liam and though he wasn't too worried anymore about the older boy getting mad or disgusted with him, Niall was still very scared about opening up to him, it would make him completely vulnerable and exposed. But then again, Liam had even showered with him a few hours ago and he would have trusted that boy with his life, so did it really matter what else he knew? Niall was about to find that out.

Slipping out of bed was both hard since he was sleepy but also because he was immediately hit by coldness now that the warmth from under the blanket was gone. But Niall didn't jump back under the covers immediately like he wanted to a little bit, instead he went for the door, more than just happy about being back, being without Liam had been the most horrible thing in the world, Niall never wanted to leave him or lose him ever again, even if that meant he had to give up all of his secrets. Which they weren't anymore actually, because Harry and Louis already knew them. 

No one was in the bathroom, but there were noises coming out of the kitchen so Niall went there, barely noticing his knees hurting anymore now, but he had seen that Liam must've changed the bandaids after he had fallen asleep because they looked different. He truly was the kindest and most caring person in this whole entire world, wasn't he?

"Good morning, sleepy head." Liam was grinning as soon as he saw Niall, without a shirt on and obviously having forgotten to shave for a few days, it got Niall's legs wobbly to take his appearance in as he just walked over, deciding not to be shy or make things awkward now just because of what had happened and simply wrapping his arms around Liam's middle as he had turned towards him anyways, a fork in one of his hands. "Hey, baby. Everything alright?"

More than that, Niall hummed approvingly at the tight arm around him and the kiss on the top of his head, burying his face against Liam's chest into the hair there, breathing in his familiar scent and feeling the butterflies in his tummy going crazy. This was his favorite place in the world, right in Liam's arms and pressing against him while being called things like 'baby'. "Yeah, I'm good. And you?"

"Me too, Ni." His chest vibrated as he chuckled, Niall turned his head so that his cheek and ear were right above Liam's heart, not loosening his grip as he watched Liam only having one arm now to try and turn the pancakes around, tightly holding onto Niall with the other. "I hope you're hungry, I think I made a bit too much because I woke up like an hour ago and I didn't wanna wake you up because you look so cute when you're asleep."

Flushing just a tiny bit, Niall didn't panic anymore like he would have, he was somewhat used to Liam saying things like that now, besides he was just so happy overall that he was here again and that everything was just how it used to be before the thing with Sophia had happened. "I'm always hungry anyways… and I missed your pancakes."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that." It was completely true as well, even though Liam laughed softly, squeezing Niall a bit before placing yet another kiss somewhere into his messy hair before slowly letting his arm slip a bit. "I just gotta put this on the plate, alright?"

Knowing that he couldn't cling to him forever, Niall just nodded before stepping away, contemplating it for a second before moving to get the things they needed for breakfast for which Liam flashed him a smile. It was so nice, to know where everything was and being allowed to go ahead and get them so Liam wouldn't have to do everything by himself. Besides, Niall liked this, liked the fact that they were doing things together, he didn't even care if it was something as plain and simple as setting up a table, he just liked everything with Liam and that's what had been missing the most. Not the warm bed or the food or the shower, simply Liam, if he was there, Niall would literally take anything on him, he'd even go back to living on the streets in a heartbeat if that would be the only chance to be with the older boy, as crazy as it sounded, but he was way too attached as to change anything about that. Not that he would have even wanted to. 

As they sat down at the table, Niall made sure he was in his usual seat with Liam right around the edge of the table, the closest chair possible to Niall. Perfect. "Liam… can I ask you something?"

"Sure, babe, anything." Somehow Niall was a bit shy to ask this, but on the other hand, they'd be talking about way worse stuff soon so he might as well just get over himself.

Still, Niall spoke to the pancakes on his plate drenched in maple syrup after taking a tiny breath, he was really trying hard to overcome his shyness, at least around Liam, he couldn't promise anything around strangers. "Um… you know, Louis and Harry said that… that you were looking for me and that you… showed pictures of me and… what pictures?"

This had had Niall thinking for quite a long time, even if it was nothing compared to everything else Liam's two bandmates had talked with him about. But there was no immediate answer, actually, Niall decided to check as Liam didn't say anything, confused to see the older boy clearly holding back a laugh as he reached into the pockets of his sweatpants, suddenly pulling his phone out. "This one."

Niall had no idea what this was about as Liam turned the screen of his phone towards him just so that his heart almost stopped at what he was looking at. Why would Liam wanna have a picture of him as his background?! He hadn't even noticed this picture being taken, probably because he looked pretty sleepy. "Oh. I… I didn't know you took that."

"I know, but you looked so cute, I couldn't resist." Liam chuckled before putting the phone down, smirking at Niall, probably because of his slightly flushed face as he let that sink in, Liam had a picture of him as his background. "I got a few more though, from when you were asleep, but no one has seen them, I promise, they're just for me."

Oh god, did Liam really think Niall was cute enough to take pictures of him, while he was _asleep_?! "I… why is it your background?"

"Do you mind?" Suddenly, Liam's expression changed from happy to a little bit unsure and Niall almost choked on his words from trying to get them out so fast, hell, he would hate himself for being the reason Liam changed the picture to something else!

"No! I-I mean… no, I don't. I was just… wondering." Seeing Liam relax noticeably helped Niall do the same, but he quickly took the fork anyways to take a few bites, to maybe prevent his face from getting too extremely flushed. 

"Because one, you're cute as hell in that picture, two, it makes me happy to see your face whenever I get my phone and three because who else would I put there, you mean the whole world to me." He just said it like that, shrugging afterwards as if it was obvious and Niall just stared, his mouth had almost popped open at this, he couldn't believe Liam was saying this, making it sound so random. Was it true though? Did he really mean so much to Liam?

"I… t-thank you…" That's literally all Niall could bring out, making Liam grin before suddenly leaning over to kiss his temple gently, his hand rubbing Niall's back shortly, making him feel as if he had to say something else as well. "You, um… you mean a lot to me too and… and you always did, I… I'm sorry if you thought I didn't, because, um… b-because of me running away, but I really d-do…"

"Thanks, Ni, you don't have to be sorry about anything at all, and you also don't have to be nervous about this, alright? It's just me. Let's just eat and then maybe we can talk later." Right, their talk was something Niall would've liked to postpone into the year 3000 but he nodded anyways, not being able to resist when Liam was looking at him like that, so fondly and caring, making Niall feel loved like no one else could have ever managed to.

The thing with Liam was though, as embarrassed and blushed as Niall was after this, he managed to bring the topic back to something completely normal without any effort, already having Niall laughing just five minutes later, still with the thought of what they were gonna talk about in a bit in the back of his head, but for now, he just enjoyed sitting here having breakfast with his most favorite person alive.

When they were done eating, Liam didn't let Niall help cleaning up, in fact, he even stopped him by stepping up behind him and tickling his sides, laughing along with Niall before tightly wrapping his arms around the younger boy's stomach to keep him from leaving, pressing a kiss on his neck beneath his ear. It gave Niall ten million goosebumps, just like last night, when Liam had been blowing raspberries into his skin and Niall should've felt too old for something like this but he loved this kind of affection Liam gave him, it seemed so simple. "I'll clean this up, you go brush your teeth, you didn't do it last night and I'm not gonna let you skip, off you go, babes."

There was a chuckle and a very gentle push towards the bathroom and just because it was Liam, Niall walked off then without any complainant or even questing whether he should really do it or not, the older boy was right after all, brushing your teeth was important.

When Niall was done, he looked into the mirror for a second, something he didn't do very often because he wasn't so keen on seeing himself, but he didn't look too abnormal, he had also noticed that his clothes weren't that extremely loose anymore since he had started staying with Liam, maybe one day Niall would actually feel like a normal human being again. He did look like it somehow from the outside, if you didn't know him, yet still, inside he always felt a little different because of what had happened, and he knew that was kinda stupid but he couldn't help it. The only time when he forgot about things like that was when Liam captured his whole attention by cuddling him or holding his hand and making him laugh harder than he probably had in two years.

Niall didn't change his clothes, mostly because he had missed wearing Liam's shirt too much but also because it was really comfortable and he didn't think they'd go anywhere today anyways, so he went back to the main area exactly the way he had left. Which turned out to be a very good idea because Liam hadn't changed either, but he had moved to half lie on the couch now, putting his phone down as he saw Niall and causing his heart to almost jump out by grinning and opening his arms. "C'mere, I'm cold."

"Because you never wear a shirt." Not that Niall wanted him to, he liked looking at Liam and cuddling with him like this, even if he would never say it out loud, but it was probably obvious enough as he almost fell over his own feet walking over, not hesitating before climbing onto the couch and moving up to half rest on top of Liam, letting out a happy sigh.

"Well, you've never complained about that." True, Niall blushed a bit as Liam chuckled right under him, one arm wrapped around Niall's waist to hold him close, the other stroking his hair and then down his back a little, drawing patterns with his fingers that had Niall snuggling deeper into the crook of his neck, almost letting his eyes fall closed. "Hey, Ni… can I say something?"

"Sure…" It was bound to happen at some point, better now before Niall would die of anxiety, plus he was really comfortable right now snuggled into Liam, feeling his warm skin under his cheek as he reached up with one hand to hold onto the boy's upper arm, making sure it stayed right where it was holding him close.

Liam breathed out slowly at this, waiting for a second before speaking up, his flat palm rubbing circles between Niall's shoulder blades. "Last night when you fell asleep in the car… Louis and Harry told me that they already told you about what happened with Sophia, but I… I just wanted to tell you myself again. And I wanted to apologize, for not seeing what she was trying to do and that I hardly had any time for you, I just… I really thought you and her got along, I'm so sorry, Ni. It was just… I wanted it to be this way really desperately, I wanted everything to work out, you know, without hurting anybody, and I was so caught up with that idea that I didn't notice how things were going into a complete different direction. And if something like this ever happens again, like a situation where you don't wanna say anything because you think I'll be mad, please come to me so we can talk. I would've never been mad at you because of something like this, babe, never, I just want you to be alright, okay? We can talk about anything in the world, I will always try and help you. And I'm gonna make up for this, I promise, you're my only number one priority now and we can spend so much time alone that you'll get sick of me."

There were a few tears filling up Niall's eyes that he blinked back, smiling to himself for a second as he stayed silent, he was so lucky to have Liam, that boy always knew the right things to say, didn't he? "I won't ever get sick of you, Liam, that's impossible."

"Oh, I wouldn't count on that if I were you, I can be very clingy and annoying." As if to proof it, Liam laughed, before suddenly fully lying down, causing Niall to gasp as he ended up half on top of Liam and half between him and the back of the couch, one of his legs in between the older boy's that he didn't fell like moving away. 

"That's not annoying and I'm quite clingy too, we match." Not really because Niall was literally the definition of annoying, but Liam laughed softly anyways, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before running his fingers through Niall's hair, gently thumbing at his ear just as Niall swallowed, a little scared to say something else. "But Liam…"

"Hmm?" God, his breath hitting Niall's scalp whenever Liam breathed out was going to kill him one day, it's not as if he had enough goose bumps and butterflies in his stomach already.

"Um… what about Sophia, though? I… I know you had a fight and I… I just, I'm sorry if it was because of me and I-"

"Hey, shh, that wasn't because of you at all, alright? Don't you think that, Niall, because it's not true. I already told you before that we had troubles, we have had those for months now and what happened was her fault and not yours, she brought it on by herself. I still can't believe she would actually do something like this but she has and she even admitted it, so I told her I wanna have a break and think about this, but… as things are now I'm pretty positive that I'm gonna end this." He sounded very calm while saying this but he still caused Niall to swallow hard, burying himself deeper into the crook of Liam's neck, not wanting to look up under any circumstances, his voice only a breath as he whispered the next question.

"But… don't you love her?" Because that was what Niall's inner conflict was about, that he had destroyed Liam's love life, he knew that they had been fighting before Niall had even known Liam, but still. 

"I… " Then Liam just stopped talking, Niall almost lifted his head to check if it hadn't been for Liam's fingers brushing his bare neck as he left out a slight sigh, hesitating for a second. "She changed a lot and I… I would've never expected this of her. I'm not sure if I can love someone who would fuck me over without a second thought. I know she was jealous but… this is not the first time I'm thinking of ending this, it's complicated having a relationship with a lifestyle like mine. But that's nothing for you to worry about anyways, Ni, it won't effect you anymore, I promise, and you can hold me to that, I'll do anything now until you believe me that I really do want to have you here with me." 

It made Niall feel bad, to think about that Liam knew that he was constantly having doubts, it's just… how could he have not had them? He really needed to tell Liam, maybe make him understand a little more that this was nothing personal, Niall's trust issues hadn't come out of nowhere at all. The only problem was, how to start a conversation like this? "Liam, I… thank you for… you know, for wanting to try so hard and I really do wanna believe you, but sometimes… sometimes it's really hard because I'm so scared and I… I don't wanna end up by myself again. And in the beginning I was trying so hard not to get attached to you because of that but now… now it'd kill me to lose you…"

"You're not going to lose me, Niall, never, I promise, I know that you need me and I need you too, I like taking care of you way too much as to let you go, hell, I didn't even sleep the last five days because I was so worried and I would've searched forever until I found you again." This was what was so unbelievable to Niall, because even when his life had been normal, he had never had a person like Liam in his life, someone who seemed to love him so unconditionally and made sure to show him every day, maybe not even his parents. "Look, babe, I… I don't know what happened in your past, you don't have to tell me, but whatever it is, I won't let it happen again, you're not alone and you won't be anymore. I'll make sure of that and if it's the last thing I do."

See? Niall really, really had to tell him, for the fact alone that Liam still wasn't pushing him but being patient, even if he had every right to know about it, he had helped Niall in every way possible, he had saved his damn life. It was time Niall repaid him in the only way that he could think of, by telling him the truth. Having it so final that he would have to talk about it now after two years almost caused Niall to tremble, but he breathed evenly, forced himself to stay calm, brushing his lips over Liam's throat as he cuddled deeper into him, closing his eyes as the older's arm tightened, his fingers back at Niall's ear now. "Do you… do you want me to tell you? About my, um… past I mean."

There was some silence, Liam kept the stroking up though, his voice sounding a lot softer and quieter afterwards. "If you want to tell me, Ni, then of course I'm gonna listen, but you don't have to, I just want you to do what you feel comfortable with."

"No, I… I wanna tell you, I've been meaning to tell you for a while, but… I get nervous and then I never do it, b-but… I think I can do it n-now…" Hopefully, because otherwise it'd be embarrassing, but he had to speak about it at some point, right? Besides, maybe Louis and Harry were right, maybe it really would be better to tell Liam, get it off of his chest, not having to worry about what the other boy's reaction might be. 

"It's okay, Niall, whenever you're ready, just take your time, babe, whatever it is, it's over now and I'm always gonna want you with me no matter what happens, alright? I'm here." Niall could only hope that this was true, but Louis and Harry knew as well, not the details but the overall story and they didn't hate him either, Liam wouldn't start hating Niall because of something in his past, right? He really cared about Niall and the younger boy finally had to get it into his head.

Still, Niall really did take his time then, enjoying the tingles he got from Liam's soft touches, and just the way it felt to be half lying on top of him, their bodies pressed together like this in a way that Niall had never been with anyone else before. It was all so new yet still familiar by now somehow and if there was one thing he knew, it was that he never wanted this to stop. Liam was literally his everything and Niall loved him so abnormally that he sometimes got worried whether this was even normal anymore, but what could he have done? He wouldn't have wanted to feel any different even if he had had the chance. 

So at some point, Niall just gave himself a push, but closing his eyes as he spoke up, his skin burning in a good way wherever Liam touched him. "I… I'm gonna make it as short as possible, okay, because I… I don't like talking about it so much and I never had to explain the whole thing to anyone before, so I'm not…not quite sure where to start but I'll just start somewhere, okay?"

God, Niall sounded dumb already, but Liam just agreed quietly, so he took it as in that it was alright, that Liam was fine with whatever he said or did because he was just that perfect and kind.

"Okay, um… well, you already know where I come from. It's not that big of a town, so… everyone pretty much knows everyone, I mean, not _everyone_ , but pretty much yeah, sorry, I'm rambling. Well, you know, I… I was a really loud kid, I was always involved when there was any trouble in school and things like that, I mean… it's not that I was being mean to anyone or trying to hurt anyone on purpose, I was just… enjoying life, I guess. So my parents weren't really too happy about that, I guess, that I was so lively and always got in trouble, I also didn't really get along with my older brother Greg, and then when I got older, I fought a lot with him, and with my parents as well, because I always stayed out too late and… I don't know, I just didn't like having rules and being told what to do, though I was pretty young for that, but yeah, I… I liked doing things by myself and being responsible for stuff, I had to be as well, because my parents were mostly gone and then I was by myself. We weren't a particular… perfect family, far from it actually.

"Well, about two years ago, a little longer, I… it was a school night, you know and my mum… she told me that I can't be home too late and she kissed my forehead and called me my nickname and I… well I hated it when she babied me so much, so dumb as I was… I decided I'd come home extra late just to piss them off. I was at my best friend's house for hours before I decided to go home, in the middle of the night, it was like, one am or something. Well… when I got home, I… I think I forgot to lock the door, but I'm not sure anymore whether I really did or not, it's just… well anyways, I went into my room, which was upstairs, everyone's bedroom was upstairs and they were all asleep.

"Half an hour or so later, I… I heard footsteps on the stairs, first I thought it was someone from my family, but… no one had been downstairs before and I would've heard if someone had woken up and walked around. I don't know how I managed to do it, but I somehow went to lock my bedroom door and turn my lights off, I… I was so scared you know? I thought I was gonna die, but I just stood there frozen and the footsteps came closer before they disappeared again, I waited, for a few minutes, almost thinking that I was just really paranoid, but then…" That's where Niall broke off, because his breath was going really fast and he was tearing up, almost as if he was there again in his room, he had to open his eyes now, to reassure himself that he wasn't, very thankful for Liam's even strokes showing him that he was somewhere completely else. 

"You're safe, Ni…" Liam mumbled, making him feel a bit better as he cuddled further into the boy, or tried to because they were as close as possible already.

"I-I know, I just… well, anyway… so I waited, and then suddenly… there were screams. From next door, my parents' bedroom and I… I should've done something, you know, it was so obvious what was happening but I… I couldn't move and I just stood there and listened, I… I d-didn't e-even t-try…" Right, this was the moment Niall's tears spilled over, he felt so guilty still, for everything that had happened, but despite his throat being so tight that he could barely breathe, he forced himself to go on and finish this, fingers digging into Liam's arm now, his words sounding more like chokes. "M-My brother… he d-did try to h-help apparently, b-but… there were two men, who… who broke into o-our h-house a-and… m-maybe it was m-my fault b-because I-I d-didn't l-lock the d-door, b-but… I-I c-cant remember. I d-don't know what h-happened exactly… t-there w-was s-screaming and lots o-of noises and I… I could've c-called the police b-but I stood t-there l-literally forever. And t-there w-was a… a g-gunshot t-too. E-Everything w-was silent after t-that, b-but then… I-I heard unfamiliar voices screaming something a-and… I t-think the t-two m-men r-ran downstairs a-and left, b-but I… I still didn't do anything, I just w-waited. 

"Y-You know, I… I k-knew s-somehow… s-so a-after a-an hour… I-I f-finally called my b-best friend and h-he woke his mum and… and they called the p-police, and I… I never s-saw them, I n-never went to c-check on my f-family, because I-I w-was so scared a-and… and it w-was so o-obvious… t-that they w-were dead. I couldn't e-even c-cry, I just w-waited for e-everything to be over a-and f-for the p-police to c-come and e-everything i-is j-just a blur f-from there on… like t-the whole n-neighborhood woke up and… I was j-just standing there i-in f-front of o-our house while t-this policeman t-tried to ask me t-things, b-but… a-all I c-could stare a-at was t-the ambulance a-and h-how t-they… how they carried o-out t-three b-bodies in b-black b-bags…." 

No one said a word after this, Niall couldn't believe that he had just said all of this, he sniffed rather loudly, his guilt feeling as if it might choke him any second as he moved his hand to wipe at his eyes. Liam's hand had stilled now, but it was tangled in Niall's hair and his grip around the younger boy hadn't loosened in any way, but Niall felt Liam's heartbeat, it was faster now, but not as fast as his own so he tried to match his, trying to calm down to finish the story without shaking so much.

"The two men, they… they killed my family. The police caught them, like… a few days later and they said that… that they didn't plan on hurting anybody they just wanted to rob us and my mum, she… she woke up and started screaming and then my dad tried to, um… stop them apparently but they pushed my mum and her head hit the cupboard and… she died immediately. Then my brother woke up and came over and… by that time one of them was fighting with my dad and killed him as well, with a knife, well and… they shot my brother. Even if they said they didn't plan on doing it, I mean, it doesn't matter anyway, right, their intentions I mean… they got scared and ran away afterwards and now they're in jail, that's all.

"I stayed at my best friend's house for a while, I was… quiet for a few days, I couldn't cry because I couldn't believe what had happened, they even sent me to a therapist but I don't think I ever really talked to her. Well, anyways… after it sunk in I cried every day and then a few more days later, I was listening to this conversation my best friend's parents had at night, about how… about how they wanted to get rid of me. I had no family left, not even grandparents or anything… I was all on my own and they still wanted to get rid of me. 

"It's when I realized that… that people blamed me, because I didn't do anything, even if the police later said that even if I would've gone over immediately afterwards or called them sooner, my family would've died anyways, they were all dead immediately. But no one seemed to care abut that and I… I still feel guilty as well, also for not knowing whether I locked the front door or not. I knew I was a bother to my best friend and his family, but I didn't wanna end up in a foster home, you know how… how I said I didn't like rules, how I had learned to do things on my own? Well, I somehow thought it was smart to run away instead, live on my own, I thought I could make it.

"They shipped me off to England, that's how far they wanted to have me away from them, I was supposed to be picked up by some social worker, you know, they sent me on the plane alone because I was old enough. Well, I had this connecting flight in London and I… I never got on the second plane, I just had the things in my backpack and the clothes I was wearing because I couldn't get my suitcase and I just left and at first… I thought it had been the smartest thing I had ever done. I don't know if they looked for me, if anyone even noticed, I guess no one really cares that much about an orphan, a kid no one would be missing and just take up space and time. I did try to stay unnoticed for like a week or two, but… I don't think anyone ever actually looked for me. And well, that's how it happened." And right now, Niall wasn't sure if running away had really been the dumbest idea he had ever had because it had brought him to Liam after all, if he would've gone to a foster home, who knows where he would've ended up.

Liam didn't say anything though, he stayed quiet, slightly playing with the hair behind Niall's ear, his breath going even, but he didn't comment the story and Niall got so scared to a point where he actually did lift his head to look at the older boy, feeling his hand slip to the back of Niall's neck in the process. He was crying.

"Liam, why… why are you crying, no, please don't, I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry, I-"

"Ni, shsh, it's okay, I just… " He let out a breathless laugh, not a happy one though, causing Niall to feel even guiltier as Liam moved his hand to wipe his cheeks quickly before reaching out to stroke Niall's, brushing the fringe out of his forehead. "Niall, I… I don't even know what to say, I just… I'm so thankful that you trusted me, babe, I just… I can't believe that you had to experience something like this and it makes me feel so terrible because I… I wasn't aware that it was this bad I just… god, I can't imagine what would've happened if I hadn't found you."

His reaction was 1 billion times nicer than Niall had ever thought it would be, he almost cried from relief, for finally having it out, finally, there were no secrets to keep from Liam anymore and plus that, the older boy wasn't even mad at him or even close to throwing him out, he just lovingly stroked Niall's face and hair, shaking his head meanwhile, as if he couldn't believe it, eyes still teary. "It's okay, Li, I… I do trust you, you know, it's just… a lot of people fucked me over in those two years and.. it wasn't anything really serious, but I… it was the most horrible time of my life and I'm just so scared about having to go back to it and… and losing you, because I already lost everyone that meant something to me…I mean I lost my family obviously, but I … I also lost everything else too, my friends, my whole life, everything and… I get it somehow, you know, that they wanted to have me so far away, I know I should've tried to help or go over and-"

"Niall, hey, look at me now." Because Niall's eyes had trailed off while rambling, but as Liam suddenly cupped his face with both hands, stroking his thumb across Niall's cheekbone, he did look into the older boy's soft yet firm brown eyes again as he spoke. "None of this is your fault, okay? NONE of it, Niall. You would be dead, if you had gone over, you couldn't have helped them, they would've killed you and if you would've called the police sooner then… then all of this would've still happened, they even told you that, Niall, there was nothing you could've done instead of staying hidden, which you have and I'm so thankful for that because I would've never had the chance to meet you otherwise, babe. It's not your fault, there's no reason at all to feel guilty, because you didn't do anything wrong, and whether you locked the front door or not, they planned to rob your house, they would have done it either way, Ni, none of this happened because of you, alright? You're not a bad person or the one to blame, you're wonderful and I'm so glad I got you. And you're not gonna go back to live on your own because I won't let you, I care about you and I'm gonna be taking care of you, I love you so much, Niall, I really do, I only know you since such a short time but you're already the most important thing to me."

Shit, now Niall's tears did spill over, he was so, so thankful that he had Liam, hell, he always managed to make him feel 100% better, but what was stuck in Niall's head the longest was the 'I love you', he couldn't believe Liam had actually said this, sounding so genuine, Niall did love Liam, but he hadn't ever thought the boy would tell him something like this as well, how could he love Niall after all? How could anyone love _Niall_? "I-I… I l-love you t-too… a-and… t-thanks for not… for not judging me o-or b-being m-mad."

The other boy's eyes went wide at this, even if Niall had truly meant it, Liam seemed to be genuinely shocked as well. "Ni, why would I ever be mad or judge you?! Because of something like this, that's ridiculous, babe, I could never even be mad at you for something completely different, but this… no, don't you ever think that again, alright? Never. I would never judge you, and whatever it is, I'm always gonna be there for you and try to help you however I can, that's a promise." 

"Thank you…" Maybe Niall would really be able to believe Liam, like FULLY believe and trust him, he was trying so hard to, especially after everything that had happened, Liam had really proven to him that Niall did mean something to him, that he really did like him and fact was, Niall knew that he'd never run away again.

So he snuggled his head back down into the crook of Liam's neck, feeling content as the older boy placed his hand over the side of his head and ear, his arm curling around Niall's waist again like before. Finally, he could enjoy it again without this nagging feeling inside of him that told him that they still had to have a talk. "Don't thank me, baby I told you so many times already and I'm gonna tell you a hundred times more if that's what it takes to convince you."

Niall almost chuckled at this from relief, but he didn't do it then, just stayed snuggled against Liam, about to letting his fall closed now that all the serious talk was done, he actually still felt a little bit exhausted and tired, plus Liam's warmth and gentle touches only seemed to increase that. 

For a few minutes, they didn't talk, and Niall would've fallen asleep as Liam started playing with the hair behind his hair in even motions, there was no sound except for their breathing, sometimes a far away noise from outside because of the tilted window but nothing else really, which was why Niall flinched a tiny bit as Liam suddenly spoke up again. "Ni, I… oh, sorry, I didn't wanna scare you, babe."

"It's okay." Niall mumbled against the other's neck, breathing in and stretching a tiny little bit, they had stayed in this position for quite a long time. "What'd you wanna say?"

"Well, I wanted to ask you something actually, I just… and please don't get mad, but I just wanted to ask you, um… whether you know… which foster home they would've taken you to." Well, that question somehow came out of nowhere, but Niall shrugged it off after a second before simply answering without thinking it through.

"Yeah, I do… somewhere in Norwich. Why?" It was weird that Liam had asked and Niall slowly lifted his head, rubbing at his eye a bit with his knuckles, meeting Liam's small smile that he tried to return, a little too sleepy and confused for it though.

"Because…" Liam clearly hesitated, looking away for a second before sighing, obviously not wanting to say something that had Niall getting nervous before he had even heard it. "You know… if they… if they actually sent someone to look for you, if they… called the police and such, then… then I can't take you with me on tour, you're underaged, well, unless of course… if we went there and I'd made sure you could stay with me like… legally and all."

Literally nothing could've prepared Niall for that, he had his head snapping up in less than a second, already halfway through, worried at first that Liam would be telling him he wanted to leave him here all by himself, but THIS, this was even more shocking than anything else they had ever talked about. "You… you would really…"

"Yeah, I would, Niall, I told you I'm serious about all of this and I'll proof it with this. So would you go there, with me? And we'll sort this out and it'll be done in no time and we'll never have to worry about it again, I promise." He was stroking Niall's cheek again, with the back of his fingers, still smiling the tiniest bit while Niall's heart started bumping faster as he tried to quickly think this through. Liam was right though, what if they had record of him there, what if someone would call the police or anything, he knew they had to go there at some point probably, why couldn't he already be eighteen for god's sake?!

"I… I guess we can… if you come with me…." And also left with Niall again because he suddenly got slightly scared, trying to suppress it so he wouldn't hurt the older boy's feelings as Liam's smile got a bit bigger, pulling Niall down slowly until he could kiss his forehead gently, calming him a little bit.

"I'd go anywhere with you, Niall."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my least favorite chapter in this story and I do wanna apologize in case you guys agree with me, it's sort of a filler chapter and I felt like it was necessary to write in order to keep the plot as realistic as possible. Also, the reason why it's kinda lacking a bit is because I was really busy and I hope at least the ending makes up for the other stuff.

"You knew the whole time? And you didn't say anything?" Liam still couldn't believe what he had just heard, he was just blankly staring from Harry to Louis, who exchanged a look, Niall moving a little bit next to him, which Liam could feel pretty well because he had the boy's legs over his lap and his body pressed into his side but he didn't look down, simply because he was too surprised. 

Two days had passed ever since Niall had told him about his past, but Liam still hadn't gotten over it, he couldn't even imagine how Niall must've felt, or how hard it must've been, all alone, on the streets, after having your parents and brother killed in the room next to you. Fuck, was Liam glad that Niall hadn't gone over to check for them, he knew the boy felt guilty for not doing it, but the sight he would've had otherwise… unimaginable. 

Things had gotten normal between them again, well, maybe they were even touchier with each other now, Liam didn't hold back anymore and Niall seemed to enjoy the hell out of it anyways, his shyness around Liam had almost completely vanished by now. Actually, it was quite funny to be thinking about how Niall had told him how he hadn't liked rules as a kid, how he hadn't even wanted his mother to give him a hug or kiss his forehead, but now that Liam was doing it, he seemed to enjoy it. And knowing the reason for that made the older boy really sad, he knew why Niall suddenly seemed to enjoy the treatment he got, because he had been way, WAY to young to be on his own for so long, and he had been lacking someone taking care of him, had maybe even missed it.

Also, Liam still noticed how nervous Niall was about this whole foster home thing, they'd go there in a bit, well, they had wanted to, but Louis and Harry had shown up uninvited half an hour ago, casually making smalltalk before Niall had accidentally spilled the beans and told them where they were about to go.

Truth be told, Liam almost panicked for a second, but all that had happened had been Niall blushing deeply and Harry saying something like 'Oh, so you told him?' and it had turned out that Louis was sneaky as fuck and had tried getting the whole information from Niall's passport out of Liam just so he could go to fucking google.

"Not the whole time, Liam, only for five days longer than you. Why's it such a big deal anyways, we would've told you but we thought maybe Niall wanted to do it himself." Well that made sense it's just… that wasn't even what Liam was upset about.

"I'm glad you didn't tell me, just… why did you do it anyways?" It was no one's but Niall's business, even if the younger boy had already told him that he didn't mind anymore now that Liam knew as well, but still.

"Look, I just wanted to check, to see if there's a reason for everything, and if it's maybe another factor why Niall ran away. And anyways, I think us already knowing about it made it easier for him to tell you as well." Now Liam did look down to check Niall's face at what Harry had said, but the younger boy just met his eyes shortly blushing a tiny bit like he always did before resting his head back on Liam's shoulder, turning more towards him. He wasn't feeling good today, because of what they were about to do and Liam felt really bad for him, he had even made Niall tons of things for breakfast to choose from and had let him sleep in, but it didn't seem to help so much, all Niall really seemed to want to do was cuddle with Liam. Something he could live with, but he was still feeling bad for the boy, and he also felt a little bit sick himself, not quite knowing what to expect, like, he had wanted to call that place but had backed out in the end, somehow not even wanting to know whether they really did have Niall's name down there somewhere.

"A bit…" Niall mumbled after a while, being numbed by Liam's shirt though, the older boy immediately tightened his arm that he was keeping Niall close with, wrapping the other one around him as well before placing a kiss on the top of his head. Literally, there was nothing Liam could've cared about less anymore than anyone watching them cuddling.

"See, Liam? You don't need to act like a protective mother hen or whatever is going on with you." It probably was a joke but Liam just glared at his bandmate, happy when Niall pressed tighter into his side, he really did not want to go there at all, it couldn't have been more obvious, but they kinda had no choice.

"I'm not acting like that, I was just wondering why-"

"Yeah, whatever. So when are we gonna go there and tell them that Niall is ours now?" For a moment, Liam almost bursted out laughing at this whole sentence, but then he thought about it while studying Harry's face before realizing that he hadn't even been joking, he had just truly meant this just like that. 

"Excuse me, Niall is not _ours_ , he's just mine if anyone's." Liam hadn't meant to be this extremely possessive, it just slipped out somehow, causing Niall to giggle and bumping his nose against Liam's neck softly, making him tighten his arms immediately. Maybe he should say stuff like this more often from now on, if that was the reaction he got. "And since when are you guys coming along anyways?"

"Since now, someone's gotta kick their ass if they try anything, you're always way too nice to people, Liam." On one hand, Liam was relieved that they obviously liked Niall so incredibly much already, on the other hand, he really wished Louis wouldn't have said anything because Niall suddenly sat up a little straighter, eyeing the other two boys.

"What do you mean… try anything?" And then, before anyone could even begin to think of an answer, Niall was staring at Liam with wide eyes, his fingers twisting into the older boy's shirt. "You think they're not gonna let me leave with you again?! What if they try and keep me there, what if-"

"Niall, hey, shhh, it's fine, that's not gonna happen, alright? I promise, I'm not gonna leave there without you, none of us will, and why would they do that anyways, you're not a kid anymore, maybe they don't even know who you are, whatever happens, tonight we'll be back here, okay? I promise, Ni." Liam tried his best to be convincing, cupping Niall's face as he looked into his panicked eyes, trying to not let his own nervousness come through, he had to be the one who kept calm here, the one who had control and made Niall feel safe. 

"I'll just buy the whole place if they try to keep you there, no worries." Harry announced before stretching, sharing a grin with his boyfriend that Liam only watched while shaking his head slowly before looking back at a still slightly panicked Niall, kissing his nose softly.

"It'll be fine, baby, I… I mean _we_ , are gonna be there, okay? It's all good." Instead of answering, Niall just nodded a bit before sniffing rather loudly, staring into Liam's eyes, who was still cupping his cheeks, before all of a sudden moving a bit to wrap both of his arms around the older's neck, face pressed into his shoulder. "Niall, no one's gonna take you away from me, I swear to god, I'm not gonna let that happen."

"O-Okay…" Didn't sound very convinced, so Liam sighed before hugging back tighter even though the way they were sitting made this a bit hard, turning his head to kiss the younger boy's ear softly.

"You guys are acting as if one of you is gonna go off to die in a war in a second. Nothing's gonna happen, Niall, Liam's gonna kick their ass otherwise, or well… he's gonna talk their ears off while trying to be nice and polite and they're gonna get so sick of it that they throw both of you out." Louis' jokes weren't exactly helping, even if Harry laughed, which said nothing because he laughed at pretty much everything that left the other boy's mouth. 

They just kept hugging for a while, until Niall's slight trembling had stopped and Liam dared pulling away carefully, keeping an arm loosely around him though, petting his knee with his free hand as Niall still had his legs across Liam's lap. "Alright?"

"Yeah… I guess so…" Which clearly meant that he wasn't alright in any way, but Liam knew nothing else to do besides smiling sadly at the boy, stroking his fingers through the blonde hair and trying his best to comfort him. Somehow he was really tempted to stay here now and not do anything at all, maybe nothing would happen if he took Niall anywhere in a plane, he was almost eighteen anyways, but then again… what if something happened?

They continued sitting there for a few more minutes, just wasting time and procrastinating at this point really before one of the other two pointed out that it was a hell long of a drive and that they'd have to get going at some point. So Liam just nodded, making sure to keep his arms and hands somewhere on Niall all the time as they got up and went for the door, slightly worried as Niall reached out to intertwine their fingers only one step outside. "So which car, mine or yours?"

Liam considered it for a moment, he had planned to drive himself of course, but that had been before the other two had come over, so he threw a look at Niall's face before looking back at Harry while pushing the elevator button. "Yours."

His bandmate just nodded, obviously understanding what this was about, Liam would rather sit in the back and keep an eye on Niall than driving for almost three hours while Niall felt bad sitting in the passenger seat. "Alright, I'm really bad at finding things though, it might take forever."

"I wouldn't mind that…" Niall mumbled, causing everyone to look at him before going silent, Liam squeezed the boy's fingers a bit, drawing him in closer to him until he could kiss the side of his head. Why did all of this have to be so bloody complicated, Niall didn't deserve it, after everything he's been through, things should've been easy for him and he shouldn't have had to worry, which was Liam's fault, it was his job to make sure the boy was alright, but what was he doing now, dragging him to the one place he wanted to be the least in the world. 

 

———————

 

The drive seemed to be even longer than expected, maybe it was Harry's lack of talent to find certain streets and then actually pull into them, but maybe it was just because Liam would've wished for it to go by faster, simply so that they could finally get it over with.

Niall was very quiet most of the time, he refused to let go of Liam's hand, wrapping both of his around the older one's, but he also refused really looking anywhere except for outside the window. It hurt like nothing else, to know that something was up with him and not being able to help or do something to change that, not even Liam halfheartedly cracking bad jokes could make the smaller boy smile. What'd he think, that Liam was gonna drop him off there and drive off?!

When Harry stopped the car, Liam unwillingly drew his eyes away from the side of Niall's face to look through the two front seats and out of the windshield, not quite expecting the foster home to be this big, but then again, why would it be small. "Well, that's…. something."

"Yeah…" All of them were staring except for Niall, he remained almost completely motionless, almost ripping Liam's hand off with how tight his grip was by now, but Liam just let him, turning his head to look at Louis when the oldest spoke his own worries out loud. "Have you guys ever thought about what kinda disaster we're gonna cause if we just go in there, there's kids everywhere in there."

"They don't let them run around all over the place, Lou, don't be stupid." Harry laughed, but stopped quickly once he probably realized how wrong a sound like this seemed to be right now when the mood was at a low, Liam's and Niall's at least. "Well, anyways, we have to go in, we can't send Niall in alone and Liam is so bad at explaining situations that we'd be waiting here for ten hours."

"Charming, Haz, thanks. You know at the speed rate you're talking, I could say the same about you." Besides, Liam wasn't bad at explaining things at all, he just rolled his eyes at his bandmate before turning back to Niall, who was just looking down now, torturing his bottom lip with his teeth. "Hey… we'll drive back home in a bit, you'll see."

"Yeah… let's just… get it over with." And with that, Niall unexpectedly let go of Liam's hand and was the first one to get out, but he didn't take off, he just stood there outside the car after throwing the door shut again, obviously trying to calm down as he kept his face turned away from the windows. 

"I hope this'll go as easy as you told him, Li." Throwing a glare at Louis for that unnecessary comment, Liam completely ignored him otherwise before unbuckling his seat belt and making sure to get outside as well, walking around the car to get to where Niall was still standing, luckily not crying, just staring. 

"Ni… " There was nothing to say really that Liam hadn't already told him a million times, he hesitated for a second before wrapping an arm around Niall's shoulders, grateful that the boy didn't flinch away.

"I'm fine, I just… I'm a little scared. But it's okay, I… we can do this." The 'we' caused Liam to smile weakly, rubbing Niall's shoulder as the boy turned to look at him, his face a little paler than usually despite the fact that he always got red cheeks whenever it was cold outside like now. 

"Of course we can, babe and tonight we're gonna watch movies in my bed and eat so much junk food that I'll be yelled at for days straight." Well, he would be anyways, Liam's workout was lacking terribly because of Niall being here, it's just, he couldn't seem to care just one bit. "You ready?"

"Yeah…. hey, Li." A slight smile was playing around Niall's lips as he looked at him that gave Liam a tiny bit of hope, maybe the younger boy would be fine after all. What he really hadn't expected though was the short kiss that he got on his cheek, something Niall didn't usually do. "Thank you for… always trying to cheer me up."

For a moment, Liam had to take that in, the remaining feeling of Niall's soft lips against his skin, looking into his clear blue eyes before returning the smile he got, a little brighter maybe, holding Niall tighter. "Of course, Ni, I always want you to be happy."

And then, because it would just be fair, he leaned forward to kiss Niall's cheek in return, grinning even wider now when the boy blushed slightly, the color in his face making him look a little healthier. "Um, we should… go probably."

Liam couldn't help but chuckle over Niall's slight embarrassment, he was so cute, still pressing into Liam though, wrapping an arm around his waist to be even closer. "Yeah, we'll be out of there in no time anyways."

Being so positive all the time, or pretending to, had as a consequence that Liam got even more nervous now, because he didn't wanna have this whole thing turning out completely different then and making Niall sad, or worse, make him cry. But he still tried to keep himself together, continuing to keep Niall close as he gave the others a sign to come outside as well before walking Niall to the main entrance as slowly as he thought would be appropriate. Truth be told, even Liam's heart was beating way too fast right now. 

"You think we can just walk in there? I mean, it seems kinda irresponsible to letting strangers go inside." That was the bad side about bringing Louis and Harry along, even if they kept falling behind a few steps, their constant discussions and comments about things were always very prominent, just for once though, Liam chose to not turn around and say something, just busy rubbing Niall's shoulder while trying to keep calm himself as well.

Much unlike what Harry had obviously pictured, there weren't tons of kids running around and falling all over each other that he could pick up and do whatever with, not that Liam paid a lot of attention to what the other two were up to behind him, all he was focused on was how Niall tensed up immediately and how sweaty his own hands were as he moved them now, keeping them on Niall's shoulders instead. There had never been a time before when Liam had felt so much like throwing up right on the floor.

"Um, hi." Liam tried his best to sound confident, mature, but it came out somehow wrong because he had to cough not a second later, having to use almost all of his strength to keep Niall from moving away from him, he was probably about to hide behind Liam any second like he always did. 

There was a woman sat behind a desk, Liam wasn't sure what this was called, probably not reception because this was a foster home after all, but he also didn't really spend too much time thinking about this as she looked up, expression understandably confused for a second. Or maybe it was because of what Niall looked like, Liam didn't know because he couldn't see the younger boy's face, trying his best to not forgetting about rubbing his upper arms comfortably. "Do you have an appointment, or how may I help you?"

Right, this was the part where Liam could've needed some help, but Harry and Louis were still obviously somewhere behind doing whatever, so Liam took a deep breath, he could do this, it was fine. "Well, it's, um… kind of a long story, but no, I… we don't have an appointment, actually I just wanted to um… ask something."

"And what?" The woman pulled her eyebrows up, obviously very much questioning Liam's social skills, but he was way too nervous as to worry about that now, he was just trying to figure out what the right words were to say this.

"Well, I was wondering if you could tell me whether-"

"He just wanted to ask if you got some information on a boy called Niall Horan." Louis had popped up out of nowhere, confusing the woman even more and Niall used the chance to step back a little bit, twisting his fingers into Liam's shirt like he always did, his face undefinable, but pale. 

"I'm sorry, I can't give out any personal information about our children, you have to-"

"Well, that's kinda the problem here, he's not one of the kids living here, actually… that's Niall right here." Pointing at Niall, Louis caused the younger boy to press into Liam even further, shaking slightly and causing Liam to hold him tighter, resisting the urge to press his lips to the boy's head and whisper soothing things to him, nothing was soothing about this situation. "He's 17 and he was supposed to, well… have a place here, about two years ago." 

That sounded more than confusing even to Liam and he knew the story after all, but he didn't interrupt Louis, simply because he was so glad that he didn't have to be the one to talk. Harry smiled at him and Niall from where he was next to his boyfriend, but it didn't help to calm either of them down, somehow Liam suddenly had a really bad feeling about all of this, letting his arm slip from around Niall to bring it in between them instead, softly opening up Niall's grip around his clothes to intertwine their fingers instead. "Right, um… for that kinda question you'd have to go upstairs and talk with someone else, I'll give them a call and say that you're gonna come, the stairs are around the corner, first floor to the left. Right, and what was your name?"

"Louis Tomlinson. Thanks." Louis seemed pretty pleased with himself, obviously not noticing the way the woman was looking at all of them before they walked off, which was kinda understandable, it must've looked weird, to see three guys and Niall, who basically looked like a baby, asking such question.

"Well, she was friendly." It came out pretty sarcastic once they were around the corner, Harry chuckled, apparently not at all worried about anything at all as he looked over his shoulder at Niall, who was hugging Liam's arm now as well as holding his hand, refusing to look up or speak a word and Liam had run out of comforting things to say because he was doubting them himself all of a sudden. "Hey, Ni, cheer up, it's all good, you think anyone would wanna argue with us?"

He ruffled the younger boy's blonde hair, getting nothing out of him except for a flinch that had Liam sighing, slowly shaking his head at Harry to maybe show him that his attempts to get Niall to smile weren't gonna work right now, hell, he wouldn't even have been able to smile himself.

When they reached the first floor, they were a little bit lost, other than expected, this building was very quiet considering that it was a foster home, but then again, this was probably not the main building or something, Liam also wouldn't have even noticed, if it hadn't been for Louis and Harry talking about that they hadn't met a single person in here except for the woman downstairs. "I guess this is what she meant?"

Looking back for agreement, Louis just shrugged then as he got none, knocking on the door that they had reached, thank god he and Harry were here, Liam wouldn't have known how to do this all by himself, he was just making sure to check Niall's face every few seconds because the boy looked close to tears, sometimes kissing his head or rubbing his thumb along Niall's, hoping to get anything back, even just a look, but nothing. His head was down and if Liam hadn't held on so tightly, he wasn't sure if Niall would've even been still holding his hand.

There was no answer whatsoever, so Louis just went ahead and pressed the door handle down, good thing he clearly gave no fuck about whether it was appropriate or not to just burst into the room because he did it anyways, followed closely by Harry and then Liam softly pulled Niall along with him, closing the door behind them before looking around in the room, not coming very far with his inspection though.

"I knew that name was kinda familiar." Yet another woman, only this one was smiling and also, she just kinda looked like she was in a higher position, maybe the owner or something, Liam didn't know, he just watched her coming over with a stretched out hand, to Louis first though, as she introduced herself. 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Louis. So you do know Niall?" The oldest asked while shaking her hand, causing her face to go confused for a second before she checked everyone's faces, laughing shortly. 

"No, I meant _your_ name." Oh shit. "It's different seeing you in person than on a kids' bedroom wall though. Well anyways, it's a pleasure to have you all here but I'm afraid I didn't quite understand the reason…?"

She went on shaking everyone's hand and they introduced themselves, even though she was a little more suspicious as she came to Niall who acted as shy as he always did, barely looking at her and it made sense that she was seemingly confused if she knew who they were, she must've been wondering who that blonde boy was then. "Well, before we explain, we'd like to ask you to keep this under secrecy, you probably understand that we um… don't exactly wanna have this public."

"Of course." Liam wasn't sure if he should believe her or not, but it's not like he was the one who made decisions here apparently, it was Louis who nodded, which made sense because he was the oldest and Liam was always glad to have his bandmate getting him out of situations when he himself was at a loss of words, the only bad thing was that Louis looked at Liam then, obviously expecting him to explain this now. Well, who else should it have done, Liam was the only one who knew the whole story, except for Niall himself of course, who looked more as if he might pass out than saying a word now.

"Well, um, that's Niall and I… well, he was supposed to come here like two years ago like Louis said after an… incident, but he never got here because he never got onto the connecting flight because he, well… he ran away. And um… he was on the streets for quite a while until I found him and, well, offered him to stay with me, so yeah, he's living with me now. The reason why we came is just, because… he's underaged and I gotta know if it's legal if I take him anywhere because we'll be on tour and stuff and yeah…" Wow, Liam was so bad at explaining things, Harry had been absolutely right, he was more looking at the wall now than the woman, squeezing Niall's hand tightly as he felt his own shake. There was a reason why Liam hadn't said how long Niall had been with him now, he didn't want her to know yet, didn't want her to say things like 'oh well, only a little over a month, you guys can't be that attached right', though that probably were not the words she'd use but anyways.

"That's unexpected, well, in that case, I'm gonna need an ID from Niall, if he has one?" She pulled her eyebrows up, still studying both Liam's and Niall's faces as she had all along as he had talked, so he just nodded now, feeling like a dumb child under her looks as he reached into his pocket with his free hand, pulling the passport out he had asked Niall to give to him before, already expecting something like this. "Thank you, I'm just quickly gonna go check on the computer, you guys can have a seat meanwhile."

Maybe it was good that she needed to check first of all, maybe there was no record of Niall anywhere at all and they'd be out of here in five minutes or something. Still, since Harry and Louis went to take a seat on the chairs by the wall, exchanging so many looks that it would've been impossible for Liam to ignore, he pulled Niall over as well, finally being able to look at the boy's face again. He was even paler now, if that was even possible, snuggling into Liam's side as soon as they sat down, pressing his face into the crook of his shoulder, not letting go of his hand. "Ni, you okay, babe?"

There was no answer at first and Liam felt his stomach twist uncomfortably, reaching out with his free hand to smooth the boy's hair out gently, trying really hard to not shake out of fear. He wasn't supposed to be scared, not in front of Niall, not when the boy needed him to be strong for the both of them. "Yeah…."

His voice was so silent, Liam was pretty sure he was the only who had heard it even if the others were right next to him, looking at him and Niall with sad faces, trying a few smiles that Liam couldn't have returned even if he had wanted to, he just kept on stroking Niall, mumbling to him that it was gonna be alright and that he was here just so that all of his calming attempts could be destroyed with one sentence from over where the computer was. "Niall James Horan, right… this is quite extraordinary, the fact that you are here now. You are still listed as missing, but they stopped searching after two weeks about two years ago."

"Why?" It was Harry who had asked, Liam was barely listening, his ears were ringing now as he leaned back, almost forgetting to hold Niall from how disappointed he was, shit, they knew about him, they should't have come. 

"There were no hints or anything that he was being kidnapped or that anything dramatic had happened and they did search but the police can only do so much, and since he is an orphan without any family, well, I don't wanna say they do less but sadly that is sometimes the case." Fucking great, what a nice place, Liam really felt like getting up and just dragging Niall outside, covering his face in kisses until he smiled again, but he could barely move, just sitting there, frozen almost as the woman came over now, her expression softer as she pulled a chair out to sit in front of Niall and Liam. "And you took him in? He lives with you?"

"Yeah, he does." Liam tried to sound firm and look into her eyes, to show her that he meant it, but she just nodded, looking at Niall instead.

"May I ask, how long ago was that?" Immediately, Liam tensed up, playing with the thought of telling the truth, but he didn't want to somehow, didn't wanna mess anything up in case she would be trying to use it against him.

"A while." And then, because he felt like that hadn't been clear enough and Niall's fingers clenched around his, Liam forced himself to talk on. "And he's gonna stay with me too."

"Alright, well, I'm glad that he had so much luck and that you're there taking care of him, I was just wondering if, Niall, would you come with me over there into my office and have a talk with me, alone? I'd just like to ask you a couple of things, nothing more." This sounded like the worst idea in the world, Liam quickly exchanged a look with Louis, who didn't seem as stressed out as Liam felt, checking Niall's face immediately as the younger boy slowly lifted his head off of Liam's shoulder, looking at the woman for maybe two seconds before yes, he turned to Liam instead, as if asking him whether he should go or not, not even bothering to answer.

On one hand, Liam hated not being able to come along, but he couldn't let Niall see his worries so he forced himself to a small smile, stroking the boy's cheek before kissing his forehead softly, not minding that everyone was watching them. "It's okay, Ni, I'll be right here waiting for you, okay? It's fine." 

Though Niall wasn't crying, Liam saw that he was seconds from having tears streaming down his face, he didn't though, he just stared at Liam for a little bit longer before looking down, his bottom lip pushed back, making him look so adorable and small that Liam almost told the woman that he refused to let Niall go anywhere without him. "O-Okay…"

"Great. It'll just take a few minutes, Liam is gonna be right out here." As she stood up, smiling at Niall in what she probably considered a comforting way, Niall only moved barely, pulling his hand from Liam's slowly, looking at him so frightened that it hurt Liam's heart. 

"It's okay, Niall, it's okay." Nothing was okay though and they all knew it, Niall was shaking slightly as he attempted to nod before getting to his feet as well after Liam had kissed his temple once more, the younger boy was trying so hard to not let it show how scared he was, not succeeding in any way though. 

But he still went with the woman then into the extra room, while Liam kept looking at him from behind, trying to figure out how he could let such a thing happen after promising Niall so many times that he'd be there with him the whole time long, barely feeling Louis' hand rubbing his back as the blonde boy looked over his shoulder once more, panic written in his eyes before the door closed and got Niall completely out of Liam's reach.

Well, fuck.

 

——————

 

Niall's hands were shaking terribly as he rubbed them on his jeans in an attempt dry them, his stomach felt as if though it had to empty itself right on the awful high heels in front of him. Why was Liam letting this happen? He had promised he'd be with Niall the whole time and hold his hand, that they wouldn't have to part and it's not that Niall didn't understand why this was happening, he just didn't want it to, because… because what if Liam and the others left meanwhile?! Not that they were terrible people, but Niall would've understood if they abandoned him, he was seconds from crying now, barely able to concentrate on anything going on around him except for the door shutting rather loudly. Or maybe that was just because he had been so scared of it happening.

"Why don't you have a seat right here?" Her voice wasn't too mean, but Niall still kept his head down, almost stumbling as he dropped into the chair in front of the table, twisting his fingers together, never once lifting his eyes. Why couldn't Liam be here as well? What was so important that she could only tell Niall? What if Liam had already left?! "Alright, Niall, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not really used to cases like this, we've had a few runaways but usually they come back after a week or we find them. You, on the other hand, two years, that's… quite a long time. How long have you been staying with Liam Payne?"

No idea how she had remembered his full name for so long, fact was that Niall flinched terrible at hearing it, nervously picking at the skin next to his thumbnail, Liam HAD to wait outside for him, he had promised. "U-Um… a-a m-month…"

"Well, that's not that long, so you've been on your own until a month ago? Where did you sleep? How did you manage to survive all by yourself?" Those questions were getting to Niall's head, maybe he should've said longer than a month but it was too late now, besides, Niall wasn't used to situations like this, where he didn't know whether to tell the truth or not, he was just happy if he didn't start crying like a baby. 

"I-I… I-I s-slept um… i-in p-parks…" What did she want to hear? Wasn't it obvious Niall hadn't been staying in five star hotels?!

"Alright, well, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. A much more serious topic though, and I need you to be honest with me, nothing you say here leaves this room and in case you need help then I'm here for you." Wait what? "He didn't force you to go home with him, did he? Or did he do anything else to you? Threaten you? Hit you? … abused you? Anything?"

Niall almost fell out of his chair from hearing those questions, hadn't she fucking looked at Liam, how could she even begin to think of accusing him of such things?! His head had snapped up now, staring at the woman to see whether she was being serious about this. She was. "No! Liam would n-never do that, he's t-the o-only person that… c-cares about m-me and I j-just… I j-just wanna s-stay w-with him and h-he… he promised m-me t-that I c-can." 

"Alright…" She sighed, it hadn't sounded as if it was an 'Alright, you can stay with him' but rather an 'Alright, listen…' and Niall's hands got even sweatier, he wanted Liam to come and sort this out and take him home. "Niall, I understand that you are kind of… attached to Liam, but a month is not that long and from what I understand, he's quite busy and also, his celebrity status is maybe not exactly suited for… for keeping you with him. Maybe you wanna consider staying here? Just for a night or two, you know, just to see if you'd like it, I'm sure you would. You're almost off age as well, so it would only be for about a year and then you can-"

"N-No… No, I… I s-stay with Liam." Though his voice sounded a bit firmer now, Niall could feel a tear spilling over, what if that wasn't an offer? What if she was gonna FORCE him to stay here? "Please, I… h-he p-promised…" 

"I was just giving you options, Niall, you're old enough to decide for yourself." Oh really,?! Thank god, Niall almost breathed out from relief, still refusing to look at her though and staring into his lap instead, still scared as hell. "If you do want to stay with him though then I'm going to have to talk to him and inform him about certain things, that might take a while."

"W-What things?" Bad things? Things that would make Liam not wanting to have Niall anymore?!

"Don't worry about that, Niall, he seemed to be quite protective of you, I'm sure there will be no problem regarding this. Although I would very much advise you to stay here instead as we are more qualified to help you find back into a normal life style again, also, maybe provide professional help, as I read in your file that you went to therapy for a few-"

"I d-don't need t-therapy, I… " He just needed Liam, didn't she get that?!

"Well, I'm going to talk with Liam about that then, since you have never actually been registered here, this is not going to be as much of a problem as if he would want to adopt you, but there's still some paperwork. Alright." She got up then, which Niall only barely noticed since he wasn't looking up, but he got to his very shaky feet as well, not quite yet sure whether he was allowed to be happy already or not, because who knew what she was gonna tell Liam now, what she was gonna do to try and convince him otherwise maybe, oh god, Niall felt like throwing up again.

He tried not to have an expression on his face as if he might die as he waited for the woman to open the door, immediately looking up to see whether everyone was still there and the knot in his stomach disappeared the second he locked eyes with Liam, though the older boy seemed worried as he got to his feet, not even hesitating before coming over, his arm already stretched out towards Niall to curl around his waist immediately, pulling him in. Why had Niall been worried again? "Everything alright?"

Liam first looked at Niall then at the woman while the younger boy snuggled into him, feeling bad now for being so quiet during the whole drive, for not trying hard enough to smile a little bit whenever Liam had tried cheering him up, which was quite easy to say now though he would only be completely calm again once they walked out of here. "Everything is fine, I'm just gonna need to talk to you as well for a while, this might gonna take a little longer though, so if you wanna come inside, please."

"Yeah, of course, thank you." At least Liam's voice wasn't shaking anymore now, he sounded pretty confident again for which Niall was more than happy, he didn't like seeing Liam unsure about situations, the boy was his rock, his only source of comfort, if he was worried about something then that meant it really was serious. "I… one second." 

Before Niall realized what was going on, Liam had already turned to hug him, right in front of everyone but so tightly as if they were alone, face buried in the younger's hair, Niall felt his breathing going easier as he snuggled into his warm body, almost feeling alright again. 

Other than expected, Liam didn't say anything at all though, he just kept on holding Niall for a while, obviously not bothering about making the woman wait, or maybe she wasn't, Niall didn't care enough to check, all he tried to concentrate on was breathing in Liam's familiar scent and thinking about how much he never wanted to be anywhere else in the world again. Well, that was until his mind emptied all at once. "I love you so much, okay? I'll be right back, Ni."

And to top it off, he kissed Niall's cheek as well, lingering a bit longer and breathing out against his skin, as if Niall hadn't been frozen enough already, hell he couldn't even answer or do anything because of how fast Liam was gone then and because of how much his heart was flattering and the goosebumps and-

"Ni, you know he's gone, right?" Right, Niall did know that, he was also very well aware of how amused Harry's voice sounded behind him and how awkwardly he turned around then with a more than flushed face, trying his hardest not to look up as he walked back to his chair, his movements a little robotic almost as he sat down. 

"Did everything go alright?" It was Louis who asked this time, getting Niall even more embarrassed for not being able to answer immediately, hell, he had almost forgotten what all of this had been about in the first place. 

"U-Um… y-yeah… well, she… she wanted to convince me to overthink this but I… I told her I'd stay with Liam and… I don't think she likes that, but… but Liam's not gonna change his mind, right?" Just to be sure, Niall rubbed his cheek a bit to get it back to a normal color as he checked Harry's and Louis' faces for a little reassurance, they were both smirking, but not as if they were making fun of Niall, more as if he was a little child or something. He was somehow to be honest, at least that's what it felt like half of the time.

"Niall, he loves you, he just told you in front of all of us, he would rather leave the band instead of changing his mind." For a moment, Niall's eyes went a little wider at that as he stared at Louis, suddenly feeling really guilty for some reason.

"I… I wouldn't allow that, and he wouldn't do that anyways, I mean, that would just be really-"

"Hey, it's alright, Ni, nothing bad is gonna happen, alright? We told you all along, there was never a reason for you to be nervous in any way, Liam may suck at explaining things but to make up for that he's brilliant at taking care of people that mean something to him. And as things are now, I'd say you mean the most to him right now." Great, if Niall had helped his cheeks getting paler again then it had been a waste of time, no denying, there definitely were butterflies in his tummy now as he sat on his hand to make sure they weren't shaking, both from anxiety but also excitement. Did Liam really like him this much? He had never dared to even think about that Liam might actually mean everything he had told Niall, but now that they were here and Liam had said all those things and oh god, Niall's hands were getting sweaty again. 

"O-Okay…" Well that had sounded pathetic, not that Niall could've changed it, because let's be honest, that's exactly what he was, but somehow Louis still started rubbing his back, laughing shortly.

"You guys are so cute, I'm definitely not going to mind being able to watch you every day when we're tour." Hearing this out of Louis' mouth almost had Niall say something, but he kept quiet then, too anxious for Liam to come back and still embarrassed because of before.

Harry took care of it though, he seemed pretty amused as well, not that Niall checked, but he could very well hear the playful banter next to him. "Look who's talking now, Lou, remember when you laughed at me when I said I could watch Niall sleep for hours straight?"

Wait… "When did you-"

"That's completely different, watching someone sleeping is creepy, I'm just happy to see Liam and him interact because they're cute together, that's all." It was as if Niall wasn't even there anymore, which normally, he preferred, just now, he really would've liked an answer to when the hell they had watched him sleeping?!

Or maybe not. "You mean _together_ , or together? Because that'd be weird, Liam's literally in there adopting him. Even though, how long do you think he's gonna need to realize Niall's crushing on him like a school girl?"

Oh shit, great, now he would DEFINITELY not look up ever again, was he so obvious? Anyways, nothing would ever come out of this in a million years, Niall wasn't desperate or anything, it was just a tiny little crush, he liked looking at Liam when he had no shirt on but that was all, he was perfectly fine with how it was now, Liam taking care of him and treating him like this, he loved it. Besides, he knew that he was a child in Liam's eyes anyways. "I-I… I'm n-not-"

"It's okay, Ni, we're not gonna tell him, he's really oblivious anyways. Besides, you don't have to be embarrassed, who wouldn't be crushing on him, right?" A second after this had left Harry's mouth, Niall could hear some sound next to him before the older boy suddenly let out something like a groan. "Louis! What was that for?!"

"For implying that everyone is crushing on Liam which would include you, don't say that in front of me, mister, I'm your boyfriend and Liam smells." Would it have been inappropriate for Niall to disagree now? Probably, he didn't open his mouth anyways, just kept from interrupting them, seeing as they would most likely ignore him, besides, and that was more than weird, he somehow felt good about knowing that he'd never have any competition in trying to be the person who spent the most time with Liam.

Their banter went on for a while, they were a lot touchier than usual, which was pretty new for Niall though he knew that they were dating, they had never actually told him or done anything like kissing in front of him, so when they did now, even Niall's ears were burning which Harry pointed out amusedly after he was done snogging his boyfriend. 

Still, even though the other two were as positive about the situation as someone could possibly be, Niall started to get fidgety again after about 45 minutes, he understood that this was gonna take a while, he was just slightly worried about how much time this woman had to try and convince Liam to do whatever. But she wouldn't manage to do that, would she? Liam loved Niall, he had told him that, TWO times already, that was a lot and it still made his heart flatter to think about, he wouldn't just abandon him now, he had even told Niall before, that he was gonna proof how much he really wanted to have him with him by doing this.

So that's why Niall silently made himself a promise that if Liam was gonna walk out of there and tell him that he had it official, he wasn't ever gonna start doubting the older boy's words again, he would try and fully trust him from there on, no more thoughts about running away or whatever, this would be the final decision.

And surprisingly, for the first time, Niall was actually able to believe and accept that this was what his life was gonna stay like eventually, he _really_ would stay with Liam permanently.

 

——————

 

It took more than an hour for Liam to sign everything that he was handed, answer all those questions and try to sound convincing while saying things like 'I highly doubt that it would be good for him to stay here, I'm the only person he trusts, what do you think is gonna happen if I betray him?' for at least 20 billion times.

Liam must admit though, he knew the woman was right somehow, that maybe his lifestyle wasn't suitable for a 17 year old who had run away from home and had been through such dramatic situations, who wasn't even finished with school yet. It partly was his selfish side that insisted on Niall staying with him, partly also the fact that even imaging going out there and telling Niall that he couldn't come with them would absolutely kill Liam. Why would he agree to abandoning the small boy when it would break both of their hearts? If he did this, Niall would never ever learn to trust anybody, and besides that, Liam was 100% sure he'd come back for him within a week anyways.

Maybe saying all of this out loud was what convinced the woman then to agree that it probably really would be better for Niall to stay with Liam, luckily, because she had sounded quite unsure, despite everything she had apparently promised Niall before, that he could decide for himself, she had more or less just tried to calm down a kid by telling him lies to make him feel better. That was another reason why Niall shouldn't stay here, sometimes he really did need to be treated like a child, but he didn't deserve being lied to by anybody, not after everything he had been through.

"Alright, then, it was a pleasure meeting you, Liam, also thank you for bringing him here, there would've most likely been problems if you would've taken him out of the country." Liam suddenly highly doubted this but he kept up the smile as he got to his feet as well, shaking her stretched out hand over the desk he had just signed about 50 papers on. 

"Thank you too, for, you know, making this so easy, I was a little bit worried what would happen to be honest." Easy was maybe the wrong word, but Liam was trying to be polite here, having to suppress his urge to just go outside to hug Niall and never let him go again. This would maybe take a while to sink in but Niall lived with him now, _legally_ , like, it was almost ridiculous how happy Liam was about the possibility of getting sued for letting the boy run away again. Not that he would.

"Well, I wasn't quite convinced in the beginning, but I must admit it does have a lot of advantages for him that he wouldn't have here." She meant financially and Liam knew it but he didn't say it, that was another point, if he wasn't who he was, he knew she wouldn't have agreed, not in a billion years. But luckily, he was. "Anyways, don't forget to call in so we can settle when to send a social worker over, you are free to go now and take Niall with you."

"Thank you, and of course." Hell, Liam couldn't wait to fucking go, he was almost rude getting to the door so quickly and half ripping it open, his heart beating fast now, not for any bad reasons though, he simply couldn't fucking wait to tell his boy.

"How'd it go?" It was Louis who asked, they still all were in their previous seats as Liam came outside, trying not to smash the door closed accidentally from how excited he was right now, though he tried not to let it show on his face at first as he locked eyes with Niall.

The blonde boy seemed to be torn between getting up and running over and breaking out into tears because of whatever reason, had he seriously been out there thinking Liam was gonna let himself be convinced by that woman? "Well… I'm really sorry, Ni, but… seems like you're not gonna get rid of me again anytime soon."

For a moment there, the other's faces had almost fallen at the pause he had taken, but as Liam finished and started laughing, Louis rolled his eyes before joining, Harry seemed to be seconds from saying 'I told you so' and Niall, well, he still broke out into those tears he had been holding in, almost jumping up to meet Liam halfway, with a hug so tight it almost pressed the air out of his lunges. "R-Really? S-She s-said y-yes?"

"Awe, Ni, babe, of course she did, it's all sorted out now, alright? No more worries about anything, you're staying with me, all legally." And just because it felt so nice to have that weight taken off of his chest, Liam laughed again, a bit breathlessly as he buried his face in the blonde hair, hoping that he wasn't hurting the younger boy with how tightly he held him pressed into him, it's just, he couldn't help it, he was just too happy. "Let's go, I wanna get out of here as soon as possible."

"M-Me too…" Niall was still noticeably crying, so Liam held on a bit longer, squeezing him before taking both of Niall's hands into his as he pulled back, rubbing his thumbs over the back as he leaned forward to kiss the boy's forehead and then his eyebrow and wet cheek and nose until he got to hear his most favorite giggle in the world. "Liii, that tickles!"

"I know." God, he was so adorable, it was so hard to even form a proper sentence because Liam was so busy staring at him while grinning dumbly, letting go of one of Niall's hands to bring it up instead, softly wiping the last few tears away. "I love you so much, Ni, have I told you that already?"

"I-"

"About fifty times, Liam, let's go, you guys can declare your love for each other in the car." Right, they weren't alone, Liam couldn't help but chuckle at Harry's annoyed voice and Niall's blushed cheeks, he was smiling too, a little shaky though, he didn't complain as Liam let go of his other hand as well, snaking it around Niall's shoulders instead to pull him in, still chuckling as he led the younger boy to the door. "What'd she do to you, Liam?"

"Nothing, I'm just happy, isn't that understandable?" They were probably just teasing him anyways, because as Liam looked over his shoulder, both his bandmates were smiling as they walked through the door after him, not at him though, but at the blonde boy having both his arms wrapped around Liam's waist from the side. It made walking a whole lot more complicated, but who wouldn't take this on them with pleasure? 

"I'm happy too…" Niall mumbled, half into Liam's shirt, apparently not planning on letting go ever again, which was convenient because Liam felt much the same as he squeezed the boy, kissing the top of his head as they headed for the stairs. 

"I'm glad you are, babe, because it'd suck if you weren't since you're gonna have to deal with me for quite a long time now, you know." Yeah, Liam kinda liked talking about it now that he could say it so easily, he felt on top of the world right now to be honest, everything seemed to be so clear all of a sudden and he couldn't fucking wait anymore to get home and never let Niall go again.

"A very long time hopefully." Was all the other boy replied, causing Liam to smile incredibly much wider, his cheeks were almost aching at this point, but neither Louis' slightly amused face nor Harry's snort could've gotten him embarrassed now. Of course, they were just pretending to make fun of Liam anyways, deep down they were just as relieved as him, he knew that they cared a hell lot about Niall as well or they wouldn't even be here in the first place. 

Niall didn't let go of him in any way at all as they walked to the car, and even as they got inside, he insisted on sitting in the middle part of the backseat, just so he could hug Liam's arm to his chest, cuddle into his side and rest his head on the older boy's shoulder, letting out a content sigh then that caused Liam's heart to melt. The boy was so happy to be allowed to stay with him it was almost ridiculous, the feeling of being needed so much, of someone constantly wanting to be so close was overwhelming, even though you would've thought Liam knew how it felt since he had (well maybe not any longer) a girlfriend, but somehow, he hadn't known that feeling before, but now that he did, he never wanted to loose this again.

"So where we heading to, back home?" Harry asked casually as he started the car, he and Louis had probably already planned that they'd stay over for the rest of the day or something, but actually, Liam had other things in mind suddenly.

"No, we gotta do something else first." Something very important that caused everyone to look at Liam in confusion, well not Harry because that would've been kind of more than dangerous. "We gotta go get a suitcase for Niall, we're gonna be away soon." 

"Why? He's mostly wearing your stuff anyways." Which partly was true, though he did wear his own jeans and pants, but Liam had started doubting whether he'd ever get his shirt back, not that he wanted it, god no.

"Because it's more comfortable." Niall tried to defend himself from his place almost half on top of Liam, he moved a little, of course only to press closer into the older boy which Liam welcomed more than just happily, he would've pulled Niall into his lap if they hadn't been in the car, but there was enough time for that later, a whole night actually.

"It looks cute too, Ni, but you're still gonna need a suitcase anyways." There was no complainant after that, mostly because Niall turned red as a tomato once again, burying his face further into Liam's shirt, if that was even possible, probably not.

"Alright then, we'll get him one. Anyways, what I wanted to ask, did she just kinda _give_ Niall to you or what happened in there, took you quite long." This wasn't Liam's favorite topic right now, but he'd have to answer anyways, seeing as they would sit in the car for hours together, so he sighed, reaching out with the hand Niall wasn't hugging to start playing with the boy's hair absently, sometimes stroking down to his ear and cheek.

"Well, I had to sign like 50 papers or something, you know, that I'm in charge if anything happens to him, that I'll take care of him, until he turns 18 at least, all that stuff. And they'll send some social worker over sometime so they can check on Niall but that's all really, she tried telling me a few times that it'd be better for him to stay there, but that's bullshit of course, I mean, what do they have that I don't?" A very good question actually, even though it caused both Harry and Louis to start laughing, which did confuse Liam a bit because he had been kinda serious. Well, there was one thing that had gotten stuck on his mind, that maybe Niall should've gone see a therapist or something after what had happened, but he highly doubted that the boy would agree, he didn't even wanna bring it up actually, besides, Niall was getting better the longer he stayed with Liam, he just needed someone to be there for him and care about him.

"Liam this is not a competition, you know, I highly doubt she was so keen on getting Niall as you were." Of course this wasn't a competition, Niall belonged to Liam and no one else, period. "Besides that, you're probably right though, I feel bad for those kids there, we should adopt a bunch of them, Lou."

"Yeah, that's totally not gonna be suspicious, babe." Louis was laughing though, and if Liam hadn't been so busy sorting out Niall's soft hair and peppering kisses everywhere he could reach, he would've gotten worried about them actually doing what Harry had suggested. 

"It's not half as suspicious as Liam getting papped holding hands with Niall." True, though they hadn't actually gotten caught holding hands yet, not that Liam would've payed any attention right now, he had been too busy anyways to go online much or think about anything that wasn't Niall, but the second he'd get a call from management yelling at him, Liam would know what was up. Not that that would stop him, the others probably knew that very well.

There was nothing more to discuss regarding this day though, luckily, because as soon as Liam threw a look down at Niall and saw the boy fighting to keep his eyes open, he decided to try and not bring this up anymore, just forget about it because it was completely irrelevant, all he wanted to do was take care of Niall and he'd get to do that now, every day, without ever having to worry about it. 

They did get a suitcase for him, though neither him nor Liam took much part in it and the only reason why they even managed to get out of the store again was because the other two got so annoyed with them not being able to decide and Liam just keeping on hugging Niall from behind that they took it upon themselves.

Maybe their cuddliness was also the reason for Harry and Louis to leave Liam's apartment sooner than expected, even if it was pretty late already as well, because of the long drive and all, not that it would've kept Liam from keeping the promises he had made before. "Babe, before you come in here, turn the lights off in the hallways, please, I doubt we'll be able to get up after this."

Saying that made Liam feel really happy, he felt so domestic somehow, lying in his bed with the telly on, covered in the blanket because otherwise the ice cream would've caused frost bites to form on his skin. "Okay!"

Niall sounded so happy as he yelled back from somewhere in the bathroom that Liam couldn't help but smile, still thrilled because of earlier, somehow even more now, because he got to actually full on enjoy this now without any worries in the back of his mind. Plus, another very big improvement, Niall was way happier too, less shy somehow, though he still blushed a lot of course, he didn't seem to be so unsure anymore, maybe Liam had finally managed to convince him with this, maybe the younger boy finally trusted him.

When Niall entered his bedroom, he was wearing the usual clothes he always wore to bed, his hair looked damp and messy, yet still, Liam couldn't help but feel more than blessed looking at him, even more than normally, is heart could've bursted as he watched the boy closing the door, his dimples showing as he was smiling while coming over to the bed immediately, a little clumsily climbing into the other half. Well, if you could call it that, they were more sleeping in the middle of the bed together anyways, Niall didn't even hesitate anymore, throwing Liam's blanket back to cover himself with it as well, not wasting any time as he snuggled up into the older boy, it all seemed so natural somehow.

"What're we watching?" Unsurprisingly, Niall's mouth didn't stay empty for even two more seconds, even if they were half lying down, Niall's head in the crook of Liam's shoulder and Liam's arm around him to keep him close, the younger boy still somehow managed to easily reach the spoon and box of ice cream Liam was holding.

"I don't know yet, whatever is on, unless you have special requests…careful, Ni, you'll get a tummy ache." Liam warned, because it had happened a few times a while ago, one time Niall had even come into his bed them in the middle of the night because he hadn't been able to sleep.

Maybe since he was already here anyways though, the younger boy ignored what Liam had added, shoving more ice cream into his mouth and almost making the older boy laugh despite the fact that he was almost getting it all over his shirt. "No requests. I don't mind whatever we're watching as long as we don't move anymore and just cuddle."

"Sounds like a really good idea, babe." More than that actually, it was what Liam had been looking forward to the whole day long, well, at least after they had driven back home again, because this morning, he hadn't been quite sure what was going to happen, so it felt even better now to have everything sorted out. "You'll get this all over yourself."

"No, I won't, I'm a very talented ice cream eater." Of course, though Liam tried not to laugh, he couldn't help it anyways, just because Niall sounded so serious though, propping himself up a bit suddenly to smirk at Liam, who was still holding box as Niall got another spoonful, not bringing it to his own lips this time but to Liam's instead. "Here, you gotta eat some too."

First, Liam thought about it before shrugging internally and opening his mouth, allowing Niall to feed him but, only because he was so adorable and because he had ice cream in the corner of his mouth that Liam decided to not point out yet, there was no need to, he'd get dirty again two seconds later. "Thanks, Ni."

"You're welcome… why did you only bring one spoon anyways?" Shaking his head as if this was an impossible scenario to happen to anyone, Liam just smirked as he ruffled the boy's hair, keeping on stroking it then because it was hard to stop once he started, plus Niall seemed to enjoy it a lot, though he put his head down again, still pressing a little bit into Liam's hand. 

"I don't know… I thought we could share. And less spoons mean less things to clean afterwards." The true reason was that Liam had seen this coming, besides, he wasn't very keen on having ice cream now, he also wasn't very sure whether Niall should have some at a time like this, it was almost midnight after all, but he had promised before so he wouldn't back out now.

For a while, they just watched TV and stayed like this, Niall kept on eating of course and Liam continued stroking the boy's hair, more focused on that than whatever was playing on the screen actually, in fact, whenever Niall chuckled over something, Liam had to grin without ever knowing if it had really been funny or not, it was simply the smaller boy who amused him. 

"God, I'm so full now…" After only 15 minutes, Niall had somehow managed to eat most of the whole box empty, which would've been quite worrying if it had been full in the beginning, but it still didn't seem very healthy to Liam as he watched Niall half sitting up, dropping the spoon into the box before taking it out of Liam's hands, half lying on top of him then to place it on the bedside table.

"That probably wasn't such a good idea, huh?" While the younger boy just shrugged, not moving back into his position yet but rather staying so they could look at each other, Liam reached out to get a tissue from his drawer, thinking about it for a second before just going ahead and bringing it to his mouth to make it wet before starting to clean Niall's face. As expected, there was no complainant about Liam using his spit, Niall didn't even seem to think about it. 

"Yes, it was a good idea, a very good one actually." He seemed very convinced by that, looking confident as if he didn't notice Liam rubbing around in his face with a tissue, well, that was until he looked down suddenly, the smile fading slowly, getting Liam worried from one second to the other. "Hey, Li…"

"What's the matter?" Once Niall's face was clean again, Liam continued stroking his cheek with his thumb carefully, wishing the younger boy would look at him again, but somehow, he suddenly seemed to be too shy to do so.

"Um, nothing I just… I just wanted to say thank you, because of today and… and sorry for not really believing you before, you know I… I was always worried, but… but now I know you really meant it and just… thank you so much, for everything." Oh, well that was nothing to worry about at all.

"Niall, look at me." He did, after a few seconds and Liam cupping his cheek, smiling slightly over Niall's words, this was what he had been trying to achieve all along, having the boy's full trust. "You don't have to thank me, you know I did it because I wanted to, Ni. But if that's what I needed to do to convince you then I'm extra happy that we went there today, even more now because I don't have to be worried about you taking off again."

"'m not gonna run away again, don't worry…" Niall mumbled, blush creeping into his cheeks as he looked down again, causing Liam to laugh softly over his cuteness as he ran his thumb over the boy's cheekbone slowly. 

"I know you won't baby, come here." He didn't have to say that twice, Niall had nuzzled his face into the crook of Liam's neck half a second later, half lying on top of him now, with one leg between Liam's under the blanket and their chests pressed together in the most comfortable way, Liam absolutely loved this, being wrapped in their cocoon of warmth, the younger boy's breath against his neck, hair tickling his skin, it was perfect. "I love you."

"Love you too…" It had taken Niall a second or two to answer and as he did, it was just really quiet and mumbled but it had definitely been there, making Liam happier than anything else ever could've, he tightened his arms around Niall, pressing a big kiss to the top of his head.

"You know I'd do anything for you, right? If there's ever something you need or whatever, no matter what, I'm always there for you and I'll try my best to help." Just to have it said once again, Liam often told the boy, but he tended to forget about it, or was too shy to actually take use of it, but after what had happened with Sophia, Liam needed to be sure Niall would come talk to him next time.

What Liam hadn't really expected though was hearing the boy take a very shaky sounding breath, his voice quite thin as he did speak up then, something completely different from what Liam would've though. "Anything?"

"Anything." Liam promised without hesitation, somehow really curious now what it would be, knowing Niall, something silly probably, but he still waited patiently, playing with a few streaks of blonde hair meanwhile.

"Even if… if it's really weird? And you're not gonna hate me afterwards for asking?" Wait, what?

"How could I ever hate you, silly? You can just ask or say whatever, Ni, I'm perfectly fine with weird." His curiosity was growing now, even more when Niall did't answer immediately, stirring a little before suddenly sitting up next to Liam, but he kept his hands on the smaller boy's waist anyways, watching the way he pushed his bottom lip back, fidgeting his fingers together with lowered eyes. This was probably the most adorable sight in the world, Liam would've pointed that out if Niall hadn't seemed so nervous.

"Um, well… so I was wondering, because, um… because you know, since I'm 17 and… it might sound weird but there's this thing and… I just, I've been thinking about it for quite a while and I just…remembered it now because of that show on TV and you just said that, so I… I just wanna know what it's like and, uh, I know you'll say no but… but can you maybe… kiss me?" Well, that came unexpected, Niall was redder than he had been before probably, his words almost made no sense anymore as he tried to get them out as fast as possible. "Um, just because I… I never kissed anybody and… and I was wondering how it feels since forever, but I know you won't say yes, I just thought I'd-"

"Okay, come here." Liam was seconds from bursting out with laughter, somehow he felt excited about this, the fact that Niall was asking him to do this, he wasn't thinking anything of it really other than the fact that the boy was curious and that he himself wouldn't mind doing it if Niall was so keen on it, it was just a peck after all, nothing more.

"R-Really?" Niall's eyes went wide as he stared at Liam, who just chuckled, sitting up as well now to move his hands to Niall's face instead, cupping it gently as he smiled at him adoringly, though he would've never thought Niall was gonna ask him for this, it didn't seem too weird either, it fitted somehow, for Niall to be this curious in a situation with absolutely no relation to what he had just asked for, well maybe it had really been because of whatever had been on on the TV, Liam hadn't been watching, anyways, he was glad he was gonna be the one to do it, he didn't even wanna imagine innocent, little Niall being kissed by somebody else.

"Yeah, if you're sure you want me to do it… " Pausing to see Niall nodding his head a bit too fast and blushing even harder now, god he was so cute. "Alright then, if you're so curious, Ni."

Winking at the smaller boy had him looking down immediately while Liam just laughed softly, stroking the boy's cheek before deciding to just go for it seeing as Niall seemed as if he might die from nervousness before any of them even moved.

For Liam it was like, if you're a parent and you have kids and kiss them on the mouth, you don't think anything of it either, though the situation and all was a bit different, that's basically all he felt or thought about giving Niall a peck on the lips. A little longer maybe, but purely for demonstration purposes, he would've never agreed to go any further than this, it's just because it was such a simple thing and he didn't mind doing it, after all, he kissed Niall everywhere else as well. 

Of course, Niall's reaction was a whole lot different than Liam's as he leaned back again, slowly letting his hands sink from Niall's face, not being able to hold back his smirk when he saw the boy's wide eyes and more than just red cheeks. "Was it so bad?"

"N-No… I-I j-just….I-I…I-I s-shouldn't h-have… s-sorry…" Niall was at a loss of words obviously, looking anywhere but into Liam's eyes as he moved suddenly, causing the older boy to laugh even louder as he went to bring some distance between them, very obviously embarrassed about what he had asked for and the fact that Liam had actually agreed. But why wouldn't he, Niall had asked him to show him, besides, if someone did it then Liam was glad it was him, because at least that way Niall got kissed by someone who truly cared about him.

"Aw, come on, babe, it's okay, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, I can do it again if you want me to show you that I don't mind." That had Niall shaking his head rapidly, still with wide eyes, but at least he had stopped trying to flee from Liam, tensing up a bit now as the older boy wrapped his arms back around him to pull him back in. "What's the matter? Did I ruin your experience with kisses forever now?"

"N-No, I j-just… I l-liked i-it…. a bit…" Right, Liam almost tasted blood from how tightly he had to bite onto the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't burst out laughing, pulling Niall with him as he went to get into their previous half lying down position, brushing the boy's fringe out of his face.

"A bit, yeah? So I'm shit at kissing?" Of course he knew that it was mean to pretend as if he was mad, but he was just playfully teasing the boy a little, not loosening his arm around his waist in any way, trying to untangle the blanket again with only one hand.

"No! Um… I mean, no… that's not, um… what I meant, I was just…. I wanted… I-I mean-"

"It's okay, babes, I was just joking, you know me, don't worry about it, I told you you can ask me anything, didn't I? Come on, let's watch this to the end and then we should go get ready for bed, it's quite late." This was important, acting like nothing had happened, after all, it really was no big deal at all, Liam just kept on smiling at Niall, rubbing his back gently after he had pulled the blanket over them again, feeling the smaller boy relax a little bit.

"Okay…" Carefully, he threw another look at Liam before snuggling his head back down, against Liam's chest this time, his arm slowly coming up under the blanket then to lightly wrap around the older boy's stomach, holding onto his shirt a little like he did sometimes. "Thank you…"

"You're welcome, Ni." His hair was so soft, for some reason Liam couldn't even hold back for five seconds before already having his hand there again, gently thumbing at the boy's ear as they fell into silence again, not really watching the screen anyways, at least Liam knew that he wasn't, he was just taking in this moment, Niall's warmth that he felt through their clothes and that got caught under the blanket, his weight on top of him, the way they were pressed against one another, not talking but just knowing that the other enjoyed this just the same way. The fact that Liam could have this every day now was still overwhelming, but he'd gladly do this a hundred more times before he'd finally be able to believe it.

It was when Niall's breathing got more even and he stopped stirring sometimes that Liam knew he was falling asleep, he was so good at telling what was up with the boy by now, it was almost ridiculous. "Baby? You still awake?"

"Hmm…" Didn't sound like it, Liam suppressed his fond chuckle since Niall would've been disturbed by his chest moving, reaching over to the bedside table to get the remote and turn the TV and his lamp off, plunging them into silence as well as darkness. "Li…"

"I'm here, just go to sleep, alright? You're so tired and it's been a long day, you gotta rest a bit, Ni." Talking quietly and, what he hoped, calming, Liam moved them a little bit so he could tug Niall in better, one hand tightly around his waist, the other stroking his cheek gently before simply shielding the side of his face with it. "Sweet dreams, Ni, I'm gonna wait until you're asleep, okay?"

"'kay…Liam…" Though he didn't move much except for sometimes loosening and tightening his grip around the shirt, Niall still somehow managed to talk, even if it sounded as if he might pass out any second. "Can you… can you sing to me? I never heard you sing…"

Right, though Liam had promised he would do it, he had completely forgotten about it again, so who was he to deny Niall's wish really? It seemed to be a good timing as well to do this, after all that had happened today, Liam would gladly do everything the younger boy wanted. "Of course I can, but close your eyes, alright, and try to go to sleep, baby."

There was some sound of approval coming from Niall that had Liam squeezing him a little bit before thinking about how he'd even do this, or what he'd even sing to begin with, but he just settled for something random then that he thought would fit, not quite used to singing so quietly, almost whispering actually, he didn't even know if it was any good but Niall seemed to relax even more against him, nuzzling his face deeper into Liam, as if he truly was comforted by this. Something that made Liam pretty happy, he'd do this every single night, like kiss Niall goodnight and then sing to him, maybe they could keep doing that, it was nice to think about that this would become their new routine, Liam couldn't wait for all the days that were yet to come now that everything was settled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have noticed, I added yet another chapter, so it's 13 now, which is the number it's gonna say at now for sure as I have finally managed to finish writing the whole story tonight, yay!


	10. Chapter 10

"Niall, come on, babe, we gotta go." Liam couldn't help but chuckle at how captivated Niall was with pretty much everything that was just remotely worth looking at, and the way he wasn't turning his head away at Liam's voice, just slightly stretching his arm out towards the older boy, not shy anymore about the fact that he wanted to hold his hand. "What's so fascinating out there, huh?"

They were in a hotel, so Liam couldn't really understand the fascination of staring out the window for ten minutes straight, but he walked over to Niall then, readjusting the bag over his shoulder before intertwining his fingers with the younger boy's, they had done that so much during the last few weeks, Liam wasn't thinking anything of it anymore, though he was very well aware that there were tons of pictures now since they were on tour and not so invisible anymore, he didn't really care. Besides, even though he hadn't made any of this public and just told people the truth who he worked closely with, it was obvious that him and Niall weren't like, holding hands because they were dating, especially since Niall looked like he did, and it wasn't that Liam was vain or something, but their age gap seemed to be a lot bigger than it actually was whenever they were standing next to each other. Well, plus Liam had started feeling even more as if he had to take care of Niall now, which had seemed impossible before and he knew he was kinda losing it carrying around juice pouches for the boy, but hydration was important, wasn't it. "It's pretty."

Niall was admiring the view from up here, they had stayed on the top floor and he had been excited from beginning to end, though actually, Niall was excited about every single thing happening, like going on a plane first of all and then watching the concerts and sleeping in tour busses, he seemed to have a good time for which Liam was really grateful. The only thing maybe was that Niall was still incredibly shy if it came to people he didn't know, like, the boys were fine, and a few staff members he wasn't shaking around anymore at least, but everyone else was kinda freaking him out a little bit still. But that'd pass eventually, right? "Yeah it is, but you know, you've said that about every hotel we've been to."

"Because the views were pretty everywhere!" The boy's voice was so excited that Liam laughed softly, gently pulling him in a bit to press a kiss against the side of his head. 

"I bet you the next one will be even better." Even if it wasn't, Niall would have that same look on his face, the same fascination that he had had for everything that had happened so far, it was great to watch him, though even Liam wasn't used to it completely, Niall clearly had a much longer way to go. Not that it bothered anyone, quite the opposite actually, Niall really lifted the mood sometimes, because he was so cute and excited and Liam did notice that whenever Niall was around, even crew members would look at him with a smile on their face, how couldn't they have done that though, he was just a bundle of joy and happiness lately.

"That's not possible, Liam." That's what he always said just to be proven wrong, Liam just laughed again before pulling at Niall's hand softly, they should've been downstairs five minutes ago.

"We'll see, babe. Come on, we really gotta go, I promise you can sleep on a top bunk if we hurry up now." Well, that wouldn't be that much of a problem, they'd be on the bus with Zayn tonight and he literally wouldn't have complained if he had to sleep on the floor.

"Okay." Niall finally drew his eyes away then, smiling so brightly at Liam that the older boy's breath stopped for a second before he was able to return it, shortly pressing his lips to Niall's forehead because he couldn't resist, taking the younger boy with him on tour had been the best decision he had ever made.

Niall kept talking on as they walked down the hall and while they were in the elevator, that wasn't exactly new though, him being so talkative, it had started ever since they had been to the foster home, so Liam was pretty positive now that he really did have the boy's trust, after all, Niall wasn't even too embarrassed anymore to climb into Liam's bed at night, not even bothering to wake him beforehand. Which was completely alright, really, Niall could do whatever he pleased as long as he was happy and Liam was just glad to have him around, being able to witness the boy warming up and becoming more lively again, that's all he had ever wanted for Niall, to move on from the past because he trusted Liam enough to know he would never have to go back to it.

It was quite dark outside already, and cold as well, but Liam didn't mind having Niall pressed into his side for the short walk over to the bus, silently scolding himself for not making Niall wear thicker clothes, if it had gone after Liam, the boy would've been running around with cloves and a beanie 24/7. But he couldn't do that, he got made fun of already anyways, playfully only, and besides, it was the truth, Liam didn't care too much though, he rather was overprotective than risking something happening to Niall, no matter how silly it may be.

"Finally." Was all Zayn said as he walked past once they had gotten inside, not sounding too annoyed, he was simply stating the obvious, that they were always late, because they were, mostly because of Niall, but Liam usually took the blame automatically.

"It's only ten minutes, besides, we had to pack a bit more than you do." Since they were two people obviously, but the problem was, as neat as Liam tried to keep his stuff, Niall somehow always managed to make a hell of a mess with his, even after just one day, he did apologize for it but he was the worst at cleaning stuff up. So in the end, Liam would end up doing it so they'd be faster, not being able to even be mad for a second because Niall would try to help, with a pushed back bottom lip and a very guilty look on his face that had Liam wanting to pinch his cheeks.

"It's fine, Liam, I was just saying, I still rather am on the bus with you guys than have Harry and Louis trying to be quiet while they screw each other senseless." Right, Liam somehow automatically put his hands over Niall's ears at this, he didn't even know why, just because the boy looked so innocent didn't mean that he was completely clueless, because he was 17 for god's sake, yet still, Liam couldn't help doing it anyways. 

"Li, I'm not a baby!" Of course Niall complained a little and Zayn laughed, about to walk over to the TV probably just as Liam shrugged, letting his hands sink because the conversation seemed to be over anyways, he didn't even feel like defending his actions.

"Anyways, Niall, you wanna come play some Fifa?" Zayn was just casually asking because this was a thing, everyone rather played with Niall now than with Liam, because compared to him, Niall was actual competition, he was really good at this and it was fun to watch Niall's excitement whenever he won, always coming straight to Liam to tell him about it. 

"Yes! I-"

"Hey, hey, one second." Despite the boy's sparkling eyes and more than bright face, Liam still held his wrist to keep him from running off immediately, because he would have, even before Zayn. "You can go after you changed."

"Fine." Niall was pouting a little bit, but he didn't complain, he never did when Liam told him to do something, after all, he wasn't saying this to annoy him or anything, it was simply just because Niall tended to fall asleep everywhere and it'd be hard for Liam to change him by himself then while trying not to wake him later.

"I'll wait for you until you're allowed to come." Of course Zayn had to tease them a bit, but he ruffled Niall's hair while walking by, still chuckling as he went over to the other part of the bus, leaving them alone again.

For a second or two, Liam actually thought that Niall was mad at him now, which would be weird since he never got mad after incidents like this, but actually, the younger boy just yawned all of a sudden, taking his backpack that Liam had been carrying for him. "Can I borrow your shirt for bed?"

"We only got two here though and I can't fit into yours." But thinking about it while they walked to the bunks, Niall in front of him with Liam's hand staying securely on the boy's waist, why would Liam say no to seeing Niall in his clothes because of this? "But sure, you can, I'll just sleep shirtless."

"Okay, thank you." Niall seemed a little bit too thrilled by this idea but Liam brushed it off once they reached the bunks, throwing his bag onto the lower on, not surprised to see Niall going for the one on the top, but opposite of his, he always did that and Liam supposed it was because he could look down at him then if they didn't pull the curtains, but he had never asked about it. "When are we gonna be there tomorrow?"

"Um, in the morning, I don't know the exact time but we have this interview to do and it's pretty early." Handing the shirt over now after unpacking it, Liam studied Niall's face for a bit, feeling bad for having to leave the boy tomorrow, but then again, he wouldn't be gone for too long either and there were loads of people around who'd Niall could go to talk to meanwhile. The problem was, he never did that. "I'll just let you sleep, okay? I'll be back soon anyways and then we can go do something, I got nothing to do for the rest of the day."

"Okay…" Didn't sound too thrilled, but there was nothing Liam could've done to change that, he bit his bottom lip as Niall went to change his clothes, not scared anymore to just undress himself in front of Liam, slipping into his sweatpants then and making the older boy chuckle fondly as he put on the way too big shirt. "Don't laugh at me, Li, it's just about how comfortable it is not how it looks."

"I know, baby, it just looks really cute, you know? But you're cute in pretty much everything, so that's not exactly a surprise." Winking at him, Liam simply wrapped his arm around Niall's waist, laughing at his slightly pink cheeks and the yelp he let out for being pulled closer all of a sudden, or maybe it was the kiss Liam placed right on his nose. "You wanna go and kick Zayn's ass now?"

"Are you coming too?" Of course that was what he asked first, Liam just smiled adoringly at the boy, the way he leaned into him, one hand resting on Liam's chest and his bottom lip pushed back as he looked at him with big, blue eyes, almost causing Liam to screw whatever he had planned.

"I'll come in a few minutes, okay? I'll change and call my mum quickly, but I'm gonna hurry up, promise." He really had to call home tonight, he had promised, and besides, Niall's face wasn't too sad, he just nodded, about to walk away, well attempting to, because Liam just held on a little longer, running his fingers through the boy's hair softly. "Hey…"

"What?" Niall sounded a bit breathless, he was just staring now, making no attempts to move away though, not even when Liam chuckled almost right into his face before leaning in and placing a kiss to his cheek, holding him pressed closer into his body.

"I love you." He mumbled against the boy's skin, arm tight around Niall's waist, letting his lips slip then to peck his mouth shortly, something they had kept on doing since the day they had been at the foster home, usually whenever Liam said goodnight to Niall though, very rarely in between, but he had just felt like doing it, to give his words more meaning kinda. 

"I love you too…" No matter how many times they did and said that, Niall would still always blush, but he managed to smile as well, which Liam returned immediately, just happy to see his boy happy. 

"Alright, now off you go, Zayn's been waiting long enough." Letting go was hard somehow, like no matter how long the touches lasted, it never seemed to be quite enough, but Liam forced himself to do it then, giving Niall a small clap on his bum to get him going which had the younger yelping.

"Liam! Stop slapping my ass!" Laughing, Liam amusedly watched Niall's shocked face, it was probably only an act though, because as soon as he tickled the boy's sides a bit, barely touching him really, Niall broke out into giggles, suddenly very keen on getting away from him. 

"That's a very naughty word, Niall." No, Liam was not scolding Niall for cursing once a while, that would really cross lines, he just liked pretending that he did, still smiling though as Niall was walking off, looking over his shoulder to stick his tongue out towards Liam. Why was he so adorable in those too loose clothes and even the way that he walked, a little too clumsily, actually almost tripping over his own feet while Liam was still watching, he quickly turned away at that, pressing his lips together so Niall wouldn't get embarrassed at hearing him laugh. Now Liam really did regret having to call his mum, but he had promised her and actually the situation he was in now was quite funny, Liam used to get homesick the easiest, but now that Niall was with him, he seemed to rarely feel anything besides happy actually, which was a good thing, only right now, it got Liam in a conflict.

He still settled for calling anyways, changing his clothes before, well, actually half undressing himself and putting some sweatpants on since Niall had just walked off with his shirt before lying in his bunk, ignoring the urge to go cuddle up with Niall instead as he saw the background picture on his phone. That'd just have to be a very quick call. 

"How are you doing, love?" His mum already sounded close to tears the second she picked up, Liam suppressed a short laugh, letting his eyes fall shut for a moment as he felt the bus starting to move.

"I'm good, not doing anything right now. How are you, and dad?" Not asking for his sisters because Liam had already called them this morning, it seemed to be a family day or something, as much as he liked talking to them though, he would've rather been doing something else right now. Like, it wasn't that Liam was jealous if Niall spent time alone with Zayn, there was no reason to be, he would've just liked to be there as well.

"We're good, Liam. How's the little one?" Alright now, this had Liam smiling with closed eyes, his family really liked Niall, obviously, after finally growing the balls to tell his family the whole story, he had brought the boy home for Christmas like two months ago, because well, for one because he always went there for holidays and two, Niall hadn't celebrated it in quite a while so Liam figured that he wouldn't being there when his family went overboard like they always did. He hadn't minded at all, though he had been very shy at first, clinging to Liam for like a day or two and following him around the house like a puppy, he had even slept with Liam in his childhood bed before he warmed up a little bit to the rest of Liam's family, not as much as to the other boys, but it had been a beginning. 

"He's good too, he's playing Fifa with Zayn actually, we're on the bus." It wasn't a good idea to think back at Christmas now, but Liam did it anyways even if it complicated holding the conversation with his mum, but he always liked to remember Niall's happy and bright face because of the presents Liam had gotten. Or actually, because he had gotten him something at all. "Anything new?"

"There is actually, I wouldn't have called to tell you, but now that you asked…" Shit, Liam had asked kinda rhetorically, not really expecting his mother to suddenly sigh on the other side of the phone, usually they just talked about random stuff for ten minutes and then Liam made up an excuse to hang up because he wasn't really that interested in how long vacuum cleaning the living room had taken. 

"What is it?" Maybe it was nothing, maybe she was just exaggerating it or something, Liam sat up now, having to crouch down a bit on the edge of the bank because it wasn't that high.

"Well, you know when you told me about the fight you had with Sophia because of Niall, like two months ago?" That was hard to forget now was it? "Have you talked to her at all since then? Anything?"

"Um, no, why would I? She texted me a few times but I ignored it, I don't wanna talk to her right now." Preferably never again, great, now that the topic was on _her_ , Liam regretted this call more than ever, he even got up to walk up and down a bit because it got him so worked up, he hated being reminded of this problem that he still hadn't gotten rid of, he knew he had to do something, but it seemed easier to just pretend it didn't exist.

"I thought so… she called me, Liam, and she sounded pretty mad as well. Look, I'm not saying that you should make up with her, even if you know that I always liked her, but after what she has done, I understand you wanna ignore her. But still, honey, you gotta bring closure to this, just tell her if you don't wanna be with her anymore." That was easier said than done, Liam felt anger bubble up inside him, how dare Sophia call his family up and complain about him?! She was so immature, well, even if Liam had been the one to ignore her, but at least he had had a fucking good reason to!

"I… I will think about it." Without wanting to, shit, his whole night was ruined now, it just got Liam so mad every time thinking about what had happened, how Niall had run away and all that, sometimes he was awake at night watching the younger boy sleep while trying not to go insane with how angry he was at Sophia. Why hadn't he just straight up broken up with her at the spot, then he wouldn't have to worry about anything right now, or even have to make a decision.

"I just thought I should tell you, because she didn't sound very pleased and since she knows about the whole story with Niall… you know, I don't wanna accuse her of something, but I'm not sure if she would maybe make this public just because she's angry at you." Great. No, brilliant actually, Liam shouldn't have called, he had stopped walking now, just leaning his forehead against Niall's bunk, trying to breathe rather normally, which was hard because he wanted to punch something. 

"Yeah, I… I'm gonna talk to her." Or maybe not, Liam hadn't decided, he wouldn't care about the whole story coming out, he was just worried about Niall being confronted with it, for now they were doing an excellent job at passing him off as 'a friend of Liam's family's son who he had known since Niall had been a baby', people seemed to believe that, why make things complicated?

"Just do what you think is right, Liam." That was so not helpful at all, if it had gone after Liam, he would've hired someone to pay off Sophia to keep her mouth shut and never spoken to her or about hat topic again, but that probably wasn't the best decision. "Now tell me, how's everyone else doing?"

And just like that, they were at smalltalk, which was good because it didn't take too much thinking and Liam mostly listened, or pretended to because he was still stuck now trying to figure out what he should do regarding his (ex)girlfriend, all while nervously walking up and down, suppressing the urge to cut his mum off just to check on Niall.

Their conversation lasted about another 20 minutes, even if it was quite late already, Liam finally hung up then, telling his mum that he had to bring Niall to bed, which was a lie, but she found it so adorable that she understood instantly, which had been the point in saying it.

So afterwards, Liam just sat on his bunk again for a little while longer, burying his face in his hands in frustration, trying so hard to ban this from his mind now so the other two wouldn't notice once he went to the back of the bus. It didn't help much, fuck, why was this so hard? Liam knew that he had to talk to her, he also knew that their relationship was practically over, but he still didn't wanna actually say the words and he had no idea why, but he'd have to figure it out eventually, even if he didn't want to.

For now, Liam decided that that could wait, seeing Niall would make him feel better anyways and distract him so he left his phone on his bunk as he made his way to the big couch in the back, not bothering to knock on the door that connected different parts of the bus, they were just playing Fifa after all.

"… cheating the whole time, Niall, don't think I don't notice just because I don't comment it." Liam stopped for a second to take the sight in, immediately having to smile, see, that was why he had come, why he liked being around Niall so much, that boy was like the sun, radiating happiness.

They were on opposite ends of the couch, Zayn was sitting up, not looking even close to angry despite what he had just been saying, he wasn't someone to get mad or anything, he actually seemed to be seconds from laughing. Niall on the other hand was cuddling with a pillow on his lap, leaning against the back of the couch, legs up on the couch and crossed as he watched the screen with concentration, his tongue poking out a bit between his lips. "I'm not cheating."

"You sure are, been playing too much with Harry, haven't you?" Zayn laughed as Niall let out a huff then, apparently the game was over then because he dropped the controller next to him, frowning for a second before his eyes shifted and stopped at Liam, immediately, his whole face brightened up.

"Liam!" His excitement was the cutest thing in the world, he was about to jump up and he probably would've if Liam hadn't walked over immediately, smiling back, his worries from before fading a little bit.

"What's taken you so long back there? Niall was whining the whole time that you wouldn't come anymore." Knowing the younger boy, Zayn was probably speaking the truth, but Liam took his time to answer, he sat next to Niall first of all under the boy's mumbled 'I was just wondering where he was', not wasting any time before reaching out to grab his hips softly and pull him over into his lap, actually more taking Niall's seat instead in the process, the younger boy adjusting automatically. They had done this a lot of times but Liam never failed to notice how much he liked having Niall in his lap, wrapping both his arms around his stomach to press him back snugly into him, being sure that the younger boy was safe and alright in his embrace.

"I was talking to my mum, you know how she is, it can take a while." Rolling his eyes, Liam hoped to escape further questions, bringing his attention back to Niall then who had made himself comfortable in Liam's lap, smiling as the older kissed his cheek softly, his hands intertwined with Liam's over his stomach. "So, who won? Sounded like someone is not playing a 100% fair."

"Zayn won, and I did play fair or I wouldn't have lost." Sounded like it made sense, but Liam chuckled anyways about Niall's pouty face, pressing his lips against the boy's temple then before resting his cheek against his head, happy to feel Niall snuggling closer. "I want a rematch."

"Let's have one then before you fall asleep." Which was very likely considering the time and the fact that Niall was getting heavier already and more cuddly than he was during the day, it happened when he got sleepy, that he was clinging to Liam nonstop, it was the sweetest thing. 

The only downside to this was that Niall had to unfold his fingers from around Liam's and sit up a little bit straighter, but other than that, Liam had great fun watching them play for a while before deciding to be annoying and distracting Niall, like softly blowing onto the back of his neck unexpectedly and blowing raspberries into his skin until Niall was a giggling mess, making Liam smile as he tugged his chin over the boy's shoulder after kissing it, getting a warm feeling from how Niall immediately leaned his head against his. 

Of course, all that led to Niall losing another time, but he didn't seem to mind this much anymore, just dropping the controller next to them on the couch now before turning sideways until he could cuddle tighter against Liam, resting his head on the older boy's shoulder. "I give up, Zayn, but it's just because I'm tired and not because I'm bad at it."

"Of course not, I wouldn't have expected anything else, Niall." Zayn and Liam shared a look, almost laughing then, not _about_ Niall but rather because of how adorable he was, but Zayn looked away then before it could happen, just smiling before getting up to go search for the remote to switch the channel.

"Good…" Niall mumbled against Liam's bare shoulder, bringing a hand up to play with the hair in the back of his neck, giving Liam a few goosebumps because of how cold the boy's fingers were, he always seemed to be freezing.

Just to check whether he was being this cold in general, Liam wrapped one arm around Niall's shoulders to support him, searching for Niall's free hand then with his to rub his fingers with his thumb gently, they had much the same low temperature, maybe that was another reason why Niall wanted to snuggle so close. "You're freezing, Ni, do you need a blanket?"

"No… 'm good." Obviously not, he just didn't want to move, or have Liam going anywhere, the older boy gave in momentarily, rubbing Niall's arm for a while, absently watching whatever Zayn had switched to before, resting his cheek against the boy's soft hair.

"Maybe a bed then?" Probably, it was almost midnight by now, ever since tour had started Liam had started staying up longer which had effected Niall as well, but that was still late for him somehow, it was actually a miracle that he hadn't passed out yet, but he seemed to be seconds away from it anyways, curling up even more in Liam's lap so he decided to just make the decision himself. "Come on, you need your sleep, babe, I'll bring you."

Since there was no complainant coming from the younger boy, only a slight sigh leaving his mouth as he sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles like a child as he always did while yawning a little bit, almost having Liam coo at him but he settled for keeping the blonde fringe out of his face instead. "I'm not even tired yet though."

"Yeah, and I'm totally blind, right?" Liam actually had to chuckle as he moved, almost forcing Niall to get up then because he did as well, keeping his hands on the other boy though so he wouldn't fall or anything, you never knew with him being so clumsy. 

"You'll see, I-" This time, Niall was actually interrupted by another yawn, giving Liam the urge to pick him up, but he just wrapped his arm around his shoulders then to pull him in closer as Niall carried on talking as if nothing had happened. "-won't be able to sleep in, I'll just lie awake."

"Mhm." There probably was a reason why he didn't wanna go to bed, Liam had yet to figure that out, but he probably wouldn't with Zayn being in here as well, though he wasn't paying the slightest attention to them. "I will gladly discuss this with you once you're under the blanket, okay?"

"Okay… " Niall shrugged a bit, leaning more into Liam before suddenly turning his head around, brushing the older boy's arm still around him. "Night, Zayn. I'll beat you next time."

"I highly doubt that, sleep tight." A chuckle from the dark haired boy almost had Niall complaining if Liam hadn't kept pulling him along softly until they were out of sight, as happy as he was with them getting along, he couldn't allow this now when Niall was so close to falling asleep while standing.

"I'm actually a lot better than him, I let him win because he already lost to Louis yesterday." Impressive, how he was still coming up with lies as they reached the bunks once again and Liam reached out to throw the blanket back in Niall's, keeping his hand against the small of the boy's back before checking his face, he looked sleepy, but also kinda determined to convince Liam that he was actually good at this game, as if Liam cared, but he felt a little bad now, because Niall seemed to really wanting to convince him.

"Well, then I'm sure Zayn appreciates it, babe, even if it totally doesn't matter because look at me, the only time I played I lost 15 times in a row." And that wasn't even an understatement, he was just trying to make Niall feel better though, smiling down at him before petting the mattress. "Can you get up there alone? I'll hold you, alright?"

Usually he was really good at it, but not when he was tired, Niall just sighed a bit before nodding, probably still bothered because of the game, but he attempted getting into his bunk anyways, with Liam holding his hips, having to actually use a bit of strength to help Niall pulling himself up, moving around a bit then to get more comfortable while Liam went to cover him with he blanket. "I'm really not that tired, you know."

"How about you close your eyes and just try to fall asleep for a little bit? Maybe it'll work." It wouldn't, if Niall kept telling himself he didn't want to then of course he'd stay awake, but Liam would just keep on staying here to check. 

"I know it won't." He had turned onto his side now, one hand folded under his cheek, the other reaching out for Liam very obviously, he took it slowly into his, pressing a few kisses onto the back and the fingers because they were still cold.

"What's the matter, huh? Why don't you wanna go to sleep, Ni? It's really late already, usually you're out like a light by that time." Unless, of course… unless he didn't want to because Liam wouldn't be there tomorrow when he woke up, but that'd be really vain to think so he told himself that couldn't be the reason, even if Niall's face turned a bit red and he looked down, shrugging barely noticeable.

"Nothing's wrong… I just… don't wanna sleep now." Right, there really was no other explanation for this than the damn interview Liam had tomorrow, he sighed a bit at that realization, even if it caused him to feel warmer as well, knowing that Niall needed him so much, looking even smaller now all cuddled up and tugged him, the idea Liam had suddenly had became even more appealing the longer he looked at the boy.

"You want me to lie down with you? Maybe it'll help." Actually, Liam didn't really wait for an answer as he already let go of Niall's hand just as the blonde lifted his head a little bit.

"Okay…" That clearly was a yes, for which Liam was very happy, he actually really wanted to squeeze into this small bunk with Niall right now, cuddle him to death because they hadn't had much time to do that today.

So Liam quickly went to turn off the lights, still seeing enough because there was a window almost right next to him. "Don't move too much now, okay?"

Niall immediately nodded, making himself a little smaller, he seemed pretty eager for Liam to get in here and the older boy felt much the same now, still having a hard time then trying to climb over Niall without hurting him to get into the space between the younger boy and the wall, somehow even managing to cover himself with the blanket as well and snaking an arm around Niall's waist to spoon him from behind, pulling him back a little against his chest. 

"Can you reach the curtain? Or do you want it to stay open?" Sometimes he didn't like it pulled because it made everything pretty dark, but tonight, Niall didn't even answer before moving a bit to pull it shut, only leaving a tiny crack of light before settling back down, letting out a content sigh. "You having enough space, Ni? Is this okay?"

"Yeah… I like it…and you're really warm." His voice was very quiet, thick with sleep already, but despite that and the tiny space, Niall still somehow managed to turn around to face Liam even if not much more than his feature were visible in the darkness, which maybe helped Niall to overcome his nervousness and ask whatever had been on his mind. "Liam… can I, um… have a kiss?"

God, how could Liam have forgotten about that?! Of course the boy needed his goodnight kiss, he tightened his arm still around Niall a bit before leaning closer, aiming for the boy's lips but only awkwardly kissing the bridge of his nose then, getting a very sweet and sleepy giggle before trying again, with success this time. "Sorry, I almost forgot, babe."

"It's okay…" He seemed to feel better now at least, luckily, because he snuggled closer into Liam right afterwards, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and inhaling quietly but Liam still noticed, tugging his chin over Niall's head in return, rubbing his hand between the boy's shoulder blades. 

"Think you can try and go to sleep now, baby? I'm here, alright? No matter what happens, and if you can't fall asleep then we can just talk or something, but you gotta try it a bit at first." Considering all the yaws from before and how quiet his voice had gotten, Niall was probably going to fall asleep any second anyways, thinking about that had Liam realizing that there was no way he'd get out of here again. Maybe he didn't even want to, it was so nice and warm here, so quiet except for Niall's breathing, his chest moving evenly against Liam and his hot breath hitting his bare skin, something he had gotten more than used to by now, all of this combined making him sleepy as well. "I can also stay here if you want me to, for the whole night I mean."

"Yes, please…" Aw, he was still so polite despite the yaw that escaped him right after while trying to press closer into Liam, not being able to though because there wasn't any space between them anymore to be closed. So to make up for it, Liam tangled their legs together, knowing that Niall didn't mind, but he wouldn't have dared to do it himself.

"Of course, love. Now keep your eyes closed, okay? I'm here and I won't go away, and if you wake up tomorrow then I'll be back soon as well and we'll do whatever you feel like, alright? I promise, Ni. I love you so, so, so much, baby." More, Liam cared so much it was insane, he only knew the boy since a few months and he already loved him more than anything else in the world.

Apparently, Niall felt quite the same as he mumbled against Liam's skin. "I love you more…"

"No, you don't silly, that's not even possible." Liam's stomach felt all warm and humble now, he lightly poked Niall into his ribs for that, getting a little yelp that had him chuckling softly as he kissed the top of Niall's head, keeping is face buried in the boy's hair afterwards. "Go to sleep now, Ni, we can agree that we love each other equally if you want to."

"Yeah… that sounds good…" His voice sounded more like a breath now, a sign for Liam to shut his mouth finally, he considered asking Niall if he wanted him to sing to him because sometimes it helped him to fall asleep, but he didn't then because he had a feeling that Niall would be out any second anyways.

This is what Liam loved the most, just holding Niall in his arms, not really worrying about anything else in the world because all his problems seemed to fade when he was with the boy, like, not even the conversation with his mum got him really worked up now, he just felt at ease and there was no one else in the world who had ever managed to make him feel this way except for Niall.

 

—————

 

Liam felt fidgety during the interview, that was really the only downside to all of this, he got nervous whenever Niall wasn't around or within his reach, constantly worrying about it even though he was pretty sure that the boy would be just fine, lonely probably, but only because he always rather waited for Liam than doing something else, Liam had even written him a note that he could go down to the pool with Lou and Lux and maybe their band was there too he wasn't sure, but Liam was 99% certain that Niall wasn't going to do it anyways.

This morning had been rather tough, they had gotten to the hotel at 7am and Liam had decided that he rather carried Niall up to the hotel room than leaving him asleep and alone on the bus, even if getting out of the bunk without waking him had already been a challenge itself, also for Liam's well being, because the boy was clinging to him so desperately even in his sleep that Liam got a heartache slipping out of the bunk.

But he had to anyways, to get some stuff up to the room before coming back for Niall, who had turned onto his stomach by that time with he blanket half falling off, making it even harder for Liam to get him down, so he did try waking him up, stroking his back softly and whispering his name, but the boy let out a whimper then, quickly getting Liam to change his mind.

In the end, Zayn had to come and help him even if that wasn't even the hardest part of the whole process, at least not physically, because that was once Liam had carefully put the boy into any of the beds in their hotel room, tugging him in before remaining on the edge for a little while to just watch him, make sure he was still deeply asleep so maybe he wouldn't notice Liam's absence too much. 

So that was pretty much the image he had had stuck in his mind since forcing himself to get up and leave because he'd run late otherwise, of Niall cuddled up in bed looking like a baby and knowing that he had left him, what a great way to start the day. 

"Li, there's no point in running back to the van as if the devil is after you, you're still gonna have to wait for all of us and Louis is having a wee." Those were the times when Liam felt like strangling one of his bandmates, but he did slow down then so Harry could catch up, already having completely forgotten about the interview even though it had only been 10 minutes ago, he just wanted to get back to the hotel. 

"He's been having a wee since forever, does your boyfriend have bladder problems? Because if so I would-"

"No need to get angry, Payno, we'll be back in like half an hour, think you can manage not seeing your boy until then?" No, Liam could not manage, he just glared at Harry's stupid smirk, brushing his arm off that had wrapped around his shoulders.

"I just don't like leaving him alone is all, besides, I promised him we'd do something today." Not much probably, but Liam was fine with it if it was just ordering room service and lying in bed, he was absolutely knackered after all those short nights and Niall was not the only one who liked cuddles when he was sleepy.

"Oh, well you guys can come over to our room, I doubt we can go anywhere, the driver almost ran over 10 girls before we got here." For a second, Liam thought Harry would start laughing at this, he didn't though, even if it had obviously been a joke. "Anyways, think about it, but text me before alright, so we can get dressed and won't mess with Niall's innocence."

"And mine is not important?" Liam was joking, but then again he wasn't, because that topic brought back some not so pleasing memories of times when he hadn't texted Harry before going into his and Louis' room.

"Come on, you're anything besides that, Liam, remember the first time you brought Sophia on tour last time and-"

"Right." Why was everyone so keen on talking about her?!

"I was just saying. How is she, by the way? You know, not that I care, but have you talked to her ever again or something? She's so insane, she might sell the whole story to some shitty magazine just because she's pissed at you." The sad thing was, after everything that had happened, Liam could picture her doing that, and obviously everyone else could as well seeing as his mother had already told him the same thing.

"I haven't talked to her since then, look I… I really don't feel like discussing this, alright? I'll call her eventually or something, just… just don't say anything about this in front of Niall, okay? It'll get him worked up for nothing, I don't want that, he's been so happy lately." Talking about him made Liam a lot calmer, he could've gushed about Niall the whole day long to be honest, like a proud parent or something, it was weird but that's just how he felt.

Luckily Harry understood the situation, they were climbing into the van now where Liam noticed that Zayn was already seated luckily, so now they only had to wait for Louis before he could go see Niall. "That's true, remember when he first met us and he was so shy you had to force him to even look at us? And now he's like this, it's amazing actually, didn't know I could find him even cuter than in the beginning." 

"He still likes me more than you." For some reason this slipped out of Liam's mouth automatically, causing both Harry and Zayn to laugh but he couldn't help getting possessive when it came to Niall.

"We'll see about that when I let him have all the snacks in our mini bar." Harry obviously thought this was a game, so Liam tried to keep calm, all he had wanted was a confirmation actually.

"He can have all the snacks in my mini bar as well, that's nothing special." Liam almost snapped, well aware that the other two were smirking at him while he just stared out of the window, relieved to see Louis coming outside the building, as slowly as ever though, as if he was doing it on purpose.

"Well, then I'll let him have the beer too." Alright, that was really crossing lines now, Liam turned his head, mouth open to scold Harry for even just getting ideas like this, but he got interrupted by their fourth bandmate dropping into a free seat next to his boyfriend, looking each of them in the face.

"What's gotten Liam so worked up? Wait, let me guess, are we talking about Niall?" That didn't mean anything, the fact that Louis just simply guessed it at the first try, that had just been luck not because it had happened so often. 

"Yeah, I told Liam I would start feeding him beer and now he's exploding internally or something. But he's 17, he could drink beer if he wanted to." Legally, yes, but luckily Liam had a say in this as well.

"No, he can't if I say no, I'm his legal guardian." And the best thing was that this was completely true and it made Liam really proud to say even if the others rolled their eyes at him, saying something like 'only for a few more months though' which was true but Liam would keep babying Niall for as long the boy let him and as things were now, that seemed to be for a very long time.

They changed the topic then, because Liam was clearly not having any jokes if it was about Niall, you'd think they knew that by now but they didn't apparently, because they even tried to still talk to him once they got back to the hotel, what were they thinking, that he'd have a chat with them, NOW?! "Li, don't forgot to text me!"

Right, Liam just waved over his shoulder, half jogging to the elevator actually, they were once again on the top floor, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that Liam had requested it, just for Niall, because he knew how much the boy liked to look outside the window and have a great view. God, he was so freaking adorable, Liam would literally do anything for him, even half pushing past other hotel guests to get to their room quicker, already fumbling with the room card in his pocket when he was still a whole hallway away, that's how fucking anxious he was.

It wasn't that Liam was still worried about Niall running away, he wouldn't do it, especially not in another country, it's just that Liam felt really bad, because he was supposed to take care of the boy but he always had to leave for things like today. Concerts were alright though, sometimes Niall would watch or he'd wait backstage because he was too tired, more often than not Liam would find him deep asleep once he got off stage, which was fine, better than if he were awake waiting for Liam like he was most likely right now.

"I'm back!" Liam hadn't even fully opened the door before already speaking up, he just felt too excited to hold back anymore, not bothering to take his shoes off or whatever before fully pushing himself into the room, well, one of the rooms because they usually had more than one, hearing the door falling closed again behind him. 

All the guilt and anxiety fell off of him at once as he saw Niall, awake and alright as it seemed like, he was on his stomach on the bed watching TV with some sweatpants on that maybe even belonged to Liam and a shirt the older boy had bought him when they had been in Paris a few days ago. Why was he so cute, even while doing nothing at all?

Immediately at seeing Liam, Niall's rather bored face brightened up and he pushed himself into a sitting position, infecting the older boy with his smile as he walked over, already stretching his arms out towards him without even thinking about it. But they always hugged as if they hadn't seen each other in days, so that was nothing knew. "Hey, baby."

"Hey, I didn't think you'd come back for a while." But Niall seemed so happy to see him, he got up completely now, so that he was standing on the bed now which made him taller than Liam as he wrapped his arms around the older boy's neck, giggling as Liam's curled around his waist in return, holding on tightly enough so that he could step back while still holding Niall, having the boy's legs around him as well to cling to him. 

"We didn't have as much to do as I thought we would, I would've been earlier if Louis hadn't wasted so much time having a wee, you know." Liam purely talked about this because he had known it would make the boy laugh, into his neck because that's where he had his head, buried in between his own arm and Liam's shoulder. "So, what've you been doing, babe? Did you read my note?"

"Yeah, I did… but I stayed here and watched some TV, I… I didn't feel like going to the pool, you know…" Of course not, Liam tried not to sigh as he turned his head to kiss Niall's ear, going to sit on the bed now so that Niall was automatically straddling his lap, neither of them letting go though. 

"It was just an option anyways, besides, I'm here now anyways so we can do whatever you want, I got the whole rest of the day free just for you." Hopefully Niall was as excited about this as Liam was, he seemed to be because he lifted his head now to look at the older boy, his hair all messy, still from sleep probably, but his face was happy as ever, he barely even blushed when Liam pecked his mouth shortly, just because he had missed him a lot. "So, any requests? Or should we just go order room service and then lie in bed, because that seems to be a very appealing option to me."

"Yeah, to me as well." Anything that involved cuddling was Niall's favorite thing to do and it made Liam laugh because of how ridiculously happy he got at just the thought of it.

His hands were still very secure on Niall's waist, plus the boy was holding on rather tightly to him (like always), so Liam didn't see a problem letting himself fall back onto the bed, making Niall gasp in surprise, but it felt nice once the shock was over, their bodies pressing together like this and their faces so close, Liam almost felt Niall's breath against his skin. "Sorry for scaring you."

"It's okay, Li, no worries." Though he did sound a bit breathless, Niall seemed to enjoy this as well, he leaned into Liam's hand as the older boy moved it up to cup Niall's cheek softly, their chests moving against the other and Liam could feel the boy's heartbeat slowing down again. "Liam…"

First, Liam thought Niall was just mumbling his name because he wanted to do it, but then he realized he had been running his thumb over the boy's pink bottom lip and maybe that's what had caused him to not talk on, cheeks going a bit red. "Yes?"

"Um… can I ask you something? And… and you answer honestly?" Alright, that did spark Liam's interest as well as his worry, but he just nodded anyways as far as that was possible, moving on to playing with the hair behind Niall's ear instead as he felt him tensing up a bit, looking away from Liam's face. "Do you think… do you think I should like, finish school?"

Oh, well that had been unexpected, Liam was about to answer without thinking about it, his standard answer, but then he remembered that Niall probably wanted him to consider it for a moment first because he seemed to be so serious about it, so that's what he did before deciding to answer, his words picked a bit more carefully as he carried on the stroking. "You can if you want to, it wouldn't be a problem, we could get you a teacher to come along on tour, but you don't have to. I don't think it's necessary, but it's up to you, babe. Why are you even asking me this?"

"It's just because um… well, you know that I trust you and all, right?" Alright, this was not going into Liam's favorite direction, even if he liked hearing this, but still, the breath Niall took afterwards was really deep, plus he was still refusing to look anywhere else besides Liam's throat. "I just… feel a bit useless. I mean, I… I should be doing something as well, and what if I get older and then… then I can never have a job because I didn't finish school and I know you always say I shouldn't worry about it, but… but it makes me feel bad that you have to pay everything for me and I… I don't know…"

This was something Liam had expected to come up sooner or later, it reminded him of when he had had this talk with Louis, how he had told him that he'd find Niall to go do something on tour and that he'd just pay him himself then without telling him, maybe he should really start doing that. 

Because on one hand, Liam wanted to tell him that it was fine, that he didn't need to worry, but he knew that that wasn't Niall's concern and he did understand what this was about, he would feel useless too, if he always had to take money from someone else, even if Liam loved spending money on the boy, but he got the point, he definitely had to give him something to do, maybe then Niall also wouldn't be so shy around everyone else anymore.

"I can find you some job to do on tour if you want to, Niall, or a teacher as well, or even both if you want that, it's not a problem. Look, I know I'm always saying that I'd buy you anything you want, and I would, but I also get what you're saying and we'll figure this out, okay? The last thing I want is for you to feel useless, because you're not, and even though I really love spending my money on you, I really do, I know what you mean and I'll think about what to do, alright?" That was the least Liam could do, he didn't want Niall to feel this way and he knew how uncomfortable it must be if you were this depended on someone, even if he wished the younger boy wouldn't feel this way because he really didn't have to, but he seemed very relieved now after what Liam had said, nodding quickly.

"Okay, thank you, Li, I really do trust you, please don't think that I don't, that's not what I meant." A short laugh escaped Liam at that, but only because Niall was so cute being all concerned that he may have made Liam feel bad and he moved his hand to pull the boy's head down a little bit until he could kiss his forehead softly, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone afterwards.

"I know you do, love, it's okay, I know what you mean, alright? We'll figure this out soon, I promise." Liam would just go and talk to the boys maybe once he had the chance, but for now he really didn't wanna think about how much time with Niall he'd have to give up if the boy really did get a teacher or something, he just wanted to enjoy their free day. "Okay, are you hungry? Because I'm starving."

The fact that Niall's stomach growled before he could answer was enough for Liam to laugh softly and get them into a sitting position again, having Niall move off of him for a second, but only enough for Liam to reach the phone on the bedside table, the boy was snuggled into his lap again before the man at the receptionist had even picked up. 

They got loads of stuff, really unhealthy too, but Liam didn't care, he just wanted to make sure there was at least something Niall would like because he knew the boy wouldn't tell him if he didn't, as much as he had calmed down about a lot of things, food was still somehow a different topic. It was like, Niall always felt obliged to eat everything that was put in front of him because he wasn't used to having a choice, or to be picky in any way, which was also why Liam had to sometimes stop him if Niall ate way too much just so they wouldn't have to throw it away, and reassure him that he could have something else later if he got hungry again. Things like that hurt Liam, because they reminded him that Niall had been living on the streets by himself way longer than he had been with Liam, he could only hope that at some point the blonde boy would stop losing his fears, he was already getting a lot better every day and Liam loved him the same regardless, he was just curious to knowing how the boy would've been like if none of those bad things had happened to him.

 

————————

 

"… and Liam said you can't have any beer because he's your dad and he said no." It was always fun to have the others over late at night, or actually not at all because the amounts of times Liam had had to glare at Louis and Harry in the last hour was pretty worrying. 

"I didn't say that I'm his dad, and anyways, if you really wanted to, Niall, I would let you, but there's no reason to and I'm just trying to do what's best for you." Liam couldn't help but sound really genuine despite the fact that Harry had probably been joking anyways because he bursted out laughing at this, bumping his elbow into Louis' ribs to get him to join probably.

"I know, I don't want to anyways." That was the nice thing, Niall was always on Liam's side, _always_ , whenever there was the slightest banter or anything, the younger boy would never even laugh if it was against Liam, even if they were joking around, he'd just go and hug him instead and it made Liam's heart swell with so much love every time that he thought he'd explode.

"You already infected him, Liam, he's going to be just like you." Which was actually a funny thing to say because Liam had gone out quite a lot before, but now that he had Niall, he rather stayed with him at night, made sure to put him to bed at a proper time be there in case he woke up or had nightmares and needed a cuddle. "Anyways, where's the remote? I can't watch this anymore, my ears are already bleeding."

They were all on the bed except for Harry, Zayn had been here as well but he had left a few minutes ago, so now it was just Liam and Louis sitting up and leaning against the headboard, Harry on the armchair next to the bed, which he had put there even under Liam's protests, just so he could put his feet up on the mattress to bump them into Louis'. Well, and Niall was half lying in Liam's lap, who had his legs crossed just for that purpose, with his head in the crook of Liam's arm and their fingers intertwined over his chest, he seemed to be pretty comfortable this way, and though Liam couldn't really press kisses everywhere into his face like he usually did, he could at least hold the boy's hands in his. "What about a horror movie?"

"No." Liam spoke without thinking about it, but he had thrown a look at the clock and decided that there wasn't enough time to both watch the movie and try to calm Niall down afterwards, because that's what had happened last week.

"Why not? It's more like a comedy anyways." Louis just kept zipping through the channels though, but he'd probably get back to the movie then if he didn't find anything else, Liam had to stop him. 

"It's the Exorcist, Lou." And they had watched it about a year and a half ago and Liam could very well remember wanting to empty his stomach into the toilet afterwards, so he was kinda glad now, that he had a very cuddly and small Niall here that he could pretend was the reason why he didn't want them to watch it.

"A comedy, just like I said, and it's a classic too, everyone should at least watch it once." He was still busy looking for something else though, so Liam kept holding Niall's hands instead of reaching over, rubbing his thumb along Niall's and feeling him turning his head a bit, pressing it into Liam's arm, just lightly brushing his lips over the skin there, but it was enough to give the older boy goosebumps which he pretended not to notice.

"You can watch it over in your own room, but we definitely are not gonna watch it here or I'll kick you out if you leave it on." Because even just the memory had Liam's stomach rebelling a little bit, and how embarrassing would that be now?

"Alright, alright, calm down. But don't think I don't know that it's not because of Niall, I know you're just scared yourself, I bet Niall could take it." Unsurprisingly, Harry started laughing from his place on the chair and Louis threw a grin at Liam that he tried to ignore yet still saw from the corners of his eyes, feeling some blush creeping into his face. 

Before Liam could say something to defend himself, Niall had suddenly pulled his hands from Liam's, attempting to sit up now, his face looking rather sleepy as he moved to fully sit in Liam's lap instead, wrapping his arms around the older's neck immediately, pressing a kiss to his cheek that clearly showed that he was too tired to be embarrassed about that or what he said then, actually mumbled kind of. "I couldn't take it, actually. And it's okay if you don't either, Li, I still love you."

That's what Liam meant with alway having Niall's support, because he did, and it worked the other way around as well, something that made Liam ridiculously happy, immediately forgetting to be mad at Louis or whatever, he just tightly wrapped the small boy up in his arms, kissing him right above his eyebrow. "I love you too, baby boy."

"You guys are sickenly cute, we don't even need to watch a horror movie anymore." Not bothering to get angry at the other two laughing, Liam made sure instead that he could pull up the blanket a little bit as Niall snuggled his head down onto his shoulder, letting out a quiet sigh escape then before tightening his arms impossibly much. 

"See, that's the difference between you two and us, because you're just making me sick without the cute." Liam almost laughed over his own joke like he sometimes did, but he held back then because he knew Niall would feel the vibrations going through his body since he was so close to him. 

"Right, Liam, of course, please just stay in your delusional world if you like it there. I feel a bit sorry for Niall though, since he's stuck with you." It was just banter of course, not that Liam cared, he had his baby in his lap to cuddle with, what else could he have asked for.

"I like it…" Niall mumbled barely audible, making Liam grin proudly at Louis who just grunted without paying attention, still zapping through the channels.

"Even worse." Yet still, Liam didn't fail to notice the smile Louis threw at Niall, it was a sweet one, because despite the jokes the others made all the time, they still all loved Niall, it was impossible not to, which was very calming for Liam, to know that there'd always be someone willing to help the boy if he for some reason couldn't do it.

The others stayed for like another hour, even though Niall passed out after thirty minutes of Louis settling for leaving on some boring as fuck soap, which was way better than the horror movie, so Liam tried to pretend as if though he was very interested, but only because it was very harmless. When he couldn't take it any longer, he used the excuse of having to bring Niall to bed, they had another bedroom as usual in hotels, and even though Liam hated doing this right now because he absolutely loved having the boy sleep on his lap, he still tried really hard not to stay seated on the edge of his bed after giving him a kiss despite the fact that he was asleep, but Liam felt as if Niall wasn't the only one who needed Liam to do this every single night, immediately pushing that thought into the back of his mind though.

When he came back, the TV was turned off and the other two were actually up on their feet, talking, actually whispering, about something that caused both of them to giggle and had Liam feeling instant relief knowing that they were about to leave and that he wouldn't have to become witness of whatever was certainly going to happen soon. Thank god their room was ten doors away. "You leaving?"

"Yeah, it's late and… I gotta tell Louis something very important, if you understand what I mean." Again, they laughed, Harry had his arm around his boyfriend, acting a little bit like he did when he was drunk. They really needed to get out of here quickly.

"I don't." Liam simply stated before clearing his throat and going for the door himself to hold it open for them, quickening up the process a little bit. "Anyways, goodnight, guys."

"Come on, Payno, don't be like that, why are you so scared of talking about our sex life with us?" Immediately after Louis had said that, Harry was a laughing mess, he was so loud in fact that Liam had to shush him down, the door to Niall's room was not that thick. 

"Maybe because I'm tired and I'm not too fond of nightmares." Ugh, it brought up memories to talk about things like that, Liam quickly tried to think of something else, for example how nice it would've been if he would've asked Niall to sleep in his bed tonight, but they couldn't always do that, could they? "Hey, guys, can you be normal for a second or so?"

"Sure, what's up, daddy?" Great, this was not the reference to his daddy kink that every single fan in the world seemed to think Liam had, this was about the way he treated Niall and obviously it was everyone's most favorite nickname for him all of a sudden.

"I mean, SERIOUSLY, for one minute?" They looked like they were about to burst out laughing while still holding onto each other, but they nodded anyways, causing Liam to sigh frustratedly as he ran his fingers through his short hair. "Okay, look, I gotta find something to do for Niall on tour, and maybe I'll get him a teacher too but we still gotta talk about it, so if you guys have any ideas tell me, okay? It's because he feels bad about me always paying stuff for him and he's not doing anything, I mean I told him he doesn't have to feel bad but I get what he's saying. So please?"

"Sure thing, Li, we could let him work with Lou and have him do Zayn's hair every single night." Alright, that was kind of funny, Liam felt the corners of his mouth twitch a little bit despite how hard he tried not to smile right now to not encourage Harry to make more dumb jokes.

"Yeah, something like that, but maybe it can involve that we're not suddenly only gonna be only three people in this band?" Zayn would have probably taken this with humor, if they actually did that, but Liam was trying to be funny, which he wasn't, the only person who ever laughed at his jokes was Niall.

"Yeah, we'll find something, don't worry. You should talk to Paul or so as well, maybe there's a job free as your own personal fanboy, Niall has all the qualifications and the experience already." Alright.

"Good idea, well, goodnight guys, I'm really tired, I gotta go to bed." Liam forced himself to yawn, which none of the other two noticed though because they were still laughing but finally walking out into the hallway, Louis even waved over his shoulder which Liam barely saw because he had already half shut the door before letting a sigh escape. Sometime his friends were very hard to love.

Now that everyone was either gone or asleep, Liam had nothing to do anymore really, he cleaned the room up a bit, brushed his teeth and wasted time before going to lie in his bed after turning the lights off and tilting the window a little, liking the fact that he could hear the rain outside, it sounded pretty heavy, almost as if it was going to start to storm.

The reason why Liam had wasted so much time going to bed was because he knew that as soon as he closed his eyes, he would start thinking about last night again, and the talk he had had with Harry earlier. He knew that he and Sophia had some things to sort out, but Liam really didn't want to even think about her to be honest, at this point, he wished that he would've never even met her, purely so he wouldn't have to say the words now and break up with her.

Sure, Liam had loved her for a really long time, but they had been fighting a lot, even before Niall, and now this had crossed the lines, but still, Liam wasn't the type of person who could break up with people, he just hated making anybody sad, well, she probably would yet at him instead but still.

The next problem was that if Liam just continued ignoring her and her calls, there was a possibility that she would really go and make all of this public, but even worse, she'd probably twist the whole story around, maybe make Liam look bad, which would be fine, but if she said something about Niall then he would go nuts and kill her or something. Maybe a talk would be easier after all.

An hour passed by of Liam turning around in bed, not being able to find any rest or a solution, he was seconds away from going over into Niall's room, somehow hoping that looking at the boy, maybe lying down a bit with him, would help him to get sleepier, but it turned out to be unnecessary.

The room was pretty dark, which was why Liam couldn't really see as he heard the door open, thinking about saying something but he settled for waiting then, faintly hearing the younger boy moving around in darkness, one time letting some breath escape since he had probably half fallen over some furniture, almost making Liam laugh before calming down once he realized that Niall wasn't about to crawl into his bed, he was actually heading for the bathroom. 

If Liam hadn't been wide awake, he would've woken up now hearing Niall through the wall, first using the toilet and flushing and then dropping a bottle of soap on the floor while the water was running, some curse leaving his mouth that had Liam grinning into the darkness as he waited silently. There was no person alive clumsier than Niall and it was the most adorable thing in the entire world.

As the bathroom door opened again, Niall obviously tried to be a lot quieter and more careful, his silhouette had barely moved when Liam already decided to speak up, throwing his blanket back. "Niall."

"Sorry for waking you, Li." He was whispering, barely audible because of the rain, but it was so thoughtful of him that Liam's heart ached. 

"You didn't wake me, I couldn't fall asleep. Come here, baby." There was no need to ask, Niall was already climbing into the bed five seconds later without even answering, settling down with his head on Liam's arm and his back flush against Liam's chest while the older boy wrapped the blanket around the both of them, curling his free arm around Niall's waist like he usually did, blindly searching for the boy's hand then to intertwine their fingers next to Niall's face. "You okay?"

"Yeah… just had to pee. The rain woke me up…" Right, Liam hadn't thought about this, Niall was scared of storms and it definitely sounded like one outside, maybe that's why he pressed back into him so desperately, clutching his hand tightly. 

"I'm sorry, babe… try and go back to sleep, okay? I'll be awake anyways." He kissed the back of Niall's head in front of him, tightening his arm as much as possible before quietly breathing in, Niall always smelled really nice, like vanilla somehow and Liam was so used to it that it had a calming effect for him. "You're not scared though, are you?"

"No… not when you're there." Why was he so adorable?

"I'm always here, baby boy, and I'm not letting anything happen to you, you know that, right?" Liam would've gone to close the window, but they'd probably still hear the rain anyways, besides, he was too comfortable and warm and Niall didn't seem like he wanted him to get up either.

"I know, Li… thank you." His voice was rather silent, but he turned his head a bit, so that he could brush his lips against Liam's arm that he had his head on, stirring a little afterwards before asking with an even quieter voice. "Can I have a kiss?"

Though he had already given him one while Niall had been asleep, Liam gladly did it again, in fact, he didn't bother answering and just tried to prop himself up a bit, waiting for Niall to move a bit so that he could lean over him and kiss his lips, a little softer than a peck before going back into their original position, feeling his stomach twist a bit but Liam simply ignored it like he usually did as well. "Sleep tight, Ni."

"You too…" They were still holding hands, but Niall pulled them closer to his face, so close in fact, the back of Liam's hands was touching his lips and the boy's warm breath hit his skin evenly, causing his lips to form into a smile all by themselves. He loved being with Niall so much, no matter what it was they were doing, he wouldn't have minded if Niall was the only person he'd see for a month or so.

Liam waited for a while, not quite sure if Niall had fallen asleep or not, he didn't want to ask and risk it, so instead, he just enjoyed being like this, the feeling of their intertwined hands, Niall's breath against his skin, his warmth through only one layer of clothing because Liam had figured he could sleep better if he was shirtless.

The fact that Niall was here though made it a little easier to think about the problem called Sophia, like, it was obvious, that Liam had to protect his boy at every cost, and he couldn't do that if he risked her going and saying whatever about him, he couldn't allow her to bash the most important person in Liam's life.

And suddenly, he felt a need to let everyone know that, maybe even her, to let them know where his priorities where right now, so he carefully reached for his phone with the arm Niall was lying on, turning down the brightness a bit before going to the camera and flipping it, almost cooing then because he could see Niall's sleepy face through it and their intertwined fingers, Liam was only barely in the background, for one because Niall's face was in front of his and also because of the darkness, but people would still know what was going on in that picture. Right, that was gonna make a really good tweet.

In fact, Liam found his idea so brilliant, that he almost laughed while typing, not at all expecting for the other boy to actually be awake, though he sounded really sleepy, he was still obviously seeing what Liam was about to tell to millions of people. "Did you just take a photo… wait… Liam! You can't tweet that!" 

But he already had, laughing loudly as Niall snatched his phone, which did exactly nothing because the boy had no idea how Twitter worked, but he wiggled around until he could face the older boy, probably pouting which was hard to tell in complete darkness. "Why not? Everyone's gonna love this, you're cute as hell when you're sleeping."

"But what you wrote is embarrassing!" That was what he was worried about? There were tons of reasons why Liam shouldn't have done this, but he simply ignored them all, feeling much better now that he had just gone with it, knowing very well that deleting would have done exactly nothing anymore. 

"Why? You are my baby and I am giving you some cuddles because of the storm." Maybe it was better not to check Twitter for a while now after wording it exactly like this.

"But now everyone knows I'm scared." Niall was pouting now, at least that's what it sounded like, but he didn't try backing away from Liam, not even when the older boy leaned in to kiss his forehead softly, deciding to going back to holding the boy's hand in between them since they were lying face to face, the younger boy's head still on his arm.

"Aww, baby, come on, it's really cute, you know how they always comment pictures of us, everyone loves you Ni." Which was true like, Liam wasn't making this up because he wanted to make him feel better, the fans were in love with Niall, just like everyone else. "Not as much as I love you though, but that's okay, because that level is impossible to reach."

"Hmm… " Was all Niall made, but it didn't seem like he was too mad since he cuddled closer into Liam again, almost sounding angry then about having to say this. "I love you too."

"I know you do, baby cakes." For some reason it made Liam laugh, not because he was so extremely amused but just because it came so easily over his lips all of a sudden, the fact that he had actually tweeted the picture, the way Niall had just grumbled this, still having to tell Liam he loved him too even while pretending to be mad at him, god, what would Liam do without this boy?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, this is an early update as it's already the 25th for me, so enjoy :)

If there was one thing Niall didn't like while being on tour with Liam, it was definitely the crowds, which were impossible to avoid of course, but no matter how many times it happened, it didn't seem to get any better. The difference to that one time in the mall, that seemed to be ages away, was that Liam was always there from beginning to end, holding him and trying to calm him, and also, usually something held the fans back, so they weren't actually grabbing onto anyone, but their loudness and just the experience of it all got Niall really nervous.

Still, he loved tour apart from that, loved seeing Liam perform because he seemed to be so happy up on stage and hearing him sing, even if it didn't give him the same goosebumps as when Liam did it at night when it was just the two of them, half whispering into Niall's ear to help him falling asleep. Niall also loved everything else, every place they went to because it was just so exciting, his family had never really gone on holiday or stayed in hotels, so it was all pretty new and getting to experience it with Liam made everything even better. The only place he had felt a little uneasy visiting had been Dublin, but it had been fine, since he hadn't actually been there too often and anyways, being with Liam also meant that they mostly couldn't even go outside.

Which led to another thing Niall didn't feel too well about, the fact that whenever Liam had to be somewhere and he couldn't come, it was impossible for Niall to do anything else except for staying in the hotel room. Well, sometimes he had spent some time with people from the crew, they were all really nice, trying hard not to make Niall feel unwelcome, but it got him nervous without Liam or any of the other boys, so there was that problem.

Also, the fact that he felt guilty because he wasn't actually doing anything, like, he was just there, using too much of Liam's money without actually deserving it, so he had been more than happy when Liam had understood as he had brought it up carefully, he had had to prepare himself for it for two full days until he had gotten the guts to actually speak up.

But what else had Niall expected than Liam being incredibly sweet about it, he was the most perfect person in the entire world and Niall loved him so much more every day that it had started to hurt. Like, he knew that his crush was very silly, considering all those things Liam called him and the way he treated him, Niall loved that of course, but he also loved getting those kisses on the mouth for a whole different reason than Liam probably thought.

It gave Niall a billion butterflies and tingles, every single time again their lips met, Liam's were really warm and soft and Niall could've kissed him the whole day long if he had been allowed to. He remembered asking Liam to kiss him, like, it was probably the most reckless thing he had ever done, he still didn't even know how he had gotten the bravery to do it but fact was, it had been one of the best decisions in his life so far.

A day or two had passed since Niall had asked Liam about whether he found it a good idea for him to finish school, they hadn't really talked about any of this since then, Liam had mentioned it once though, so Niall really hoped that he wouldn't forget about it because he didn't know whether he'd have the courage to bring it up again. Because even though he felt a lot less shy and embarrassed around Liam, those were just some topics that got him feeling a little uneasy, not that there was a need to, no, Liam would never do or say anything to hurt Niall on purpose, he knew that, he trusted the older boy 100% and it was such a nice thing to finally being able to think that and knowing it was true, knowing that despite all the bad things that had happened, all the times Niall had given up hope, he had still had the biggest luck in the whole entire world and he'd never stop being grateful for it.

"You tired?" Liam's soft voice got Niall out of his daydreams, even though, 'day' was maybe the wrong term seeing as it was as dark as could be and he was indeed very tired, so much he hadn't even bothered falling behind a bit. That was something Niall would never get used to, staying up so late, he could've stayed back of course, but he knew that Liam would've felt obliged to stay with him even if Niall was certain he really wanted to come along with the others to look around the city a bit, in the middle of the night, the only time when they wouldn't create a mass hysteria.

"'m okay." Niall mumbled, his heart jumping a bit as the older boy stopped walking completely, smiling as he obviously waited for Niall to catch up, his hand stretched towards himl. 

"You look a bit sick though, are you alright?" The feeling of their fingers sliding against each other almost had Niall sighing in relief, he loved holding Liam's hand so much it was ridiculous, but then again, why wouldn't he like it? It was warm and the older boy's tight grip felt secure, plus sometimes when he would rub his thumb along Niall's, the younger boy felt as if he had to die on the spot.

"I don't think I'm sick…" Then Niall shrugged a little, because that wasn't exactly the truth, he hadn't felt too good ever since waking up, but Liam had been so excited about everything so he hadn't brought it up. Now though, as they were just holding hands and Liam's smile turned into worry as he brought his free hand up to press against Niall's forehead, he didn't wanna lie too obviously. "I'm just a bit sleepy, that's all."

"Hm… you feel a bit warm but maybe that's because my hand is cold. If you don't feel good you should tell me and we should go back, babe." If Niall hadn't already been shaking his head, maybe he would've accepted the offer, Liam just sighed a bit, obviously not satisfied as he pulled Niall closer by his hand, pressing a warm kiss just above his eyebrow. "So stubborn, huh? Let me at lest give you a piggy back ride, okay? I know you're sleepy."

It was hard to say no to this, especially because Niall still felt tingly from the kiss and Liam had already let go of his hand, turning his back towards Niall instead, making himself a little smaller so Niall would have it easier. Still, he hesitated for a second, because they didn't do this too often and Niall had yet to figure out the least awkward way to do this, but it turned out to be fairly easy, mostly because Liam grabbed hold of his thighs immediately while Niall tried not to strangle the older boy. "Am I too heavy?"

"Why are you always asking me this, Ni? I barely even feel your weight." Then he chuckled before starting to walk, luckily not as if he'd break down any second, Niall was aware that he had gained some weight, he would still consider himself skinny but it did make him a bit self conscious, because Liam looked like he did. Not that appearance could've changed the fact that Niall's crush was absolutely hopeless. "I think we just lost the others and I don't really feel like running."

"It's okay… I don't mind being alone with you…" Not at all, Niall kinda regretted speaking his mind so openly, but then again, Liam already knew how attached Niall was to him, he wasn't exactly holding back.

"Yeah?" Liam teased and Niall heard the smile in his voice as he rested his head on the older boy's shoulder, letting his eyes fall close because he loved the way this felt, to have Liam's even breath so close, feeling him moving and his hands holding tightly onto Niall's upper thighs. Maybe if it hadn't been so dark and creepy, he would've actually managed to fall asleep while being carried. "I quite like being alone with you too, actually. A little bit at least."

"That's really mean to say, Li, I really meant it." Of course it had just been a dumb joke because Liam had been laughing before even saying it, but Niall pretended to be mad for a second, even making his voice sound extra sad, purely so that the older would try and make up for it again.

And he did. "Aw, baby, I was kidding, you know how much I love spending time with you, Nialler."

Immediately after it was out, Liam almost stumbled over his own feet, if it hadn't been for that, Niall might have not even noticed why there was so much tension going through the older boy's body now. Oh, the nickname had slipped through, Niall waited for the pain a few seconds, waited for his stomach to drop uncomfortably, but nothing ever happened except for Liam hastily trying to find an apologize.

"I'm so sorry, Niall, I… I wasn't thinking, I just.. I-"

"It's okay, Li, you can call me whatever you want." Strangely enough, saying this felt really good, like, ever since Niall had told Liam everything about his past, ever since they had been to the foster home, things seemed to be easier for Niall. For one because he had shared them with someone who he knew cared about him, and second, he knew if he ever felt sad or needed to talk about it with someone, Liam would be there, he wasn't alone and despite the fact that what had happened still haunted Niall to this day, at least he had let someone in on it, someone he loved. "It's just a nickname, nothing else, I don't… I don't mind if you say it, I always used to like being called that anyways."

"Are you sure, babe? I won't do it ever again if you don't want me to, I promise, it just slipped through." He sounded really desperate and apologetic, something Niall hated more than anything else, so to maybe try and show Liam that it really was alright, he quickly turned his head to press his lips to the side of Liam's neck, getting goosebumps from the feeling of his skin against his, he was definitely taking his obsession too far by now.

"No, it's okay, Li, really, I won't freak out over it anymore. It was actually really silly for me to do it back then, it's just a name, right? It shouldn't influence me, and I'm fine with it now anyways." Which was completely true as Niall noticed once he had said it, tightening his arms around Liam's neck before burying his face in between the older boy's shoulder and neck, he loved getting carried like this, being so close in general, if it would've gone after Niall, he would have been clinging to Liam like a koala all day long.

"Ni, it wasn't silly of you, okay? I'm really sorry that it slipped out, but I'm happy if it's not making you feel so bad anymore and even if it does then you have every reason to, alright? It's not _just_ a name, you don't choose what's making you feel sad and what doesn't." Liam was so sweet like, his voice was all soft, probably in case Niall had genuinely gotten hurt by this, but the truth was, he was actually silently smiling to himself now, listening to Liam's even breath, suddenly getting a tad emotional.

"It's not making me feel anything anymore, Li. And that's because of you, so thank you, for, you know… being there for me, and listening to me and always knowing the right thing to say, I … I don't know where I'd be without you." It was true, Niall flushed a bit, but it was way easier to say those things when Liam wasn't looking at him, he was still just walking, Niall felt it but he kept his face buried and eyes closed, already hearing the faint voices of the others.

"You don't have to thank me, baby, I'm just really glad that you're better now and if you say that I'm helping you with that then that's making me extra happy… I love you so much, Ni, you know that, right?" He did, just sometimes, Niall was a little overwhelmed with it, like now for example, he had to actually take a minute or so, nuzzling his face deeper into Liam.

"Yeah… I love you too." So much that it hurt, but Niall wasn't going to say that, he was half whispering anyways, because it was for only Liam to hear and though he couldn't see, he could still hear the others as they were catching up now.

"What are you guys even doing, we thought you got kidnapped or something!" Didn't seem too unlikely seeing as it was at least 2 am or something, Niall didn't feel like looking up though, it was really creepy to be outside and though he kew Liam was there protecting him, that didn't mean it freaked him out any less. "Is Niall dead?"

"No 'm not…" Niall mumbled into Liam's shirt, which probably no one really heard but it's not that he actually cared, he was really tired, and maybe a little bit cold as well and his head hurt slightly.

"He's just sleepy… we'll probably go back soon anyways, it's really late already." For a moment, Niall thought he'd slip off Liam as the older boy let go of his upper thigh with one hand, but as he brought it up to his neck instead to squeeze one of Niall's gently, the younger boy gladly tried holding himself up. 

"That's the point, Liam, it's only 2 am and we'll probably be stuck in the hotel the whole day long tomorrow anyways." Exactly what Niall loved, he liked watching Liam on stage, but not as much as cuddling with him in bed.

"We don't have to go back, I… I'm not even that tired." Well, at least Niall was trying to suppress his yawn, he even lifted his head now, well aware that his eyes were about to drop close if it hadn't been for the slight but annoying pain in his head that he couldn't tell Liam about. 

It were only Harry and Louis there, Zayn had been with them as well, but he had brought a friend so they had probably taken off without them or something, which the blonde boy didn't mind too much, he didn't like strangers a lot as everyone probably knew by now, but he was getting better at being around them, only half ripping off Liam's arm by now. "Okay, maybe you should really take him back, Li, or we're gonna have a very grumpy Niall tomorrow."

Harry had observed his face for a second before saying that, Niall had already opened his mouth to protest, holding on a bit more securely to Liam as the older boy was still holding onto his arm, rubbing his thumb over Niall's wrist. "He doesn't get grumpy when he's tired, he just gets really cuddly, don't you, babe?"

"Hmm…" The thing was, Niall was always in need of cuddles, just when he was tired, he didn't think too much about whether Liam would maybe get annoyed by him being even clingier than normally, so he didn't really know what to answer, glad for the darkness hiding his red cheeks because Harry and Louis seemed pretty amused already.

"I don't think it's possible for you guys to cuddle anymore than you already do." Very true, yet Niall still sometimes felt like it wasn't enough, especially the nights when he didn't sleep in Liam's bed, they felt like wasted opportunities, just lately the weather's not been very kind to Niall, hardly any storms.

"You jealous?" Liam laughed, he always said those things so easily it made Niall wonder if he really meant them, either way, his heart sped up at just the though of Liam enjoying snuggling with him just as much as the other way around. Probably not though, because Liam himself was the best person alive to going to if you needed a hug, he was tall, warm, smelled good and above that, which got Niall blushing just thinking about it, he had a lot of muscles and it made the younger boy feel so safe to be wrapped up in his arms, he hadn't thought it'd be possible to feel so secure.

"A little bit maybe, Niall does seem like he gives good hugs whenever he's clinging to you like a koala." Shit, did he really do it so obviously that even the others noticed?!

"Trust me, he does. And you got Louis anyways, so back off." It was just banter of course, but Niall still liked Liam being so possessive over him, it made him feel really good, because he felt much the same, wanting Liam for himself only. "Anyways, we'll probably go back for real now, I'm kinda getting quite tired too."

"Yeah, right, Liam." Louis winked at Liam as far as Niall could tell in almost complete darkness, which he really didn't understand, or maybe it was because he was too captivated by how Liam moved his hand down again to graze along Niall's upper thigh. "Just like all those cigarettes have started to get gross over night, huh?"

Wait, what? "That's completely off topic, but anyways, I'm pretty sure you guys have a few more hours to stroll around here, so excuse me, I gotta call us a taxi."

"Yeah, whatever, Liam, text us when you're back, alright?" That was the thing about all of them, as much as they were always making fun of each other, Niall liked how they all still openly cared, which was one reason why he wasn't shy around them anymore, they were always so nice to him whenever Liam wasn't around, as if they really did like him as well, and maybe they did, just a little bit at least.

As soon as they walked off, Liam started loosening his grip on Niall's legs a little bit, just carefully, as if to not startle him, his voice a lot softer than before as he had talked to his bandmates, it always seemed to change to that whenever he talked to Niall. "I'll put you down for a bit, okay? So I can get my phone."

"Okay…" Niall slipped down as carefully as possible, immediately walking around the older boy then, barely looking at his face or anywhere else before hugging him tightly around the middle, shoving his arms underneath Liam's open hoodie to be even warmer. And also closer, but that was a different topic. "Liam…"

"…Yes, baby?" He seemed a bit distracted, one arm wrapped tightly around Niall to keep him close while the blonde boy had his cheek leaned against Liam's chest, obviously needing his other hand to use his phone.

"What'd Louis mean… with the cigarettes?" Liam had never smoked in front of Niall, or even smelled like it, so that had been a bit confusing for the younger boy, even more now when the older boy sighed slightly noticeable, rubbing his palm over Niall's back slowly.

"I've been smoking for a few years, I just… I don't know, you know, since I found you… I kinda forgot to do it for a week or two, just like that, and I thought, if I can do stop doing it for so long I maybe shouldn't pick it up again. Also, I don't wanna do it in front of you, I know you'd be old enough to, just, it's not healthy, for either of us, and… I wouldn't want that. But you know what? Actually I wanted to thank you for that, because I wouldn't have managed to stop without you." Oh. Now that had not been what Niall had expected at all, he really was glad that Liam wasn't smoking anymore, even though it seemed strange that he'd stop just because of Niall, but if so, that wasn't a bad thing right?

"Oh… Um… you're welcome?" He made it sound like a question, feeling the older boy's body vibrate as he laughed softly, dropping a kiss on the top of Niall's head.

"You're the cutest person alive, you know that?" Niall didn't know that, he just furiously blushed, pressing tighter into Liam and pressing his eyes closed, not feeling too safe staring down an empty road with maybe three cars passing by within half an hour.

The taxi seemed to take forever to get here, Niall just seemed to get sleepier if anything, though he was standing now, not letting go of Liam in any way, enjoying the older boy now having both his arms wrapped around him as well, rocking them a bit, with his chin tugged over Niall's head, causing him to almost doze off every five seconds, and for real afterwards once they got in the car, his headache feeling a bit less painful by now.

Once Niall had slept in, or actually not really because he felt kinda restless, not quite sure anymore whether anything of what had happened had been real or a dream, but Liam had most likely really carried him up to their room, Niall just really hoped he hadn't mumbled all those things he thought he had because they had mostly only contained the older boy's name and 'I love you'. Being a sleep talker wasn't exactly Niall's favorite thing in the world. "Ni, babe, you gotta let go of me."

"Nooo…" He still hadn't fully woken up, a little more than before now, he did realize Liam had put him down into his own bed, but he was too close to sleeping in right away again as to be embarrassed about holding the older boy's wrist to keep him there, wanting nothing more than to cuddle with him.

"I'll come lie down with you in a second, I gotta get on my laptop quickly. Come on, if you take those off you can take a nap until I'm done." Niall's eyes were burning because of the light, he was well aware that he'd never even be able to stay awake for Liam to come cuddle up with him, but he let go of him now, unwillingly, barely able to keep looking up at the older boy.

Liam was on the edge of the bed, smiling as he leaned over a now pouting Niall to kiss his forehead softly, his cologne making the younger boy's mind so dizzy that he barely noticed Liam going to unzip his jeans. Which was a good thing because otherwise he would've blushed like crazy.

But since he was pretty distracted, and half asleep, Niall didn't think too much about lifting his hips slightly and helping to kick his jeans off, almost passing out the second Liam put the blanket over him, of course, folding Niall's jeans for him because that was just who Liam was. "Okay, go to sleep, yeah? I love you."

"Love you…" Was literally all Niall managed, barely being able to enjoy the peck he got on the lips or Liam's hands brushing through his hair or the older boy's smile because his eyes had already fallen closed.

For a minute or two, Niall was on the edge of drifting off after Liam had left the bed, but somehow he was always being woken up by some random background noise until he blinked his eyes open again, groaning quietly as he turned onto his other side instead, not looking at the wall anymore now, but at Liam instead.

The older boy was sitting at the table they had, no idea what he actually had to do on his laptop but he seemed pretty concentrated while doing so, furrowing his brows a bit as far as Niall could tell from the distance. He really wanted to cuddle with him, it'd be so much easier to fall asleep if Liam were holding him, because even though Niall was tired as hell, he couldn't find any rest for some reason, sometimes that happened, usually those nights he'd go crawl into Liam's bed without asking. But tonight, he'd have to find another solution for his problem.

Without really thinking this through, Niall sat up, feeling a little bit dizzy but he ignored it as he crawled to the edge of the bed on all four, almost falling off as well but managing to catch himself last second. Since when had standing become so difficult and exhausting? "Niall, what are you doing?"

Not bothering to answer, Niall ignored Liam's confused question and stare, knowing that he was seconds from getting up, so instead, Niall walked those few steps before dropping himself sideways into Liam's lap, head on his shoulder, moving until he was more comfortable, very pleased to almost having the older boy's arms wrapping around him automatically somehow. "Can I sleep here?"

"I…" It seemed Liam was a bit taken off guard, though he was holding Niall rather tightly, even kissing the top of his head after a second. "I'm pretty sure the bed would be a lot more comfortable than-"

"Please?" Niall couldn't help but sound a bit whiny, he really did not want to leave anymore, Liam was so warm and he smelled so nice as Niall nuzzled his face against his bare neck, closing his eyes as he felt a hand stroking down the back of his head.

"Of course you can, Nialler, I don't mind at all, I just thought you could sleep better in the bed." The nickname didn't even make Niall flinch anymore for which he was really grateful, he just let out a content sigh, twisting his fingers into Liam's shirt.

"No… I can sleep better when you're there…" The fact that Niall slept in one second after mumbling this was probably proof enough, he didn't even care if the one side that wasn't pressed against Liam was a little cold, he would gladly take frost bites on him if he could just be close to the older boy.

 

———————

 

Unfortunately, Niall didn't wake up as happy and content as he had felt sleeping in while being held by Liam, feeling his chest moving, actually, he woke up all alone in bed with a slight headache again, not quite sure where he had gotten that from, but he felt cold as well, trying to bury himself further underneath the sheets, seeking Liam's body heat, but apparently, the older boy had disappeared.

For a while, Niall tried falling back asleep, hoping for Liam to get back from wherever he had been, maybe just the bathroom or so, and he'd slip right back to cuddle with Niall and maybe get him some pills for his head because he was always that caring. Well, Niall probably wouldn't tell him that he was in pain though, so that probably wasn't gonna happen, but the cuddles certainly were, right?

It was actually funny, or not, the way Niall was so convinced for once that they would spend the day lying around and doing nothing, he didn't feel a need to be worried about where Liam had gone, deciding to just wait with closed eyes, Liam never left him alone for too long, he'd come back and then he'd hold Niall for as long as he wanted to. Or maybe not.

The thing was, Liam did come back of course, from the hallway though, which wasn't too questioning though, and Niall didn't sit up or open his eyes, because one, he was sleepy as hell and two, he hoped Liam would come slip underneath the blanket. None of it happened though, actually, Niall just felt the mattress next to him giving in a bit, then a hand shaking his shoulder slightly, not as gentle as Liam normally was. "Niall, wake up, come on."

"W-What?" Yawning, Niall blinked his eyes open, his happiness about the other boy being back quickly vanishing as he saw the stressed expression on his face.

"Look, I'm really sorry I woke you, babe, just I… I gotta leave in a few minutes and I wanted to tell you before I go." Well, NOW Niall was wide awake, looking down as he felt disappointment rushing through him, rubbing at his eye sleepily, he had really thought this would just be a day for the two of them.

"Oh…B-But when you get back… can we… cuddle then? I…" He didn't talk on though to tell Liam that he didn't feel too well and that maybe cuddles would've cured him, because hearing the older boy sigh wasn't very motivating, it sounded like he was very annoyed by something, he wasn't even stroking Niall or touching him like he usually would have.

"I don't… I don't know when I'll be back, maybe it'll get a bit later, I… I gotta meet up with Sophia." And immediately as that name came up, Niall's brain literally emptied, he even forgot to breathe for a second because he was first of all so surprised that he felt nothing else, and then from one second to the other, the pain settled in, like physical pain from hearing this.

Hadn't they broken up? No one had mentioned her, for _months_ , Liam had told Niall he knew what she had done back then, so why was he going back to here, NOW?! … didn't he love Niall anymore, was she more important than him again?! He couldn't just leave it like this, Liam had told Niall a hundred times to always speak up if there was something he wanted to talk about, and just for once, Niall would've really liked an explanation. If only his voice hadn't been so shaky because of the knot in his throat. "B-But I thought… I thought you broke up with her a-and… y-you didn't see h-her for m-months and you said t-that-"

"I know what I said, alright?!" That was maybe the most unexpected thing to happen ever, Liam actually got loud, even getting up from the edge of the bed before letting out a really frustrated sigh that Niall barely noticed, he had flinched terribly, eyes wide as he watched the older boy. Never ever had he talked to Niall like this, or just cut him off this way, had Niall done anything wrong?! "I'm gonna explain this to you, later, okay, here's some money, go buy and do whatever you want, just… maybe take one of the others with you, I really gotta go or I'll run late. We'll talk at night, okay?"

"B-But, L-Li…" Right, what was there to say, the whole thing happened so quickly, Liam wasn't even looking at Niall anymore as he placed some money on the bedside table, hastily checking his phone, as if this was the most important thing in the world suddenly. Maybe it was, Niall could feel his heart dropping and tears building up in his eyes as he sat up slowly, hoping he wouldn't start sobbing now. "Liam…"

But he hadn't even been listening. "… and you still know where Harry's and Louis' room his, right? I'm sure you can spend the day with them today, I gotta hurry, see you tonight!"

There was a half hearted ruffle through Niall's already messy hair, no kiss, no 'I love you' or whatever, hell, he even ignored Niall trying to say something before he was already out the room, barely even having looked at the younger boy or anything, he even almost smashed the door, causing Niall to flinch once more before he was plunged into silence, just staring at the wall for a few minutes, trying to progress this first of all before starting to bawl.

But literally, what the hell? Why… had Liam forgiven her from one day to the other? And if he already had for a while then why hadn't he told Niall?! Right, the answer to this wasn't very nice at all to admit to yourself, especially in the situation Niall was in now, because things had been so, so great lately and he had really looked forward to today and… oh, why did this always have to happen to him?

Of course Liam liked her better, still, after all, she had had every right to do what she had done, it's just… what was gonna happen now? Obviously Niall wouldn't run away again, he couldn't, Liam was responsible for him, he'd probably get him arrested or something, Niall would never do that but hell, what if Sophia came back now? What if she hated Niall even more and what if Liam would spend less and less time with Niall and then throw him out when he was 18?! Shit.

There were tears spilling over from one second to the other, Niall let out a quiet sob as he buried his face back down into the pillow, trying to stop himself from crying and shaking but it didn't work, he still had a headache and he was cold, all he had wanted was cuddling with Liam and nothing else so that added up to his emotional breakdown.

Not as much as the fact though that Liam hadn't even cared enough to listen to Niall, or give him a kiss or anything to calm him, he had just been in a hurry to get away, he had never ever acted like this before so it hurt even worse now.

Of course there was the responsible voice inside Niall, telling him that there was probably an explanation, but he pushed that away, not wanting to make himself hopes when there were none, he didn't accuse Liam of being a bad person, but… to be quite honest, Niall wasn't only disappointed but also a little mad at the older boy.

Which made him feel guilty and therefore cry even harder, he had no right to be angry after everything, yet he was, because… Liam had fucking promised! 

Niall had no idea how much time had passed by until he had run out of tears, sniffing as he half stumbled into the bathroom to blow his nose and try to dry up his face, feeling a bit better now after letting it out. But like shit nevertheless, this was what he had always been afraid of secretly, but he had thought that Liam was safe, that he meant his promised, Niall had really started to fully trust him, but now, he wasn't so sure anymore what to do or to believe, he wanted to be sad, but then again, be angry as well, it was somewhere in between, something Niall didn't really know how to deal with.

The good thing was, he had gotten better at a lot of other things too during the past few months, which was choking back tears and trying to put up a normal face as he changed his clothes, demonstratively not wearing Liam's hoodie though he wanted to, he just needed to push this into the back of his mind, he could do this, just until tonight, hide his disappointment that seemed to be eating him alive.

Finding Louis' and Harry's room wasn't too hard, the courage to actually knock though a lot longer, about fifteen minutes almost, and luckily no one walked down the hallway during that time because how would've Niall explained that to anyone? Just, he was even angrier at Liam for making him do this, but at the same time, he wanted to do it, because if he just spent the whole day crying in their hotel room then that was going to help no one. Strangely but true, Niall was so freaking desperate, he thought maybe Liam would change his mind if he got scared Niall would just go walk off to his other two bandmates, which he would NEVER do, but it was worth a try. And worth not being lonely.

After knocking a few times, Niall almost ran off again, instead he stood there frozen, hating himself for not having come up with an explanation yet, and for the tears that still felt on the edge of dropping over as the door got opened by a very sleepy looking Louis. "Niall…? It's really early, what… wait, did anything happen? Where's Liam?"

Of course that was what he assumed, and well, something had happened after all, just not what Louis expected probably, it got Niall ashamed all of a sudden, so he looked down quickly, picking at the skin next to his thumb which drew blood immediately because it never really healed. "Um… I just… I thought maybe… maybe I could… stay here for a little bit?"

"Wait, but… where's Liam?" Louis asked again, his voice had changed, from alarmed to even more worried.

"He… he had to leave because, um… he's meeting Sophia." God, this was both painful and embarrassing as well, like… Niall wasn't trying to make Liam look bad or anything, it's just… what else should he have said, he hated doing this, but it's not like it had been his choice.

The silence was hanging heavily between them for a few seconds, Niall refused to look up until Louis cleared his throat a bit, he was smiling a little when the younger boy checked, knowing very well that Louis was probably as confused as he was himself. "Oh. Well, of course you can stay with me and Haz, you know that, right? Come on, you can help me wake him up, I can never bear to be too mean."

Luckily, there were no questions as he let Niall in, Louis just acted as if this was the most normal thing in the world as he closed the door behind them, their room almost looking identical to Niall's and Liam's. Great, just don't think about him, Niall. "I… I'm not that mean either though."

"I know, Niall, no worries. Maybe you can jump on the bed instead or something." He just laughed while walking in front of Niall, who tried really hard to find this funny but he couldn't even crack a smile, he hated this day, hated Sophia and above all, he hated Liam for doing this to him. Of course, if there would've been an explanation, Niall would've forgotten about it in a heartbeat, it was actually so embarrassing how much he wished there was one, just so he wouldn't have to be mad anymore and carry that feeling of disappointment around in his stomach. "Hey, babe, look who's here, are you still asleep?"

"'m not, Lou…. thanks to you being a pain in the ass, like literally, last night was-"

"Niall's here." Right, Niall was really thankful for Louis interrupting, even though for a second or two he at least hadn't been thinking about Liam but rather about how much he actually shouldn't be here.

"Oh. Hey, Ni, you alright? Sick of Liam? I can't blame you for that." Obviously it was a joke, Niall forced himself to smile as they reached the bed in which Harry was still lying, shirtless, so the younger boy was really glad to see that his boxer shorts were peeking out from underneath the blanket.

"No, I… actually, well, he's kinda um… w-with Sophia, so…" There was no point in lying or anything, since Louis already knew anyways, but it did feel even worse, having to say it yet a second time, while being well aware that the other two exchanged a glance that Niall had to pretend he hadn't seen. He really wanted Liam right now to hold him, his headache was getting worse too instead of better since he had gotten up, but he was trying hard right now to not be such a baby who couldn't live without Liam. Which, in fact, he really couldn't, but Niall had gotten good at pretending.

"Well… you're gonna have much more fun with us anyways, right? We should go eat breakfast or something, okay, Louis?" They were still looking at each other all the time, as if they were communicating without actually talking and Niall felt a bit awkward just standing there so he walked over to the window instead, pretending to be really interested into the view. Right, the one from his and Liam's room was much better, because Liam always made sure of it and… not a good topic to analyze.

"Sure, you alright with that as well, Ni?" Niall flinched slightly when Louis dropped his arm across his shoulders, squeezing him shortly until Niall agreed, flashing him a smile before probably leaving to put some clothes on just like his boyfriend.

It was very obvious, that they were desperately trying to cheer Niall up, seeing right through his facade apparently, they were hardly even touching as they took the elevator down to have some breakfast, constantly cracking jokes and randomly ruffling Niall's hair and squeezing him. They really were good guys, and Niall could tell they would've probably cancelled their plans just for him, maybe they even had, and it made him extra sad to think about that because… why couldn't Liam do that as well? Well, he had done it for the past few months, just, why did it have to be today, out of nowhere, with nothing to prepare Niall for getting his heart broken?

"So, Niall, since we never get to talk without Liam watching over you like a paranoid mother hen" Well, newsflash, he would probably never do that again now. "you can tell us all the dirty secrets about him, you know, we know him pretty well but no one's been stuck with him for as long and through any situation besides you. Plus, he'd try to hide those things from us, so, does he pee on the toilet seat?"

"W-What?" Why would anyone ask that, Niall got really flushed thinking about how well he really knew Liam's habits, and how easily he could've just answered with a 'no', but he really didn't wanna think about Liam peeing right now to be honest.

"I take that as a yes. Does he wear his boxer shorts twice?" Louis and Harry had way too much fun with this, they were in the van now actually, something Niall had welcomed because he kinda hoped Liam would come back meanwhile to look for him and then he'd see that Niall had just left without telling him. Which, of course, wasn't going to happen obviously.

"I… I don't think so." He didn't, and Niall knew that but only because he always saw Liam taking out new ones, not because he had watched him change, that'd really bring his obsession to a whole new level.

"And I think you're lying to me on that one, Ni, we all know he smells, let's just pretend you said yes, alright?" Before Niall could protest, Harry just kept on talking, very obviously trying his best to keep the conversation going, it seemed to be kinda natural though, for both of them, they were either really good at that or they really did find this easy. "I got a brilliant idea, we should go eat ice cream instead of breakfast, okay, Ni?"

Actually, this didn't sound like a very good idea at all, simply because it seemed to be one that Niall would've had instead of Harry, Liam would've never allowed that though, not because he wanted to tease Niall but because it was pretty unhealthy. So that's why Niall nodded eagerly, Liam wasn't here after all. "Okay."

"You know he'll get mad." There was no need for Louis to say who because they all knew, but the other two just laughed while Niall tried his hardest to at least smile a little, he didn't feel too extremely guilty for this, after all, Liam had been the one who had left him and not the other way around.

Of course, Niall hadn't taken any of the money Liam had left him, he hadn't even taken a look before going out of the room so Louis paid for him, actually, he didn't even ask or anything and Niall didn't feel too bad about it because it was just this once. Whereas Liam always spent money on him, another point why Niall felt bad now for being a bit angry at him, but that's why he had talked to Liam about finishing school or getting some job, but Liam hadn't yet brought it up again and Niall didn't wanna bug him with it.

It was a really long day after all, at least no one talked about Liam anymore, that was a very big plus point, though Niall would've really liked to ask Louis and Harry whether they thought that Liam and Sophia were back together, or maybe they had known this for much longer already and just Niall hadn't been worth being told about it. But it was Liam after all, he had never lied to Niall, or broken a promise.

The part Niall wasn't too fond of was going back to the hotel after a while to do whatever, because he would've rather had Liam having to worry about where he was, but then again, who said the older boy would worry about him anyways? Probably not anymore.

Zayn came over as well at some point, to play some Fifa with Niall while the other two obviously had a hard time not making out right in front of them, not that Niall would've really cared that much right now, he had reached a point where literally nothing could've thrown him off track anymore, any distraction was a good one. "You're cheating again, Niall."

"No, I'm not! I've just gotten a lot better since the last time." Niall let out a giggle when Zayn reached over to try and push the controller out of his hands, playfully of course, none of them were ever mean to Niall, though they sometimes treated him like a child as well, which was fine, even if Niall preferred Liam doing that a lot more, but thinking about that now would probably end in tears.

"Z, just get over it, he's gonna beat your ass up, you'll have to learn to deal with it." Or maybe not because who knows what Liam was going to tell Niall once he came back, didn't seem like something to look forward too.

"It's your fault, Haz, you taught him to do this, you created a monster." None of this seemed to be serious so Niall allowed himself to giggle a bit more, feeling a bit dumb but he couldn't hold back, especially when Harry got up from his place on the bed next to Louis, poking Niall into his ribs as he walked past him and right in front of the TV. "Harry!"

"Jesus, calm down, you're never this aggressive. I only just realized that we forgot to give Dan the guitar back he forgot last night." Niall looked over since he had won and the game was over, pretty pleased with himself now even though Zayn pretended to be mad, the corner of his mouth twitching though as he met Niall's eyes, he probably didn't even care after all.

The second Harry sat down on the edge of the bed again, still while holding the guitar, pretty close to Niall and attempted to strum a few chords, the younger boy quickly realized that he had no idea what he was doing, so without thinking really, and even though he hadn't done this in forever, Niall automatically blurted out with his thoughts. "You gotta put your finger over here."

"What?" It seemed Harry hadn't really been trying to seriously play, but he did put his finger where Niall showed him anyways, kinda impressed as he looked up to stare at him. "Wait, you can play guitar?"

"Um, I… I haven't done it in two years, but I guess I still know how to, yeah…" Niall hadn't even told Liam that, because he hadn't thought it was important or anything, or that he was any good, so he shrugged shyly, shifting a bit.

"Liam never told us that." Harry exchanged a look with his boyfriend, seemingly impressed even though there was no reason to, Niall probably sucked now after hardly any practice.

"He… I never told him either." Now he felt bad, for keeping it to himself, but what exactly would've Liam done with that information anyways?

"Can you play one of our songs? I mean, since you listened to them quite a lot, if not, then that's okay, I was just wondering." It was Louis who had spoken up now, he was suddenly leaning closer, as was Zayn and Niall felt a bit anxious having so much attention on him, he really didn't wanna play but… but they had been so nice to him all day long, he couldn't exactly say no, could he?

"I… I can try…" Shyly taking the guitar as Harry handed it over immediately, Niall tried to think of one of their songs he could maybe play, or attempt to, the easiest seemed to be Little Things, but only, and just thinking that made Niall blush hard, because that was the one Liam sometimes sang to him when he couldn't fall asleep. Right, but the others didn't have to know that.

The thing was, playing guitar had always been one of Niall's favorite hobbies, he had taught himself, which really was the only reason why he managed to make this work out now somehow, messing up a few times as soon as he started and furiously blushing, but he got it after a few minutes, hoping one of them would say something, or tell him to stop because he was embarrassed as hell and refused to look anywhere except for the carpet, but they let him go on, not saying a word.

Well, that was until Harry caused Niall to flinch terribly and almost loose track as he just started to sing along as if it was nothing, but it was easier this way somehow, because Niall had something to rely to and try to match it with his guitar playing.

Somehow it made him feel very proud, that he was still able to do it, and actually make it sound like the song, probably not a hundred percent, but if Harry could sing along then that meant he couldn't be too bad at it, right?

Still, Niall's cheeks were burning as if they were on fire once he was done, quickly putting the guitar away in fear they might ask him to play some more, his heart was bumping really fast too, for no reason, because what exactly could happen right? But his hands were really sweaty, so Niall shoved them under his thighs to sit on them instead, maybe also to overplay the fact that they were shaking slightly.

"You're really good, Niall, wow. And you played it just from hearing it a few times, that's… pretty impressive." Oh, well that wasn't the kinda reaction Niall had thought he'd get, but he dared looking up now, shyly, immediately getting nervous again when he noticed everyone looking at him, though they were smiling, but being the center of attention wasn't exactly his favorite thing in the world.

"Um… thanks, I… I haven't played in a while, I know, I… I'm not that good anymore and I-"

"Shush, Ni, playing guitar is something you don't forget so easily. Or at least it seems to be the case with you, that really was great, okay? Liam really missed out, but serves him right anyways." It did, but Niall still couldn't laugh about Louis' comment, because well, he really wished Liam would've been here as well, Niall would have felt way more comfortable having him there, but… what was he gonna do about that, right. 

"You know what, actually …" It was the change in Harry's voice that caused Niall to turn his head and look at him, he seemed to be thinking hard about something before looking at Zayn, then at Louis and suddenly putting a hand on Niall's shoulder as he started grinning. "Niall, I'm really sorry, but I think you will have to play a few more songs on the guitar soon because I've got a brilliant idea."

 

———————

 

Liam felt so guilty as he checked his phone for the time as he entered the hotel again, it was about 11pm already, he had been gone the whole fucking day long, without once getting a text back from Niall even though he had sent him a few, after he had calmed down about the whole situation again and had realized how fucking douchey he had behaved this morning.

It was just, he had been woken up big his fucking phone going off at an unholy time just so he had to put up with a more than angry Sophia yelling at him for an hour straight, he even had to go outside of the room so he wouldn't wake up Niall. 

And though as Liam got into the elevator with the knowledge that at least there was one less problem to deal with, that relief was overshadowed by the fact that he had left Niall all alone, just like that, he had been so stressed out and caught in thoughts that he hadn't even kissed him or anything. He knew Niall wouldn't have run away again, because if the younger boy hadn't told at least one person where Liam was then someone would've called him by now to ask where the fuck he had been. But no, no one had called or texted him, and Liam could only guess that it was because they were all pretty pissed off with him. 

For which they had every right, Niall especially, Liam already thought about what he could do to make this up, but he couldn't even believe he had been this heartless in the first place, it was his little, poor Niall after all, and he had just left him, after promising they'd spend the day together. Fuck.

The surprise wasn't too big as Liam got into an empty hotel room, Niall's phone was on the bedside table like it had been all night long, so maybe he just hadn't seen Liam's texts and not ignored them on purpose. Either way, he was probably still disappointed and angry, even more now because it looked like Liam hadn't thought about him all day long when in fact, he had nonstop, right after waking up.

He could've checked in Zayn's room, or one of the staff members', but a feeling told Liam he should rather just straight go to Louis and Harry, trying to prepare himself for getting yelled at, which he would deserve, and which he expected, he knew they liked Niall a lot and he was glad if they wanted to protect him, even if it was from Liam himself.

After a few knocks, slight ones, Liam was about to get his phone and call either of them when the door suddenly opened, revealing Louis' tired face that immediately turned a lot harder at seeing Liam, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms. This wasn't going to be pretty. "Look who's here, after a whole day, don't you think you should've stayed away a bit longer? I had a feeling Niall wasn't missing you enough already."

"Lou, please, I… let me explain." They were gonna make him feel worse now, Liam just knew, especially once Harry came as well to probably check who was at the door, half glaring at Liam.

"You don't need to explain it to _me_ , Liam, because I'm not the one you left hanging. I have no idea what happened exactly, all Niall told us was that you were gone, with your bloody _girlfriend_ and-"

"She's not my girlfriend." Liam could say that, for sure, but it didn't leave an impression, Louis just rolled his eyes as he kept going.

"You left him all alone, for HER, Liam, and you didn't even tell us or anyone, if Niall hadn't come over, which he wouldn't have like, a month ago, then he would've been all alone in your bloody hotel room. What were you thinking, you're all he's got, you mean everything to him and you know it!" The fact that his bandmate had suddenly gotten louder caused Liam to flinch before looking down, trying to fight those tears back into his body, he felt even worse now, just like expected, getting it shoved into his face like that was horrible, even if he deserved it, he really, really did.

"I know… I just… I gotta explain it to him and apologize, I know I messed up, just… can I come inside, please?" Because Niall was most likely in there, probably asleep considering the time, it gave Liam yet another sting, knowing that Niall hadn't wanted to sleep in his bed like he usually would.

"Try to be quiet though, and don't wake him up, it took him forever to sleep in. Thanks to you." As if he hadn't already known, Liam sighed deeply, barely looking up, Louis and Harry glaring at him when he knew he fully deserved it was probably the worst thing. Or no, the worst thing was knowing that he had made Niall sad, that he had let him feel this way for a whole day, after everything he had promised that boy, Liam was a horrible person. 

"I won't wake him, I just wanna see him, please?" The fact that Liam was almost begging was maybe what convinced them to step aside, like, they weren't too angry at him, Liam knew that, they just had had to deal with a probably very sad Niall the whole day, it was no wonder they were feeling this way now, it was terrible if the younger boy was anything besides happy.

As Liam slipped into the room, trying his hardest to be the quietest he could possibly manage to be, he was well aware that the other two were following, which he ignored pretty well, his heart dropping at the sight he got once he was fully inside.

The fact that Louis and Harry had given up their bed for Niall, seeing as they only had one, and had dressed him in their own clothes had Liam's throat feeling tight, as much as he felt jealousy bubbling up in him, he was still so relieved that at least someone had taken the job he should've done very seriously and taken care of his Niall. It was right then and there that Liam promised himself that he'd never do this again, no matter how serious the situation was, and even if like today, if he actually did it to protect the blonde boy, Niall's well being for the moment would still always come first.

He looked pretty exhausted, even in his sleep, curled up under the blanket, face towards Liam, a hand slipped underneath his cheek, his hair all messy and lips parted slightly, causing Liam to feel an almost unbearable urge to go and pull Niall into his lap, let him sleep there instead like he had done last night, where he had just wanted to be close to Liam, no matter at what price.

"I really hope you have a good explanation, Liam." Harry had stepped up next to him, also watching Niall from some distance as he whispered, there was only one light on, and not the main one, probably for Niall's sake.

"I do. But it still doesn't excuse this, I… I didn't mean to, Haz, I was so bloody nervous and in a hurry, I just… I'll tell you the whole story later, but anyways… thanks for taking care of him, it means a lot to me, even if you didn't do it for me, but still, thank you." Good thing Niall was so irresistible that everyone had already fallen in love with him, not as much as Liam loved him though, even if maybe Niall had started doubting that today, but he did mean everything to Liam, and he'd make sure the boy knew once he woke up.

"You should tell him before any of us, and well… you know we didn't mind doing this, we really like him too, everyone does, Li, you know that. Just… make sure he's feeling alright again, okay? It's the most awful thing in the world to see him this sad and trying so hard to pretend it's alright." Definitely, 100% right, which was also the cause of Liam tearing up unwillingly, not bothering to wipe at his eyes though.

"I know…" Without thinking, he walked over to the bed then, half expecting to be stopped by one of the others telling him he needed to leave Niall alone, but they did nothing and Liam quickly forgot their presence like 5 seconds later as he sat on the edge of the bed, eyes never shifting from Niall's face.

First, Liam just sat there, staring creepily, fighting his tears back before somehow automatically reaching out to stroke the blonde hair, very softly, concerned about not waking him up, he just needed to touch him somehow, Liam had missed him so terribly the whole day long, he just wanted to be close even though he knew Niall probably wouldn't wanna cuddle with him right now. That probably hurt more than any physical pain ever could've.

Maybe it was insanity that led Liam to lean down despite knowing that they weren't alone and kissing Niall's cheek, or more the corner of his mouth actually, stilling his hand but keeping it tangled in the boy's hair, making sure to whisper as he couldn't hold back his words anymore. "I love you so much… and I'm so sorry, baby boy."

What else could Liam have said? It was all true and that was really all he had wanted to desperately tell Niall the whole day long, and now that he had, the younger boy hadn't even heard him. So instead, Liam kept looking down at him, biting his bottom lip hard, being as gentle as he could be while stroking the boy's face slowly, almost forgetting about Louis and Harry probably being here somewhere as well, and what had happened this day in general, all he could think about was Niall.

The last thing Liam had wanted though was to accidentally wake him up, even if he really wanted to explain his actions, he immediately backed off as Niall started stirring, hoping he was just turning or moving in his sleep like he did so often, but no, he actually let out some sound before bringing his hand up, rubbing at his cheek before letting it drop again, eyes flattering open.

For the time Niall needed to get his coordination back, having his usual cute sleepy face, Liam anxiously waited, not being able to look away or do anything, almost having hope that Niall maybe wouldn't even be too extremely mad as their eyes met, it almost seemed like he would be happy about the older boy being there. Well, if only he hadn't turned around within half a second then, curling tighter into the blanket, breaking Liam's heart. "Ni-"

"No, go away." He was sniffing, shit, why was Liam such a fuck up?!

"I know you're mad at me, babe, please let me explain this, I promise I'll leave you alone then, just please listen to me." Liam was so desperate, because he didn't know how to deal with this, he had never made Niall _angry_ at him, he sure as hell deserved it, but still, Liam had no idea what to do, whether he should touch him or not, or cry because he felt like doing that.

"No… you didn't listen to me either this morning, you just… l-left me a-alone…a-and I j-just wanted a c-cuddle because I w-wasn't f-feeling good…" Oh god, was he crying now?!

That was it, Liam couldn't just sit there anymore, he just moved to lean over Niall, feeling the boy's body tense as he kissed his cheek, feeling him trying to move away, but he couldn't because Liam had his arms on either side of him, leaning onto his elbows, his chest pressing against Niall's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Ni, I know I should've listened, I know I messed up, okay? I shouldn't have left you just like that, and I'm sorry I forgot to give you a kiss and didn't give you a cuddle, I'll give you as many as you want now, babe, and even if you don't believe me or if it doesn't mean anything, I thought about you all day long, and I also texted you a lot, if you just give me a chance, I'll explain it all to you, please don't cry, baby, I love you so much."

There was no reaction whatsoever, Niall stayed turned away from Liam, not trying to bring more distance between them anymore though, sniffing a few more times, more quietly now. Liam knew that he was more disappointed into him than actually mad, which hurt even more, if Niall would've at least yelled at him, but no, he just softly cried into the pillow, almost causing Liam's tears to spill over too. He had to tell him, if that was the only chance to fix this.

"Look, Ni… you know the picture I tweeted a few days ago? And what I wrote? Well… it got a lot of attention, as expected, but… you know Sophia, how jealous she gets and that stuff? I've been ignoring her for weeks, no… months actually and, I don't know, that Tweet was somehow one step too far and she called me this morning, yelling at me that she'd go and make all of this public, like _everything_ , if I didn't finally talk to her. So, I was really nervous and I was scared and I had to hurry to get there because she was so pissed already… but that's still no excuse, Ni, I should've told you this morning already, I just… I wasn't really myself and I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry…" It was all 100% true, even if Niall ignored it for a few more minutes, not flinching this time as Liam kissed his cheek again and again until he felt the younger boy trying to turn onto his back, so he let him, being confronted with his wet, red face now that caused his stomach to drop.

"B-But… " Niall wasn't looking at him, even if Liam was right above him, still having his arms on either side of the younger boy, not leaving him out of sight for one second, this hurt so much. "A-Are you… back together n-now?"

That's what he was thinking?! That Liam had met up with her because he had wanted to?! "No, Niall, we're not, okay? I met her so we could talk things out, you know, I had to convince her to, well, keep silent and stuff, I don't think she would've even wanted us to still be together at this point, neither did I, we just… finally talked about all of this and we ended it basically, officially now, because it's been over since months anyways, so…that's all that happened, Ni. I was just scared because I don't want someone to make the decision for us whether we wanna tell anybody or not, or actually, your decision, because I'm okay with whatever you want, baby."

"R-Really? That's a-all?" He had a hiccup now, which was so adorable that it almost got Liam cooing at him, relief washing through him as it was clearly noticeable that Niall believed him, that he wasn't mad anymore, so he leaned down, kissing a few of the tears away before nudging his nose against Niall's, feeling the boy's breath fastening up.

"Yeah, that's all, Nialler. What did you think why I left? I would never leave you like this if it wasn't something serious, but I promise it's not gonna happen again, I was… trying to protect you, but instead I just hurt you and I'm so sorry, Ni, please forgive me." Resting his forehead against the younger boy's, Liam let his eyes fall closed for a second, appreciating being allowed to be close to him again, about to pepper a few more kisses across Niall's face when Niall suddenly lifted his arms instead, wrapping them tightly around Liam's neck to keep him close.

"I forgive you…" Now this had Liam smiling without planning on, his eyes still stinging with tears as he pulled away just a little bit, enough to peck Niall's lips softly before attempting to sit up, automatically pulling Niall with him since he was clinging to him, hugging back in return.

"Thank you, Ni, that means a lot to me, I'll make it up to you, I promise, okay? It'll all be good now, babes, I'll make sure it will be." For Niall, Liam would do anything, the boy had his face buried in his shoulder, immediately complying as Liam softly grabbed his hips to pull the younger boy over into his lap, making sure to securely wrap him up in his arms then, his stomach getting warm from them being so close.

For a few minutes, they stayed like this without moving or talking, Liam pressed his eyes shut to appreciate it more, leaning his cheek against the boy's head, ridiculously happy about Niall twisting his fingers into Liam's shirt. God, he had missed that boy so much all day long, he always did actually, even if it was just for a few hours, but today had been horrible, like the longest they had been without each other in months. 

Which was crazy actually, considering that they were together almost 24/7 and neither of them had gotten sick of it yet, Liam didn't even know whether he would even manage to letting Niall get a teacher, simply because that'd limit their time together dramatically. He knew he had promised he'd think about this, that and maybe getting Niall something to do while they were on tour, but right now, Liam pushed that into the back of his head, he wasn't sure if he could deal with it if he couldn't keep an eye on the younger boy all the time.

Someone clearing their throat had Liam's eyes flying open, he had completely forgotten about Louis and Harry being in here as well, they must've heard the whole thing because they were smiling, which was good since Liam really wouldn't want to say it all over again. "Next time your _ex_ is making trouble, Li, you should tell us and we'll come along to make sure she's never even gonna take Niall's name into her mouth."

They were actually sitting on the floor, for which Liam felt bad because it was their room and he was here cuddling Niall and blocking their bed, but then again, they didn't seem too uncomfortable down there. "I sorted this out, but thanks, guys, I… I really appreciate it."

"We know you do, Li, and actually, that's not the only thing that you're gonna wanna thank us for." Now that was slightly confusing, even more now because Niall seemed to know what this was about as he lifted his head, smiling a tiny bit as Liam immediately kissed his forehead, making sure to still have a tight grip on him even as he used one hand to gently attempt and dry his face. 

"What else?" Liam had no idea, it was strange how his two bandmates were grinning at each other before looking at Niall, who blushed very obviously, moving his arms to wrap around Liam's neck, not saying anything though.

"Do you wanna tell him yourself, Ni?" Wait, this was about Niall?

"No, um… you do, it was your idea." He seemed to be equally as excited though, just too shy to actually say it, which wasn't too surprising though, Liam could barely bring himself to draw his eyes away from Niall's gorgeous face to look at Harry instead, who looked like he would explode if he didn't get it out right this second.

"Okay, well, while you were gone, we kinda found out that one, Zayn isn't as good at Fifa as he always says and two, Niall is a really gifted guitar player." This took Liam by surprise, he immediately looked at the younger boy, who was blushed pretty hard, which wasn't what Liam was thinking about though, it's just, why had Niall never told him that?

He got the answer right away. "'m not that good…"

"Niall, sh, we already had that conversation, you really are good or we wouldn't have agreed on what we did. Anyways, Li, remember when you asked us whether we knew something for Niall to do on tour? Well, since you're so anxious about leaving him out of your sight anyways and go on stage, we thought that it'd be a great idea if we just get him up there as well." Wait…

For a moment or two, Liam just stared at his bandmates, then at Niall and back again, trying to let this sink in, considering the possibility, that Niall really was that good, because Harry and Louis wouldn't have offered such a big thing to him if he wasn't, even if they liked him. And as he came to that realization, Liam couldn't help but smile like a fucking idiot, hell, this solved every single problem they might have had, this was prefect! "Did you talk to anyone already? Like, except for me?"

"No, we wanted to wait until we're all okay with it, Zayn already said yes, so, you're the last one, what'd you say?" Liam almost kissed Niall right on the lips out of pure excitement, hardly able to hold back, but he tried to play it cool then as he looked at the younger boy, who was actually biting his bottom lip, as if he was nervous, as if he thought Liam would maybe say no.

But he just smirked first of all before kissing the younger boy's forehead once more, trying to hold back his sudden urge to laugh. "I guess I'm gonna need you to give me a very long private session of you playing guitar before I can agree, babe."

Immediately, Niall flushed even harder, which hadn't seemed possible, but he did anyways, looking at Liam shyly, for only a second, smiling a little bit as he buried his face right back down into his shoulder, mumbling against his skin. "But only if it's just you and me…"

This had Liam laughing softly as he hugged Niall tighter, pressing a big kiss onto the top of his head, he had just been kidding of course, but he wouldn't say no if Niall would really do it, Liam couldn't fucking wait to actually hear him playing, god if he had only known! 

Before anyone else could interrupt the euphoria Liam was feeling right now, he let himself fall back onto the bed, still laughing as Niall squealed a bit because of course he had fallen right with Liam, on top of him, making a pouty face at the older boy then, his cheeks still pink. Liam couldn't have gotten that smirk to leave even if he had wanted to, so before Niall could say anything, he had brought one hand up to stroke the side of the younger boy's face, one arm tightly wrapped around his waist. "I love you, you know? So terribly much, you have no idea."

And he did, his adoration and fondness for the boy almost seemed overwhelming in that moment as Niall's eyes widened in surprise before he looked down, burying his face back into the crook of Liam's neck, almost making him cry from happiness, all emotional from what was happening, or what was about to happen. "I love you too, Li…more than anything else."

Things would definitely be good from now on, they had managed to sort it all out, no matter how messy things had been a few months ago, they had pulled through it and Liam was happier than he thought he could've ever been, he'd always have Niall by his side now if this worked out, and hell, he was determined to make sure it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last time Sophia has been mentioned, promise, you're all gonna love the last 2 chapters!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early update, enjoy :)

Liam felt rather creepy for staring almost all across the whole gym since about 5 minutes now, hardly taking any notice of whatever was going on next to him, his whole attention was focused on the half naked boy who was almost the furthest away from Liam that he could've possibly been. He was sweating too, seemingly exhausted from the exercises, but still laughing about something Josh must've said to him before, even though Liam wasn't really focused on him either, he had like a tunnel sight for Niall only, without even noticing somehow.

When had he gotten this tall anyways? And this arms and stomach, shouldn't Liam, out of everyone, have noticed the muscles the blonde boy had gotten? Well, he'd be lying to say he hadn't been closely taking in Niall's physical appearance, because he damn well had, since a few months especially, he had never seen someone growing up so fast in only two years. Not that it got him nostalgic or something, he just… noticed.

But Niall was going to turn 20 in a few months, so it fit, didn't it? Of course he would change and loose his round face and soft tummy and grow some chest hair and stubble, but hell, Liam wouldn't have thought that he could be so captivated by all of it.

"Um, Liam? You know you still got 40 more of those to do, right?" Liam snapped out of his thoughts, unwillingly drawing his eyes away from Niall's muscles flexing to nod at his trainer, trying very hard not to roll his eyes before getting back onto the floor, the imagine of the younger boy still floating around in his mind.

This was like at least the 15th time Liam had been staring at him in the gym, they never had to do anything together so at least no one noticed, plus, Liam wasn't sure either what would have happened if he had had to be close to Niall and his gorgeous laugh and naked, sweaty upper body. He never wanted to find out, but then again, somehow he did and he hated himself for even thinking about any of this at all.

He did do the exercises though, of course he did, maybe with even more ambition now that Niall was starting to look like he did, it's just, Liam didn't wanna fall behind, not that he was jealous, no, he was just very concerned somehow about Niall not seeing him as his source of comfort anymore, when he had been younger, Liam had been a lot taller and musclier than Niall, he still was but… not so much anymore.

Things had kinda changed between them, not in bad ways at all, just Niall had become a lot (A LOT) more confident, he was louder, funnier, more open and he truly was a part of their band now, Liam remembered the first time he had gone on stage with them as additional guitar player very clearly, how bloody nervous he had been, but now, on their second tour with Niall taking part, there was almost nothing left of the shy, little boy. 

The fans loved him too, though in the beginning, there had been so many rumors floating around the internet about who Niall actually was that Liam had lost track after only one day. They had never made it completely public, the whole story, Niall would forever be seen as some friend of Liam's family, which was fine because Liam was who he was seen with the most anyways.

Only now, Niall had literally become friends with everybody else as well, he wasn't that extremely dependent on Liam anymore, though he lived with him of course when they weren't on tour, but it had happened lately that they hadn't even been sharing a hotel room anymore.

The thing about that was, Liam was so, happy and so, so proud of that boy that his heart could've bursted with adoration for him, on the other hand though, he was kinda sad too, as much as Niall had always needed Liam close, Liam had needed him like this as well, and he still did somehow, but he kinda didn't wanna keep Niall from being his own person, so he didn't say anything at all, just silently watching from afar sometimes, trying not to think too hard about Niall's low cut tank tops or the way he ran his fingers through his (now finally professionally dyed) blonde hair.

Niall was so different from how he used to be, not in any bad ways though, it were good ways, and if anything, the only thing that had changed about Liam's feelings towards him, it was that no matter how hard he tried, he wouldn't ever be able to see Niall as a child again, they still had their age gap obviously, but it had almost gotten invisible during the past two years. Which wasn't so unusual though because that really was a hell lot of time.

"Alright, you can stop, we're done for today, good session, mate." Yeah, with a very good view especially, but Liam settled for just a smile anyways as he got up, his muscles aching a bit as he looked around, noticing that everyone else had gone as well, including Niall of course.

Since they had been in their hotel gym, Liam figured he could as well go shower into his room afterwards, he hadn't even brought any other clothes to begin with, or a towel of any sort, besides, he'd just have to take the elevator to the fifth floor. Or maybe not. "Li, wait!"

See, the thing was, Liam would've recognized that voice anywhere and in any situation, he was so used to it, he couldn't have helped turning around so fast that he almost stumbled into the wall. Smooth. "Hey…"

Niall's face was red, and sweaty, he had put his shirt back on now, but it was soaking through as he half jogged up to the older boy, a smile bigger than the sun plastered on his face. "Can I come shower in your room? I forgot my card inside mine and I don't wanna go ask Paul for the spare one when I look like this."

Before Liam could answer, Niall had already pressed himself into his side, giving him a half hug, apparently not minding their sweatiness and Liam decided that he didn't either, throwing his arm around the younger boy, trying to make it seem casual, not as if he was more excited about this than he should have been. "Sure, Nialler, no problem. You know, you don't have to ask him for a spare card at all, you can just stay with me."

It had been a joke, even though somehow it hadn't been but Liam laughed anyway, a little nervous maybe as they got into the elevator and he let his arm slip to push the button, feeling a little self conscious now to see himself in the mirror, he looked like a complete mess, and gross too, but it was just Niall for god's sake, he had showered with that boy. "You know what… maybe I should really do that. I mean, I'll still go to my room because my phone is there but I could come back to yours and we can hang out or something, I'm pretty knackered."

"We just had the whole day off." Liam threw in mindlessly instead of eagerly agreeing, because yeah, that sounded like a brilliant idea.

Luckily it was just Niall, so all he got was a chuckle and a playful punch in the arm as the blonde boy laughed shortly, goose bumps rising on Liam's arms that definitely came from being cold. "I just went to the gym for thirty minutes, I'm allowed to be tired, Liam, I'm still new to this, looking at you I can see why it doesn't really affect you."

"What do you mean… looking at me?" Just to be sure, Liam really would've liked an explanation, to not interpret this the wrong way, he watched Niall's face, feeling a sudden urge to pull him closer as Niall's eyes shifted, meeting Liam's.

"Well, _look_ at you." And that was all he said, chuckling as he pinched Liam's biceps for a second before simply slipping out the second the elevator doors opened up, as smooth as one could be. That had just been a compliment, right? Liam wasn't feeling excited for nothing, Niall had really just commented him on looking good, hadn't he?!

Feeling a ridiculous amount of pride swelling in his chest, Liam followed after the younger boy, not really surprised at him knowing the exact way to Liam's room, they still spent a lot of time together of course, and Liam still was the person Niall was closest to and vice versa, it just wasn't anymore how it had used to be.

"You can shower first if you want to." Because Liam now had to analyze every word Niall had said to him, besides it made the younger boy smile even bigger as he agreed, immediately walking off to the bathroom once they were in Liam's room, not even fully closing the door.

For a while, Liam did nothing else besides staring out his window, it was pretty dark already, but it was the only kind of distraction he could think of, he didn't really want to sit on his bed either when he was this sweaty, but thinking about Niall naked in his shower wasn't really what he should've done either. What the fuck was wrong with him anyways, how dare he think about Niall this way, _his_ little baby Niall. Except, he wasn't a little baby anymore, but he definitely still was Liam's only and no one would ever change that.

"Hey, Li! Can I borrow your towel?!" Right, Liam almost flinched at how loud Niall's voice sounded, quickly clearing his throat as he answered without really thinking about it.

"Sure." Wait, he only had one towel.

Before Liam had time to think of what this meant exactly, he got distracted as a very wet Niall walked out of the bathroom, the towel around his waist was so ridiculously loose and low, Liam almost felt as if he was doing this on purpose. But he wasn't, it was just Niall and he didn't think anything of it at all probably. "I'll borrow some of your clothes too, alright? Don't want anyone freaking out at seeing me walking down the hallway naked."

"Um… y-yeah… that wouldn't be too… well, anyways, just, leave the towel somewhere in my room then, yeah? I'll go, um… to the bathroom." Fuck, now Liam couldn't even talk properly anymore just because Niall had so little coverage, he really needed to get himself together, if his behavior around the blonde boy got worse then someone might notice soon. 

"I'll just bring it inside then, so you won't have to be cold when you're done, alright?" Liam's shower wasn't even tainted for god's sake, did Niall really think that this was normal behavior? Was he really so comfortable with Liam, that he didn't mind walking in on him showering?! Probably, because what other reason could there have been, they had been through so much together, looking at it from that point of view, then Liam was the only creepy one here.

Still, he nodded shortly and mumbled a 'thanks' before disappearing into the bathroom, closing the door though, his cheeks flushed brightly as he pulled his clothes off in haste, trying to get under the shower as quickly as possible, a COLD shower if possible, and preferably before Niall stumbled in here. 

It didn't really go too smoothly though, mostly because Liam got shower gel into his eyes just when Niall walked in announcing that 'I'm not looking!' and well, Liam would never know if he actually had because he couldn't exactly see anything, or turn around, or do anything besides trying not to let out a groan in pain. Liam was so pathetic, it was really getting embarrassing by now.

Afterwards, Liam still tried to be quick, even though Niall had left, but he'd come back for sure and as lucky as Liam was (not at all), the boy would walk in on him in the process of getting dressed or something. Afterwards, he dried himself off with the towel that Niall had used as well, all over himself, right, Liam, fucking pull yourself together, you've fucking shared everything with this boy already, it's just a bloody towel. 

Of course, Liam didn't manage to pull himself together at all, he made sure to get dressed and rid of that towel as fast possible before simply slipping into bed, turning the TV on as some background noise and getting on his phone for distraction, very grateful for the blanket covering his lap. Like, not that Liam had THAT many dirty thoughts about Niall, he was just trying to prepare himself for the very worst scenario possible. Even though knowing the younger boy way too well, he would've just laughed anyways because he always did, there was nothing in the world that could've brought this boy's mood down for just a second. 

There was nothing on that Liam would've enjoyed to watch, so he mindlessly scrolled through Twitter instead, not doing anything though, especially not after he found himself staring at Niall's profile pic. It wasn't even an exciting picture to begin with, he had much better ones on his phone, really old ones as well, like from two years ago, but looking at those would've been more than weird somehow, because of the way Liam now saw Niall so completely different that he couldn't even believe anymore how he had always kissed him on the _lips_ , they hadn't done that for a year now, or maybe longer, Liam wasn't so keen on thinking back to this, stupid as he was, he might have started imaging how it'd feel like if they did it again, now. But they couldn't and also wouldn't so it was, whatever.

When Niall came back, he had a bag of crisps in his hand, Liam's clothes on from before, and yet another smirk on his face as he ran his fingers through his damp hair, though his fingertips were orange from eating, but that didn't seem to stop him. "Anything good on?"

"Not really… I wish we had a DVD player or something." Because then Liam would've known exactly what to watch, the most horrible horror movie he could somehow manage to find, there was one thing that hadn't changed about Niall, though he tried to overplay it while the movie was on, afterwards he turned into the cuddliest boy on the planet. 

Which also happened when he drank, because he did, sometimes, Liam hadn't let him until he had turned 18, but the more Niall had become more open with everyone else, the more time he had spent with them as well, which included going out, with Harry and Louis mostly at first, Liam had come along though, but he never had more than a glass. It was funny somehow, how he had stopped drinking because of Niall, because he had wanted to stay back with him instead, and now that he could just take the boy along, he didn't want to drink either because he felt the need to watch out for him. Well, maybe also a little bit because Niall got clingy as hell when he was tipsy and Liam wasn't too unhappy about that.

"Well, then I guess you'll just have to talk to me, Li." Niall laughed loudly, not hesitating before simply climbing underneath the same blanket, on the other side though, with some distance but Liam was certain he could feel the boy's warmth, he was radiating it somehow, warmth and happiness. "Or we get your laptop and look for something on iTunes."

He had settled down now, after a lot of shifting, continuing to shove crisps into his mouth, which he probably shouldn't have done, but it was impossible for that boy to put on any weight, well if it wasn't for some muscles apparently. "Yeah… let me go and get it. And Niall, please try and not get too much of this into my bed, okay? I'm not a big fan of turning at night and lying in a mess of crisp crumbles. Or having orange sheets."

"Geez, Liam, I'm watching out, okay? See?" And then, just as Liam had gotten to his feet, turning around at what the younger boy had sad, he immediately regretted it at seeing him _sucking_ at his finger tips. Jesus. "Anyways, saw you at the gym before."

"Yeah, I know, Niall, you came to shower in my room because of that just fifteen minutes ago, remember?" Liam couldn't help but chuckle as he went through his suitcase, they wouldn't stay here for very long so he hadn't bothered unpacking much, it still took a bit though, because Niall had created a mess before while looking for some clothes.

"Yeah, but I meant I saw you working out, I mean I watched you for a while when I was done." Oh, that was a bit different.

"Uh, why?" Once he had finally found his laptop and the charger, Liam came back to his bed, trying hard to act and sound casual, as if he didn't actually care, but his cheeks getting a bit hotter probably gave him away, he couldn't believe Niall had been watching him while he had been thinking about _Niall_ , how twisted was that?

"I don't know, I wanted to wait for you actually, but then I had to pee and when I came back you were done already. Anyways, looked really good." What was Niall on about? And he seemed to be serious as well, he wasn't even too smily as Liam threw a look over at his face while turning on his laptop, trying hard not to scoot closer to the younger boy, they only had one blanket, he had to be careful. "I mean you, not the exercises, they looked boring as hell."

Niall was saying things like that all the time like 'you're so hot, Liam' and 'wow, you look great today', but Liam never took it seriously because that was just Niall, constantly blurting out stuff, so that's why he shrugged it off again, not even really blushing over it, just feeling his stomach twist a little bit. "Thanks… I saw you too, Ni."

"Well, I assume I didn't look very much into it though, I hate working out." Then he shrugged and Liam chuckled unwillingly, even though he had been nervous two seconds before, but being around this boy, you could never go a long time feeling anything besides happy.

"I know you do, Nialler, imagine if you would've been good at singing instead, then you would have to do as much as me and the boys do now." Somehow Liam wished that it were this way, so Niall could've come along to interviews and photoshoots and all that, but he knew that even if the boy had been a brilliant singer, they couldn't have gotten him in, this was the best possible position for him, lead guitarist now, and at least Liam could constantly run up to him on stage and sling his arm around him and whatnot, kiss his cheek sometimes, even if it probably got a lot of fans suspicious, but it was whatever, no one could keep Liam from doing what he loved. "So, what do you wanna watch? We should watch a horror movie, I haven't seen one in-"

"No horror movie, Li, I wanna watch something funny, give the laptop to me." And there Liam's chance went to get Niall scared, but at least the boy leaned over a lot closer now as he pulled the laptop over into his own lap, their thighs were almost brushing and they would soon probably, because Niall tended to sit too close to people, not only to Liam though, plus they had to both be able to see the screen.

They ended up watching a movie they had seen a hundred times before, but Niall still laughed over all the same jokes and even though Liam didn't find them that amusing, he couldn't help but chuckle as well, because of the younger boy though, he simply infected Liam with his mood all the time, just like that and Liam would just stop worrying and turn his brain off, just enjoy being with Niall and that even though everyone else loved him as well, being allowed to call Niall _his_ best friend.

"You know what this reminds me of?" The movie was done to two thirds now, Niall had scooted so close, his head was right next to Liam's shoulder on the pillow, touching it, he sounded pretty tired already, which didn't keep him from laughing though.

"What?" Liam asked back, more captivated by the way Niall moved a bit, resting his flat palm against Liam's stomach under the blanket, it felt as if though he was burning a hole into his shirt with that action.

"When we watched this movie for the very first time, on your couch, at home, before any of this happened, you know, when I was only 17 and I thought you were gonna abandon me on the side of a freeway?" Though he chuckled, Liam couldn't help but roll his eyes a bit, he could still remember this all very clearly, but it made him smile unwillingly too, the fact that Niall could remember it as well.

Still, he couldn't exactly let Niall just say this and not reply, back then, Liam would've probably killed himself over that comment. "But you know that I would've never done that, don't you?"

"Of course I know that, Li." He laughed again, quietly, easing Liam's worries a little bit because of how genuine he had sounded, anyways, they were long over this, Liam shouldn't have had felt bad in the first place, it's been years.

Still, before he could say something else, Niall had propped himself up on his elbow, both of them ignoring the screen for a second looking at each other, and just when Liam thought he'd have to look away because of how blinding Niall's smile was, the younger boy leaned in even closer, still with his hand on Liam's stomach, pressing his lips to Liam's temple, almost causing him to choke.

"Thanks." It was quite funny too, that Niall had kissed him there before putting his head back down, because it used to be what Liam had done to him, kissing his forehead and all that, it made it even more obvious, that Niall wasn't quite so little anymore, but still, it caused Liam to feel a pinch that shouldn't have been there. Back then, those kisses had simply been a way to show Niall affection, but in a completely platonic, brotherly way, and Liam hated himself for wishing that that wasn't how Niall still saw him, as his brother. 

And the reason for that kept Liam awake, with a tingling temple where Niall's lips had been, even after the younger boy had fallen asleep with the movie still on, his side pressing into Liam's, hand on the older boy's stomach still, giving Liam an urge to wrap his own around it, which he did, after quite some hesitation. "You're welcome, babe…"

 

———————

 

It was usual after a concert that they were all hyped up, not at all ready to go to sleep even though it was late, and Liam's head felt like it was buzzing, he was laughing about something with Louis as they came off stage, the faint memory of how he had turned to look at Niall at some point, sweat glistering on his forehead, his hair sticking to his skin, yet he had smiled so widely, he was always so happy up there and Liam knew that he appreciated all of this, maybe more than anyone else. It had given him a really warm feeling, maybe even a bit nostalgia, thinking about how well everything had worked out for them, for Niall, and how grateful Liam was, for having managed to make Niall happy, like he had always wanted to.

"Good, show, right? I love when they scream so loud I can't hear properly for five hours afterwards." Liam couldn't really tell whether Louis had been sarcastic or not, but he laughed along anyways, because it was true, his ears were ringing as well, like usual. "Anyway, you comin' to our bus for a while? We'll probably stay there instead of the hotel room, Zayn's coming too, we might go out later too, to come down a bit."

"Yeah, sure, let me ask Niall too." It was Liam's standard answer, Niall was always with them, in that sense, he was more part of this band than part of their musicians, Liam knew that everyone laughed about that behind his back, telling Niall he had a special status because of Liam and so on, it wasn't mean, just banter, and it was true anyways, but not just because of Liam, the other guys preferred him as well over any of their staff and band,

And sometimes, that fact was too obvious for Liam to ignore. "Don't think you have to anymore, actually." 

He looked into the direction Louis was nodding, a bit confused until he felt his stomach drop, the smile fading a little bit from his face as he saw Harry and Niall joking around, a little too hyperactive, Niall's arm slung around the older boy's shoulders. "Oh… well, let's go then, yeah?"

Louis gave him a look for that, it seemed he was about to say something, but he just nodded instead, looking slightly confused, about which Liam couldn't have cared any less right now. He was pretty sure that he wasn't jealous, he had always been happy about Niall getting along with the others as well, that they had taken care of him when Liam hadn't been there or something, but still, he hadn't normally felt that slight drop of his stomach, or the urge to go over and forcefully pull Niall over into his own arms. Which was ridiculous of course, Niall liked him the most out of everyone, there was no need to be jealous, no one could compete with Liam anyways.

Still, his excitement from the concert seemed to have been drained from him within 15 minutes, Liam tried really hard to not let it show though, he couldn't need anybody to comment on it, maybe even Niall above everyone, because that boy always noticed everything.

Not today though, because they didn't even get into the same van to drive back to the hotel and the busses, Liam was with Zayn only, who wasn't very good company because he was on his phone talking to his mum, and once he hung up, he suddenly looked at Liam, a somewhat normal expression on his face as he caused the other boy to snap out of his thoughts immediately, with the only topic really that could've gotten him to pay attention. "You seen Niall and Louis tonight?"

"What?" What about Niall and Louis?! Liam had been worried about Niall and _Harry_!

"Oh, I thought you noticed." Zayn shrugged a bit, yawning before leaning back, obviously not noticing Liam almost jumping at him, in need of an immediate answer. "I always thought you're the only one Niall ever kissed on the cheek."

Liam almost choked at that, finally not thinking about one of his bandmates joking around with Niall, no, now it was his OTHER bandmate being _kissed_ by Niall, when the fuck had that happened, Liam had been creepily staring at Niall every five seconds, he was pretty sure he should've noticed something like this going on. "Oh, um, did he?"

It was so bloody hard to act casual, Liam thought he'd have to burst as he forced out a laugh, very focused on not meeting Zayn's eyes in any way. "Yeah, it's not a big deal anyways, I was just surprised, that's all."

"Yeah, it's… whatever. I mean they're good friends, right? Everyone's friends with Niall." The last sentence came out a bit bitter, for which Liam felt really guilty, he was proud of Niall after all, for becoming this open after everything that had happened, but he either had something in his stomach causing a weird knot to form or his body didn't really agree with his head on that topic. So Liam quickly cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair, desperate to not talk or think about this anymore, it was just Louis and Harry after all, right? "So, you really wanna go out tonight? I mean it's pretty late already."

"Yeah, I do kinda, we haven't been in a while, you know? And Niall really wants to as well, I asked him before, you should come too." Had Liam just misheard that? What exactly had he missed out on, that suddenly every single person in this band was so fond of Niall?! Didn't they have someone else to be obsessed with? Maybe this was Liam's fault, maybe because he hadn't been very touchy with Niall lately, or spent enough time with him, now that he thought about it, a week ago when they had slept in the same bed because Niall had slept in, Liam had realized that they hadn't done this in a while actually.

And then as he had started thinking even more about it, he had noticed that they hadn't really done much alone at all, that he always only knew whatever Niall was up to because he watched him creepily, but secretly as well, because he couldn't have anyone noticing. Maybe Liam needed to just be clearer about it, he needed to stop worrying about his feelings towards Niall changing into something else and just start to actually spend more time with him again, he really wanted it to go back to how it had been, like them sharing hotel rooms without even having to talk about it and Liam not feeling weird about pulling the boy close and kissing his cheek, they had to get back to this, and Liam had to stop watching Niall as if he wanted to rip the boy's clothes off of him or something. It was Niall after all.

"Sure, sounds good." This time, Liam managed a somewhat genuine smile, he was definitely not going to let Zayn and Niall go anywhere by themselves.

When they got the bus though, Liam started doubting his decision a little bit already, the others were already there, on the couch, Niall was shirtless, screaming something at the screen, obviously blaming his controller for whatever was going on, but Liam still sucked in a breath, suddenly determined to make things in his head alright again, he'd just do whatever he would've done before he had gotten into those arguments with himself regarding Niall.

Except, it didn't exactly go as planned when Liam dropped into the empty space next to Niall, trying not to be too close, but also not too far away, watching them playing for a while and waiting until Zayn was busy with something else to not notice before trying to casually drop his arm around Niall's shoulders. It lasted two seconds before Niall shrugged him off. "Back off, Li, I gotta win here!"

Not only had he managed to getting everyone to notice what Liam had been doing, but he also caused him to flinch slightly, though he fucking knew that Niall was a passionate Fifa player, it still hurt a bit as he leaned back, trying really hard to not let it show in his face, looking down. "Sorry."

Niall did win in the end, very close obviously because Louis groaned from the other end of the couch and Niall pumped his fist in the air, as thrilled as he always was about beating anyone. "Yes! Did you see, Liam? I won."

He was probably only talking to him directly because Liam was still looking down, at his phone now, trying not to get too excited about this, he was still a little taken aback because of before, Niall didn't usually push him off. "Yeah, good job."

It sounded rather bored, though Liam was anything besides that, but it was still better than sounding as depressed and sad as he felt in reality, what if he couldn't manage to force things back into place? He just wanted to spend every second of the day with Niall again and at the same time stop being worried about whenever the boy was with someone else that wasn't him, he didn't wanna feel this way, Niall didn't belong to him, he was older now, this had been bound to happen. "I want a rematch tomorrow, Niall, it's just because performing on stage is way more exhausting than what you do, you just stand there and move your fingers a little."

"Hey, if I wasn't there then you wouldn't be singing anything at all, Haz." They were just teasing each other, which was the only reason why Liam didn't intervene, that and because he was still a bit hurt, pretending that he hadn't just typed today's date followed by 'Niall kisses Louis' into the Twitter search bar. "Anyways, I'm doing much more than just moving my fingers, I'd like to see you trying to play."

There were no pictures of it yet, Liam didn't even find one tweet about it or anything, which was rare, maybe it was still too soon for that, why would Zayn lie about it? "I don't have to, I could pay someone else to do it instead of you."

"But not as good." Niall was so confident, he really was, it wasn't that he was cocky or anything, he would've never ever said anything like this if they hadn't been joking around and everyone knew it, Louis groaned, obviously getting up now or something because he was probably tired of their play fighting. "And not someone who the fans like too."

"Oh, shut up, Nialler don't be so cocky." Apparently Harry shoved him then, though he laughed when Niall did too and Liam almost rolled his eyes, he was so annoyed and not at all jealous. "How much do they pay you, anyway? Just so I know once I start auditioning people, you know?"

That was a really funny topic actually, because Niall got paid more than anyone else would've gotten paid in his position, which was thanks to Liam, in the beginning, Niall had been really self conscious about all of this, thinking he wasn't good enough and all, so to boost his confidence a little, Liam had insisted they told the younger boy he'd get paid more because he was so good, well, he really was good, but the money had actually come from what Liam would've normally earned. Still did partly, not that it mattered, he always paid everything for Niall anyways, at least when they were together and the younger boy let him. "That's private, Harry, and you should probably know how much it is, seeing as I'm working for you."

"Well, obviously it's not a lot, you can't even afford an own place to live at." Could this conversation get anymore into a direction Liam didn't want it to go?

"No, I could, actually." Very easily, Liam could confirm that, but he wouldn't because he was still scrolling through twitter and furiously refreshing the page, thinking about randomly posting pictures of himself and Niall just so the fans would talk about how great they would be as a couple again. Right, he was trying to stop this, this was not right.

"Then why are you still living in Liam's smelly guest room?" Because he loved Liam that's why, right? 

Or not. "I might get an own place, I don't know, I've never thought about it actually."

"You should, then me and Louis can come over randomly and Liam won't bitch at us anymore for not putting our plates away ten seconds after we're done eating." Was this a fucking joke?! Liam was so bloody close to looking up and punching Harry straight in the face, which wasn't like him at all, but what the hell? He was sitting right there next to them, hopefully looking zoned out instead of on the edge of tears and losing his self control. Since when was Niall thinking about moving out?! Hadn't he thought about talking about it with Liam first, weren't they supposed to be best friends who had lived together for almost three years now?!

"That's not very nice, Harry." That was all Niall said about it, great, at least he wasn't laughing like Liam's curly haired bandmate was, maybe he even thought he was being funny or something. 

"It's true though. But anyways, you should think about it, it'd be fun." Fun?! "What do you think, Li? Aren't you sick of putting away Niall's dirty socks?"

Now that he had been addressed, Liam had to look up unwillingly, with the most bored and neutral expression he could bring himself to wear, feeling Niall's eyes on him but not even accidentally looking at the boy's face, just at Harry, shrugging. Fine, if they wanted to play, then they would, if Niall made cryptic comments about wanting to move out, Liam would make cryptic comments about not minding. "I don't know, haven't thought about it, I guess, it's Niall's decision anyways, whatever he wants to do."

This could be interpreted either way, but definitely not in a 'Please stay, Niall, I'm begging you' - way, because that's how Liam felt in reality, but he looked down again immediately afterwards, refreshing his phone once again, but there still was no picture or anything, had Zayn lied? Why would he though, that made no sense at all. 

They changed the topic luckily, once Louis came back from wherever he had been at, probably the bathroom or something, Liam didn't ask or actually care, his whole motivation from before was simply gone now, if Niall was already considering to fucking move out, COULD they actually go back to how it had been? And then again, that's not even what Liam wanted, he just… he didn't know what it was exactly, he just missed Niall in some way, and he wanted to constantly hug him and pull him closer, be sure that Niall still loved him the most, but he was too scared to actually bring it up in front of the younger boy, because what right did Liam have to do that? To whine about something ridiculous like this when he wasn't even sure what was going on himself? How had it come so far?

An hour later or so, it was Zayn then who suggested that they should still go out, as expected, Niall was more than thrilled, as were Louis and Harry, all of them getting up, getting ready to leave, except for Liam. What was the point in coming along? Normally he always did, to watch out for Niall, make sure to bring him home safely again, but did the other boy even want that? "Li, come on."

It was Niall who lightly touched Liam's foot with his, stretching his hand out towards him with a cheeky grin on his face, apparently expecting him to immediately jump up. "I… I think I'll stay here, actually."

"What, why?" Niall's face had fallen immediately, Liam didn't pay a lot of attention though as he pushed himself up, ignoring Niall's outstretched arm or the looks of the others as he pretended to stretch and then yawn, reaching a new low. 

"I'm pretty tired and stuff, I don't know, you guys go, I'll lie down for a while, maybe it'll get better." Or maybe he'd just cry and then not do anything about his misery, that sounded a lot like Liam.

"What? Are you feeling sick or anything? Are you okay?" The thing was, Niall really did sound worried, but Liam hardly took any notice, he just shrugged it off, shoving his phone into his pocket, not really interested in discussing this now, they could just leave or something, he was so done with this day. Or night actually, it was probably close to midnight.

"I'm fine, I just wanna sleep. Have fun, yeah?" Even though this had originally been the bus Harry and Louis had been in while driving here, Liam didn't bother asking whether it was alright if he slept here, they'd all probably only come back in a few hours and they could as well go to the other bus or even their hotel room. Somewhere Liam didn't wanna go at all, it was too much space there, and he'd feel even worse being there on his own. 

Maybe someone else said anything, but they probably didn't care too much anyways, even if Liam had agreed before, he definitely would not come along now to watch Niall and Harry keeping on joking around, or Niall getting drunk and then, who knows, maybe he'd kiss Louis again, and maybe Zayn too while he was at it. Not that he was someone to do that, but he definitely was very affectionate, usually he had only been with Liam though, so it hurt pretty badly actually to think about it, it's not that his had happened only tonight, but Liam was suddenly painfully aware of everything.

As he closed the door that led to the bunks, he felt tears burning in his eyes, choosing any of the bunks without really thinking about it, not even bothering to take his jeans off or anything, there was no way he'd actually fall asleep anyways, he just lied on top of the sheets, moving his arm over his face to block the light out he had forgotten to turn off.

Why was all of this such a problem? Why couldn't he just go and be with Niall as much as he wanted to? Tell him that he never wanted him to move out and that they should share rooms again? That he missed him? Liam knew the answer, deep down, also why his thoughts always seemed to revolve around the boy, why he always found himself staring at him on stage and in the gym, Liam knew but he didn't wanna admit it to himself, he needed Niall too much as to mess things up completely because of something like this. He had to get himself together.

Fifteen minutes passed of Liam just lying there, being tortured by his thoughts, he turned around at some point, facing the wall instead as he checked his phone once again, not searching for what Zayn had told him anymore, but rather just pictures of Niall now, Liam loved looking at him while they were on stage so much, but he always had to rely on the fans for that, wouldn't really be very subtle to be walking around holding a camera into Niall's face.

There was some sound that almost caused Liam to sit up and check, the boys had left a few minutes after he had lied down, he had heard them, maybe one of them had forgotten something, he wouldn't go and check now, he'd just pretend to be asleep or something.

For a while, Liam scrolled through the pictures, getting a little suspicious though when he didn't hear the door again, almost about to get up this time when he heard the foot steps coming closer, so he locked his phone, silently praying that it wasn't Zayn because he would've jumped at him now to find out whether the thing between Niall and Louis had really happened.

Apparently it was no one though, because Liam didn't hear anything at all except for very quiet footsteps, so he was still thinking about that it was one of the boys having forgotten something in here, well, that was until he heard some more moving and then all of a sudden, someone was putting a blanket from one of the other bunks over him, causing him to turn over onto his back, more than confused. "I… I thought you were asleep, sorry…"

It was Niall. Niall, who had come back here, just to tug Liam in, he was smiling a little, not as brightly as usually though, a bit awkwardly sitting on the edge of the bunk, crouching a little because it wasn't that high while Liam just stared, hoping that it wasn't written all over his face, that Niall couldn't hear his heart speeding up. "No, I was just… why'd you come back, I thought you really wanted to go out?"

All the younger boy did was shrug slightly, his smile was still there though as he playing around with the edge of the blanket, pulling it a little higher. "I was too worried about you when we were about to get in the taxi, so I told the lads I'd stay here with you instead. Are you feeling bad?"

Yeah, now Liam was feeling _really_ bad, he hadn't planned on ruining Niall's night because of his dumb jealousy or whatever it was that turned him into such an idiot, but his heart was fluttering too at the younger boy's words, and as much as he wanted to stop himself, he still returned the smile, a little bit at least. "No, Ni, I'm just tired, I guess… you didn't have to come back, you know, I didn't wanna ruin your night or anything."

"You're not ruining it, Li, it was my decision, I don't go out having fun when something's up with you, you're always making sure I'm alright as well. Remember when I was sick and throwing up and you still didn't leave even though it was disgusting as hell and I got it all over the… well anyways, is everything alright, Li? You seemed a bit… I don't know, a little off, um… the past week actually, I wondered if… if it's my fault, did I do anything or so? Or did anything else happen?" Halfway through, Niall had started staring at his hands, twisting his fingers together, which was something he rarely did nowadays, he wasn't nervous anymore usually, or shy, but he kinda seemed to be now while Liam felt that his heart had to burst. God, he loved Niall so much, he hated himself for not being able to just talk to him like a normal person, it was NIALL after all, but something was holding him back, maybe his own problem with confessing it to himself.

"You didn't do anything, Ni, I don't know… I'm sorry if I've been acting weird or something, it's nothing, I'm fine." While saying this, Liam stirred a little, feeling nervous about lying so obviously, to the one person that meant the very most to him above all.

Somehow, he was quite sure Niall wasn't really believing him, but he was biting his bottom lip now, in that one way that had Liam feeling hot and cold at the same time, which he absolutely hated, but as much as he tried, he also couldn't look away. Why did Niall have to look so bloody good to begin with? "But you know you can tell me everything, right? And I won't judge or anything? I'm always there for you, Liam, like you're always there for me too."

"I know, Nialler…" Liam mumbled before sighing, propping himself up on his elbows, knowing that he'd never actually bring it over his lips, he wouldn't even know what to say to begin with. Hey, I kinda miss you but I never do anything about it? Hey, please sleep in my bed? Hey, Niall, I think you're really hot and I creepily stare at you whenever we're in the gym even though a few years ago I was kissing you goodnight every day? Yeah, right. "But I'm fine, okay? Don't worry about me, or anything, it's… it's all good, and we're good too. We always are, right?"

"Yeah…" Niall didn't seem as thrilled and excited as he usually was, his smile had faded a bit, not looking at Liam anymore. "You know… because of before, because of what Harry said… I never thought about getting my own place, because… I don't want to, I never saw a need to even consider it, that's why, I just… wanted you to know that. I mean, if you don't want me to live with you anymore, then-"

"Niall." Thank god, at least this had Liam's smile coming back, genuinely this time, he felt a little too happy maybe as he mindlessly reached out with his hand, putting it over Niall's in his lap, waiting until the boy looked at him again. "I'd never want you to go anywhere, babe, you know that, and you never have to doubt that, okay? You know how much I love y-….yeah."

It wasn't that they never told each other anymore, Liam just felt like he would say it TOO genuinely right now, that Niall would somehow hear it, so he faked a cough instead, wanting to pull his hand back only to find out that Niall was holding on, smirking a little bit as he brushed his thumb along Liam's, giving him goose bumps. "I love you too, Liam. And thank you, I know you wouldn't throw me out, I just… I just thought we've been living together for quite a while now and you never even got a choice."

"I don't need a choice, Ni." Hell, Liam wasn't even sure how he'd feel if he had to be alone in his apartment again, he was so used to having Niall around, which was also why he didn't like having hotel rooms all to himself.

"Thanks…" He bit his lip again as he smiled down at the older boy, if Liam hadn't known better, he would've said that Niall was blushing, but it was hard to tell and the moment passed by too suddenly, Niall had already jumped back up just a second later. "Alright, now, I'll go and get you something so you'll feel better, okay? And stay here, I'll be right back".

Before Liam could throw in that he wasn't sick or anything, Niall had already half fallen into his bunk, sloppily pressing his lips to Liam's forehead, half running off afterwards and leaving the older boy with both a surprised face, a stomach full of butterflies and his nose filled with Niall's cologne, though the boy hadn't even showered after the concert, he still managed to smell this good. Liam didn't exactly have it easy, did he?

Niall didn't take long at all to come back, Liam tried to clear his mind meanwhile, which didn't work in any way, deciding to go sit on the floor between the bunk beds, because it wasn't really possible to properly sit anywhere else and after all, Liam wasn't actually sick or too tired. 

"Why'd you get out of bed, Li, I told you to stay." Playfully shaking his head, Niall pretended to be mad for a second, which Liam barely noticed, he was much more focused on what Niall was carrying, his guitar and a mug. "Here."

"What is it?" No matter what actually, his stomach felt warmer already from the fact that Niall had obviously put thought into this, he was getting down slowly now, trying not to spill anything before handing the mug over.

"Hot chocolate. I know you can't sleep whenever you drink coffee, and that you don't like milk alone and we didn't have the tea you like best, so…" Grinning happily, Niall settled down next to Liam, pulling the guitar into his lap then while Liam tried not to mindlessly pin Niall to the ground and cover his face in kisses, why was he making it so, so hard not being absolutely crazy for him?!

"Thanks, Nialler… also for coming back to stay with me, it…it means a lot." More than that, especially after Liam had started doubting everything, at least one thing was sure now, he could be certain that Niall really did still like him the most, or he would've gone out, but no, he had put Liam above his own enjoyment and having a fun night out, which, knowing how much Niall loved going out, said something.

"No need to thank me, Li, I like when it's just us anyways… we haven't been alone much lately, I kinda, um… miss it." Why hadn't he said that earlier?! Liam would've showered him in love, or actually… no, he wouldn't have, because he was too nervous and unsure to do that, in fact, it may even be his own fault that they hadn't been alone much, now he felt guilty.

"Yeah… me too." Which was the truth, but Liam could only admit this after the other boy had said it was well, not knowing what the reaction was though because he refused to check while Niall was strumming his guitar softly, suddenly letting his head sink onto Liam's shoulder, that's how close they were sitting. Liam almost emptied the mug all over himself, quickly bringing it to his lips to take a sip instead, trying to keep it down.

"You know… there's something I meant to ask you, because, well… I kinda had the feeling you were isolating yourself a little bit, and if I'm wrong then ignore me, just… do you feel lonely?" That question was more than unexpected, Liam almost choked, before wanting to answer with 'no' immediately, until he stopped to think about it, like seriously. Yeah, he was constantly surrounded by people all day long, but then again, what Niall had said was true, he had in fact been isolating himself a little bit, because he had been trying to figure out what it was that he felt for the younger boy and how to solve it, but… yeah, he did feel lonely, a lot actually, especially at night, wishing Niall would at least be lying in a bed a few meters away, but he couldn't tell him that, could he?

"I… I guess I do, sometimes… everyone does probably, once a while at least." This sounded a lot less worse than speaking the actual truth, but at least Liam finally found the courage to letting his cheek rest against Niall's head, letting his eyes fall closed at the familiar soft hair tickling his skin. "Why?"

"I don't know… just because, you know, because Harry and Louis have each other, and then Zayn, he's always on the phone with Perrie and in general, everyone around seems to be in a relationship, and you haven't been in one since almost three years now, I just thought… maybe you're missing it and feeling lonely because of it." Did he miss it? Liam had no idea, he sure as hell didn't miss his ex though, maybe just the feeling of being someone's boyfriend, yeah, he had quite liked that, but then again, it wasn't the reason why he felt lonely and he didn't wanna bluntly lie to Niall like that, even if it seemed harmless.

"I don't know if I miss it… I guess I miss certain things, like knowing another person would always have your back, and having someone who you can share everything with, not having to sleep in and wake up alone, that sorta stuff, you know?" While talking, Liam had certainly realized that he had just described what Niall and he used to have as well, on another level though, and they still did have it in some ways, Liam knew Niall always had his back, just… he wanted more than just that, and he was scared because he was well aware of what it was exactly that he wanted.

"No." Niall's answer simply consisted of that one word, Liam would've lifted his head to check his phone, his eyes already flying open as the younger boy quickly continued, softly playing his guitar again. "I mean, no, I don't know what it's like, I… I've never been in a relationship with anyone… as you know, probably, I mean I had one or two girlfriends when I was a kid but that hardly counts, does it? So I don't really know what's like, I mean, I… I do get curious, but… I wouldn't just go pick anyone just to try it, you know, I want it to mean something."

"Yeah… it's okay though, Ni, that you were never in a relationship, I mean, it can wait, trust me." Could wait twenty years because Liam would go psycho seeing Niall with anyone else, he just knew it, he'd lose his damn fucking mind, and that didn't even have anything to do with being protective over him, still.

"I guess so… and at least I did have my first kiss already anyways, right?" Well, that was one way to getting Liam to blush deeply again, especially as Niall chuckled, obviously having no problems talking about this topic.

"Well, I-I mean… it wasn't like…proper kissing what we did, just…" Why exactly had Liam thought it'd be a good idea to stop those pecks on the mouth anyways? Niall had never complained or anything, they could've still had this if Liam hadn't been such a bloody idiot, still was, actually.

"I know, I mean, you just saw me as a kid, right? That would've been really weird." Yeah, VERY weird, that was part of Liam's problem, the fact that this was the same person he was sitting here with that he had had in his lap after a nightmare just a few years ago.

"Yeah." He forced a laugh, hearing Niall joining for a second before falling into silence that was only filled by the sound of his guitar and Liam taking another sip before placing the mug next to him on the floor, thoughts running wild, Niall's head on his shoulder felt like it weighed more than twice its weight, but it was good somehow, at least then Liam could be sure he was there.

As the younger boy's voice broke through the almost silence again, Liam almost jumped, and then again because of what Niall said, almost whispered actually. "Do you still look at me like that? As if I'm a child, I mean?"

"No." His answer came embarrassingly fast, so fast in fact, Liam blushed wildly, furiously looking for a way to make this funny or something, but he only came up with the dumbest idea possible. "Do you see me as some really old man?"

At least he got to hear Niall's giggle, he sounded carefree, and happy, as if he had wanted this conversation to go exactly like that. "No, I don't, Li, we're just two years apart anyways, I mean you do look older, but I wouldn't want you to shave your beard over this, it suits you. Actually, I… I've never seen you like that, maybe the first few days after we met, but I never saw you as much older than me, I used to pretend that you were my big brother though, but only for a while, I didn't anymore afterwards. And how weird would it have been, to ask your brother to show you how a kiss on the lips feels like?"

Right, now they were back at the kisses, but Liam didn't feel too nervous about it anymore, mostly because Niall had just taken a really big fear of his away, he didn't see them as brothers, that was a beginning. "Yeah, maybe… I mean, it was like that for me, kinda, but you know that's also why… why I stopped doing it, because I didn't see you as that anymore and I thought… I thought you'd feel awkward if I kept going. I mean… we had to stop at some point, right?"

"Yeah, right…" Didn't sound too convinced, but Liam found his argumentation very logical, even if he regretted making this decision, and he probably always would. "I wouldn't have felt awkward though."

"What, you wouldn't feel awkward if I kissed you on the lips right now?" God, Liam was so stupid bursting out shit like this, he hadn't even hesitated to think about it for bloody sake!

"No, actually, I wouldn't at all. I mean, I told you, I didn't see you as that, I always saw you as my best friend, still do, and what can I say, you're not unattractive and I'd trust you with my life. It never felt weird to me, I liked it, it was… it felt safe, you know? And it made me feel really loved, so no bad feelings at all, you could kiss me on the lips whenever you felt like it, I wouldn't mind." WHAT?

"Um, but… " Yeah what BUT?! Holy shit, why was Niall doing this to him, why was he saying this?! He didn't think it would be a big deal, if they bloody kissed, _right now_?! In fact, Liam was so shocked he had to lift his head, staring down at Niall with his mouth almost hanging open as the younger boy lifted his as well, shrugging, as if this wasn't a big deal at all.

"What? I'm just saying that I wouldn't mind, that's all. And no one has kissed me in a year almost, no one has kissed me in general except for you, so…" Wait, was he giving Liam permission, did he know? But he couldn't, Liam had been too subtle about it, maybe Niall was just speaking his mind, because he always did that, didn't mean he had any intentions or anything, he was just calmly sitting there anyways, still playing a few strings of his guitar sometimes while Liam thought his heart would jump out of his chest any second.

"But I… I never properly kissed you though, it were just… pecks, nothing more." It made no sense for Liam to try to talk himself out of it because Niall just shrugged anyways, leaning his head back against the bunk before rolling it around to look at Liam, licking his lips, hopefully not noticing how Liam's eyes flickered down. He was going to throw up or something, he had no idea anymore what was even going on here.

"I don't know, Liam, I wouldn't know how a proper kiss works, would I?" True, he had never gotten one, never EVER, if Liam would've leaned forward those few centimeters, he could've been the first one. Fuck, why did he want this more than anything else in the world?! "I'd probably do really badly at it too, since I got no practice and all… how was your first proper kiss like?"

Alright, Liam had to keep cool here, just like Niall, he seemed pretty unimpressed by their conversation, so he was definitely not flirting with Liam or daring him to finally do it or anything, that'd be ridiculous, wouldn't it? "Well, uh… a little sloppy, I… I wasn't prepared and… and I didn't really like it, because I wasn't dating the girl or anything, just… it wasn't that good."

"Hmmm… I bet mine would be the same, like, I have no idea at all what I'd do if it came to this, it'd be pretty embarrassing probably." He laughed again and Liam swallowed, trying not to burst out with 'Let me show you', because fuck, he couldn't offer that, could he? "Would you feel weird, giving me a proper kiss, I mean? Just theoretically, do you think I would suck at it?"

Shrugging, Liam felt as if though he was dreaming, he couldn't believe this day had gotten so far, that Niall was here asking those questions that made no sense at all, like, what did he want Liam to say or do?! "Um… I mean, I wouldn't be grossed out kissing you or anything, just… I mean, would YOU feel weird, if we… snogged? And I don't know if you'd be bad, I mean… I probably suck at it too, haven't done it in almost three years, but anyways, we'd have to actually do it for me to say whether I think you-"

"Okay." Wait…

"What?" Liam hadn't even been properly listening to his own words, he was so nervous, more than any time before in his life ever, so he just stared at Niall, clueless at what he meant or why he was putting his guitar down suddenly, still looking all calm, even if his eyes were sparkling suddenly. 

"Let's try it." He… he wanted to snog Liam. He had just asked him to, hadn't he? Niall wanted to kiss him, _properly_ kiss him.

"But, I… " Yeah what? What was Liam even waiting for, just mindlessly staring into the younger boy's face, this seemed to be too good to be true, also knowing that both of them probably had completely different intentions caused him to hesitate as well. "W-Why?"

Again, Niall shrugged, as if this wasn't serious or something, as if this was normal behavior for friends. "I'm curious, I told you. And I don't want my first proper kiss to be with someone I don't even like or trust, I'd rather it's you, because you'd tell me if I was bad, right? And I wouldn't feel weird asking you what to do differently or anything, but if you don't want to then I understand, I mean it's-"

"No, no wait." Panicking, Liam almost interrupted him embarrassingly fast, it's just his heart was pounding so fast and his hands were getting shaky in anticipation as he kept staring into Niall's beautiful, blue eyes, trying to find the right words, because GOD, he wanted this so badly, he didn't care anymore what it was he felt for Niall or what the younger boy felt for him in return, he just wanted to finally do it instead of imaging it in the most inappropriate situations. And Niall had asked for it after all, right? He wanted it too. "I… I don't wanna ruin this experience for you, that's… that's all, I mean… I wouldn't mind, I can show you, you're my best friend, I mean… if you really want me to…" 

"You won't ruin it for me, Li, you're helping me and I… I really do want you to." This time, Niall's voice almost broke away a bit, he looked away for a second before biting his bottom lip again, a sign that he wasn't as calm as he tried to come off as.

"Well, okay, if you… if you really want me to then… then I can do it, of course. You wanna do it… now?" Because Liam didn't think he'd be able to wait any longer, this was like the fifth time in two minutes he tried not to just grab Niall's face and press their lips together, his fingers twitching a bit.

"Yeah, now…" Niall's voice had almost turned into a whisper as he kept looking into the older boy's eyes before suddenly looking down for a second, at his lips, leaning in the tiniest bit closer, but that was all Liam had needed.

"Tell me … if you want me to back off." And then, after looking at Niall for just one more moment, taking in his gorgeous face and perfect hair framing it, the fact that he didn't seem all that calm anymore, Liam leaned in even closer, their thighs and arms brushed as he let his eyes fall closed, his breath brushing over Niall's lips as they were ghosting over his for a second and he almost laughed out of relief.

For once though, Liam managed to keep himself together for real, closing the last gap between them, almost a little too eager as he felt Niall's not so unfamiliar soft lips under his. But this time was a lot different, this time he felt butterflies in his stomach going crazy and his arms covered in goosebumps as tingles went down his spine and he kissed Niall harder unexpectedly, causing the younger boy to gasp in surprise, his lips parting slightly, making it easier for Liam than he would've ever dared dreaming about.

Of course he was being careful, and gentle, well aware that this really was Niall's first proper kiss, that he was as unexperienced as could be, but Liam felt so privileged doing this, he couldn't have been rough, even if he had wanted to, which he didn't, this was Niall, and Liam just wanted to hold him and kiss him and make sure he was perfectly alright and happy.

So he started really slowly, bringing his hand up to cup Niall's face, brushing his thumb over the soft skin there as he gently ran his tongue over the boy's bottom lip, trying not to go too fast, but too excited to wait long before licking into his mouth, softly but firmly, waiting for Niall to fully relax into the kiss, his mind feeling a bit dizzy from what he felt, Niall's hot, wet tongue against his own, something he had imagined but his mind hadn't done reality any justice. This could've gone on forever, Liam wouldn't have minded, he wanted Niall, wanted him so much that it hurt.

He tried to show Niall what to do, tried to coax him into moving his tongue too, and his lips, let him know that it was okay to nip at his lips by doing it to the boy, softly though, very concerned about not hurting him in any way, making this as good as he possibly could. Maybe also because he was kinda hoping he'd leave Niall wanting to do it again, yeah, in that sense, Liam really had an advantage, he was the experienced one, if he tried hard enough, he would be able to blow Niall's mind and maybe get a chance to snog him again after this. Hell, this was what Liam had wanted for months, what he had been too scared to admit to himself, he wasn't gonna waste this chance.

As much as Niall had held back before, he became more confident after a while, his hand blindly grabbing at Liam's shirt, a groan leaving his mouth that Liam felt in his bones, kissing Niall deeper, his fingers twisting into the blonde hair in the back of his neck.

It seemed to last forever, but not long enough for Liam, the whole bus only filled with the sound of their wet and by now swollen lips meeting again and again, sometimes a noise from either of them that they just couldn't choke back and their heavy breaths as they clung to each other, trying to kiss deeper, get the other closer. The only reason why they had to stop was because Liam felt he would pass out from lack of air, he pulled away then, panting heavily as he rested his forehead against Niall's, keeping his eyes closed and pressing them together with his hand still cupping the back of the boy's neck. "So… what, do you… think?"

Talking in proper sentences was so hard, Liam felt Niall's breath against his skin, felt his whole body moving actually, though they were still only sitting next to each other, on the floor, and it was a shame actually, that Liam hadn't suggested they go lie down at least, not that he had any other intentions or would've tried to convince Niall about doing more, he simply wanted this to be the best experience Niall had ever had.

And it seemed quite like it, because instead of an answer, Niall tilted his head before fitting his spit slicked lips to Liam's once more, just shortly, but it was really, really sweet, causing Liam to smile unwillingly into the kiss, though it didn't last very long, since they had to catch their breath once more, but this time pulling back, they actually looked at each other.

Niall's lips looked beautiful like this, swollen, puffy and red, his whole face flushed actually, fingers still clenched into Liam's shirt, his expression unreadable as he tried to fill his lunges with more air, almost getting the older boy nervous for a second. "I didn't… didn't know you… you were so good at… this."

"Got no one to… compare it with, huh?" But he felt very proud either ways, grinning now as he moved his hand, stroking Niall's fringe out of his forehead gently, noticing the way the boy's eyes almost dropped closed in bliss.

"I don't need to compare it…" Fuck, he had actually really enjoyed this, hadn't he? Liam didn't wanna become vain now, but… he did feel very good about himself all of a sudden, this was Niall after all, he had wanted this so badly and now he had managed to make it this good for the both of them, what else could he have asked for?

"Well… you're really good at this too… a natural." Smirking as Niall's cheeks turned even darker, a small smile playing around his lips because of the compliment, Liam was a bit surprised by the boy just throwing his arms around Liam's neck, pressing his face into his shoulder, still breathing harder than normally, but Liam hugged back immediately, his stomach filled with warmth and happiness he hadn't felt in quite a while. 

"Thank you… for doing this, Li, really… thanks." Niall was clinging to him like he hadn't in a while, voice muffled by Liam's clothes, his warm body pressing into Liam's, arms tightening as the older boy mindlessly kissed the side of his head, keeping his eyes shut to appreciate the moment more.

"You're welcome, babe… you know if you… if you need some more practice, I can safely say I wouldn't mind." No idea where this confidence came from, or well, actually Liam did know, they had just snogged for god's sake, did it matter what he said now?

"I'll remember that…" Niall's chuckle was a bit too high maybe, but at least he wasn't mad or anything, he seemed to quite enjoy this too, which became even more noticeable by what he asked then. "Can I… can I sleep in your bunk tonight?"

"Of course you can…" God, had Liam won the lottery? "You don't need to ask, you know that you can always come to me."

"Okay…" They kept on hugging, Liam rocked them gently, rubbing his hand over Niall's back soothingly while holding him impossibly close with the other, he missed being like this so much, cuddling up together in a bed, kissing Niall's forehead goodnight and having him snuggle his face into the crook of Liam's neck. Which was why his excitement grew even more at what the younger boy said then, or whispered almost actually, unusually shy. "You know… because of what we talked about before… when you said you felt lonely sometimes and… and that you miss some things about being in a relationship, I… I just wanted to say that… that I do have your back, Liam, always and you can count on me, 100% and… and if you don't wanna sleep in and wake up alone then you just gotta tell me and I… you know I just mean, I can be there for you, I don't want you to feel lonely, you mean the world to me, you're my very best friend and you can kiss me, if… if you want to, I just mean because, you know, everyone's in a relationship and we're not, maybe you're missing that too, and… yeah, just… I'm here, okay?"

"I love you, Nialler." Was all Liam could think of because he did, he truly did, but he also knew Niall didn't know that he meant this completely not platonic at all, he just mean it like this, even surprised by how genuine he sounded himself as he kept on holding the younger boy.

Deep down, Liam knew this was wrong, that he shouldn't have let it get this far, but he hadn't pushed anything, had he? In fact, he had even been avoiding Niall for a while, had been trying to act as if he wasn't jealous or wanted to himself.

But he did, and he was jealous, and he knew that from now on, now that he knew Niall also kinda missed him and how they had used to be before, he wouldn't stop anymore in trying to make this work somehow, convince Niall in some way, and he'd definitely take whatever it was that he could get. And if that involved heavy make out sessions, Liam wouldn't complain, even if he had no idea about Niall's feeling towards him, or if he still had some thinking to do regarding his own.

 

——————

 

After that night, sleeping squeezed together in a way too tiny bunk bed, in only boxers, and a shirt in Liam's case, the older boy wasn't sure what exactly they were now as he woke in the morning, having a sleeping and lightly snoring Niall lying on his chest.

He was really happy on one hand, ecstatic almost, wanting to wake Niall by kissing his lips one billion times and holding him close, touching his crazily attractive body in all the ways he had been daydreaming about, making sure the younger boy knew how much he appreciated him, how much he loved him.

On the other hand though, with the realization about being absolutely crazy about Niall also came the not so bright reality, that maybe Niall really only tried to cheer Liam up, that he would never see them as more than just mates trying some stuff, messing around, something that wasn't enough for Liam, never would be, but it was scary thinking, that this might be everything he would ever get, so he better not let his chance slip.

Maybe he'd just have to learn to take and be grateful for what he could get, and not ask for more, just see how things would develop and then maybe, maybe this could get serious one day, he wouldn't try and bring it up to Niall though, too scared about causing this to stop, because at least Liam could be certain about their friendship being strong, very strong, and he wouldn't ruin it for anything in the world, he'd fight now, no more trying to hold back, trying to keep distance, no, Liam would do anything he possibly could.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So this is another (and the last) early update! I don't know if people actually read my notes, but I wanted to say thank you to everyone who always comments on my stories and gives me kudos and just if you read the whole thing, I really appreciate it! Also, I'm really happy that everyone seemed to like this story so much and I hope you guys are gonna like the ending as well! :) And since it's the 31st for me already: Happy Halloween!

"So, you and Niall, huh?" Liam snapped out of his daydream, he was still tired, but what Paul had said caused his eyes to go wide, blush creeping into his face immediately as he stared at the man, who didn't seem as impressed as he should've been revealing such dark secrets.

"Um, w-what?" Maybe Liam could deny it, he playing with the zipper of his hoodie, already thinking about some way to laugh it off, mind running wild.

"You and Niall are sharing a room?" Well, so much about Liam trying to keep people from finding out, he was almost spilling the beans himself now, how would Paul even know anyways, maybe he should use his brain once a while and not only to mentally snog his best friend.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah we are, you can give me both cards though, uh, I'll give him his once he comes up to our room." Because Niall had rehearsal with the band, and Liam had figured it wouldn't make them look innocent if he went there to watch them and drooled all over the place because Niall tended to take his shirt off a lot.

Once he had the cards, Liam tried to get to the elevator quickly, preferably before any of the other boys would come, but it only so happened that he stood there for ten full minutes, and then when the doors finally slid open, Zayn managed to get inside as well, last second, and though it would've been more than rude, Liam almost cursed out loud because of that. 

"What's the hurry?" Yeah, Liam actually didn't know that either, maybe it was because he was almost 100% sure that at least one of the boys had seen them sharing a quick kiss on the plane, he wasn't really sure who though, which didn't really matter, because Zayn knew for sure, because even though he wouldn't have told Louis and Harry, if any of the other had seen it, they would've for sure told Zayn, and each other, of course.

"Uh, nothing, just… I wanna lie down for a bit, I'm pretty exhausted, so…" God, why was that elevator taking so bloody long?!

"Yeah, me too. You sharing a room with Niall?" It seemed like a harmless comment but it got Liam suspicious immediately, like with everything lately, it's not that he was embarrassed or anything, they were just automatically keeping this a secret somehow and also, Liam wasn't so keen on any of the others bringing it up or teasing them, he was scared Niall might want to stop then.

"Yeah." The fifth one in a row now, finally again, a few weeks had passed since that bus… incident, Liam hadn't counted the days but he was pretty sure that tour had just gotten 100% better during that time.

"You better try and sleep then while he's gone, can't imagine that boy sitting still for a second." Oh he could, while Liam had his tongue in Niall's mouth, but that wasn't really suitable for a conversation like this. "Is he at rehearsal?"

"Yeah… he'll be done in a bit though." God, Liam couldn't wait, they hadn't seen each other since this morning and as pathetic as it was, Liam missed him already, even more than he normally did, but since… _this_ had started, they were almost inseparable again, just like they had used to be and Liam would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the shit out of it.

"You guys been hanging around each other a lot more again." it was just a simple statement, so Liam tried to keep his breathing even, secretly trying to get the elevator move faster with his mind only.

"I guess… he's my best friend, so." Everyone knew that, that they were as close as could be, it's just the kissing and snogging that no one had to know about, because yeah, it wasn't normal at all, but apparently it was alright for Niall, to do it 'as mates' and well, Liam wouldn't have minded to know how far 'mates' could actually get him, but he wouldn't push it, everything was Niall's decision only, he was in charge because Liam would've never forgiven himself hurting that boy.

"I know, I was just wondering actually, because for a while, it was like you kept some distance and now suddenly, you're tighter than ever again, know what I mean? I just noticed, is all." They shared a look, one that made Liam very unsure about whether Zayn was just playing dumb or not, anyways, he wouldn't be the one to bring it up, it was no one's business.

"Don't know… we talked it out a bit, you know, because things changed, but yeah, we're good again." More than good, brilliant. "I gotta get out here, see you tonight?"

"Yeah, see you…" Finally the bloody elevator stopped at the right floor, Liam didn't even wait for the doors to fully open before squeezing himself into the hallway, not looking back around at Zayn anymore, already regretting that he had promised he would come along tonight to go out.

It's just, Niall had been so excited about it that Liam hadn't managed to say no, because he knew that the blonde boy would've stayed with him otherwise, and though that was very flattering, Liam didn't wanna keep him from having fun. It'd be alright though, as long as they could spend time together and even if drunk Niall was exhausting at times, Liam would take care of him anyways.

Their room was really big, mostly because it had two bedrooms, which Liam didn't care about though, he had gotten used to pulling Niall into bed with him, the younger boy didn't seem to mind that either, so they did it every night now, hopefully not only because Niall was trying to make him feel less lonely but also because he enjoyed it just as much as Liam did.

He didn't bother unpacking anything really, just getting his laptop before going to lie on bed, his stomach growling which he ignored though, he'd wait with room service until Niall was here to order half the menu once again. God, even that caused Liam to smile stupidly, he really was too obsessed with his best friend, but how could he have not been?

They were so close now it was almost ridiculous, after that night, waking up in their bunk, things had been weird for a few minutes, and Liam had started doubting everything and regretting, thinking they would probably not speak to each other for a week now or something, but then Niall had been the one who had found the guts to say something like 'um, I still mean everything, you know' and everything had been fine again.

The snogging wasn't too frequent, they did it sometimes, when the situation led to it, or when one of them made too many cheeks comments because they were so desperate for it, but Liam had simply taken up the goodnight pecks again, though it was different now, and it lasted longer, and usually he fell asleep before Niall as well, but that was okay, he didn't mind if it happened the other way around, he was just happy he got to kiss the boy as often as he wanted to, what else could he have asked for?

When Niall came, it was noticeable all the way from the elevator through the hallway before he started slamming on the door impatiently, causing Liam do chuckle as he threw his legs over the edge of the bed, going to lock up. "LIAM! Let me in, I'm starvin'! You don't want a dead body in front of your door, do ya?!"

"Calm down, Nialler, I'm already there, jesus." Ripping the door open, it was as if Liam's lunges had been blocked but now he could finally breathe again, though the younger boy seemed exhausted, pushing right past Liam into the room, looking around for a few seconds before turning around again. "What?"

"Why didn't you get anything to eat up here while I was gone, Li?!" As he crossed his arms as well, Liam couldn't hold back his laughter anymore, he made sure to close the door before walking over to the other boy, holding his hips for a moment as he kissed his pouty lips, pretty used to giving him those random kisses throughout the day. 

"Nice to see you too, babe. I was waiting to make sure I ask you about what you want first, come here, let's order something." He sat on the only chair they had, reaching out for the phone while Niall remained standing for a bit before coming too, making Liam smile by dropping himself right into his lap, he had gotten heavier since he had last done this, and taller, but it was alright, Liam loved it even more now.

"You know what I like, Li." Well, that was more than true, Liam felt like he knew Niall like the back of his hand, but then he thought about how much he didn't even know Niall's whole opinion on whatever they had going on, so maybe he didn't know him THAT well. 

"But we don't know yet if they got anything you want, here." It was quite funny actually, that whenever they were like this, Liam somehow automatically slipped back into his old, mature role and Niall, well Niall was like he always was to be honest, loud, excited, maybe a bit clumsy, but definitely looking a whole lot more grown up, like Liam wouldn't have told him to go brush his teeth anymore now, but he wanted to, sometimes. 

While Niall studied the card with a few side comments, he leaned his head back against Liam's shoulder, which was harder now that he was older, so he was actually fully lying on him and Liam had to wrap his free arm around the boy's stomach to keep him from slipping, his breath going a bit heavy under Niall's weight pressing into his chest, but it was fine. More than fine.

Of course, Niall decided on way too much, and that was one thing that had changed, Liam didn't tell him that he'd get sick or anything, it just made him laugh as he went ahead to call down to the reception, trying his hardest not to start making weird noises into the phone when Niall figured it would be great fun to poke his cheek and move around a whole lot on his lap.

"Okay, it'll take a while seeing as you ordered their whole menu." Once Liam had hung up, he let out a breath in relief, though Niall stopped bugging him immediately then of course, grinning widely at him, their faces only inches apart, causing Liam's breath to hitch a bit. Just because he got to kiss the boy didn't mean he didn't make him nervous anymore.

"Thanks, Li." Then he got a kiss on the cheek before Niall's weight was gone, Liam spun around in the chair to see him falling onto his back in the bed, a long sigh escaping him that gave Liam chills up his spine. "Damn, I'm knackered. I hate those band only rehearsals, it's no fun if you guys are not there singing, I mean, it IS fun, sometimes, but they're all bloody perfectionists or something."

"You want me to buy you free from rehearsals?" Liam was joking of course, he slowly got up, thinking about what he wanted to do for a while before settling for simply lying down next to Niall, also on his back, smiling slightly as he felt the boy moving closer until they were brushing.

"Yes." He sounded a little too serious, if there hadn't been the giggle afterwards, Liam would've turned his head to check, but he felt tired as well, not wanting to open his eyes so he just reached over to find Niall's hair, petting it for a second.

"Sorry to disappoint you, I can't do that." Well maybe he could, but it wouldn't benefit Niall very much. 

"But you offered it to me, Liam! What happened to 'You don't need anymore practice, Nialler, because you're already the best guitar player in the world'?" The fact that he remembered Liam's exact same words from two years ago had Liam opening his eyes to look at the blonde boy, just in time, because Niall had wiggled onto his belly, leaning his chin against Liam's chest, an arm draped around him that seemed to weigh a ton. 

"You still remember that, huh?" It was impressive actually, because not even Liam could've recalled the exact use of words, he watched Niall's face, playing with a few streaks of blonde hair, pushing it back out of his face before just continuing to stroke it because Niall seemed to enjoy it, leaning into his touch.

"Of course I do, I was so nervous I almost threw up before the first few concerts and I know you only told me that because it was 3 am and you wanted to sleep and I thought I needed to play every single song 5 more times, but still, it helped that you said that, you know." A slight smile appeared on his lips that Liam returned immediately, his stomach filling with happiness as he thought about that, he was glad it had helped Niall, because he had literally tried everything back then to take the boy's fear away, stayed with him way too long during the concerts and constantly thrown his arm around the his shoulders, given him pep talks before every single show, it had been nerve wrecking, but Liam had enjoyed doing it anyways.

"I didn't just say it because I wanted to sleep, Ni, you really were good from the beginning or they wouldn't have allowed it and besides… " Then he broke off for a second, watching Niall's eyes falling closed in bliss as he played with the soft hair behind his ear, it looked like he was about to start purring or something, Liam loved it. "Besides, you're my personal favorite and best guitar player in the world, so I told you nothing but the truth."

Though Niall opened his eyes just to roll them at Liam, his lips formed into the crooked smile that Liam loved so much that he would've felt his knees giving in if he hadn't been already lying down, his breathing increasing a bit as Niall moved once more, so that he was more on top of Liam now, a leg in between Liam's, his arms on either side of the older boy's face to keep the balance. 

He was just staring for a moment, causing Liam to blush because of the lack of distance, his hand now frozen in Niall's fluffily hair, other hand grabbing onto his biceps automatically, his stomach twisting into knots because of how badly he wanted, _needed_ , to kiss this boy right now.

And luckily, Niall seemed to feel much the same as he whispered with a cheeky grin, his dimples showing. "Then I guess that makes us the best guitar player and best singer in the world."

"I'm not th-"

"Shh, you are to me, that's all that counts." True, but literally, Liam didn't really care about anyone's opinion but Niall's, his heart was flattering now as the younger boy leaned down, letting his lips ghost over Liam's for a moment as his hand found the one still tangled in his hair, he pulled it out, keeping a tight grip on Liam's wrist as he pressed it into the mattress above his head, something he didn't normally do, the rough pad of his thumb brushing right over Liam's veins and causing him to let out an unplanned breath just as Niall pressed their lips together.

It wasn't so innocent anymore as it had been the very first time, because damn, Niall had gotten really good at it, even better than he had been without any practice, so literally, he was blowing Liam's mind now, he just let the younger boy take the lead quite often, like now for example, because he seemed to know what he was doing.

And truly, Niall seemed to be more impatient than Liam had been before, he immediately nudged his lips apart, not taking half a second to plunge his tongue into Liam's mouth with a whine, getting a tighter grip on his wrist that almost hurt, but it was like, a good kinda hurt, so Liam dug his fingers into Niall's arm, pretty pleased when that caused the boy to kiss him deeper.

Their make out sessions got more desperate every single time, not that Liam would've complained, there was literally nothing like the feeling of having a heavy and deep snog with his best friend, knowing that the feeling was mutual because Niall was the one who started biting and sucking on Liam's lip first, literally fucking his tongue into the older boy's mouth, causing them to run out of breath within seconds, breathing heavily against each other, chests heaving against the other's.

It was when there was a sharp knock on the door that Liam noticed how tightly he had gripped Niall's biceps, how the other boy's fingers around his wrist had probably left bruises by now and how they had forgotten time, at least making out for twenty minutes or something.

"I… I'll go and get it." Niall mumbled breathlessly as soon as he had pulled away slightly, deeply flushed, his lips shiny and more swollen than Liam had ever seen them, looking exactly like his own felt.

The loss of Niall's weight and grip on him wasn't exactly what Liam wanted right now, but he sat up then, panting heavily, rubbing his wrist a bit to get the blood flowing again, and as he stayed there, on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his hair, it was when Liam noticed, while still having the younger boy's taste in his mouth, the remaining memory of his lips and tongue, that he had gotten half hard from this, and maybe that wasn't surprising at all, Niall had literally had his knee right in his crotch, constantly moving it around.

But still, it hadn't been something that had happened before from snogging and Liam felt himself getting more than just embarrassed as he looked down into his lap, pretty sure that Niall hadn't noticed before, it wasn't that visible either, but Liam still thought about quickly going to the bathroom to… get rid of the problem, though it would've felt weird, having a wank over Niall, while Niall was literally behind the door.

Before Liam could get up though, the younger boy came back with a tray of food and a happy grin on his red face, obviously not noticing Liam crossing his legs and grabbing a pillow to keep on his lap. "That guy that brought the food asked me whether he was disturbing me with anything. And if I look anything like you then I'm not surprised he thought that."

"What do I look like?" Liam asked back dumbly, his breath still going a bit heavy as he watched Niall climbing back into bed as well, leaving the tray right next to the bed, obviously not minding to eat it right in here.

"Proper fucked." The grin was back full on as Niall laughed loudly, maybe over Liam's embarrassed face, but the younger boy didn't seem to have a problem saying things like that, he just leaned forward, on all four, pecking Liam's burning lips one more time. "It's hot."

Right, that didn't help with Liam's problem, but he tried to grin back, relieved as Niall got back into his own space again, over eagerly started to get some food then while Liam's hand almost cramped up trying to hold the pillow to cover his whole lap.

Why was Niall so good with this? Not minding to say those things and talking so dirty, it seemed so easy for him, he just went to snog Liam whenever he felt like it, speaking his mind afterwards, and it really got Liam wondering, like, what if this was all it meant to Niall? Someone to snog, well someone you _trust_ , what if it didn't mean anything else to the younger boy? If he was just being curious and wanted to try those things out with someone, if it was convenient to choose Liam for that because he had told him all that crap about 'being lonely', what if Niall thought they were just helping each other out?

And Liam wouldn't be able to ask him that, or bring it up, because outwardly, he had to pretend that it didn't mean anything more to him either, just messing around between mates. What had he gotten himself into?

 

———————

 

They didn't normally stay in the hotel to have a drink or something, but they did tonight because the nearest bar, or disco whatever you wanna call it, was practically attached to the hotel so it came quite convenient, also because no one had yet asked them for pictures or anything in here, though there were a lot of people, no one seemed to recognize them and it was exactly what Liam liked because he couldn't need anyone posting pictures of him while he tried his best not to go over, grab Niall's hips and pin him against the nearest wall.

"Did Niall even drink anything or is he just hyper?" Probably a mixture of both, Liam let his eyes wander across the people, leaning back against the bar in search of his best friend, and he found him, with Harry, apparently having the time of his life, which bothered Liam a lot, because he had been asked by the younger boy to come along, which he had denied though, because Liam had a goal tonight and he couldn't do this sober, so he was on his third drink now, knowing very well that after barely pushing his limits during the past few years, it'd affect him even quicker. 

"Don't know, 'm not his baby sitter." It came out a little too harsh, Louis had been half laughing after all, if it was possible to hear that over the loud music, anyways, his face seemed to fall a bit after Liam's answer and he leaned closer, coming off as pretty sober though.

"What happened to your wrist?" Liam looked down at the hand he was holding his drink with, the skin was a little red, swollen almost, maybe purple too, it was hard to tell in poor lightning, but he shrugged it off anyways, just because he was feeling tipsy, he wasn't gonna spill the whole truth to Louis now. Even if he felt like it would be a good idea, but that was more the alcohol talking than his brain.

"Bumped into the closet." Which seemed pretty dumb considering his wrist was bruised all around and not just in one spot, but Liam kinda liked it, liked the sting with every movement because it reminded him of their snog earlier this day, reminded him why he was pouring those drinks into him.

It wasn't exactly a plan that Liam had really, he didn't even know what he wanted to do, all he knew was that he didn't wanna be responsible tonight, and switch Niall's drinks with orange juice again like so often, everyone always seemed to have so much fun with drunk Niall except for Liam because he was the one who was left alone with him the next day when he was puking his guts out. So tonight, Liam wasn't gonna stay sober, wasn't gonna push Niall off if he got too clingy again, he'd just see what happened, after all, at least his worries from before seemed to fade, Liam felt pretty confident now, almost as if he wouldn't mind going over and just telling Niall the truth, in front of all those people. But he didn't, not now yet at least, because his common sense was still slightly present.

"Looks more like finger prints actually." They shared a look, somehow Liam felt as if Louis knew everything, but how would he have found out?

"Don't be stupid, whose finger prints would that be, huh?" Trying his hardest not to sound too pissed off while still watching Niall and Harry, Liam quickly emptied his drink, even though half of it had still been left, he almost gagged while swallowing so much at once.

"I don't know, I was just saying… You sure you should get another drink?" Yeah, Liam was very sure, he had actually already turned around to order one, feeling Louis' worried look on him, but not bothering to return it. "Li, since when are you drinking so much again? I thought you said you didn't wanna do that anymore, like the smoking, remember? You stopped that as well."

"I didn't… I didn't say I would never do it again, did I?" Well, he had really stopped the smoking and he wouldn't be drinking now if it weren't for a purpose, to boost his confidence a bit, and make sure that he wouldn't get back to the hotel room at 5 in the morning with images of Niall having fun with everyone else but him.

"But why tonight?" Louis' question seemed very suspicious, but Liam shrugged it off, eyes glued to the blonde boy's back a few meters away, his mind kinda blurry now as he emptied yet another half a drink, not quite sure anymore how long he'd be able to hold back before going over and forcefully pulling Niall away from Harry.

"Did he really kiss your cheek?" It slipped out, unintentionally, Liam just couldn't hold back anymore, he still looked for pics or evidence of what Zayn had told him weeks ago, but had never found anything even close to it.

"What, who?" His bandmate seemed truly confused, but Liam didn't buy it immediately, swallowing again before placing the empty glass on the counter, a little bit regretting the fact that he had only gotten the strongest things, he didn't wanna pass out after all.

"Niall. Zayn told me, a few weeks ago… when you guys went out and I stayed at the bus, he said Niall kissed you on the cheek." God, just talking about it had Liam seeing red, why was he still so jealous? After he had snogged Niall at least 10 times? 

"Oh… I don't know, can't remember, a lot of things happen during a concert and it's been a while since that day." If Liam hadn't known better, he would've said that Louis sounded hesitant, nervous, as if he was choosing his words carefully, his eyes never leaving the side of Liam's face. "Why?"

"Just asking, is all." Of course he was almost giving himself away now, jealousy probably showing very clearly, but Liam's mind was dizzy and he knew he was drunk, but not drunk enough to not bother what was going on over there. "What's your boyfriend doing with Niall anyways, shouldn't he be with you instead?"

"Um, what do you mean, they're just dancing a bit." True, they weren't even touching or anything, just laughing and dancing, which was enough for Liam, just them looking at each other suddenly got him worked up, Niall was his, who did Harry think he was?

"Aren't you jealous?" He just blurted it out, without thinking, because Liam had wondered about that a lot, whether any of them got jealous whenever the other spent time with Niall, because his brain almost exploded every time.

"No? Why would I be jealous? They're just friends and I trust Harry, I know he loves me." Right, and that was the difference between them, Louis could be sure of having Harry, didn't have to worry all day long or try to impress him or anything, and though Liam could be sure to have his place as Niall's best friend, that simply wasn't enough. "Are _you_ jealous?"

God damn, yes, Liam was, but he ignored his bandmate, ignored his stare and the fact that he was unintentionally giving himself away as he waited for a few more seconds before deciding that he couldn't do this anymore, if he watched another minute of this, Liam would punch someone.

He wasn't feeling too drunk to walk properly or anything, like, he still had control over his motor skills, it was just his mind that was affected probably, because Liam suddenly thought it was a brilliant idea to just go ahead and wrap his arm around Niall's waist while he was in the middle of conversation, pulling the boy into him instead. "…don't know if- what the fuck, man, I… oh, Li, hey."

His face brightened up a bit at seeing the older boy, which was very pleasing for Liam to know, also the way Niall adjusted immediately, resting his hand on Liam's chest as he smiled up at him, he was definitely tipsy as well, a little bit at least. "You gonna dance with me for a bit?"

To be exact here, it was neither a question nor an offer because Liam was holding him so tightly that he wouldn't have been able to get away anyways, ignoring Harry to such and extend that he wasn't even sure whether he was still even here, because he refused to check, never looking away from Niall's face. Which looked even more beautiful tonight if that was even possible, and his hair was made too, his skinny jeans hugging his perfect legs, maybe the shirt was a bit too loose for Liam's liking, but that didn't do anything Niall's flawless appearance. "Sure… have you been drinking?"

"A bit." Liam confessed, laughing for a second until Niall joined, his breath smelled a bit like whatever Liam had had in his glass before, definitely not sober.

"Good." As Niall put his head back a bit to reach Liam's cheek with his lips, the older boy felt too hot because of that already, digging his fingers deeper into Niall's hips, wanting him even closer.

"Why?" They weren't really moving, just staring at each other really, and holding on, almost having to talk into each other's ears to be able to understand a word because of how loud it was, the music working very much in Liam's favor tonight.

"'Cos you never come have fun with me when we go out… I like when you watch out for me, but… " Then Niall shrugged a bit, still smirking right into Liam's face, his hand rubbing over the fabric of his shirt, almost causing the older boy's breath to stop.

Instead thought, he attempted to pull them away a bit, out of sight because in the back of his head he knew that Louis was probably still watching them, he felt ecstatic now, that Niall was happy he had come, that he wanted to spend time with Liam alone, immediately coming along as Liam let go of him shortly, to wrap Niall's hand up in his own, securely, so he wouldn't lose him in the mass of people. "Come on, let's have some fun then."

They were both terrible dancers of course, but no one around payed attention to them, and if they would've, Liam wouldn't have cared, because they were really just having a laugh for quite a while, until the alcohol fully kicked in then, and in a moment of giggling at each other, way too much and too loud of course, something inside Liam snapped as he watched Niall throwing his head back a bit, his adam's apple bobbing and he just reached out for the boy's hips to draw him in closer, the giggles slowly dying out. 

"Niall…" God, he was so freaking gorgeous, staring at Liam with those big blue eyes, his arms clearly moving to wrap around Liam's neck, but the older boy stopped him, licking his lips and attempting to turn him around instead. "Let's do it like this… okay?"

Niall didn't answer, but a smirk crossed his face as he turned around immediately, pressing his back snugly against Liam's chest as the older boy got a tight grip onto his hips against, feeling reckless as he leaned his head down, letting his breath brush over the shell of Niall's ear, hearing the younger boy gasp a bit before a hand came flying up to keep Liam's head in place, while Niall tilted his back, almost as if to encourage Liam, give him more access. Fuck.

It was so hot, not only the temperature in here that had gotten both of them a little sweaty already beforehand, butt he fact that they were like this, grinding together almost, though they weren't moving too much yet as Liam placed open mouth kisses on Niall's neck, up to his jaw and cheek, completely turning his brain off right then and there, he didn't care anymore who saw, he wanted Niall and as things were now, the younger boy seemed to want him as well, because of the alcohol probably, but Liam had gotten drunk for this purpose, so he wouldn't care anymore.

"Liam… we're in public…" Niall's protest wasn't very strong, his fingers were still in Liam's hair, pulling a bit, not leaning his head away though as Liam continued kissing him everywhere he could reach, biting into his neck gently, just to test it out and smirking against the boy's skin as he heard him gasping, even more when Liam eased the spot with his tongue. "F-Fuck…"

There it was, that tiny little word, the half moan Niall let out at Liam sucking on his skin that had him tightening his grip even more, moving his hips against where his crotch was pressed up right against Niall's ass and he almost let out a groan himself at the much need friction. "No one's watching us…"

Or maybe they were, but Liam didn't fucking care anymore, he was moving them now slowly, not really for the sake of making it look like they were actually dancing, or attempting to, but more because he wanted to grind against the younger boy, smirking as he felt Niall pressing back into him, gripping his hair even tighter to pull Liam away from his neck as he turned his head to look at him, eyes flickering down to his lips as he almost whispered. "You find an excuse when there's pictures tomorrow."

And before Liam could figure out whether this meant he had permission to do anything he wanted, it was Niall who pressed his already parted lips against Liam's, pushing his ass back a bit in the process, the pressure and feeling of the other's mouth immediately going straight to Liam's groin, he couldn't help it and he was sure Niall could feel him getting hard, but if anything, he just kissed him more eagerly over his shoulder, massing Liam's tongue with his as he moaned into his mouth, luckily for no one to hear but the older boy, almost ripping his hair out.

The fact that they were both drunk, both horny apparently, led to neither of them caring or considering the consequences, it just felt so bloody good, to kiss Niall like they usually only did in the safety of their own room, thrusting his hips against him, slowly but in a dirty way that, if they would've kept this up for say 10 minutes, would've definitely led to Liam creaming his pants.

It didn't though, because as they pulled away for air and Niall had this kinda dreamy, drunk look on his face, his forehead glistering with sweat, chest heaving as he panted against the older's lips, Liam acted without thinking. He leaned in even closer, until his mouth was brushing against the shell of Niall's ear as he spoke. "Come on, let's go to our room."

And Niall, being almost as wasted as Liam, nodded immediately, trying to kiss him again and Liam let it happen for a while, even more eager to take this somewhere else as Niall bit down into his bottom lip before allowing him to pull away and grab a tight hold of his hand.

Maybe this was the downside of them going for a drink in the hotel, no one was stopping them, none of the other boys or staff or anybody was around and they practically only had to slip into the elevator five minutes later, panting and sweaty, still holding hands, not being able to do anything else because there were other people as well. "Li…"

Niall was almost whining into his ear, making it very hard for Liam to resist, he was leaning against the back of the elevator, with Niall pressed into his side, his jeans feeling unbearably tight now and Niall's hand suddenly slipping underneath his shirt and rubbing his abs wasn't helping much. "We'll be there in a second, babe…"

"I want you now though." God, Niall really was shameless, he craned his neck up, kissing Liam's jaw right with 5 strangers in the elevator with them, his hand playing around with Liam's belt, and he would've opened it up, Liam was a 100% certain, if he hadn't stopped the boy, Niall would've been touching his dick right then and there.

There were a few glares and heads shaking as they stumbled out into the hallway on their floor, half giggling, but too eager to fully think about how dangerous this had just been, how fucking reckless, if anyone saw them, recognized them and took a picture, they'd be fucked.

"Hurry…" The fact that Niall was so bloody horny turned Liam on even more, he wasn't using his brain at all anymore as he fumbled with the card to get the door open, he didn't even know anymore what his goal for tonight had been, what he had planned on doing, all he could think about now was how warm Niall's arms around him felt even through his shirt, the way the boy's breath gave him goose bumps over and over again, and those butterflies he had never felt before with anybody else. And yeah, Liam was desperate too, because he had been thinking about this, way too often, wanting them to do more than just snogging, and now that he could finally have it, he couldn't bloody wait anymore, fuck being drunk and not being able to think clearly, this was going to happen.

They almost fell into the room actually, Liam was sure the whole floor could hear him throwing the door smashed before he had his hands back at Niall's hips, groaning as the younger boy's arms wrapped around his neck in a tight grip, as if he wanted to strangle him, pressing their lips back together eagerly.

Liam's ears were ringing from the loud music, something he was very used to, but now the alcohol made him extra dizzy as well, he was barely aware of what was happening actually, just kissing back, forgetting to be gentle as he pushed Niall's shirt up even higher until he could feel his hot flesh, starting to walk backwards, not breaking apart. "Liam…"

As Niall panted heavily against his mouth, Liam didn't bother to find out what it was about, his lips smearing down to the boy's neck, not leaving one centimeter of distance between them, thinking it was good idea until Niall probably hit the bed because before Liam realized what was going on, he landed right on top of the boy on the mattress, a huff leaving the younger boy's mouth. "Oops… sorry, Ni."

"You're heavy… I tried to warn you." Right, that was what that had been about, Liam couldn't help but laugh breathlessly, leaving Niall some room to get more comfortable underneath him before lying back down, keeping his weight on his elbows but still feeling their bodies pressing together in all the right ways, both of them still panting.

"You alright?" Just to check, somewhere in the back of his mind, Liam still cared about Niall's well being of course, it was just hard to hold back when he was this drunk and horny, Niall's breath hitting his spit slicked lips as he pulled Liam down by wrapping his arms around his neck again, nodding a bit.

"Yeah… kiss me." So Liam did, feeling their teeth collide in a not so comfortable way because of how eager they both were, Niall's fingers grabbing a handful of his by now sweaty hair, keeping him close.

As Liam rolled his hips mindlessly, his mouth almost slipped off of Niall from the pleasure, fuck, he hadn't done anything in a really long time, and this was Niall, the one person he had dreamed about doing this with, it was probably only natural that Liam moved a hand down, fumbling at the hem of Niall's shirt before dragging it up, almost to his armpits, running his fingers over the heated, smooth skin. There was nothing he wanted more than this, nothing in the whole world.

Their kiss got really sloppy as Liam continued thrusting his clothed hips into Niall's, harder every time until he felt Niall's legs wrapping around the back of his thighs to keep him even closer, that's when he realized he was almost about to come, just from this, right into his pants, but it wasn't enough, that's not what Liam wanted.

So he broke the kiss, though Niall whined in the back of his throat, a string of spit connecting their lips for a second as Liam fully pulled back, uncurling Niall's arms from around his neck as he sat up to straddle the boy instead, only briefly looking at his half naked upper body before straight going for his belt.

Undressing in this position was hard, Niall helped though, wiggling his hips, his fingers a bit clumsy, so Liam was the one who pulled the boy's jeans and boxers down, not fully yet because there wasn't enough space, but enough to reveal Niall's hard on, causing the boy to gasp as Liam stopped his movements for a second, just staring at him, at his erection already producing quite some amount of pre come and making a sticky mess on the boy's belly.

The fact that he was the only one who had gone this far with Niall crossed his mind, that the younger boy had never done anything like this before left him wanting to try as hard as he could, despite being drunk, Liam still thought about that as he gave Niall a quick smile before fully getting off of him, up on his feet actually to get rid of his own clothes.

Meanwhile, Niall flushed really hard, but he kicked his jeans and boxers off fully, spreading his legs a bit once Liam had even removed his shirt, waiting for Niall to move up more into the middle of the bed before coming back, a little too impatient maybe as he pushed at the boy's legs to fit in between, well aware of Niall's stare at his dick. "Fuck, Niall…"

As soon as their mouths collided again, Liam tested how it'd feel to press down against Niall now and he almost lost it, it was so good, both of them wet already, and it was hot too, feeling their hard ons rubbing together, trapped between their bodies, pressure all around, Liam moaned into Niall's mouth as he pushed his tongue in deeper, rolling his hips again. 

He wanted to do more with Niall, go all the way instead of just rubbing against each other, but he knew that he couldn't do that, not now, not like this, for now he was just horny and Niall was too, which was very obvious by how desperate he clung to Liam's shoulders, fingernails scraping across his skin, maybe even drawing some blood there as Liam build up a somewhat steady rhythm.

It was disgusting actually, they were both a sweaty mess, panting against each other, their alcohol consume from earlier very noticeable in their mixing breath as they weren't even properly kissing anymore, too out of breath by now. But Liam didn't care about any of that, that the air smelled of sweat and sex, that they were rutting against one another in the most dirty way possible, this was Niall, and whenever he opened his eyes to see the younger boy's face underneath him, it pushed him even closer to the edge.

Still, it was never quite enough, no matter if Liam thrust harder against Niall than before, feeling the boy's legs falling apart wider, he still wanted more somehow, so while letting his lips leave a wet trail down Niall's lips to his throat, Liam managed to get a hand in between them, feeling the stick smear of their pre cum where they were rubbing together easily thanks to the lubrication.

Niall's moan was louder than anytime before when Liam touched him, not immediately going for it though, just feeling around a bit, keeping his eyes open as he watched Niall's face, the boy's eyes were closed, sweat rolling down his temple, his puffy lips parted slightly as he leaned his head back, groaning again as Liam rubbed his thumb over the head, causing more pre cum to ooze out of the slit, somehow feeling very good about being able to make Niall feel this good.

"You're so hot…" Liam murmured without really planning on it, but it was true, he had stilled his movements for a second to stroke Niall's hard member, looking down for a minute to watch, the boy's foreskin rolling back because of the movements of his fist around him, revealing the red tip again and again, it was fascinating somehow, and so damn fucking hot that Liam almost came without much further do.

Not wanting either of them to end this sooner than necessary, Liam made sure to fit his hand around both of their dicks now, causing Niall to really painfully dig his fingernails into his shoulders now as he started rubbing them together, slowly picking up the thrusting again, not being able to believe how much pleasure he felt from this.

"Ugh, Liam…" Niall was so close, Liam saw and heard it, so he rolled his hips harder, desperately wanting to make the boy come, squeezing his hand tighter and moving his a bit, spreading the wetness around the both of them to make it easier. "L-Liam… 'm gonna… gonna cum..:"

"Yeah… go on, c'mon, Niall, c'mon…" The bed might've moved a little bit against the wall as Liam picked up speed, fucking into his own hand, feeling the delicious rub of both his palm and Niall's dick, dropping his head down between the boy's shoulder and neck, groaning into the pillow as he tried to hold back, wanting Niall to finish first.

And he did, a few thrusts later, Niall was crying out, tightening his arms around Liam almost painfully as he came in white spurts between their bellies, Liam felt it hitting his chest too as he just kept going, milking the orgasm out of Niall as he was nearing his own, feeling his balls drawing in closer to his body already.

"Fuck, Liam…" As Niall breathlessly moaned into his ear, that was enough for Liam to let go, the noises he made getting numbed by the pillow as he came harder than he could remember he ever had.

It seemed to last forever as well, the pleasure overwhelming Liam, it's just, the whole situation, all of this frustration building up the past few months, looking at Niall in the gym and on stage, then the making out and grinding together in the disco before, it made all of this pretty unbelievable, the fact that this was Niall and that Liam had wanted this so badly made everything even better.

Afterwards, when both of them had calmed down, just panting, their chests sticking together and Niall's arms more loosely around Liam, they didn't move for a while then, just staying like this, Liam on top of the younger boy, just turning his head to nuzzle his face into the side of Niall's neck, smelling sweat and Niall's natural scent, getting his head even dizzier.

Liam had no idea what happened afterwards to be honest, both of them were still drunk, and tired now as well, he was pretty sure they didn't speak, or maybe something so senseless that he just couldn't remember it. He did know that he kissed Niall again though, sloppily, not so eager anymore as the edge had been taken off, he probably also pulled the blanket over their naked bodies, though they were disgusting and could've needed a shower, but they didn't take one, they just remained in bed, wrapped up so closely into each other that it wasn't quite sure whose limbs belonged to who, and they must've slept in then somewhere in between, not thinking about tomorrow morning thanks to the alcohol, or anything really that was further away than the next five seconds.

 

————————

 

It was pretty cold as Liam stretched, yawning, trying to bury himself deeper into the pillows and blanket, not yet feeling rested enough to get up and do stuff, but when a slight pinch in his head became noticeable and the sheets rubbing against a spot he usually wore clothes over, he did attempt to sit up, confused as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, head pulsing uncomfortably now. "Niall?"

The boy's name was the first thing that left Liam's mouth, unintentionally somehow, he had just gotten used to waking up next to the boy, it was pretty confusing that he wasn't here somehow. Next, Liam noticed that he was naked, also, his skin felt really stick and gross, there was dried c-…oh shit.

Immediately after the realization hit him, the reason why the lights were all turned on, why his head hurt, why he felt so disgusting and the fact that his clothes were scattered on the floor in front of the bed, Liam wanted to punch himself as the memories came back floating in, what the hell had he been thinking?! And where the hell had Niall gone, fuck, this was not good at all.

Yeah, Liam had gotten drunk on purpose, he was also pretty sure he had gone over to Niall on purpose and 'danced' with him, but everything after that hadn't really happened with a lot of thought put in, hell, this was not what Liam's plan had been at all, he hadn't planned on fucking taking advantage of the younger boy while he was drunk, Niall hadn't even had a choice really, sure he had planned along, but only because he had been fucking drunk, and now Liam would forever be his first sexual experience and damn it, he didn't even know what the boy felt for him!

Frantically searching for his phone, trying to ignore the slight dizziness and pain, Liam's hands grabbed something else instead as he searched the bedside table, a piece of paper that looked like trash at first, but he looked at it anyways, which turned out to be a good decision, though it just had two words written on it, in the sloppiest handwriting Liam knew.

 

_I'm sorry_

 

That was all Niall had written, he hadn't even bothered signing it, hadn't bothered saying what exactly it was he felt sorry for and Liam almost broke out into tears then and there. Why was he such a fuck up? He shouldn't have allowed any of this, of course Niall hated him now, it had all been fun kissing and making out sometimes, but Liam had crossed the lines, he had had no right at all, to get Niall to do something like this with him, he had gotten drunk on fucking purpose, not with that goal, but it still had been his fault only. And Liam wasn't sure if he knew how to fix this now, tell the truth? No, that would definitely ruin everything, if it wasn't already because Niall had clearly left him, not willing to talk.

The feeling of deja vu rushing through Liam was almost unbearable, he choked his tears back though as he got out of bed, trying not to think about how much this reminded him of that time, almost three years ago, when he had woken up to find out Niall had run away. It felt like it right now as well, even if his common sense told him that Niall hadn't in fact ran away, Liam felt all the same panic and urge to find him, again, being driven by guilt, knowing that he had managed to mess all of this up yet another time.

Despite all of that, Liam didn't rush out of the door this time to go looking for Niall, he walked into the bathroom instead, immediately getting under the shower, the water was cold as he just stood there, letting it splash over him as he was freezing, not feeling the motivation to go and turn it warmer as he washed last night's remainders off of his body, his eyes getting teary as he used the shower gel Niall always smelled like, that's how emotional he had gotten.

No doubt, though he regretted it more than anything in this world, Liam didn't feel anything besides love for Niall whenever he thought back at last night, it had truly been amazing, that was for sure, though if he had been sober, he would've taken more time appreciating Niall's body, taken more time to kiss him more gently and telling him how much he loved him, how beautiful he was. But as things were right now, Liam was lucky if he even got to talk to Niall at all again.

An hour had passed until Liam finally walked out of the room, wearing some basketball shorts and a shirt plus a snapback because he really had no nerve to try and make his hair looking decent, He had tried calling Niall before but the boy hadn't picked up, which, of course got Liam worried, but he knew better than to panic, Niall could take care of himself now, he didn't need Liam to protect him, he knew what he was doing.

Passing a few staff members in the hallway, Liam was relieved to see none of them glaring at him, which meant that really no one had seen them making out last night, the bad news was that none of them had seen Niall though, so Liam headed for the only room he thought he'd maybe find people in who would be able to help him. Really, there was nothing Liam wanted to do less than explain anything right now, but he took a quick breath anyways before knocking on the door, nervously playing with the piece of paper in his pocket, feeling embarrassed about always going to Louis and Harry whenever he and Niall had troubles. Well, actually, they didn't have troubles, Liam was just a bloody idiot.

"Hey, Payno, was wondering when you'd come." Great, so Niall had been here before him, that was the problem about having the same best friends.

Louis was leaning against the doorframe, he looked a bit sleepy, but not as if he had just gotten up or something, just as if he had stayed awake too long last night, it still made Liam nervous though, to be standing here, once again clueless after messing up. "Um… do you know where Niall is? I… I gotta talk to him…"

"Come in." And that was all really, as if it was routine already, Louis stepped back to let Liam in, he didn't feel like it really, but he did anyways, not stopping until he was in the main area where Harry was on the couch, laptop on his lap, he didn't seem surprised either to see Liam. "Alright, Li, I'll make this short, okay? And I'm not gonna pretend like we don't know anything, because we do."

"Did he tell you?" Liam looked down as he sat on the edge of the bed, suppressing a deep sigh while playing with his fingers, of course Niall had told them, Liam wasn't mad or anything, but he was embarrassed kinda, that everyone had already known about his fuck up before he had even woken up.

"Well, yeah, but it wasn't hard to figure, you know, after you two stumbled off last night and had a snog in the middle of the club." Shit, why the hell would they watch Liam grinding against Niall?! "Anyways, Liam, can I ask you something? Like, in all seriousness now?"

Wasn't hard to figure what that was, right, Liam didn't look up to see what Louis was doing, probably sitting on the couch next to his boyfriend, it was so depressing right now that they were dating and Liam had probably lost his best friend because he had been so horny for him that he hadn't managed to keep himself together, because being allowed to snog him whenever he had wanted to hadn't been enough, why was Liam so greedy? "Yeah… what?"

"Do you like Niall? Or were you just drunk and horny?" It sounded harsh, not the way Louis asked but the words he used, it sounded so cheap, as if they thought Liam had used the younger boy, hell, if he wouldn't have liked Niall as much as he did, he wouldn't have even gotten drunk in the first place, if he had just seen Niall as his best friend only, he would've just made sure to stay sober and bring the younger boy safely to bed. But did he really wanna confess that?

"I… you really think I'm that kinda guy?… does Niall think that too? That I used him?" That was Liam's greater concern, not what those two thought, but what Niall thought, because if he did think that of Liam, then he was wasting important time hanging around here.

Looking up now to check their faces, Liam was just in time to see them exchanging a look, giving him an answer without saying anything. Yes, they did think that. "Look, Li, it's just… I don't know, if you really like him, why didn't you tell him? Why'd you have to get drunk first to get a move on him?"

"Because, I… I'm scared, I don't… I didn't wanna ruin anything, I know I ruined it now, but what if Niall would've been freaked out at this, we've been best friends for years and… I don't know, maybe he thinks it's weird I'm into him now because of everything and… I don't know, I never wanted to make him think I would take advantage of him, I know I shouldn't have gotten drunk or done what I did last night, just… I didn't know what else to do, okay? And then he's always with Harry or you whenever we go out because I'm so boring and I don't drink and it hurts because I really wanna spend time with him too and make him laugh, and… yeah, I was jealous last night, okay? I'm jealous all the fucking time when he's with you guys or anyone else, I want it to be like it used to be, we had that, the last few weeks, just… just it wasn't enough anymore either and I just-"

"Okay, Liam, I get it. You gotta go talk to him, okay? And tell him all of that, jesus, mate, you know he loves you, you're his best friend, more than that, he wouldn't get mad if you told him how you feel, definitely not as mad as he's gotten about last night." Shit, was he?

"He's mad at me?" Liam couldn't help but sound whiny, his eyes filling with tears at the thought of Niall having hated last night so much that he was pissed at Liam now, hadn't it been good for him? Or was he just disgusted because it had been Liam? Probably both.

"Well, not mad, just… just talk to him, okay? And tell him everything, Liam, you can't forever keep this a secret, it's way too obvious already." Was it? Probably yeah, maybe Niall had noticed Liam's creepy stares at some point and had figured it out, then again, he had still asked Liam to kiss him, so that didn't really make much sense either to be honest.

"Does he know, that, you know… that I love him?" Saying it out loud felt weird, but good too somehow, to have admitted it in front of someone else, only the reaction wasn't too much of what Liam had hoped for, they just looked at each other before Harry answered this time, it seemed as if he was suppressing a smile, but why would he find that funny?

"You should ask him that yourself, Li." What a great help, Liam almost rolled his eyes as he moved to get up, about to just walk outside again when he stopped midway, realizing that he had no idea where he was headed to.

"Do you know where he went? He doesn't um… answer his phone." To his displeasure, the other two really did look clueless now, Louis shrugged a bit, apparently not knowing what to answer.

"Well… he had his guitar with him, so he probably didn't leave the hotel I suppose, there's too many fans outside anyways, maybe he's with Zayn?" Right, if Niall was with Zayn Liam would kill his bandmate, but he kept it low for now, just thanking hem briefly before heading out into the hallway again.

This conversation had led to nothing, only that Liam now knew that he was completely exposed and that there was no way around this, he had to tell Niall the truth and then get rejected, but maybe the younger boy would at least not be so pissed at him anymore, if he knew that Liam hadn't used him, that he had done it simply because he really liked Niall.

Since he didn't know any other place to go, Liam headed back to the elevators, about to go search up Zayn now since he had no plan where else to start, he was a few floors higher than them, even thinking about that hurt too if Liam thought about it, because it reminded him of earlier days, when he had always made sure he and Niall got the room up on the top, because Niall liked the views so much, back then things had been pretty simple, all those small problems seemed ridiculous to Liam now, his ex girlfriend and all that, it was nothing compared to this.

As the elevator stopped, Liam found himself in an empty hallway, there was a window at the end and he walked over to look down, getting a bit nostalgic at the thought of little 17 year old Niall staring out of it all excitedly, grabbing Liam's hand, not wanting to leave, Liam didn't want Niall to be little again, that'd be weird, he just wanted to have him this close again, no secrets between them, touches and kisses that weren't awkward.

It was there at the window, getting lost in memories, that Liam suddenly had an idea about where Niall could have been, he headed back to the elevator quickly, where he had unconsciously seen the door that said something about warning and forbidden, but he mindlessly tried the handle anyways, not even surprised to find it unlocked.

There was a staircase that clearly led up to the roof top, Liam knew that if anyone caught him he'd get yelled at like crazy, but this risk was way worth finding Niall, and it did make sense right, he had his guitar with him and he probably wanted to be alone, plus he liked a good view, the roof top would've been the perfect place for him to be.

Liam pulled the door back closed behind him before half dashing up the short case of stairs, still taking two at once before he came to yet another door, again unlocked as he tried the handle, but this time stepping through, he was met by cold wind, fresh air and noise from way down where the street was at.

The hotel was a pretty high building, which made all of this even more mind blowing, even if Liam wasn't here for his own pleasure of course, he was here to find his best friend and confess his love to him, while he would probably get frost bites too, how very romantic, right?

For a bit, Liam just looked around, almost getting disappointed at not finding Niall after he had had this brilliant idea to look up here, but then, right as his stomach dropped, he faintly heard someone strumming his guitar, the sounds getting lost in the wind and noise though, but Liam turned around immediately, walking around where the door was and a little further to the edge, his heart skipping a beat then.

Niall really was here, sitting with crossed legs, pretty far by the edge, probably to have a better sight over the city, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants that didn't cover his legs completely, so he was probably freezing as well and stupid as it was, Liam scolded the younger boy in his mind, saying things like 'you'll get a cold, babe', he didn't in real life though.

Somehow Liam was very sure that Niall had already noticed him and just chose not to turn his head or say anything, he just kept strumming his guitar lightly, not stopping as Liam finally had the guts to step closer, trying not to scare him. "Hey…"

There was no response at first, so Liam stood there awkwardly, fighting for words, trying to think of what to say while staring down at Niall, last night's images popping up again, the younger boy looking so beautiful to Liam, even like this, messy hair and all, not dressed properly or so, he wanted to kiss him, pull him into his lap and wrap him up in his arms, apologize as many times as it took for Niall to forgive him. But that wasn't a method that worked any longer.

"Can we… can I sit down?" It seemed pretty appropriate to ask, Niall gave half a shrug, still refusing to look at Liam though, but at least something, he let out a quiet breath as he moved to sit down, next to the boy but facing him, with some distance because well, Niall probably didn't want him close anymore. "Look, Ni, I… I wanted to talk to you about last night, I was… I was at Harry and Louis' place and I just, I want you to know that I didn't mean to-"

"Oh cut the bullshit, Liam, I know you didn't mean to, okay? I know you were drunk and I was drunk too, and it just happened, there's nothing to talk about, it's no one's fault, we both played along, it's done." This was going to get harder than Liam had thought, Niall had stopped playing guitar now, in fact, he put it away to cross his arms over his chest, freezing obviously and god, Liam wanted to warm him up so badly right now.

"It's not done, Niall, I… I shouldn't have gotten drunk, okay? It's my job to take care of you, I shouldn't be wasted while-"

"Your job, Liam? It's not your bloody job to take care of me, I'm not a damn child anymore, okay? And you can get drunk as much as you want to, it has nothing to do with me or whatever happened, we were wasted and then we… we did that, nothing more, there's no need to talk." God, why was he so stubborn? Did he think Liam couldn't see how upset Niall was over all of this? How he still clearly refused to even look at him? 

"Can I please finish one time?" There was some quite aggressive shrug that caused Liam to sigh deeply, how was he gonna bring this all out? "Okay, look, Ni, you know, a few weeks ago, when you stayed behind with me at the bus? And how you asked me to… kiss you? I was really nervous about… about being the one you're always gonna remember whenever someone asks you about your first kiss and I.. I know you said it's okay if I went ahead and I would've never done it if you hadn't told me that. So I wanted to apologize, because of what happened last night, because you had no chance to say no, and it's kinda like with the kiss, I know you've never done anything like that before and I… I didn't wanna ruin this for you, Ni, and I'm truly sorry, I know I'm not the person you wanted to experience this with, just… I wouldn't ever wanna hurt you, or take advantage of you, I… I know the kissing and all that was just fun, between mates, right? And that it was nothing more for you and I should've never let it get this far or even agree to it, I'm so sorry, Niall, I… I'd do anything to fix this, I know you're mad at me and probably grossed out too, I just… I'm so sorry."

After that, Liam had to catch his breath, a little anxious about how long Niall's silence lasted afterwards, there was no sound except for the wind now, Liam was shivering slightly, refusing to look up and just staring at his lap, he hated himself so much right now, he felt so disgusted by himself, for doing this to Niall. "… between mates?"

Niall's voice was really thin and shaky too, Liam almost didn't catch it actually, he lifted his head automatically, more than confused at seeing the younger boy looking at him, with teary eyes and a wobbly bottom lip, wait, what had he done now?! "Niall, what… what's wrong, what did I say? Please don't cry, babe, I-"

"So… so you really only did it because… because you were drunk and horny? And you just kissed me and made out with me, because… because it was fun to mess around?!" Wait, wait, fuck, what?

"I… Niall, I… I thought that's how you saw it, I thought you were just curious and you were trying things out, I… yeah, I was drunk last night, but… but it wasn't just because I was horny…" None of this made any sense anymore, Liam helplessly watched as Niall rubbed his eyes, sniffing a tiny bit before looking at him again, almost breaking his heart.

"Then w-why? Why'd you do it, Liam? And why did the last few weeks happen, just because you thought I'd maybe like to practice snogging?!" Actually, yeah, Liam had thought that that had been the motivation from Niall's side, and he hadn't exactly minded because of obvious reasons, but…

"I… I thought that that was why you did it, yeah… I don't know, I… I was just happy you let me, I guess, that you enjoyed it and-"

"Answer the question, Liam, why?" Right, that was the moment of truth, Liam quickly looked away again, feeling pretty intimidated about confessing the truth, he felt really old suddenly, too old for someone like Niall to ever like, and not good enough looking, but he had to tell him, or the younger boy would forever think Liam had just played around with him like a toy.

"I did it because… you know because I… I really like you, Niall, and I… I was never brave enough to tell you about my feelings, 'cos I know you don't like me back and… I just really liked kissing you, you know? And cuddling with you and holding your hand and I… you know, I just missed you a lot, and then my feelings came in the way too and I was confused and I hated how well you got along with the other guys too, I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm so proud of you for becoming such an amazing guy that everyone loves and thinks is funny, but… that also means I have to share you. I do get jealous, yeah, a lot, especially when we go out and I don't drink and you go have fun with Harry instead because I'm boring, I get it, you know, just… I didn't want it to be like that last night, I wanted you to… pay attention to me, I guess, and things just took overhand, but I…I wouldn't have done it, if I hadn't truly wanted it, because I did and it was amazing, for me, I mean, but I'm still sorry because you're probably disgusted now, so to answer the question why… I guess I was just… trying to impress you a little bit, maybe, you know I was hoping that… that if we kept going, this might turn into more, that you'd maybe, like me back or so, I don't know, it's stupid…" Now it was out, it was done, all Liam had to wait for was the final rejection, maybe Niall understood him now though, at least a little bit, hopefully he didn't feel used anymore, if he knew that Liam wouldn't have just done that to everyone.

Niall didn't say anything for a long time actually, but when he did, it didn't sound as angry as Liam would've thought. "You're... in love with me?"

"Um… yeah, I guess I am. I mean I don't guess, I know it, since a few months, I just didn't wanna admit it to myself, and I'm sorry too, I should've told you, I guess, just… I was scared, I didn't… didn't wanna ruin anything." Which he had anyways, with distinction even and beyond any chance of repair.

"You, impressing _me_?" It sounded pretty mean to be quite honest, Liam looked up to the see Niall's face shocked instead of amused though, he didn't really know what was going on anymore.

"Yeah… I thought, you know, I was pretty happy that you liked kissing me and I… I thought I'd be okay with it if this was all I'd get, but… I was still jealous, like really, and then that one night after the concert when you were with Harry all the time and then Zayn told me you kissed Louis on the cheek, and when you guys wanted to go out then and I said I was tired… I was just really sad in reality, I didn't wanna lie about feeling bad, but I… I didn't wanna come along just so I'd have to watch you having fun with the others again, I'm sorry…" He truly was, he had lied and messed everything up, like really, how much more mistakes could Liam have made here?

"Liam…" Niall was shaking his head for a while, just looking at him, completely thrown off track as it seemed like, which Liam got, because damn, that really were some weird secrets he had kept, but then suddenly the younger boy let out a laugh. "Oh, Liam, you're so damn cute and oblivious."

"Um… Niall?" What the hell, wasn't he mad? Did he still wanna be Liam's friend? And why oblivious, wasn't Niall the one who hadn't noticed Liam drooling all over him?

"Li, did you really not guess it? Really? I never kissed Louis anywhere, Li, never, I also wasn't having half as much fun dancing with Harry as it looked like probably, and Zayn, you really think Zayn likes going out with me that much? You really think I like spending time with anybody else more than I like being with you, that just because I get along better with people now, that you're not the most important one to me anymore? God, Liam, I told the boys and they helped me because I was just trying to make you jealous!" He laughed again after that, not really as if he was amused though, and either way, Liam still didn't get it, his mouth had dropped open though, because… how could that even be?!

"But… but why would you wanna do that, why didn't you just… " Go ahead and told Liam that he wanted to spend more time with him? They could've done everything together, hell, they had wasted all that time because none of them had opened their mouth about missing the other, how dumb was that?

"What? Talked to you? You didn't do it either, Li, I was nervous too, but god… I feel so bad now, I didn't know it hurt you so much and got you so extremely jealous, I mean that's what I wanted, but not that much, I thought you didn't like me, because you never did anything about it and just got even more distant, and then when I asked you to kiss me, I thought you'd get the hint finally, but we just kept on making out for weeks and no one ever said anything and then last night, hell, I wanted it as well, and it was amazing for me too, Li, I would've never wanted to do this with anyone but you, but when I woke up, I… I was worried, you know, that you maybe really only did it because you were… well, horny, that it really was just messing around for you, without feelings, and before when you said that, I panicked because deep down I always hoped you actually do like me back and-"

"Wait… like you _back_?!" Liam had just listened, speechless, still not knowing what Niall was on about, was he… was he talking about… about liking Liam too?! So this hadn't been messing around, for either of them? And Niall had spent as many thoughts on all of this as Liam had?!

"Liam, do you still not get it, babe?" Niall calling him babe had Liam's stomach twisting into knots, it felt good though, but his mind was still blocked somehow, he couldn't process this, let himself believe that this was real, that Niall was speaking the actual truth, that he had enjoyed last night too, that he didn't regret it. 

"I, just, I… why would you… why would you like me?" His words came hard over his lips, Liam was so dam confused, just sitting there, staring at Niall, who was smiling, sweetly though, suddenly moving over.

"You're the most amazing person I've ever met, Li, I love you so much, everything about you, I like when you watch out for me and when you still tell me to put a jacket on sometimes, and how much you care about me, and I love your dumb jokes and how you can always cheer me up no matter what, how selfless you are and how cuddly and what a great pillow you are and how cute you look when you're asleep… I just love you, I do, Liam." Oh god, no crying now, that would've been more than embarrassing, but just the thought of Niall being honest about this caused Liam's heart to melt, fuck, he loved him so much too.

"B-But… since when and… and-"

"I've been crushing on you since I was sixteen, Liam." Wait, but that wasn't even possible.

"You've known me for three hours when you were-"

"Shush, Li, I'm trying to be romantic, okay? And I did find you nice and attractive there, so it counts." God, his smile was so sweet and cute, Liam's still hadn't fully allowed to let himself believe all of this though, it seemed so surreal, that he'd just get everything he had ever wanted.

"But… it's not just a crush anymore, right?" Just to ask again, because Liam couldn't comprehend, his heart was bumping so damn fast now at the thought of what this meant of what was maybe going to happen now, at the thought of getting to be with Niall maybe, really being with him.

"Pretty sure a crush doesn't last for years, Li… " And then after saying this, Niall carefully took Liam's hands in his, brushing his thumb over the older boy's knuckles before leaning in, brushing their lips together for a moment, whispering before fully kissing Liam. "Pretty sure the better word for it is love."

The following kissing was the best yet in Liam's whole life, it was slow and sweet and though he knew Niall's mouth and lips pretty well by now, it was still kinda new, more loving, gentler, they weren't in haste or anything, not bruising each others lips, just kissing slowly for a bit until Niall pulled back again, giving Liam's hands a squeeze while smirking at him. "I… I love you too, Nialler."

"I know." Niall laughed for a second before his face got a little bit more serious, suddenly letting go of Liam to run his palms up and down his arms with a worried expression. "God, you're freezing, we should go inside and-"

"No wait, I'm fine, I…" Liam's stomach felt pretty warm now to be honest, he even managed a small smile, liking the way Niall cared about him, just like the other way around. "I just… I wanted to… why now? I mean… if this has been going on for years then… why not months ago?"

"Because I kinda wanted to wait, you know? I mean… I was pretty childish back then, and I couldn't take care of myself at all, I knew you'd never return my feelings and it was okay, then I became older and I didn't say anything because I didn't wanna ruin our friendship, or make it weird, so I just waited again until, well, I noticed you looking at me in the gym sometimes. And on stage, I pretended not to notice, but damn, it made feel really confident, but I still didn't know whether you liked me back or anything. So, I told Harry and Louis, and they said I should try and make you jealous because you always tend to get really possessive then and I'd immediately know, but it didn't really work so well, did it? Well, I was in their room this morning, and I told them, please don't be mad, and they said they also didn't know whether you have any feelings for me or not because they would've expected you to make a move much sooner, so… I was pretty depressed coming up here, I already thought you really only wanted to fool around a bit, but…" Smiling, Niall leaned in to kiss Liam again, a little longer than a peck, his lips soft and warm, giving the older boy even more goosebumps than he already had.

"So they knew? From the beginning, they also knew about us snogging the whole time?" Wow, how had they kept it to themselves for so long? And downstairs before, they hadn't even dropped any hints on Niall liking Liam back!

"Um, yeah, sorry, I didn't wanna spill our secrets or anything, just… I was a bit desperate for help, you know." Niall had blushed slightly confessing this, so Liam immediately reached out to cup his cheek, shaking his head quickly, this boy was not going to feel bad about anything at all.

"No, it's okay, Ni, really, I get it, I'm glad all of this happened, actually… god knows, I would've never been brave enough to actually tell you, you know, just… I don't know, I can't fully believe this, I… I've wanted this for so long and before it took me forever to realize it and… I'm so happy now." Tears were building up again while Liam looked at Niall, letting his hand sink slowly to rub his eye instead, hoping he wouldn't break out into tears now.

"Aw, Liam, I'm so happy too." And then, Niall moved to drop himself into the older boy's lap, warming him up immediately as he wrapped his arms around his neck, pressing a soft kiss to Liam's forehead before gently wiping his thumb underneath the thin skin under his eye. "Don't cry, Li, everything's good now, we can get through anything, can't we? We'll always have each other, no matter what happens, right? You saved my life, no, you saved me in every possible way and I'm forever gonna be so grateful for that, I adore you so much, Liam, you're my personal angel and this is all I'm ever gonna need, just you and me."

"Yeah… " Liam agreed, his tears still spilling over now as he clung to the younger boy, but it was alright because Niall just smiled, leaning forward to catch them with his lips, wiping his tears like Liam had done so often the other way around. But that was the thing wasn't it, maybe Niall saw him as his guardian angel, for taking him in and for making sure he was alright, being there when no one else was, but Liam saw it differently, because this wonderful, silly boy had just stumbled into his life, had turned everything around and grown into such an admiring person, now equally taking care of Liam as much as the other way around, and Liam couldn't help thinking that Niall actually was the angel who had saved _him_ , made his life 100% better, and he'd make sure this boy, his _boyfriend_ , would never forget that. "Just you and me."


End file.
